For Crying Out Loud by J. Preston

16Lonely Immortal Schmuck

Using your laptop to research buying a new one is like asking it to dig its own grave.

- Carter

Jenny

What the hell?

How did I just go from crazy-angry to…well, kissing Carter?

This is ridiculous.

“Right…” I say. “I’m gonna go then. Forgot to feed the fish, you know?”

“You don’t have any fish.” Carter cocks his head to the side. His eyes are dark and intense, and I have the distinct feeling that I need to get out of here before I do something stupid. Like get closer to him and kiss him again.

“Huh?” What did he just say? I should be paying attention, not admiring the way his t-shirt hugs his chest.

“What fish, Jenny?” His lips form a smile. Shit, he’s right. Couldn’t I say a cat or something? Oh wait, I don’t own one either…

“Fish… The ones in the pond… In the park… Where the ducks are!” Well done, Jenny, you will make a great spy one day. Just not today.

“Right.”

“Okay then, well I’ll see you soon. Bye!” I blurt out, then run back to my car.

Holy shit. I mean HOLY SHIT! Carter just kissed me. I kissed him back and… Oh man, I kinda liked it.

Like I need more confusion in my life…

Let’s get something straight. Carter Kennedy is a great kisser. And judging by his reaction, I am not too bad either. But even though I found the kiss, errr, let’s call it pleasurable, it can NOT happen again.

Carter is a friend. No, he’s been like a best friend, and I can’t jeopardize that, no matter how confused I am in this moment. Then there’s Jason. If he flipped out about me kissing Aiden, he’d outright murder Carter… And then there’s also the minor matter of Aiden… And the She-Devil.

I drive back home, constantly checking my reflection in the rearview mirror, the expression of shock firmly plastered all over my face all the way until I park in the driveway. I notice Aiden’s car is gone from outside of our house, so I deem the environment safe enough to go through the front door. Hoping that both Chloe and Aiden are not banging in his room, having just disguised his car somewhere in a bush to trick me, I tiptoe down the hallway. The door to Aiden’s room is fully open and his room is empty. I breathe a sigh of relief.

Walking into my room, I can finally relax. Guys are so confusing. I should talk to Mrs. Bloom, she seemed to have a good grasp on how to get them trained. I also needed someone with whom I could discuss all the stuff that went down this morning.

Oh crap.

I swallowed the large lump, which appeared in my throat. I forgot about the one person I should have been thinking about all along. Whipping my phone out of my bag, I dial.

“Hey, bestie,” she answers on the first ring.

“Hayley?”

“Jenny, what’s wrong?” She must have picked up the panic in my voice.

“Hayley, I’m so sorry. It just happened and I wasn’t thinking. God, I’m an awful friend,” I blurt out, my voice cracking.

“Babe,” she interrupts me. “Slow down. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Start from the beginning. What’s wrong?”

I take a deep breath and recount the events from this morning, starting with She-Devil in Aiden’s room and finishing with Carter kissing me. Hayley listens without interrupting until I’m done with the story.

“So, you and Carter, do you like like each other?” she finally asks.

“No, I don’t think so.” Fact is, I’m still totally into Aiden…

“Okay.”

“I mean, Carter is a great kisser, one that can make you question your ability to stand upright. But he’s also one of my best friends, and, to be honest, he only kissed me to check if I wasn’t a horrible kisser, I think,” I blurt.

“Okay.”

“Are you mad at me? I’m an awful friend, aren’t I? I shouldn’t have even let him kiss me… God… Hayley, please forgive me.”

“Jenny…” Hayley takes a big breath. “It’s fine. You’ve done nothing wrong. I never said I like him. I just think he’s hot.”

“Are you sure now?”

“Am I sure what?”

“Whether or not you like him?” I ask.

“I’m sure,” Hayley slowly replies. “I like him as a friend. Like I said, I don’t want guys to interfere with my studies. I’m on a self-imposed relationship ban, anyway. It all worked out for the best.”

“I’m so sorry.” My eyes fill with tears at the thought that I could have hurt my best friend.

“It’s okay, really. I promise,” she says, softly.

“Okay.” I sniffle.

“C’mon girl, don’t get upset over this.” I nod, not that she can see me. “So Aiden and Chloe…” Hayls starts. “Are you sure?”

“Well, Chloe outright insinuated that something happened.”

“Hmmmm, I’ve heard quite a few things about Chloe Price in our dorms, and honesty is not one of her qualities. Maybe you should talk with Aiden first. Not that I’m defending him.”

