Perceive by K E Osborn
AXEL
Luca can be your best friend or a smartass when it comes to helping with problems.
It’s always a risk to let him in on your big life issues because it can go either way.
Sometimes he’s talking to you like he is your best damn friend, pumping you up like he has the answers to the universe. The deep and meaningful shit. The other half of the time, he’s a smartass who’s determined to take your problems and poke holes in them for shits and giggles.
It’s always a gamble.
And I know better.
“Again, Luca, you’re hitting slower than my grandma,” I tease him as his fist connects with my boxing pad. Now he’s passed his medical to go back on missions, I’m training with him to keep his fitness levels up, but he’s also trying to help me work out some of my pent-up tension.
He gives me a left hook, sweat beading on his brow as he chuckles. “Your grandma hits it real slow if you know what I mean. She hit it with me last night, oh so fucking slow.” He goes to uppercut my left pad, but I pull it out of the way and smack him in the head with my right.
“Fuck you, asshole, don’t talk about my grammy that way!”
Luca laughs as he moves back into position. “In all seriousness, how are you doing?”
Not about to fall into his trap, I scoff, pulling my pads back into place. “We’re not in here for me, Luca, you need to get your fitness back up to par. So hit me like you mean it.”
Luca cracks his neck to the side with his all-too-cocky smirk. “You asked for it, biker brat.” I snort out a laugh as Luca starts punching me in quick succession. One hit after the other. The force behind his punches stronger than it has been. A slow smile creeps up my face as I start to move. My feet pacing as we move around the gym, he’s following my every move as we spar, like we’ve done a million times before.
He’s getting better.
Suddenly, my cell blares from the other side of the room, distracting me. I drop my guard for the briefest of seconds, and Luca lands a punch straight into the side of my face.
He halts his movements as I blink a couple of times, and he begins pulling off his gloves. “Shit, man, you never drop your guard. You okay?” His hand comes up gripping my chin as I wrack my jaw to the side.
“I’m good. You’re as slow as my grandma, but you also hit as weak as her too.”
Luca lets go of my face, bursting out laughing. “Ha! Fucking liar. That’s gonna leave a bruise.”
He’s not kidding. It did hurt like a bitch, and it really is going to leave a bruise. I never get distracted when training. This shit with Kenzi is affecting my work. I need to get my head in the game and keep it there.
“You gonna answer that call?” Luca quips, sporting the biggest smirk.
With a scrunch of my face, I pull off the pads and jog over to my cell. It stops ringing just as I reach it to see a missed call from Tanner. She was with Kenzi, so I call her back immediately.
She answers on the first ring. “Hey, you busy right now?”
I glance over at Luca. His face is bright red, dripping in sweat. I don’t miss the slight limp he’s sporting as he walks toward me. Yeah, he’s done for the day. “No, I’m good. Everything go all right?”
She hesitates for a moment—a moment is enough time to have my stomach-churning.
Tanner was supposed to make Kenzi feel like she had someone on her side. Like she had another woman to lean on. If things with Tanner didn’t go as planned, it might have set Kenzi back.
“It was interesting… I think you need to come down to Kenzi’s room. If you can come now, that would be great.”
I swipe the sweat forming on my brow off with the back of my hand. “I’m leaving now.” I end the call, wondering what in the hell is going on. All I know is, I have to get there. My anxiety is building slowly like a wave as Luca hobbles over to me.
“Everything okay?”
I roll my shoulders. “Honestly, I have no idea.”
“Remember, you’re in this for the long haul. You got this, Axel. Try not to blow up and keep your damn cool. If she’s worth it to you, then you gotta play this the right way.”
See, two sides to Luca. The idiot and the deep and meaningful. I’ve got both in this short amount of time.
“You’ve been hanging around Everly too much… this D&M shit is weird on you.”
He snorts out a laugh. “Sorry, I’ll go visit your grandma then, shall I?”
“And there he is!”
He chuckles, gripping my shoulder. “And next time, I’ll punch a little harder.”
