Moving On by Erin Osborne
Chapter Eight
Irish
MY BABY GIRL has been gone for a few weeks now. We’ve searched nonstop since learning of her being taken. Not a single one of us are doing okay right now. Especially Whitney. She spends all of her time crying and sitting on the front porch of our home waiting for Sami to show up. Goose is doing horrible. He’s barely slept, hasn’t eaten unless we force him to, and has nothing to do with Kelsie. Kelsie is Sami’s mini me and I know it’s breaking his heart and crushing his soul to know there’s nothing he can do to bring Sami home. My son-in-law is losing what little bit of hope he has each and every day she’s gone. It’s killing all of us to know his wife is missing and not having any idea of what to do or where to search for her. We’ve been all over Clifton Falls, Dander Falls, and every surrounding town. Not a single person knows anything.
The guys from Dander Falls have taken over working on everything in Cedar Bay. They’ve taken over the construction, building relationships with people in town, and doing what we’ve been trying to do since Pops brought this idea to us. Only half of their club has gone there though. Everyone else stayed behind to search for Sami and call in every single favor we’ve ever made in our business dealings. Our entire life has shut down from the businesses to any runs we made arrangements for so long ago. Thankfully all of our associates are being extremely understanding. Not that I give a shit one way or another because my daughter comes before everything else.
Kelsie is not herself at all. She knows her mom hasn’t been there like she normally is. Sami is one of the best mom’s I’ve ever seen. Our grandbaby is her entire world and Sami dotes on her. Takes her to the park and other places to show her the wonders of the world and teach her everything she can. When they’re at home, the two bake, cook, and dance around the kitchen while they do it. It’s nothing for us to show up while they’re singing at the top of their lungs and spinning around the kitchen. Laughter and love fill the home Goose and Sami have built. It’s been amazing to watch them grow from a couple to a small family of three. The two of them have made exceptional parents and show their love for one another each and every single day. He’s truly lost without his soulmate and the other half of his heart.
When I’m not out searching for Sami, I’m with my woman and children. I’m going insane and can’t focus on a damn thing. My mind is plagued with thoughts of what’s being done to my daughter and why we can’t find her. Whoever took her had to know we’d do everything in our power to get her back. I’ll sell my soul to the devil himself to have Sami back with us. There is no way in hell I’m going to rest until she’s back with her husband and young daughter. We have our granddaughter more often than not. Whitney feels as if we have a piece of our daughter here with us when Goose isn’t with his little girl. I feel much the same as he does with the exception of spending time with her.
Honestly, Goose isn’t the only one losing hope as each day comes to a close. I’ve spent most of my time away from home where I really want to be with Whitney and the kids. My heart won’t stop racing and I’m constantly filled with fear, sadness, rage, and the need for vengeance filling me. None of the guys will leave me alone just as they don’t leave Goose alone. Someone is with us at all times which is a good thing when it comes to him. Goose is getting reckless and doesn’t give a shit about what happens to him. Not even Kelsie can bring him out of his head long enough to realize we are going to bring Sami home to them. One way or another I know we’ll bring her home. Then, we’ll do whatever is necessary to help her heal from whatever tragedy has been done to her.
“Irish. Where you at?” Cage calls out, walking in my house as I sit at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in my hands.
“Kitchen.”
I don’t want to talk to anyone or see anyone. Cage wouldn’t have wasted any time calling out for me if he had any new news on my daughter. He’d have stalked through the house until he found us. Knowing him the way I do, Cage is not one to mince words or beat around the bush. He’s just as frantic to find Sami and bring her home as the rest of us are.
“Man, been callin’ your phone. Why aren’t you answerin’?”
“Don’t feel like talkin’. Talkin’ ain’t doin’ shit to bring my girl home where she belongs. It’s been weeks and no one has seen or heard anythin’ from the fuckers who have her. Just want to be left alone until I’m ready to go out searchin’ for her in a few minutes,” I answer him, not pulling my eyes from the doors leading out back.
In my mind, I can see Sami sitting outside with Goose on a blanket as they talk, laugh, and dream of the future they wanted to have. I used to hear them talking about having children, at least three, and what they wanted to do to raise them the way Whitney raised Sami until I came in the picture. Goose told her I’m his inspiration and he wants to love his children and teach them the same way I do. That was the day I knew this wasn’t just a passing fancy for Goose. The day I knew with no doubts Sami was the one for him. His want for their children to know how much he loves them and will support them no matter what they want to do with their lives is not something guys his age think about.
At first, I can’t even lie. I thought Goose was just a punk ass kid who saw Sami as nothing more than a woman he wanted to pass some time with. Someone he thought would warm his bed for a little while before he kicked her to the curb. That’s not the case at all. He fell head over heels in love with my daughter, protecting her and taking care of her every second of each day. Goose was her date for prom, he took her out to a fancy dinner when she graduated, and proposed after asking me for permission to be with her the rest of their lives. He grew into an amazing man, and I can’t be happier for them.
