Until Love by May Gordon
Robert
Talon asks, “You sure you don’t mind running to town for supplies?”
I assure him I don’t as I skim the list. Anything to get me out of here. "I'll see you later,” I tell him as I hop in my ride and leave the worksite. Tomorrow I’ll be switching to the school with a new team. Hopefully, it’ll help with my anxiety.
It hasn't been an easy month, every day I’m a civilian is feeling more difficult than the last. Finding a job has been the hardest of all, not that I need the money it’ll provide. I haven't touched the small estate money from my mom or spent much of my military pay over the years. Plus, I have a pension now. But I need to keep my mind busy, something I can focus on. I’ve tried various positions, including those with Sage, Cobi, and Nico, but I quickly realized bounty hunting and law enforcement hit too close to home. I've had more than enough bad guys and guns at this point. I want fucking peace.
When Talon and Bax mentioned doing construction with their company and uncles, I gave it a try. So far it’s been close to a disaster on most days, I still struggle with loud noises or unexpected contact, like what happened with Brandon.
Every time I feel like I'm drowning, I remember the beautiful stranger I almost ran off the road. Her blonde hair, blue eyes, her smell. Just the thought of her calms me, letting me feel like I can be normal again, just an average person.
Ironically, she's far from that. She’s exceptional. I’ve been tempted to describe her to a sketch artist, wanting an image of her to pass around to find out who she is, but I never follow through on it. What could I possibly offer a woman like that? Hell, for all I know she could be married, and the last thing I need is to get wrapped up in a murder charge for killing the bastard lucky enough to have her. I’ll have to settle with using her as a mental tool, a thought that makes me feel like shit.
The drive is quick, and I pull into the hardware store in the center of town. I'm getting reacquainted with the places here, I don't go out much unless it's running errands for Talon or Bax. Not even for food as Sophie has gotten into the habit of dropping off homemade meals. I swear I'm going to be fat and lazy in no time because of her cooking.
Walking in to the store, I nod at the guys behind the counter, an improvement from when I could only manage a look. Who says I can't learn to be social? Counting that as a gain, I begin to gather everything on the list, then move to the wrenches and search for the right size. A noise from someone dropping a tool a few feet away from me has me dropping my basket and turning to face them, brandishing the wrench I'm holding as a weapon, ready to kill the perceived threat. The man gasps and looks terrified before becoming angry.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" He snaps as he picks up his stuff and walks away. My blood is pumping too hard, too fast, making my ears ring. I can feel eyes on me and meet some of them, finding them staring at me weirdly, or worse, with fear. Embarrassment and self-loathing fills me because I still react this way.
I retrieve my items in a hurry and pay, rushing outside to my vehicle where I throw it in the back, slamming the tailgate shut. It does nothing to calm me down as I try to compose myself. So what if I freaked out. I have reasons. I can’t let it rule me. But it does, and I punch my truck a few times, leaving my knuckles bloody and stinging. I’m about to yell in frustration when a tiny voice has my head shooting up.
"Hi, Robbie," My mystery angel greets me. She is real. Some days, I honestly thought I’d conjured her up despite having her bracelet as proof that she exists.
"Posie." I greet in surprise. She’s wearing a shirt with a giant half avocado cartoon that’s dressed like a unicorn. For some reason, my mind fixates on it. “Why?” I ask, gesturing toward the design as I lean against my ride and cross my arms.
The pipsqueak shadows me, mimicking my stance and looking annoyed by my question. "Who wouldn't want to be a unicorn?" She responds as if I'm a total idiot, maybe I am.
"Well, you got me there, kid. What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in school?"
She shrugs, ignoring the last part to say, "I wanted to see you."
"Really?" I know she hears the surprise in my tone.
"I've been watching you," she explains, drawing a laugh from me.
"That sounds super creepy, Posie."
"I know," she agrees with a smile, one that’s contagious. "You’re sad." Her pinpoint accuracy is unnerving and comforting.
“Not anymore now, thanks to you.” It’s the truth, five seconds with her is better than days without. “Can I driver you somewhere? Home? School?”
She nods her head. "I need your help," Posie informs me, then proceeds to walk to the passenger side, open the door, and hop in.
"All right then," I sigh as I walk to my side and get in. "I better not get arrested for kidnapping," I warn her.