“Next time, I’ll punch you right back.”
He chuckles. “Get the fuck out of here. Kenzi is waiting.”
I grab my shirt, pulling it over my head and walk for the door. My stomach rolls in anticipation. Every time I know I’m about to see Kenzi, a wave of adrenaline rolls over me. I’m like an addict, and she’s the hit that just can’t come soon enough.
There’s history between us, and it’s killing me that our entire life is a void for her. All that emotion, all those feelings, and she doesn’t know how much I care about her. She can’t even comprehend how deep my feelings for her run. She’s not just the girl I grew up with. She’s a part of me, engrained deep in my soul.
For the longest time after she was taken, I didn’t even know how to function. Now she is back and I don’t know if it’s worse. At least when she was gone, there was hope. Hope of finding her. Now she’s here, right in front of me, but the past that held us together is nowhere to be found. Everything wiped clean.
She’s a void of what she was.
Yeah, I can still physically see her, touch her, smell her, but is it the same? I honestly don’t know anymore. I don’t know if this version of Kenzi is the same as the girl I fell for. All these thoughts plague my mind as I make my way to her room. My muscles rife with tension, trying to figure out what the fuck I’m trying to accomplish here. If Kenzi’s fighting this, if she’s fighting us, then maybe this version of Kenzi can’t be changed back into the girl I once knew. Maybe she is lost forever. And that thought is crippling me right now.
As I stand in front of Kenzi’s door, I take a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. Luca told me I need to keep my shit together. So, I must pull myself through this and see what Tanner and Kenzi have to say.
No matter how bad it is.
Swiping my key card, the door unlocks, and I step in to see Kenzi and Tanner sitting in the room casually chatting like they’re the best of friends.
I scrunch my brows in confusion.
This is not what I was expecting.
“Oh, hey, you took your sweet-ass time. Get in here!” Tanner teases as she waves her hand at me.
Kenzi’s big doe eyes glance my way, her eyelashes battering as she casually smiles at me.
Definitely not what I was expecting.
Maybe I had this all wrong?
“So, you never told me Tanner was so cool. Why didn’t you introduce me to her sooner?”
I jerk my head back a little in confusion, pulling out the seat next to Tanner. “Ahh, sorry?” I say more like a question.
Kenzi narrows her eyes on me, then leans forward across the table. “Is that a bruise on your jaw?” The concern in her voice is clear. She isn’t faking that.
What the hell is going on right now?
I unconsciously rub my chin. “Was training with Luca… lost my concentration. Have other things on my mind.”
Kenzi bites down on her bottom lip, sitting back in her chair. “I’m sorry. I don’t want you getting hurt because of me.”
She sounds like her old self, a flicker of hope shining through has me sitting taller. “So, Kenzi wants to talk to you about something,” Tanner announces, clearing her throat.
My eyes are still focused on Kenzi, my heart hammering in my chest as I swallow a lump in my throat. There are so many things she could tell me. Things about us, things about her now, things about Hendrix, any of them I would gladly take right now. Any of them would make me believe everything I was just thinking could be a lie.
That my old Kenzi is still in there.
That I could still get her back.
Kenzi sits forward, her hands intertwined together in a ball on top of the desk. “So, I feel like I need to give you something… no, I want to give you something.”
Tilting my head, I place my hands on the table just in front of hers and nod. “Okay?”
Her mint-green eyes shining back at me so bright, reminding me why I always chose mint chocolate chip as my favorite ice cream flavor. Just because it reminds me of her eyes. Down to the small flecks of brown that glisten in her irises. Her eyes are stunning, and I’ve been known to be lost in them for days. Even when she didn’t realize it. That’s the effect Kenzi had on me before I realized it. This woman holds so much power over me. Even like this, where she’s just a part of who she was, a reflection of the Kenzi I knew, she is still in there. My heart hammers as a slow smile pulls across her face. An energy pulls me to her, our hands so close on the table. If I extended my fingers, I could touch her.
But I won’t.
