Blinded By Love by Reana Malori

Chapter 20

Norah

We were lounging on the couch, Lilly between us, as we relaxed after returning from the park. “Lilly, you’re getting better every time. Pretty soon, I won’t be able to keep up with you.”

“Thanks, auntie Norah. Can we have ice cream tonight after dinner?”

The doorbell rang and Cade got up from the couch and walked to the front of the house. Pretty soon, she heard voices coming through. I recognized the woman’s voice and my entire body froze like a deer in headlights.

Rebecca’s mother.

What the fuck

“Lilly, your grandmother’s here,” Cade called out.

I held my breath as the scene unfolded in front of me. I’d always gotten along with Mrs. Spencer, but I had no idea how to respond to her today. Did I act as if everything was still the same? I mean, I’d spent just as much time at her house as my own. As the silver-haired woman walked in, her eyes landed on Lilly first.

“Lilly! You’ve gotten so big. I’ve missed you.” Mrs. Spencer opened her arms to her granddaughter, gathering the little girl close. “How’s school going? Are you ready for the summer?”

I couldn’t help but smile at their interaction. Cade walked behind them before coming to stand next to me. When he moved to take my hand, I shifted away. I wasn’t rejecting him, but from the look in his eyes, you wouldn’t know it. It was difficult to understand why I was feeling this way, but he had to know that this wasn’t the best way to let his ex-mother-in-law know that he’d moved on and started a new relationship.

“Hi, Mrs. Spencer,” I finally called out.

Lifting her head, she smiled at me. Then taking note of how close Cade and I were standing, her head tilted as she looked between us. For a moment, I saw her lips thin, and her eyes squinted in what appeared to be anger. Then the look was gone, and she pasted a smile on her face. “Hey, Norah. It’s good to see you again. How have you been?”

So, maybe this wouldn’t be as painful as I thought. “I’m okay. Still adjusting.”

The older woman nodded. “Hmmm. Yes, aren’t we all. It’s still hard to believe I can’t pick up the phone and call her.”

“Me too.” I could hear the warble in my voice. Clearing my throat, I smiled for the sake of Lilly, who was watching us with curious eyes. “Is Mr. Spencer coming as well?”

Shaking her head, she walked further into the room. “Not today. He’s tired from the drive. I told him I’d just do a quick pop-up to see this little lady here, and then I’d be back. We’re here for the next two weeks, so there’s going to be plenty of time for us to drive you both crazy.”

“Grandma, do you want to see my drawings? I made some of mommy.”

Mrs. Spencer nodded at Lilly. “I sure do. Lead the way.” Placing her purse on a chair, she allowed herself to be pulled into the family room. Before she left, she paused for a moment to look at me and Cade. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything. Maybe I should have called before I arrived.”

“No. You didn’t interrupt anything,” Cade responded for us. I glanced at him and saw that his brow was still furrowed, probably in frustration with me. But I didn’t care if he was upset. This was not the way to tell Mrs. Spencer that he and I were in a relationship… or whatever this was.

“Good. Good.” She patted my arm and smiled at me. A genuine smile this time. “It really is good to see you again, Norah.”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m glad you’re here. I know Lilly is so happy that she can spend time with you.”

As Cade and I watched the two of them walk away, I opened my mouth to broach the subject, but he beat me to it.

“What the fuck, Norah?”

I shrugged. “I’m not telling her that way. She deserves more respect than that. I was her daughter’s best friend for more than twenty-five years.”

He turned to look down at me, crossing his large arms over his chest. “Is this how it’s going to be all the time? You’re just going to be too scared and ashamed to tell people we’re together? I get it. Behind closed doors, we can be a couple, pretend to be a family. But in public, you pull away from me. Deny what we are to each other?”

Shaking my head, I stepped away. How dare he? “I never said that. She’s your late wife’s mother. She’s a woman who invited me into her home. I stood next to her daughter when she married you, pledged her life to you while you did the same. But now that she’s gone, I just happen to slide into the spot in your life she left vacant?” My voice was low because I didn’t want Mrs. Spencer to hear us, but my clipped tone made my displeasure known. “Don’t be cruel to a woman still dealing with the loss of her only child. That’s not fair to her. You can frown down at me all you want, but it won’t change how I feel.”

Sighing, I looked at him one last time. “You’ve asked me to accept what we have, and I do. I never want to be without you again. I know that now. But I won’t hurt the people who’ve meant so much to me over the years. You can’t ask me to do that.”

Cade ran a hand down his face as he took a deep breath. “Norah.” He said my name as if it were a plea.

On the one hand, I knew what he was going through, but I had to do this my way. It was the only way I could truly feel comfortable. “Just let me tell her on my own. I’m not going to throw our relationship in her face.”

“I don’t like it. She knows I loved her daughter. Elizabeth is here to see her granddaughter. Me being in a relationship with you shouldn’t matter.”

And the fact that he called her Elizabeth while I still called her Mrs. Spencer told me everything I needed to know. His relationship with Rebecca’s mother was on a different level than mine. I also knew that I was probably giving her more leverage over my life, and his, than was warranted. At thirty-one years old, not even my own mother could tell me how to live my life. Glancing over my shoulder, I mumbled. “It shouldn’t, but it does.” Turning back to him, I tried again. “Give me today.”

“Fine. You have three hours. I’m not going to spend the entire day not touching you or kissing you. Don’t try to hide me, Norah. That’s not something I’m okay with. It’s time for you to decide if you want this relationship more than your fear about what others will say.”

Nodding, I walked into the family room where Mrs. Spencer… Elizabeth and Lilly were sitting on the couch looking at drawings. “She’s really good,” I interjected. “Every day, she has a new picture for us.”