“Maybe,” I hesitate. “I just don’t know what to think.”

“It’ll all be okay, babe. Maybe you and Aiden need to cool it for a bit?”

“Yeah, I guess.” The thought of going back to being just friends makes me want to punch things, but Hayley might be right. Potentially, it could be good for us.

“Don’t worry, Jenny, it’ll all work out. You’ll see.” I can hear Hayley’s smile through the phone.

“Thanks. I’m just tired of the whole situation. You’re right, I think, going back to the start would be best.” I walk to my bed and lie down, feeling deflated.

“Let’s meet later. I’ve got a couple of things I need to do now, but I’ll come over in the evening, okay?”

“That would be great, Hayley, thank you.”

“See you soon then, hon.” Her voice sounds normal, and I hope to God I did not screw up the first friendship I have had in years.

“Bye.”

I turn the phone off and look at the ceiling. How on earth has it come to this? Should I just move to a different university and start anew? Away from all this drama. I close my eyes and try not to think of Aiden or Carter. I can still feel Carter’s body heat around me. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping it’ll block the image of the two boys that have me so messed up.

When I wake up a couple of hours later, I feel groggy and disoriented. I sit up in my crumpled clothes, oblivious for the briefest of moments, then memories flood me. Chloe, Aiden, Carter, the kiss. Rubbing my face roughly, I try to wipe away traces of my thoughts, put them away in a vault somewhere, but it doesn’t work. Instead, my skin starts to hurt. I sigh and make my way to the shower. I don’t sing this time. My mood is as black as a starless night. I stand for what feels like an hour under the stream of hot water until my skin turns all wrinkly and the whole bathroom is so steamy I can’t even see my toes.

I turn the water off and take a step, but my head spins from the heat and steam. I hold on to the wall and press my forehead against the cool tiles. After a minute, I wrap a towel around my body and take a few steps towards the bathroom door.

My hand reaches for the doorknob when the world begins to spin again. I manage to turn it and push the door before everything goes black and my body falls slack on the floor.

“You’re okay, kitten.” I hear a soothing voice far away. When I open my eyes, black spots are dotting my vision, and all I can hear is a loud ringing in my head. I’m no longer on the floor but in Aiden’s strong arms. He gently lays me down on the bed and slides his arms from underneath me. “I’ll get you some water. Wait here.” What a genius. I obviously was going to go for a walk in my towel and not be able to stand properly… Duh.

I try sitting up, touching my hand to the bump on the back of my head, which has started to throb.

When Aiden walks back into my room, he’s holding a glass of cool water and a wet cloth. Sitting down next to me, he gently presses the cool cloth to my forehead and hands me the glass of water, his eyes filled with concern, melting the ice around my heart. The coolness on my forehead feels glorious, and I move my head to my hand, trying to take a sip, but the throbbing gets worse and I just end up wincing and spilling some water on myself. He gently puts his hand behind my back and props me up, steadily guiding my hand that’s holding the glass towards my mouth. I take a sip, then stop, suddenly hyperaware of Aiden’s proximity and the fact that all I have on is a meager towel.

“Hi.” I clear my throat.

“You scared me.” He stares at me, his eyes dark, searching. I flush with embarrassment. Great. “You’ve got a habit of doing that.”

I clear my throat again. “Mind if I put some clothes on?” He shakes his head. “In privacy?” I motion with my head towards the door.

“Oh… Right… Are you sure you’re okay, though? You’re not going to faint again, are you?” He gives me an already too familiar look of concern. He’s right. I seem to be more accident prone than usual lately. I blame it on all the hormones.

“I’ll be sure to call you as soon as I do.” I smile innocently. He nods at me, then moves towards the door.

“I’m just on the other side. You have one minute, then I’m coming back in to make sure you’re okay.” I roll my eyes as he walks outside and closes the door behind him. Slipping into my yoga pants, a tank, and an oversized grey sweater with Mickey Mouse on it, I go in search of a hair tie. I’m in the process of tying my crazy hair into a messy bun when Aiden strolls back into my room. I grab my black Converse from the closet and slip them on, then, with a racing heart, I turn back around only to see Aiden sitting on my bed, looking as comfy as one can be.

“So…” I say, walking over to him.

“So…” he says, looking back at me.

“You and Chloe?” I ask quietly.

“You and Carter?” he asks, looking into my eyes. Shit.

