Sassy Cowgirl Kisses by Kathy Fawcett
Chapter 54
At #22, Kat glared at the package on the table for a long time, the one Sassy brought at their father’s request. She’d been angry with him for most of her life, but now he was dead. What was the point in being angry with a dead man?
Giving her head a little shake, Kat reached across the table and drew it closer. It just fit inside her hand, and could be anything—a signed baseball, or a wad of money.
Open it, she told herself, but frowned at the thought. If she did, what would that mean? Did it mean that she was finally ready to forgive him and move on? Kat liked to control her own narrative, thank you very much, and discovering that she had a surprise sister, who traveled to Wyoming to deliver a surprise package, was two surprises too many.
But there the package sat.
“All right, Jack,” Kat said out loud, tearing a tiny piece of the tape off the brown paper wrapper. “Let’s see what you sent to make up for being a louse.”
The box under the wrapping paper didn’t give any additional clues.
When Kat took the lid off, she saw a folded envelope on top of a man’s wristwatch. She set the envelope aside and took the watch out. It was Jack’s all right, she’d know it anywhere. It had been a gift to Jack from her mother on the day Kat was born.
The inscription on the back read:
With Love, On Your First Father’s Day
For years, Kat would bring it to her dad every morning as he got dressed for work, happy to breath in the steam emanating from the shower. It smelled of his spicy aftershave cologne. As she curled up under the unmade blankets, her father buttoned his starched shirt, threaded his cufflinks, and tied his tie.
“This here is a Windsor knot, kitty Kat,” he’d tell her. “Over, around, down through the tunnel, and pull.”
Some mornings he’d mix things us.
“I’m feeling lucky today, kitty Kat, let’s do a double Windsor—around, around, over, down through the tunnel.” For a brief moment, Kat wondered if her father wore a double Windsor the day Sassy’s mother, Sugar, walked into the car dealership and stole him away. But Kat shook her head and the flash of anger dissipated.
After a spray of his cologne, Jack would slip on his wedding ring, and slide the watch onto his left wrist. He’d sit down by Kat then and patiently watch as she clasped the buckle with her pudgy baby hands.
“Well done, kitty Kat,” he’d say, and give her cheek a kiss. “Now, what time is it?”
Together they’d look at his watch, and she’d answer.
“Time to go to work, Daddy.”
Then one day, Kat remembered clearly, she no longer wanted to sit and watch the tie act, or help him with his watch. She was too cool, she thought; too old for the childish rituals, or being called kitty Kat.
“I’m just Kat,” she snarked with an adolescent edge.
“Oh, okay,” he said in surprise. The fact that he tried to hide his hurt at her snub was like a closed-fisted punch to her heart; one she could almost still feel. But if every irritable teenaged girl was found guilty and sentenced to abandonment by her parents, the world would be full of orphans, Kat knew.
She couldn’t imagine Willow ever being so cold to Gunnar, but it was inevitable that they would face challenges. Thankfully, they had a ways to go.
Gingerly, she set the watch down and reached inside the envelope for the folded single sheet of paper, smoothing out the creases.
Kitty Kat, I am sorry for leaving you. More than you’ll ever know. The worst thoughts you’ve had about me, all deserved, can’t touch the way I’ve despised my actions – I was a different man while married to Trudy, but I should have been a better man for you, sweetheart. I can’t give you back the time we lost but I never stopped loving you, or being proud of you. Your mother asked me to stay away and I respected that. She didn’t want me to come in and out of your life, which is what I would have done. Upon reflection, here at the end of it all, I wish I’d fought harder for you, daughter. Kat, please be kind to your sister. I don’t deserve this favor, but she does. She is innocent, same as you. One last thing. I set aside a sizable fund for your mother. My attorney will be contacting her to apprise her of this – it will allow her to retire in comfort. Ask her to not be too proud to accept it. I suspect you would not have wanted my money after all this time. You might have thought I was trying to buy your forgiveness. Forgive me, please, in your own time, but only for your sake. While my façade has been shiny and polished, my soul has been miserable and tormented. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, least of all my sweet and lovely Kitty Kat.
— Daddy
Daddy.
At seeing her father’s handwriting and words after so many years, Kat allowed herself to cry at all she’d lost. An old bitterness threatened to churn in her stomach again, until she remembered Gunnar’s words ringing in her head.
“As an infectious disease doctor, you understand contagion, Kat,” he said. “Hate and bitterness are as destructive as viruses, and they can do just as much damage.”
He went on to say that he didn’t want her to pass this sickness along to their marriage, and to their little daughter.
“Lay it down, Sheriff,” Gunnar implored. “If it’s bad blood, then let it go.”