"I'll just say you're my daddy." That statement shocks me. Me as a father? Fuck I can’t even imagine it. I’d be horrible. I can barely take care of myself, let alone a kid. But somewhere deep down I feel a flicker of joy at the thought. Maybe in my next life.
"Fine, but if I'm thrown in jail, you're paying my bail."
"What's that?" She asks with wide, curious eyes.
"It's when you give someone a pie because you got them in trouble," I lie.
"Oh," she responds, stopping to think about it. "Then Kyle owns me a lot of them," she mutters under her breath. When I want to know where we’re going, she tells me to head toward the old junkyard near the outer part of town. As we drive, I ask who Kyle is.
"A mean older boy at school that pushes me around until I get mad, but I'm the only one who ends up in trouble."
The thought of any kid picking on Posie has anger rushing to the surface. "Want me to take care of him?" I offer.
“What does that mean?”
My suggestions make her giggle. "Put glue on his seat. Glitter in his hair."
“That’s stupid.” She laughs. “How about kicking him in the nards.” This makes me laugh hard.
“You’re ruthless kid. I love it.” I grin at her.
We discuss several more tactics while we drive. After we arrive, she directs me to a spot near the end of the property where a chain link fence contains old cars and scrap metal scattered about.
"Okay, you got me here. You plan on killing me and hiding my body?"
Before I know it, she's out and walking to the fence. "I’d never hide it here," she calls out over her shoulder as I race to follow her. Some of the things that come out of her mouth… As we stop to look around, I don’t see anything out of the ordinary until she points. “There!” A large dog appears from behind a pile of scrap, dragging the chain he’s tied to. He’s huge and very clearly in poor health. Posie pulls a few pieces of bread from her bag, then orders me to go like a four-star general.
"What do you expect me to do?" Then I make the mistake of looking at her. Her big blue eyes are full of desperation and sadness. Fuck me, how can I deny this kid anything.
"Please. He's hurt and sad. He needs us." She even wobbles her bottom lip.
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath. How is it that she can already manipulate me so easily? Returning to my vehicle, I grab the pliers and cut a hole in the barrier. "Stay here," I tell Posie before approaching the animal. He's instantly on guard, growling and snapping, not that I blame him. Not only does he appear abused, he’s malnourished, too. Crouching, I wait, not moving as he slowly gets closer. Thankfully, he doesn’t snap at me, and when I can reach it, I unclip him, noticing that it was so tight it rubbed away some of the fur on his neck. Giving him some bread, I attempt to gain his trust. He’s scared and desperate to be rescued and wastes no time trailing behind me to get out of there.
"He's so cute!" Posie squeals with delight.
"Stay back for now,” I warn her. “We don't know him that well yet." I can’t let anything happen to her. I’ve only met this kid twice and I know I would already risk my life to protect hers.
As I help him in the back, she’s almost in tears when she says, "It's because that mean old man hurts him." She’s talking about the man who owns the junk yard. I tell her not to worry, promising that we’ll get him better. Then I get her inside and move behind the wheel, her hand grabbing for mine when I’m inside, her gaze watching the dog, keeping an eye on him.
“Don’t worry kid. My friend July will fix him up. She’s the vet in town.” I try to console her. The little tears in her eyes making my heart break.
She sniffs asking “If you were a dog would you want her to help you?”
I can’t help but smile, my cheek muscle starting to hurt from using them so much suddenly. “Absolute. Without a doubt.” I say with great confidence. On our way, I give the clinic a call, telling them we are on our way.
We drive to Beasts Veterinary clinic in town, and one of the techs assists us to a room. When July enters, she can’t contain her surprise. "Robert, it's nice to see you," she greets me with a smile, stopping short when she spots Posie next to me.
"Hi, Posie. What are you doing here?"
"You know this kid?" I glance at Posie, but she's focused on the dog. He was given a tranquillizer and set up with an IV within minutes of our arrival, but she’s been petting him and kissing his head the whole time.
"Yea, her mom works with December. Shouldn't you be on a field trip, young lady?"
"Robbie helped save Princess," Posie states, not answering July’s question.
Her words make me pause. "Whoa. Princess?" I gawk at her, unable to hide my reaction. "You can't name him that."
"Why not!" She whirls around to face me, ready to defend it. "It can be gender neutral." She gives me a cute little death glare.