She licks her bottom lip with an exhale. “So, Rix…” I tense up. Buzz-kill. “He has this place we used to go stay sometimes.”
My ears prick up. “Okay…”
Kenzi glances at Tanner, and she nods her head giving Kenzi the support she needs. I wish I could give her that support, but I’m glad she feels like she has that in Tanner. “It’s a safe house. We would go there if we were compromised. I think… I think he might be there now.”
My skin prickles as my eyes shift to Tanner for a brief second before returning to Kenzi. The look on Tanner’s face tells me all I need to know.
This is a peace offering.
She’s working with us.
“Kenzi, I don’t want to push you or make you say anything you’re not ready to, but—”
“It’s in El Paso.”
Wow. I didn’t even need to push. Maybe I was wrong about all of this. Maybe Kenzi is coming back to me. “Any chance you think Garrick Gibbs will be with him?”
Kenzi frowns, looking up at me and tilting her head. “Not unless he’s mysteriously returned from the dead?”
“Say again?” I choke out, looking to Tanner, whose eyes are just as wide as mine. “Garrick Gibbs is dead? I don’t—”
“Hendrix killed him a little while ago,” she explains slowly, suddenly looking a little nervous. “He was making promises to different people, knowing he could never fulfill them. It almost got Hendrix killed, so he had to step in.”
“I’m sure he did,” I murmur dryly.
She frowns and pulls back. I don’t hesitate this time. Reaching across, I grab her hands. She doesn’t flinch or make a move to take them away, and for a moment, I’m surprised. Something has changed, and the last thing I want to do is fuck that up. So, I take a slow breath and think about my next move carefully. “Thank you. I mean it, Kenzi. This information means a lot.”
She nods with a warm smile. “I know.”
I shake my head. “Why did you change your mind? Decide to open up?”
She drops her head, breaking our eye contact. “I… I don’t want to break you.”
“I don’t understand?” My heart hammers in my chest.
Kenzi’s eyes slowly glance back up to meet me. “I don’t want to be the reason you destroy everything you have fought so long for.”
She’s not wrong.
I would ruin everything for her.
I would wreck my life for her if it meant she was free and could live a normal life again.
If she was happy.
If I got my Kenzi back.
This job at The Agency was all for her, so burning it to the ground would all be okay if it meant I got her back.
Tanner nudges my shoulder, and I clear my throat. “I just want you to be safe, Kenzi. I just want you to be happy. To do that, I need information on Hendrix. So, thank you.”
She bites on her bottom lip again and reluctantly I let her go, sitting back. “You will protect me though, won’t you? From him?”
I furrow my brows as I clench my jaw. “Kenzi, Hendrix is never coming near you. I’ll die before that happens.”
Her eyes begin to water as Tanner places her hand on my forearm. “C’mon, we need to go see Jack.”
I dip my chin as I stand from the table. “You did good, Kenzi.”
She wipes under her eyes and smiles at me again as Tanner grabs my arm and leads me toward the door. She turns back toward Kenzi. “I’ll send Blair in to get the exact address.”
Kenzi nods as Tanner leads me out. She obviously has more to say, from the urgent way she’s trying to usher me out of the room. Tanner signals to Blair, and he walks in behind us, the door closing as her gaze narrows to a glare. “What?”
She shakes her head. “You can’t say shit like that, Axel. You can’t promise you’ll die for her. Shit like that sticks with people. What happens if Hendrix comes after you, and God forbid, you die, huh? She’ll blame herself. Don’t be so fucking reckless!”
Dammit! She’s right.
Even though I would one hundred percent die for Kenzi, telling her was stupid. I let my guard down around her. I need to be better. Do better. “You’re right. Let’s get to Jack so I can go find Hendrix and kill him, instead.”
She shakes her head. “You better keep your shit together in this, Axel. You’re starting to come undone.”
I head off, and she jogs to catch up with me. “I’m good,” I insist. “I know what needs to be done. I have a target, and trust me, no one has better aim than me.”
Tanner snorts out a laugh. “Jesus Christ, we’re all gonna die.”