Sassy Cowgirl Kisses by Kathy Fawcett

Chapter 48

Sassy sat on a haybale off to the sidelines—her self-imposed normal. She was used to laying low at obligatory gatherings, and avoiding the ones she could.

“Why bring attention to myself,” she’d say to her perplexed parents by way of explanation.

“Why sit at home instead of enjoying life?” Her mother would counter.

She was beginning to think there was a grain of truth to what her mother said. Maybe she had sat at home too much, out of the fear of standing out. Maybe there was such a thing as being too comfortable with being anonymous. She’d missed out on a lot.

But getting involved with Ash was a miscalculation.

An overcorrection.

Initially, she thought he was a means to an end… a way into the front door of West Ranch, and a conversation with the family. Thanks to Gunnar, she could check that off her list and move to the next step. So, the boy wasn’t necessary.

“But he’s gorgeous, and he makes me feel… what?” Sassy mumbled to herself as she watched him on the dance floor with Amber. “He makes me feel.”

Amber, Sassy assumed, was gloating at the turn of events and unexpected invitation. Watching the girl arrive with Ash, getting out of his Jeep like Cinderella at the ball, felt like a dagger twisting in Sassy’s flesh. She wanted to run far and fast, but stupidly, she’d caught a ride to the party with Freda and Eric. Nobody would be heading back to town for hours.

Ash wore a faded denim shirt that looked spray-painted onto his torso. With the pearl snaps undone at the cuffs and his sleeves rolled up, Sassy could see the tanned arms that just about drove her crazy. Those arms had pulled her close for more than one lingering kiss. She’d caressed them, marveling at how capably they wrapped around her, yet how gently they brushed stray curls from her face.

Sassy felt sick to her stomach watching those same arms hold Amber, and she wanted to cry. But under that denim shirt of Ash’s beat a stubborn heart; a heart too set in its ways for such a young man.

“I just needed more time, Ash,” Sassy said miserably, under her breath, “to give you the answers you’re looking for.”

The answers Amber already has, no doubt.

She forced herself to look away, and caught Freda smiling and dancing with Erik Olsen and having a great time. It should have been she and Ash. Would have been, but for the things weighing them down—his crazy expectations, and her bombshell of a secret.

So instead of spending the day anticipating a moonlight dance with Ash West, Sassy poured her energy into helping Freda get ready for the party. They chose the perfect dress, then Sassy meticulously blew out Freda’s damp hair with a dryer and brush so her butterscotch highlights would swing with life as Erik turned her this way and that.

The efforts paid off. Freda was the prettiest girl at the party, and Sassy tried to let that be satisfaction enough—it might have been, but for the pain of watching Ash with his date.

Sassy brushed a tear off her cheek, and wondered if this was how it was supposed to be. Maybe Ash was meant to be with Amber after college, and she had only upset the apple cart when she arrived at the ranch, like a time traveler who steps on a tiny ant and throws history out of whack forever.

But things were being set to rights now, Sassy thought, as she watched Amber in her cowboy’s arms. Order was being restored. Because she was always going to leave Wyoming at the summer’s end… wasn’t she?

“Care to dance?” Looking up, she saw one of the young ranch hands, Wayne, standing next to her with his hand outstretched. Sassy wanted to say no, but appreciated the courage it took to approach her this way.

“Yes, thank you Wayne,” Sassy said as she stood. The band began playing a boot-scootin’ boogie number that kept them dancing apart, to Sassy’s relief. She smiled at Wayne and put some unfelt energy into pretending to have fun.

It was almost fun, dancing under the star-filled Wyoming sky on a balmy summer night. When the song stopped, the dancers applauded the band and waited for the next number. Sassy wondered if it was too soon to excuse herself, but the bandleader spoke.

“We’re going to slow things down for all you sweethearts out there,” he said with the first notes of what could only be a romantic tune about moonlight and fireflies. Sassy cringed inside and was about to beg off when a man’s hand appeared on Wayne’s shoulder.

“Mind if I cut in, man?” Ash offered a handshake to her dance partner.

Wayne tipped his hat to Sassy, and she nodded with a weak smile. Heart hurting at the sight of Ash West, she took a step backwards, away from him. But he reached out and gently pulled her towards him.

“Please dance with me, Sassy,” Ash whispered when she resisted.

Not wanting to embarrass him at his family’s party or make a scene, Sassy slowly walked into Ash’s arms, placing her hands loosely and reluctantly on his broad shoulders.

Ash wasn’t having any of her reticence.

He reached up and took one of her limp hands in his own, and tucked it tight against his chest. Then he took his other hand and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close.

Sassy frowned. It was what she wanted, but not like this.

“Ash… I…”

She stiffened as he drew her body towards his own, but it was in vain. The warmth radiating from his hands and body melted her. Sassy’s broken heart raced as she turned her head to look over his shoulder.

Don’t look in his eyes,she told herself. And do not cry.

“Sass…” Ash moaned miserably into her hair, burying his face. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pressed you so hard, or demanded answers from you. I had no right.”

He squeezed her hard and she felt as though he was squeezing unbidden tears to roll down her face. Sassy’s throat felt hot and dry, with a painful lump where her words were supposed to be.

“Can you forgive me, Sass?”

Turning just a bit towards him, she was hit with the musky scent of the bare skin on his neck, and in spite of the way it surprised her, it smelled like home. Wherever that scent was, and the heat and strength from those arms, that’s where Sassy wanted to be.

The tears pooling in her eyes were hot, and were about to fall, right there in front of God, the Wests and everybody—at a party where others were laughing and having a great old time. She had no choice but to bury her face in Ash’s collar to hide her emotions. He must have felt her tears and her quivering because he held on tight and pulled her closer, dancing her slowly to a dark corner of the parquet floor and away from view.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he crooned as he gently kissed the side of her face.

Sassy sobbed.

She cried out of relief to be back in Ash’s arms, though the same obstacles remained. She cried out of sadness at losing her father, and because the weight of the secret he’d saddled her with was too great. She cried at Kat’s coldness towards her, and at her mother’s shallow grief—Sugar’s heart should be shattered at the loss of Jack. And Sassy cried at the thought of returning home, only to find home to be a cold apartment. Her own childhood house likely sold and demolished.

She never felt so alone. Sassy wanted Ash to kiss her; kiss the hurts away forever and never stop. But was this a pity dance? Was he simply being a good host, making sure everyone had a good time?

Minutes later, after two more slow songs, Sassy was finally able to breathe deeply and get her emotions in check. Pulling her face from Ash’s neck, she got the courage to look into his eyes and tell him the thing that lay like a stone between them.

“Ash,” she began quietly, “there’s something you ought to know.”

But before she could say any more, Freda’s surprised voice cut across the dance floor and stopped her cold.

“James Timothy,” Freda exclaimed. “What the hey howdy are you doing here?”