Perceive by K E Osborn

 

 

AXEL

 

Leaving the guys was hard.

But times change.

People change.

And with those changes, we move on. We have to. And so, after a month, memories and winding up with the team, Kenzi and I did what we needed to do for us to grieve properly. We came home to our other family.

The club is going to be our home now. The transition from living at the cul-de-sac commune to a clubhouse again is going to take some getting used to. But I know I can do it. It’s whether Kenzi feels safe here after everything Hendrix lied to her about us, and whether any of that has tainted her mind.

She knows her truth.

That her flashbacks aren’t about the club—there’s no way they can be.

We all love her too much.

And in the time she has spent here, she’s come to know these brothers, the members of the club, to be her family. She might not remember them, but the bond is still there.

It always has been.

As we ride through the open clubhouse gates, everyone surrounds us, greeting us. The welcome home one of love and support. I know I needed it, but I’m sure this show of attention is just as amazing for Kenzi too, from her old, but also new, family.

We slide off my ride, Mom and Dad the first to embrace Kenzi, welcoming her back into the fold. Dad gives me a knowing nod, one telling me it’s good to have me back home.

It’s fucking good to be here.

“C’mon everyone, let’s not crowd the poor loves after their long journey,” Mom scolds everyone.

I chuckle. Taking Kenzi’s hand, I lead her inside, then over to grab a much-needed drink from the long ride. As we sit at the bar, finally able to let our hair down, Ruin walks over slumping onto the seat next to me. He gestures to a club girl to pour him a beer, and I raise my brow at him. “Should you be drinking yet?”

He snorts. “You sound like Lily. She was riding my ass at the barbecue. I was shot. I’m recovering. A man needs some vices to get better, brother.”

I smirk. “Yeah… they’re called painkillers and antibiotics, not alcohol.”

He rolls his eyes. “Blow me, I’m doing fine. Might not be one hundred percent yet, but I can still run rings around you.”

Kenzi giggles beside me.

I side-eye her as she tries to hide her smirk. “Don’t encourage him, pretty girl,” I jest.

“Honestly, Axel, Ruin seems fine to me…” She shrugs. “I think you’re just trying to hide the fact you’re super worried about the big bear.”

“Hey!” Ruin and I both reply in unison.

“I’m not a big bear,” Ruin scalds.

“Don’t make Ruin think I care about him more than I need to. His head is big enough.”

Kenzi chuckles. “Seriously, you two are adorable.”

Ruin snorts. “Whose idea was it to bring her back? I want a refund. New Kenzi is calling us out,” he mocks with a smirk.

She grins. “You better get used to it ‘cause I’m gonna be around a lot more.”

Ruin’s smile is genuine, lighting up his face with a warmth I haven’t seen in him for a while. “And fuck if that isn’t just the best damn news I’ve heard all day, squirt.”

I scrunch my brows together as Kenzi tilts her head. “Squirt? Really? I’m a grown-ass woman!”

Ruin stands and walks to her. “You’ll always be the little girl who ran around here making my brother a fucking mess, so squirt it is.” He ruffles her hair as he walks past, making her laugh.

“Jesus Christ, living here is going to be hell, isn’t it?” Kenzi chuckles.

“The best kind of hell,” I reply.

“I can’t wait!”

Those three words fill me with so much fucking joy, I can’t sit still. Standing, I grab Kenzi’s hand, taking her with me. She widens her eyes as I pull her toward our room we’ll be sharing together.

“Axel… where are we going?”

Grinning from ear to ear, my feet can’t carry me fast enough. I was going to make a big deal out of this, get the entire club involved, but I simply can’t wait. Not a second longer. I need her to be mine, only mine, right fucking now.

Pushing our door back, I storm inside our room. The huge king bed sits proudly in the middle of the floor. Photographs of us when we were kids line the walls. She may not remember our past, but at least this way she can see it. It may never jog her memory, but having the memories there reinforces our bond. I had Mom bring some of Kenzi’s old things in here. Her baseball trophies line the shelves. Again, I know she doesn’t remember winning them, but they’re hers. I just wanted her to feel like this room, our room, is as much hers as it is mine.

She stops, taking everything in, her eyes glistening as she closes the door behind her. “You did all this… for me?”

“For us, baby. I want us to be happy here, together. If there’s anything here that’s too much or makes you feel sad, then I’ll take it out. I just want you to feel like this is as much for you as it is for me.”

She moves in, bringing her hand up, caressing my cheek. “You always make me feel good. Not judging me for not remembering. I’m so fucking sorry I can’t remember any of this for you. I want to, more than anything, Axel, but just being here, seeing our lives…” She sniffles. “I don’t have to remember because I can make new memories. Beautiful ones. With the people who I love and who love you. This all shows me just how much I meant to you… how much I do mean to you.”