“I asked first.” I decided to play the first grader card. Aiden sighs.

“Chloe was really drunk, too drunk to make her own way home. I was raised as a gentleman…”

“So you took her home to bang her?” Bang her? Who even says bang out loud these days? I could just slap myself. Aiden draws his eyebrows together.

“No, kitten… I’d never… Do you really think I’d do such a thing?” I look down at my shoes. The tips are scuffed and the black material is faded. They’re super interesting. “She slept in my bed and I slept on the floor,” he finishes softly.

“You might want to update her on that.” I look up at him. “That’s not what she said…”

“Well, it’s true, Jenny. Believe me.”

“Okay.” I slowly nod. I have no reason not to believe him; it’s not like he’s ever lied to me before, and he’s being calm and open. Unless he’s a master liar and all my friends are idiots, he might actually be telling the truth. Damn. This sucks. I really wanted to have the upper hand here.

“What about you and Carter?” Aiden asks, staring at me. His back is straight and his shoulders are tight. I look back down at my interesting shoes, smelling a trap. Maybe I could put some glitter on them? Draw on some smiley faces or monkeys? I look back up at Aiden; he’s still expecting an answer. Damn.

“We’re just friends,” I drawl as Aiden raises his eyebrow at me. “The thing is, Aide, you’re awfully confusing these days. First you pursue me, then you say you want to be friends, then you kiss me, then you don’t want me. It’s just too much.” I blow air out of my lungs. “I don’t know what to think…” I decide to just throw it right in his face and see his reaction. “Carter and I kissed this morning.”

“I know.” His jaw tightens. Oh.

“You do? How?” This is what I mean when I say he confuses the hell out of me. How on earth would he know, and why is he not bashing things? I mean, I destroyed at least four bushes when I thought about him and Oompa Lumpa…

“I saw you…”

What the hell?

“What the hell?” Aiden looks down at his hands. His cuticles are incredibly tidy. I quickly take a peek at mine and decide my scuffed shoes are way better to look at. “I was trying to find you. I wanted to talk to you and didn’t want you to get the wrong idea about Chloe and I. I went to look for you and I guess I found you, only…you were kissing Carter.” Well shit. The muscle in his jaw twitches, making that dimple in his right cheek appear, then disappear. I fight the urge to reach out and touch it.

“Aiden, I… I’m confused as to what you want me to say.” I’m definitely not going to apologize, even though I feel like I want to. But I did nothing wrong. It’s not like Aiden ever said he wanted to be with me.

“Nothing, I guess… I think I blew it, didn’t I?” He looks up at me, his emerald eyes big and hopeful. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Blew what?

“What do you mean?”

“I want to try… Us.”

“Oh.” Jaw. On. The. Floor.

“I guess, I took too long to realize that.” I narrow my eyes at him. Is he toying with me? Is he saying all this just because he saw me kiss Carter? What about him playing hot and cold with my feelings? What about Jason?

“No…” I start, trying as best as I can to gather my thoughts. “It’s just that this shouldn’t be this hard, should it? I mean, we seem to want the same thing, but every time something or someone gets in the way…” I pull my knees to my chest. “I think…” Oh God, am I really doing this? “I think that maybe we should take a step back and be friends for a little while,” I finally blurt out. My heart is hammering in my chest. “See how that’s going and take it from there.”

Aiden has a solemn look on his face. “If that’s what you want,” he says, his puppy dog eyes staring right into my soul. I extend my hand towards him and put it on his shoulder. All I want to do is to reach higher, touch his face, pull him closer to me, comfort him, but I have to be strong about this.

“I don’t really… But I think it’s best to establish that we are sure what we both want first.” I take a deep breath. “So, friends?”

“Friends.” Aiden nods and puts his rough hand over mine, squeezing it. His hand is warm, his touch giving me shivers, and I wish I could take back those damned words and just pull him on top of me. This is for the best, I tell myself. “Well, friend.” Aiden smiles a small smile at me, drawing my gaze to his lips and those sexy dimples of his. “I was wondering if you could help me out with something.”

“Sure, what is it?” Please say you need mouth to mouth, please say ‘mouth to mouth’. Moooouth tooo moooouth.

“Well,” he runs his hand through his hair, looking sheepish. “I guess it’s best to just come out and say it.” Holy crap, is he going to come out to me or something? Ask me to help him find a boyfriend now that we’re friends? Does that mean I’ll never be able to lick him? Damn. “I may have hit a stray dog while I was driving—”

“What?” I exclaim.