Lifting her gaze to mine, Elizabeth nodded. “She gets it from her mother.” She lifted a finger to wipe below her eyes. I’m sure seeing her granddaughter brought up so many emotions. “Cade told me he asked you to come back and live with them full-time. He said he was having a hard time with Lilly. You’ve been here about five months now?”

Nodding, I tried to stop my hands from shaking. Maybe this was the actual test of how I felt about Cade. Was I ashamed of the relationship we were building? Did I still worry people would think what we were doing was inappropriate? It wasn’t, but that didn’t stop the feeling of doubt coursing through my veins.

“Yes, just about five months now. I wasn’t sure how it would work out. My life was in Baltimore for so many years, but with my job, I can work from anywhere.”

Elizabeth looked down at Lilly, who was drawing another picture for them. “She seems to be doing much better. Her beautiful smiles show up more. When we’re on our weekly video calls, she talks about her mom without going silent. She’ll just bring up a story or a fact about her mother that I never thought she knew.”

Capturing the older woman’s gaze, I sat a little taller. Maybe this was my moment. “I want to make sure she knows all the things about Rebecca that will help her feel connected to her mother. All the memories I have from the time we were seven years old. I want to share them with Lilly, so she knows just how amazing and wonderful her mother was. For as long as I’m around, she’ll never forget her mother. She’ll know the amazing person I grew up with, laughed with, cried with. It’s important that she knows who her mother truly was.”

For a moment, the room was silent, other than the mumblings of Lilly as she talked to herself while drawing.

“How long do you plan to stay?”

Stay in the house? Stay around Lilly? Stay where…? I wasn’t sure which question she was asking, so I scrambled for the correct response.

The older woman’s eyebrows raised as she looked at me with a question on her face.

“Stay?” I repeated.

After staring at me for a few seconds, she smirked before continuing. “I know the plan was for you to stay here with Cade and Lilly for six months and that time is almost up. Will you be leaving? Going back to Baltimore and the life you built there?”

I didn’t have an answer for her. Only because I hadn’t really fleshed out the plan of what would happen. Cade assumed I would be here for good. He’d said multiple times that this was my home, that this was our home. I didn’t want to leave him or Lilly, but if we were to try and make a go of it, could I live in this house? Eventually, he’d want to go back to his own bedroom. Could I make love to him in the same bed where he’d slept with Rebecca? Those answers would have to come another day, but I did know one thing.

“I’m not leaving Lilly. I love her as if she were my own daughter. Rebecca and I talked about what would happen after… after…” pausing, I took a moment to pull myself together. “We talked about what she wanted for Lilly’s future. I plan to give that to her.”

Nodding, she stared at me silently, with eyes that reminded me of my best friend. “So, you’re staying for the long haul. With Lilly?”

“Yes.”

“With Cade?”

There was malice in her voice, but I knew what she was asking. She’d have to be blind to not see how we interacted with each other in just those few minutes when she arrived. “Would it concern you if I said yes?”

Holding my breath, I waited for her to respond. She looked around the house, her eyes landing on the family picture of Cade, Rebecca, and Lilly.

“Should I be concerned, Norah?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“My daughter loved her husband.”

Nodding, I agreed. “She did, and he loved her. Still does. That won’t change. She’ll always be in his heart. She’s the mother of his child. They built a life together.”

Elizabeth ran her hand down the back of Lilly’s head. “Lilly? Can you ask your dad to help you get a glass of juice for your grandmother?”

“Yes, Grandma. I’ll be back!”

Once she left the room, Elizabeth turned back to me. “I wasn’t sure about Rebecca’s plan when she first mentioned it to me.”

My jaw dropped. Was Rebecca manipulating everyone this entire time? “Rebecca’s plan?”

The other woman nodded. “She talked to me about her need to make sure Cade and Lilly were taken care of. She also said she had some… regrets… about how things happened years ago. I’m not sure what she meant by that, she never told me the whole story. Do you know what she meant by regrets?”

Still in a state of semi-shock, I nodded. “Yes, I do.”

Laughing, Elizabeth tilted her head back. “Robert told me that our daughter knew what she was doing. That it wasn’t up to us, but it was hard to accept what she felt was the right thing. When you left and only returned on the weekends to see Lilly, I thought the plan had failed since you were too focused on your own life to try and create a new one as a mother to a child who wasn’t yours.” Her eyes looked calculating, as if assessing me. “To fall in love with a man who had been in love with someone else.”

Standing quickly from the chair, I felt the need to walk away and deny her words. I didn’t want to have this conversation with her. The accusations would come and that would be too difficult for me to hear. “No. I mean, yes. I love Lilly. But Cade and I… um… we’re…”

Rising from the couch, Elizabeth walked over to me. She grabbed me by the arms, “It’s okay, Norah. I know you love Lilly. I know you loved my daughter like a sister. You were sisters in every way that counts, other than parentage. And I know you love Cade.” She stared into my eyes. “Oh, you haven’t told him yet?”

Dropping my head in defeat, a pained whisper broke free. “No.”

Releasing my arms from her grasp, she stepped back. “This won’t do at all. It’s time you two stop fighting this thing between you. This is now your life to live. Stop waiting for approval, or rejection If you’re waiting for my blessing, which you shouldn’t be, you have it. It’s okay for you to have happiness, even if Rebecca isn’t here to enjoy it with you.” Patting me on the hand, she walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Well, damn. Seems like I’m the only one who didn’t know what Rebecca had planned for me and my future. As I stood by myself thinking of everything that had happened in the last year, I couldn’t help the laughter bubbling up. Even in death, my best friend was bossy as hell. “Fine, Rebecca. Message received.”