“Let’s go. I’m ridin’ out with you today. Where are we headin’?” Cage questions me, not bothering to take a seat at the table with me.
Without finishing my coffee, I dump it out and rinse out my cup before going to the bedroom in search of Whitney. She’s curled up in bed with the blankets pulled up as far on her body as she can get them. The only thing I can see is the top of her head. Leaning over our bed, I place a kiss on her forehead as I look down on her. Even in sleep Whitney can’t escape the tears rolling down her face every day. She cries, screams out as nightmares haunt her, and begs for our girl to come home. Since Sami got taken, the only time this doesn’t happen is when Kelsie is in bed with her. Those times my wife wraps our grandbaby up in her arms and doesn’t let her go.
“I don’t know. There’s nowhere else to look. We’ve been all over this fuckin’ town repeatedly. We’ve been around Dander Falls, Benton Falls, and every other fuckin’ town in between them all. Every single member of the club has searched and ridden up and down every single road, looked through each abandoned house, and talked to everyone we see on the road. There are flyers up, a site Keira started for information, and the cops are even goin’ out when they have nothin’ better to do. What the fuck do you all want from me?” I growl out, my emotions overtaking me once again before I can get them under control.
I’ve had to be so strong for Whitney, Goose, Kelsie, and our children. It’s weighing heavy on me and I’m reaching my breaking point. There is nothing more I can do to bring her home and I feel like such an epic failure. Not just as a dad but as a man. I’m supposed to be there to protect my family and it didn’t happen. Sami will never look at me the same again, and I won’t ever expect her to.
Without warning, my legs give out and I drop to the floor right in front of Cage. Tears have finally broken free as I let all of my pain, guilt, and anger roll down my face and fall to my jeans and the floor beneath me. I don’t even care he’s here to witness my breakdown. Cage kneels down in front of me and pulls me into his body. He’s going to hold me and let me get all of this shit out in my own time. He’s not going to rub it in my face or make a big deal out of it. It’s what anyone would do if they were to witness me losing my shit right now as I cry and try not to bellow out my rage waking Whitney up in the process. This is not something she needs to see happening.
After my breakdown in the middle of our kitchen, Cage helped me up and we went out searching for my girl. Not a word was said about what happened. After climbing on our bikes, we searched for hours. Riding up and down each and every single road in town, out of town, and through several small towns in the surrounding areas. Even stopping in a few towns I haven’t personally ridden through yet. Cage and I talked to several people about anything weird or suspicious happening in the area in the last several weeks. Again, nothing from anyone we talk to. I’m not sure if they’re scared of us, know something and are scared of the people involved, or if they truly don’t know any information. It’s heartbreaking though.
Cage and I stop at a gas station to fill our bikes up when he lets me know shit I had no clue was going on.
“Need you to stop at the clubhouse before you head home today,” he tells me, as we walk our bikes from the gas pumps. “Goose has been there the last few days and if you thought Zander was bad when he lost Aryn, it’s nothin’ on what Goose is doin’. He won’t even get out of his bed now.”
“Where the fuck is my granddaughter while he’s like this?” I question, anger filling me at Goose’s behavior even if I understand where he’s coming from.
“She’s been with us for the most part. Or at the clubhouse when all the ol’ ladies are there. We know Whitney’s not doin’ the best right now and have no problem keepin’ an eye on Kelsie while you guys are at the house. It’s what you’d do for us if we were the ones sufferin’ the way you all are right now.”
“Let’s go.”
Starting up my bike, I make my way toward the clubhouse. We’re forty-five minutes away in a small town but make the trip back there in just over twenty. Parking my bike in line at the clubhouse where I haven’t been since we got back, I shut the engine off and don’t wait for Cage to go with me inside. Flinging the main door open, I let it slam against the wall, startling everyone currently in the common room. Including my grandbaby.
“Papa!” Kelsie calls out, getting off the couch and racing toward me.
I immediately stop walking toward my baby girl and wait for her to get to me. At the last second, she jumps up in my arms and wraps her little ones around my neck holding on for dear life. Her face is buried in my neck as wetness begins to cover my skin as her tears slide down her face. Kelsie used to be the happiest little girl I’d ever met in my life. Now, she spends all of her time crying and she’s so damn confused. Goose needs to pull his head out of his ass and realize he still has a responsibility to this little girl who is so precious and angelic. My daughter would want him to push past his pain and make Kelsie his number one priority. It’s time for him to get a damn wakeup call and I’ll be the one to give it to him.