“He’s okay! He’s okay. I guess, I kind of adopted him and need to go pick him up soon. Would you come with me?”

“How…? What…? When…? How much….?” Goldfish face makes an appearance again. “I mean, yes. Are you okay? What happened to the dog?”

“I am, but the little buddy has a couple of broken bones. You’ll love him.” He smiles up at me. “Also, you’ll need to help me convince Jason that we need a dog in the house.”

I laugh. That will not be a problem. Jason is a sucker for anything with four legs and fur. He once tried to bring home a skunk. He named him Stinky. Wonder why…

We spend the next couple of hours shopping for essentials for the pup, and when five o’clock comes around, I find myself in front of the vet’s with Aide standing right next to me, smiling. Apparently I’m excited about the prospect of having a dog in the house, since my heart is trying to get out of my chest and my palms are sweaty. Aiden opens the door for me and I walk into the sterile office. A middle-aged man greets us and shakes Aiden’s hand.

“Ah, you’re here!” He smiles warmly at Aiden. “He’s ready for you. Come back later this week so we can register him properly. But, for now, I’ll let you both get to know each other first.” He looks over at me and smiles as the double door behind him opens and a brown ball of fur comes out limping, a purple cast on his back leg. “I’ve got some antibiotics and pain medicine for him. You’ll need to monitor him, but he should be fine.” The man continues.

The ball of fur looks at me and Aiden with its large brown eyes, then hobbles over timidly. There’s a line where the fur has been shaved off above the cast, revealing a skinny leg. I’m in love.

I kneel and stretch my hand out. “Hey you,” I say softly as the ball of fur gets closer and starts sniffing at it. The tail wags three times before the dog whimpers happily and greets me, placing kisses on my arms and hair. I laugh. “Oh boy, do I hope you didn’t have poo for breakfast!” I stroke his brown fur.

Aiden leans down, mirth in his eyes, pats the dog, and laughs. The dog starts going crazy for him, whimpering and licking and wagging its tail like a, well, a happy dog.

Once both the dog and I calm down a little, Aiden exchanges a few more sentences with the vet and then we all pile into the Jeep.

I insist on sitting in the backseat next to the dog and scratching him behind his ear throughout the journey. He’s got his face on my lap and is breathing heavily but contently.

When we arrive at the house, Aide helps the dog out of the car, then grabs all his supplies. I’ve already opened the bag of treats and fed a couple to the pup, bribing him to love me more, of course. I know how this works.

We walk into the house. Jason is on the sofa watching football.

“Jason?” I say, smiling as the brown fur ball limps over towards him.

“Mmmm?” Jason mumbles. The fur ball is now by the side of the sofa and putting his nose on the edge, licking Jason’s hand, the one that’s holding the remote. “Aaaah!” Jason shrieks, startling me and the dog. “OhmyGod! OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod! It’s a dog! Can we keep it?”

I laugh and look over at Aiden. “I told you this would be easy.”

“Yeah.” Aiden walks over to the couch. “We can keep him. We need to name him first though,” he says, setting the dog bed on the floor. Fur ball makes himself comfortable on it instantly.

“Dibs!” Jason shouts. “I’m amazing at naming animals. Ask Jenny.” He’s shit… But I’ll let him off since we’re keeping the dog. “ I shall name you…Jacob Black! You’ll keep Edward some much needed company. He was getting lonely, that poor immortal schmuck.” I roll my eyes.

“Seriously?” Aiden asks with disbelief. “You want to name our dog Jacob Black?” Jason nods.

“How about Jake?” I interject. “We can shorten Jacob to Jake.” Jason nods excitedly, and the dog barks happily.

“You see? Jake likes his new name, don’t you Jake?” Jason leans over and lets Jake lick his face. I decide not to mention the poo eating. Let the boy have his fun. Both of the boys…

Aiden sits down on the sofa and pats Jake on his head. I join them, plopping on the coffee table. Jake quickly leaves Jason alone and tries climbing on my lap. I help him up. It looks ridiculous because I’m small and Jake is, well, a medium sized dog. But I’m happy and so is Jake.

“Look, he’s a ladies man,” Jason notices just as Jake buries his nose in my cleavage. I laugh and scratch behind his ear.

“I wish girls did that whenever I put my face in their boobs...” Jason trails off.

“Me too,” Aiden agrees.

I roll my eyes and hug Jake closer to my body. It’s been a while since I felt this happy.