I wrap my arms around her waist, my forehead pressing against hers tenderly. “You mean fucking everything, Kenzi. Always have… that’s why I want to give you something.”

Her eyes lock with mine, a sparkle of intrigue staring back at me. I lean in pressing my lips to hers briefly before pulling back and making my way to the closet. She stands back waiting patiently as I head over to where I know Mom has stashed the thing I told her to make for me a couple weeks back. I didn’t know when I would be needing it, but I know now is exactly the right time.

Opening the door, I slide the rack of clothing across to find the wooden slat at the back of the closet. I jostle it free, the slat falling loose in my grip revealing the hiding space. I slide my hand into the small enclosure and pull out a thin rectangular box. My heart rapid fires, my palms coat in sweat. I’ve seen many of my brothers before me do this, but when Kenzi was taken, I never thought I’d have this opportunity.

I always knew she was it for me.

My goal was always to find her.

To bring her back to me.

Then, when I did, only to find her memory of me wiped. It was like that part of me died all over again.

I’d given up hope.

I never thought I would get to this place, but it’s here, it is finally here, and honestly, I’ve never been more fucking nervous in my life. I’m a marksman. I’ve killed people. Shot them from miles away without flinching. I’ve taken down terrorists. Stopped wars from escalating. Hell, I’ve done things men can only dare to dream about, but this, this scares the living hell out of me because this means more than any of that shit combined. Making Kenzi mine officially is all my life has been about for the past six years.

Finding her. Bringing her home to me.

I loved her before she left.

With her leaving, that love had intensified into something probably unhealthy, but I couldn’t help it. She is all I will ever need, and I want to prove it to her.

“Axel?” Her hesitant voice breaks me from my rambling thoughts.

I turn to look at her, my shoulders forcing themselves back to fake the confidence I’m lacking right now. My eyes meet hers, and I warmly smile. Just seeing Kenzi gives me the strength I need. I walk over, carrying the box.

Her eyes shift down, and she narrows in on it. “What you got there?”

I chuckle, always so inquisitive. “Kenz, I know I’m throwing a lot at you at the moment. Us, the club, this whole new life—”

“I want this, Axel. I want you!”

I close my eyes briefly in relief. Hearing those words is everything.

“Axel… talk to me.”

I open my eyes with a new sense of purpose. Adrenaline surges through me, and the blood of my family pumps through my veins. “There are a couple more changes you’re gonna have to get used to being here, pretty girl.”

She nods. “Okay, hit me.”

“People here are gonna start calling me by my road name instead of Axel. You will need to as well when we’re in front of anyone outside of this room.”

She smiles. “Riot, right?”

She remembers.

“Yeah—”

“And the other thing?”

I place the box on the edge of the bed, pulling open the lid to reveal a leather cut. A property patch is clearly sewn onto the back. Her eyes widen as she smiles.

“You know what this is?”

She runs her hand along the cotton threads and smiles. “I think so. I mean, I don’t have any memory of it, but I’ve seen TV shows and read enough books to know this is a biker’s colors.”

I pull it out of the box holding it up, the patch facing her so she can see it in full detail. “Read what it says, Kenz.”

Her eyes drop to the intricate Malice MC patch, and I see it the second it clicks into place. “Property of Riot!” Her head snaps up to look at me, pure wonder in her eyes as she smiles so fucking wide. “Axel, does this mean… are you claiming me?”

“You understand what that means?”

She giggles. “I don’t know how, but yeah, I do…” Her eyes bug out of her head. “Shit! Is that something I remember? What claiming is?” Her breathing comes in fast and frantic as I pull her to me.

“I don’t know, but if you understand what it is, and the whole concept, then that can only be a good thing because Mackenzi Bordeaux, I’m claiming you as my Old Lady.”

She lets out a small, excited shriek, jumping into my arms. Her lips crashing against mine as I wrap my arms around her. Her property patch hanging loosely in my fingers as I embrace her. My tongue dances passionately with hers as she continues to kiss me. I walk us over to the bed, my cock growing harder by the second.

Everything has been leading to this moment.

Where Kenzi would officially be mine.

Now she is, the world finally feels like it’s on its right axis again. Like it’s finally turning in the right direction. Like I can finally let my guard down and relax.

Kenzi is my Old Lady.

I’m back where I belong.

And life doesn’t get any fucking better than this as I drop her onto the bed.

Time to really claim my Old Lady.

 

 

After spending the afternoon blissfully in bed with Kenzi, we figured we’d better make an appearance back out in the club. Kenzi slides on my property patch, and I smile at just how fucking great she looks. “You are so fucking sexy wearing that.”