“Kels, can you do Papa a favor?” I ask my little one as she barely nods her head in response to me. “Can you sit with auntie Sky while I go talk to your daddy? I’ll take you home with me when I’m done here, and you can see Nannie. We’ll have dinner together.”
With another nod of her head, I walk over to place Kelsie back on the couch with Skylar. Some cartoon is playing on the TV. There isn’t anyone else here. No bikes were parked out front and none of the other ol’ ladies are here. They’d all be sitting in the common room with Sky and my baby girl if they were here. After setting my girl down, I quickly make my way toward Goose’s bedroom. The door is locked, and it doesn’t take Cage long to get inside. The only reason I’m not using my key is because it’s not here with me. I keep it at home in case of emergencies only. Mainly if Sami were to call me saying she needed it. Catching them in the act of doing anything is the last thing I need to happen.
Walking in the door, Goose is passed out on his bed. He’s half on and half off the bed with his boots on and his cut hanging from the back of the chair next to the bed. His clothes are a rumpled mess and the place smells like ass, stale alcohol, and as if something fucking died in here. Clothes litter the floor, and this is not how this room has been kept at all. Sami and Goose keep the room here and their home very clean. They work together and don’t make one do something instead of doing it themselves. They’re relationship is a true partnership in every way.
“Cage, get on the other side of him. He’s goin’ in the shower just like this,” I tell him as we make our way to each side of the man.
Together we make our way in the small bathroom where I turn on the cold water before starting the shower. This is one of the few rooms with a tub instead of just a standup shower. Without hesitation, we dump Goose in the tub clothes covering his body. Neither one of us bother to remove the bottle he’s hanging onto because this is the last time I see him drunk. If not, I’ll take my grandbaby from him without worrying what the fuck he thinks or feels about it.
“The fuck?” Goose sputters and spits as the cold water continues to rain down on him.
“You awake and alert now?” I ask him, not turning the water off for him. “I got some shit to say to you and you’re gonna fuckin’ listen to what I have to say. Don’t give a fuck if you like it or not.”
I finally shut the water off but don’t help him get out of the tub. Cage tosses him a towel he uses to wipe down his face before turning bloodshot eyes on me. His pain is written for the entire world to see as I steel myself against giving into him. Hell, it’s only been hours since I broke down. The only difference is I’m not finding the bottom of a bottle the way he is while ignoring the one person who should always come first; his daughter.
“My grandbaby has been with Cage, Sky, and Joker. Why?”
“I can’t do this without Sami. She’s the love of my life and without her, I don’t give a shit about anythin’,” Goose answers me honestly. “Do you know how bad it hurts to see my daughter and how much she looks like her mama? It guts me every single time she turns her eyes on me and talks to me in her sweet little voice. What the fuck do you want from me, Irish?”
“I want you to fuckin’ man up and be the dad I know you are. You don’t think we’re all hurtin’ right now? Sami might be your wife, but she’s, my daughter. I want nothin’ more than to bring her home to you and your little girl. We’re all doin’ everythin’ in our power to make it happen. What you’re gonna do right now is get your fuckin’ ass up and sober the fuck up. I’m takin’ Kels home with me for the night. You’ll be at my house first thing in the mornin’ and your sole focus will be your daughter. Let us look for my girl and you only focus on makin’ sure Kelsie knows she’s the most important thing in your life right now. Is that fuckin’ understood?” I growl out, leaning down to get in his face from his spot in the tub. “If you fuck this up and don’t stay sober for my grandbaby, I’ll take her from you, and you will only see her at my house. Is that what my daughter would want to happen? You not to spend every single second with the life you two created.”
“I know you’re right Irish. How do I spend my time with Kels when I can’t do the things Sami does with her? I don’t know how she does it every single day.”
“You do what you want to do with her. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as your focused on her and let her know how much you love her and are there for her. She’s just as confused as the rest of us only she can’t grasp the concept of Sami not being here because someone took her. It’s up to you to make sure she knows how much here mama loves her and that she’ll be back as soon as we can make it happen,” I answer him, finally helping him out of the tub. “We all miss and love Sami. This is hittin’ more than just you hard. Do this for me. Be the man I know you are, Goose. The man my daughter fell in love with so many years ago. Kels deserves no less than that.”
Goose wraps his arms around me as I hold his weight. He cries into my chest as Cage leaves the room and I simply hold my son-in-law while he lets out his despair. I don’t give a fuck about his wet clothes soaking mine or anything else. All that matters right now is Goose and him getting this shit out so he can begin to rebuild until we find Sami and bring her home where she belongs. Then, the three of them will learn how to be a family once again. By the time I leave with Kelsie, Goose started cleaning up his room and getting rid of the empty bottles filling the floor and putting his clothes in the hamper so he can wash them. Leaving him to it, I head home to my wife so we can spend the rest of the night together with Kels.