"What the fuck does that mean?" July chastises me for my language, but I don't pay her any mind, too busy dealing with Posie as I reason with her. "For one, he's a boy, and dogs are called Spike, Max, or Rover." I then gesture to his size. “Two, he’s a huge dog and his name needs to represent that. Like Bear, Tank, Moose.”
She shakes her head violently. “Those are stupid. A Princess is royalty, that’s big.”
“Then let’s name him King!”
She stomps her little foot. “No, no, no. It’s Princess and that’s that.” She crosses like that was the end of our discussion.
I let out a growl of frustration. Running my hands through my hair. Should have known a girl who thinks an avocado unicorn is cool would think up a ridiculous name.
July's laugh of amusement catches my attention as she looks over the dog. "You two fight like my brother-in-law’s and cousins do with their daughters."
"Their daughters also come up with stupid names for their pets?" I roll my eyes when Posie sticks her tongue out at me.
Posie keeps up a steady stream of chatter with July, asking her questions. "He seems to be a Burmese mountain dog mix, though it's hard to pinpoint for sure.” She confirms what I already suspected regarding the injuries and lack of nourishment, letting us know, “He should make a full recovery. Whose dog is it?"
"It's ours," Posie declares.
"Now, wait a minute," I interrupt with a shake of my head. “We didn’t agree to this.”
"It has to be,” she tells me, adding that she doesn’t have a yard. Again, she plays me. Coming over to grip my hand tightly. "Please, Robbie, you saved him. You can't abandon him now."
Fuck me, here we go once more. "Fine." I give in easily. It’s scary the control she has over me.
"He'll need to stay overnight to receive fluids, so you can pick him up tomorrow. I'll give you a prescription and a list of items you'll need for him." Then July smiles at Posie, letting me know, "And I think she needs to be dropped off at school before someone gets worried."
"You heard her, Posie. Say goodbye to Princess, and I'll drop you off." She groans, then does as I say, giving July a chance to pull me aside to speak in private.
"You want to tell me how this happened?" She asks. I don’t blame her for wondering how the hell this all came to be. I let her know it’s a long story, she stares at me like she’s examining me under a microscope, making me uncomfortable. When she attempts to touch my arm, I instinctively flinch, which has her giving me a sympathetic look. "Listen, if you ever need any help, Wes knows people. So does Cobi. Our family has enough military personnel in it to understand what you're going through."
I appreciate her concern, but inform her, “I don't need help." I regret my tone, though she doesn’t seem offended by it. Instead, she tells me to think about it, then waves bye to Posie.
"Come on, kid. We need to get you back." She gives Princess one last kiss before joining me, which is when she confesses her class is at the greenhouse for a field trip. "So you just woke up today and decided to commit dognapping?"
"No. I’ve wanted to do this for weeks," she admits with zero remorse.
"You did a good thing,” I let her know. “No one deserves to be mistreated."
"Especially my mom," she mumbles, she was quiet but I heard it. It starts a whole lot of questions running through my head. Who is her mom? Where is her dad? Does she have a stable family life? Or does she hide under the table with a shitty old blanket starving? Memories of my own childhood comes flashing forward. I squash it instantly. She obviously has a decent home. Her clothes look new, and her hair is tied up with care, with a lovely pink bow holding up her mass of curls, and she looks well fed, I shouldn’t worry so much.
A few short minutes later, I park outside the greenhouse which happens to be across the street from the hardware store. "You skip often?"
"Sometimes,” she answers. “I don't get along with some of the kids, and I get bored easily."
I chuckle at that. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" I help her out, then thank her for the adventure as I hold her backpack out for her to slide her arms in.
“Hey. Don’t worry about the other kids. They can be assholes, and you’re better. Always.”
She smiles and nods her head. "I'll see you later, Robbie," she states, giving me an unexpected hug. I'm so shocked by the contact that I don’t even have a chance to panic. In fact it makes me smile. How is that even possible? She's already a few feet away when her words hit me.
"Later?" I call out before she disappears inside the building.
"We share Princess now," she reminds me as she opens the door and walks in. What the fuck just happened? I’m dazed and confused, like I’m waking from a dream, but I can’t deny this is the best I've felt in a long time, and I think I’ve said that more than once recently. What the hell has that little angel done to me? Whatever it is it’s making the thought of seeing her again smile, and looking forward to it. And I haven’t looked forward to something in a long time.