She smiles up at me. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you this, but you look so fucking hot in leather.”

I tilt my head, waggling my brows at her. “Better than tactical gear?”

She giggles. “Oh, I like that too. Actually, I like you in anything, but I prefer you in nothing if I’m brutally honest.”

I chuckle, pulling her closer to me, her body flush against mine, making my cock hard for her again. “Fuck, Kenz, you make me crazy.”

She pushes me away from her, shaking her head. “No! No more sex, at least for the next few hours. We’ve only been here a little while, I need to go and be sociable.”

I let out a groan, knowing she’s right. “Fine, but tonight—”

“I’m all yours.”

With a smirk, I lean out smacking her ass as she walks for the door. She grabs the door handle, inhales deeply, then pulls it open and walks out. I follow as a round of cheering echoes from the main room. Kenzi turns back looking at me wide-eyed, and I shift my eyes to her patch. She nods in recognition that they’re cheering because of the property patch, not because of the three rounds of epic sex we’ve just had.

“You old dog,” Curtains calls out, racing up and slapping my back. “Congrats, Kenzi, welcome to the club officially. You can’t get rid of us now.”

I chuckle as Kenzi wraps her arm around me. “I wouldn’t want to. You’re all being so welcoming. I just… I feel a connection here…”

“Like you never left,” Mom ends her sentence for her as she walks up grabbing Kenzi from me.

Kenzi nods. “Exactly.”

Mom’s face fills with pride. “I’m stealing Kenzi for a little while, go make yourself useful. Us girls need some woman-to-woman down-to-earth business discussions.”

I raise my brow at her. “Jesus, Mom, Kenzi doesn’t need you telling her to treat me right or whatever bullshit you’re about to throw her wa—”

“Hush now, this is secret women’s business. Old ladies only…” She smiles down at Kenzi, pride radiating off her in waves. “I always knew this day would come for you two. I’m so glad I’m here to see it.”

Kenzi links her arm with Mom’s, and they walk off together while I shake my head. Poor Kenzi. Fuck knows what Mom has in store for her.

Dad walks over, grabbing me by the scruff of my cut and pulls me over to the bar. “Jesus, Dad, what the hell?” He shoves me onto a bar stool and taps the bar for a club girl to bring us a shot. I straighten out my cut as Dad plonks his ass down beside me. “You wanna tell me what the fuck you think you’re doing?”

I raise my brow. “What?”

“Giving Kenzi your property patch without talking it over with me first?”

I jerk my head back. “Didn’t know I had to seek your permission.”

Dad exhales. “Kid, Kenzi’s father was my best friend. You claiming her is a big fucking deal. You should have asked for permission, and seeing as her daddy is gone, you should’ve come to me to ask.”

I let out a laugh. “You’re fucking kidding me, right? Since when do bikers ask to claim their women? And anyway, Dad, this version of Kenzi, you know nothing about her. None of you do. I’m the one who knows her the best, so honestly, I’m the only one who could even make that kind of call.”

Dad smirks. “You’re protective over her.”

I furrow my brows. “Always have been.”

“No… something’s different… you’re in love with her, like head over fucking heels, balls to the wall, take a bullet and kill anything that tries to hurt her, in love with her.”

A slow smile crosses my face as I nod. “Yeah… balls to the wall, Dad.”

Dad picks up a shot that I hadn’t even noticed had been placed beside us at some point and raises it to me. I pick up the other and clink it to his. “Then here’s to you and Kenzi, son. May your relationship be loving, your kids be fucking bearable, and your sex life phenomenal.” He drinks it back quickly.

I shake my head as I drink mine. “Kids be bearable? Is that what you thought of Ruin and me?” I chuckle.

Dad laughs. “We had the rest on point, we just had to put up with you two shitheads. So yeah… bearable.”

I laugh, then I remember he said phenomenal sex, and a shudder runs down my spine. “Fuck, Dad, I don’t need to know all this about you and Mom.”

“Happy wife, happy life, kid.”

“Right… you think Kenz and I are headed for marriage?”

Dad scoffs. “I think you and Kenzi were destined to be together since you were five. If you guys don’t get married and have two point five kids, I’ll walk to Brisbane.”

I let out a laugh. “There’s kind of an ocean between us and Brisbane, Australia, Dad.”

“My point exactly. I can’t walk there, so you guys not making it isn’t on the cards.”

“She’s just so fucking kindhearted. She even made me promise to set Carlos up with his own place in DC, so he could live his best life. A guy who was working for fucking Hendrix of all people. She’s always looking out for everyone, you know?”

“Yeah, she hasn’t lost that part of her.” Dad taps the bar for another round as he exhales. “I just want to say, I’m proud of you, Riot. I know leaving The Agency wasn’t easy. Leaving your team behind is hard, but we’re here to support you. This is where you’ve always belonged. You went in there on a mission. You succeeded. Now it’s time to get on and live a happy life with your Old Lady by your side.”

