Blinded By Love by Reana Malori

Chapter 18

Norah

I didn’t wait for Cade to let me out of the car. Jumping out from the other side, I stomped to the front door of the house. Now, imagine doing this while wearing five-inch heels. It was an accomplishment on its own, but throw in four glasses of champagne, hardly any food in my stomach, and an urge to slap someone. Yeah, I was on a tear. Behind me, I heard Cade thanking our driver and coming up the walkway behind me; his gait just a bit slower.

He could be pissed all he wanted. I was well within my rights to be all up in my feelings. But even as I wanted to snatch her bald, I played my part. I knew the mission and I completed it.

Play nice.

Smile big.

Laugh at the right times.

Make Cade look good. Stand by his side.

Help other people see how amazing he was.

If I do say so myself, I was fucking fantastic tonight. To his credit, Cade didn’t leave my side. As soon as the snide little Sylvia Martin made her comment and rushed off, we were approached by a beautiful dark-skinned woman. The wife of Stefano Indellicati. She introduced herself as Adele… just Adele. She didn’t go for all that pomp and circumstance. Her words, not mine.

Cade greeted her warmly and introduced me. A huge smile came over her face and she leaned in slightly. “So, you’re the one Cade always had to rush home to. Good, because that means Stefano’s taken to coming home once they finish meetings or calls or whatever. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

I’d looked over at Cade to see him smirking down at me. Maybe he thought since Adele knew about me, or knew of the theoretical me, that it would make up for that rude ass woman. Okay, so sue me… my frustration did go down a notch. When Adele’s attractive husband walked over to us, I could feel Cade pull me closer to him.

Not that the man was paying me any attention. Based on how he was looking at his beautiful wife, he clearly only had eyes for her. Respect.

Although the night ended up being very good for Cade due to the connections he made, I couldn’t help but feel eyes on me all night. When I’d look around, it was usually that damn Sylvia and a group of other women huddled together like a gaggle of geese. When it came time for us to leave, I almost ran out of that building, but not before Adele made me promise to go out to brunch with her and some of the other wives of the owners. She said they were like family and with how much Cade was working with her husband, she wanted to make sure I felt welcome.

Now we were home. Let me change that. Now that we were back at Cade’s house, all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Alone.

Why am I mad at him?

I have no fucking clue.

But that woman and her snide comment and sly looks brought up all my insecurities about my role in Cade’s life. It was enough to make me re-evaluate everything. How many other people would question why his late wife’s best friend was the woman he was bringing to events? How many other people would look at us with disdain, as if were doing something wrong?

Opening the door to the house, I took off my heels as soon as I stepped inside. It was almost ten-thirty, and I was positive Lilly was asleep. I stepped into the family room and found Stacy lying down on the couch. I lightly tapped her shoulder, just enough not to startle her. I did my best to give her a smile. I’m not sure how well I did, but she was half-sleep, so it didn’t matter in the long run.

“Oh, hi, Ms. James. I didn’t expect you back so soon,” the teen said, wiping her eyes and standing.

“We finished just a bit early. How was Lilly tonight?”

She gathered her backpack, placing it over her shoulder. “Perfect. She’s always so easy to babysit.”

“Good,” Cade stepped into the room. “Thanks again, Stacy.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to the girl. “I’ll watch from the door as you walk home.”

He always did that when she watched Lilly for us. Maybe it was an added bit of security, and yes, she was almost a senior in high school, but that’s what made Cade so different to me. The man was a protector. Stacy was part of our circle. She protected our daughter… his daughter, so Cade made sure to keep a watchful eye on her.

“Night, Stacy. Thank you again.”

Once she stepped over the threshold, she waved. “You’re welcome. Have a good night.”

I refused to stick around, so I started making my way up the stairs. Yes, I was avoiding Cade. I didn’t feel like examining the emotions coursing through me. During the entire ride home, I was silent, even as Cade tried to talk to me. He knew things weren’t right. Not the type of man to let things linger, I knew he’d be following me. Hashing it out was his thing and while I usually had no problem going toe-to-toe with him, I wasn’t in a good head space tonight.

Maybe I’d been fooling myself, thinking we could make this worse. Perhaps I’d been living a fantasy this whole time, wishing for a life that wasn’t meant to be mine. Either way, I was done. It hurt too much to think I was a stand-in.

When would it be my turn?

When would I be picked first, above all others?

God, I was pathetic. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes and tried to wipe them away before they fell.

“Norah!”

My feet sped up, practically tripping up the stairs as I rushed to my bedroom. If I closed the door in his face, maybe he’d get the message. Not tonight. I could hear him coming up the steps behind me. I panicked, a loud squeak coming out as I tried to move faster than he did.

Just as I made it into the room and tried to close the door, he pressed his large hand against the wood, stopping it from slamming in his face. “What the fuck, Norah? We’re slamming doors now?”

“Go away, Cade. I’m not in the mood.”