I smile, loving the sound of that. “Thanks, Dad. For always sticking by me. For letting me go off and be a part of the SO7. For knowing I could and would bring her home.”

He slaps my back. “If anyone was going to, it was always going to be you, Axel.”

I exhale. “It wasn’t easy. We lost someone fucking good along the way.”

Dad hums under his breath. “I know…” He exhales, raising his drink. “To Eli.”

I raise my glass. “To Eli.”

We both throw back our drinks, the warm liquid burns all the way down, and as it does, memories of Eli flash into my mind. The giant of a man, always there to have my back. I grit my teeth as Dad slaps my back. “Keep ‘em coming,” Dad instructs as the club girl fills our glasses again.

We keep drinking, the buzz hitting me not long after. I’m not drunk, but I’m certainly not sober either. I think the need to relax and unwind is needed. Drinking while working for The Agency wasn’t something we did often because we were always on call and could be brought in on a moment’s notice. Here, though, I can unwind and just be.

Kenzi’s been gone for ages. I can’t help but wonder what the hell my mom’s been doing with her. Probably up to no good. I turn, feeling my head spin a little as I see Mom and Kenzi walking back out toward us.

Finally!

“Hey! Where you been? I’ve had time to drink myself stupid,” I call out making Mom and Kenzi laugh.

Kenzi slides into my side as Mom shakes her head. “I said keep him occupied, not get him drunk,” Mom berates Dad.

I spin back to Dad raising my brow. “What? You were a decoy?”

He chuckles. “Sorry, kid, but it looks like you needed to talk anyway, so I’m glad I was the decoy.”

I turn back to Mom, who’s now frowning. “Everything okay?”

“We were remembering Eli.”

Kenzi’s face falls as she nuzzles into me a little more, which is exactly what I need right now. “Well, hopefully, I have something that will make your day a little brighter.”

I raise my brow at her. “Oh?”

Kenzi glances at Mom, and her eyes meet mine. “Okay, so remember that time you came in and saw me drawing on my sketch pad, and I wouldn’t show you what I was drawing?”

I roll my shoulders. “Yeah?”

Kenzi steps back lifting her shirt and pulls down her pants a little on her left hip to reveal a bandage. My eyes shoot open wide, and I let out a laugh. “You didn’t?”

Kenzi smiles. “I did.”

“Can I see it?”

Kenzi nods, and I stand, walking over to her. My heart races a little faster. If Mom worked on the design, then it must be sentimental. I can’t wait to see what Kenzi had Mom draw for her. I carefully pull back the gauze. There’s a line of barbed wire with what looks like stitching along the line, and Dilectio underneath in fancy script font. Somehow the tattoo is both elegant and badass at the same time, but I can’t quite work out what it means.

My eyes shift up to Kenzi, and she smiles.

“Okay, so hear me out. The barbed wire represents the memory of when we were kids breaking out for the party, and I lost my footing and ripped myself open on the fencing… it’s not that memory that I got it for but the memory of you telling me. When you had your hands on my legs, that was the first time I felt that connection with you. The first time I knew there was something here.”

My chest squeezes as I study the tattoo even further noticing the stitching. “The stitches on the wire… they’re the stitches on a baseball.”

She smiles wide. “Right… another moment between us. You helped me find my old passion, and it brought us closer.”

“Dilectio?” I ask.

“It’s Latin for Spiritual Love. It roughly translates to soulmates.”

Warmth runs through me as I try to hold in my emotion. That’s the perfect way to describe us. Kenzi’s memory might not be able to recall everything about me, but her soul does because we are soulmates.

“I fucking love you,” I say with far too much emotion in my voice for my liking.

She smiles. “I love you right back, Riot.”

Hearing her call me that means so much to me. She’s the perfect woman I could have ever asked for. She may not be the Kenzi I grew up with, but I love her all the same.

“C’mon, Falcon, let’s leave them to it,” Mom whispers.

Kenzi spins to look at Mom. “Thank you, Jinx. I really appreciate this.”

She waves her hand through the air. “It’s what family does, sweetheart.”

I put Kenzi’s gauze back in place, then pull her clothes back up, and I yank her to me, looking in her eyes. “You did good, baby.”

She smiles, her fingers looping in the hair at the nape of my neck. “I’m glad you like it.”

“It’s perfect… you’re perfect.”

She leans in pressing her lips to mine in the middle of the clubhouse.

Our home.

The place we grew up.

The place we are going to grow old.

The place we will raise our family.

Kenzi is my life, just like I’m hers, and now we can finally start it together.