He stepped inside the room, and I watched as he slowly closed the door. Cade stared at me for a moment, he shook his head and began to remove his bowtie. “Fine. You’re pissed about something. I get it. But we don’t shut each other out, Norah. That’s not how we do things. If you’re upset about something, we talk about it.” Removing his tie, he then unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it free of his tuxedo pants.

I stood on the other side of the room, hands on my hips. “What are you doing?”

He smirked at me. “What does it look like? I’m getting ready for bed.”

Was he crazy? This wasn’t happening tonight. “No, you’re not. Sleep in your own bed.”

He sat down on the settee at the end of the bed, glancing over his shoulder. “This is my bed. My bed with you. We haven’t slept apart since that first night and I’m sure as hell not starting tonight.”

“I told you I’m not in the mood.” I’d never slept next to him without having him inside me, making love to me, whispering words of seduction in my ear. No, he had to leave. If he didn’t, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep my resolve.

“You don’t have to be in the mood. I can sleep next to you without fucking you, Norah, but I’ll be damned if I sleep in a different bed unable to hold you in my arms.” Standing, he removed the rest of his clothes, leaving only his black boxers. As he walked into the bathroom, I heard him brush his teeth. The whole time, I stood in that same spot, wondering at what game he was playing.

When he came out of the bathroom, he glanced over at me, before lifting one eyebrow. “Need some help getting undressed?”

“No,” I practically yelled. “Okay, yes. Can you unzip my dress?”

“Of course.” When he stood behind me, I could feel his breath on my neck. “You were amazing tonight. I don’t know what I did to piss you off, but I wish you’d talk to me.” Unzipping my dress, he stepped back. “Anything else?”

“No. I’m fine.” Where was this anger toward him coming from? Maybe it was nothing and everything all at once. We’d started sleeping together a month ago, and being a full-blown relationship was everything I’d dreamed of. He was attentive, he brought me flowers, and watched my shows with me, even as he grumbled the whole time. He was nothing like I expected but everything I wanted and needed in my life.

Maybe that was the problem, I thought, looking over at Cade as he climbed into the bed. Had I been pining over my best friend’s husband for all these years? I didn’t think I had, but now I was questioning everything. When that woman questioned me and gave me that disparaging look, that feeling of being a fraud came roaring back.

I wanted Cade to want to be with me because I was me. Not because I was Lilly’s godmother or because his late wife said we should be together. He needed to choose me because of who I was and what I meant to him. When we’re together, I want to be the only woman he thought about. Was that selfish of me? Probably. But no woman wants to feel like a second choice.

After I had finished brushing my teeth, I walked out of the bathroom, turning off the light behind me. Cade looked up from his phone to watch me.

“Are we gonna talk about what’s wrong with you tonight?”

Taking a deep sigh, I looked at him. His chest was bare, his arms thick and muscular. His dark beard trimmed, and I knew what I had to do. I chose violence.

“I’m not anyone’s second choice, Cade.”

He reared up, his eyes spitting fire, and his brow creased. “What the fuck does that mean, Norah?”

“I know you had a whole life before me. A wife. A daughter. You were happy. Doesn’t matter that I saw you first. You chose her and I’m happy for you. But it feels like we’re just playing house to pass the time. That I’m here with you because it’s convenient, not because I’m the one you chose.”

There I said it. I was practically hyperventilating but I got the words out. Not gonna lie, I knew those four glasses of champagne gave me some liquid courage, but that’s just how the cookie crumbles. Would I have told him how I felt without the alcohol? Maybe not tonight, but I knew these feelings were bubbling up inside me, and that woman at the party only accelerated things. They had to come out or else I was going to lose my shit.

Cade flipped the covers and got out of the bed, stalking over to me. “You think I’m here with you because you’re convenient?” When I said nothing, he grabbed my chin in one of his hands, forcing my face up to his. “Answer me.”

“I don’t know.”

Sighing, he grabbed one of my hands and pressed it against his thickening member. “Do you think I’m this hot for you because I don’t want you? That I haven’t dreamt about you almost every night for too damn long to count? Do you know how many chances I’ve had to scratch my itch with other women? They’re coming out of every nook and cranny. None of them were able to get a reaction out of me. None of them. Only you. Every time you strolled your sexy ass in this house, taking over as if you belonged here, torturing me with your scent. I wanted to fuck you over every surface in this house, but I held back, respecting your boundaries. No, baby. I don’t want you because you’re convenient. I want you because you’ve always been mine. I didn’t see it all those years ago and I’d probably still be blind to what’s between us if Rebecca had lived. But she’s gone and I have a second chance. I’m not losing you because you can’t see how much I want you. How much I need you in my life. If you want to be pissed at me because of some woman who means nothing to me questioning your role in my life, that’s your choice. But while you’re pissed at me, know that I’m still not going to let you go. I’m going to sleep in that bed next to you every fucking night. You’re going to be pressed up against me as I hold you close, thanking my fucking stars that you want me just as much as I want you.” Leaning down, he brushed a light kiss on my lips, neck, and shoulder. “Now, get your ass in that bed so I can fuck you to sleep.”

My panties were wet. My nipples were hard. My channel clenched in need. Well fuck, were we about to have make-up sex?