Inked Devotion by Carrie Ann Ryan

Chapter 9

Benjamin

Somehow, it was Monday morning, and I headed back to work. After leaving without more than a few words over a week prior, I needed to face my entire family. I had taken a vacation out of the blue, had gone on a road trip with a friend, and I hadn’t told anyone why or what had happened along the way. Not that I was going to explain to them what had happened at all. None of them needed to know what had happened. And, if I were honest with myself, I didn’t even know what had happened. The road trip back had gone smoother than the trip there. If you could call unending awkwardness smooth.

Brenna and I barely talked to one another. The driver picked the music or the audiobook, and the passenger spent their time on the phone or working. Each of us had portfolios to work on and paperwork to deal with. Neither one of us had wanted to deal with the reality of our situation. Not that I knew the reality of our situation, but there was no changing that.

Brenna had dropped me off at my house, gave me a look, and nodded tightly. We would see each other soon. We wouldn’t talk about what had happened. Ever. We wouldn’t tell anyone what happened. We would pretend that we hadn’t slept together. That we hadn’t fucked drunkenly on a hotel bed. We would pretend that I hadn’t kissed her again or seen her with her family and wanted to get to know her more. No, we wouldn’t be talking about any of that.

We would soon have to talk about why each of us had left town. Because one day soon, Brenna would choose her donor and get pregnant and become a new mother. The family would know that she wanted to be a mom, and they would find out how that had happened, how it had nothing to do with me since we wouldn’t be telling them everything that happened on the trip.

I would tell my family my decision. Later today, I would tell Laura my decision. I knew things needed to get going, and I needed to start donating. That wasn’t a sentence I would typically think of on an ordinary day.

I wasn’t sure how all of this happened at once, but now I was walking into the office of Montgomery Builders and pretending that I wasn’t freaking out inside.

I used to be pretty good at this, and yet from the way that Paige narrowed her eyes at me, I had a feeling I was already breaking.

“You’re early,” my little sister said as she bounced over to me. She wrapped her arms around my waist.

I sighed, hugging her back. “Like ten minutes. There wasn’t traffic.”

I hadn’t slept the night before, so I had probably left a little early, but that wasn’t too unusual for me. It wasn’t like I needed sleep to do my job. I was only manual labor. Even the sarcastic thought that wasn’t at all true made me recoil.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here. We missed you this weekend.”

“I’m sure you did.” She ignored the dryness in my tone.

She took a step back and beamed. “You do look well-rested.”

Well, I was good at lying about something then, because there was no way I looked well-rested. But one of us was lying, and perhaps both of us were at this point.

“It was a good trip. Brenna’s family was just as crazy as the Montgomerys.”

Paige rolled her eyes. “That’s what she said. I can’t believe you went to her family reunion.”

“I hadn’t planned on sticking around for the reunion part. I just needed a drive.” I shrugged.

I needed to tell my family why I had left. Wasn’t that going to be an awkward conversation. Maybe I would do it today and get it over with. I had already made my decision, and I would tell Laura this afternoon. If I got the reason why I had left off my chest, maybe they would think I was acting the way I was because of that, and not because I had slept with Brenna and screwed our entire friendship over in a single evening.

And perhaps it was more than a single evening, but I wasn’t going to think about that.

“You’re here,” Clay said as he walked into the essential area where Paige’s desk was located, two cups of coffee in his hands. “I didn’t know you’d be here today, so I didn’t get you coffee. Sorry.”

Paige bounced on her toes. “For me?” she asked as she held out her hands. “Give me, give me.”

Clay rolled his eyes and handed over the cup. “It’s because I owe you, not because you’re my favorite Montgomery.”

“I am your favorite Montgomery. You know this. My precious. Mine, mine, mine.” She started singing to the coffee and went back to her desk. “Meeting in twenty,” she declared, as she answered the phone and took a sip of coffee at the same time. How she did that all at once, I wasn’t sure, but my sister was a genius.

“What did you owe her, and what is in that coffee?”

“She helped babysit the kids last night because my regular babysitter got a head cold, Storm and Everly were out on a date, and I didn’t want to bother them unless I needed to, and I was stuck on the job site with Beckett until late.”

I frown. “Everything okay there? I mean, with everything you just said.”

“Babysitter’s fine, Storm and Everly seemed to have a blast at their date, and I don’t want to think about the details, and Paige did great with the kids. As for the job site? Burst pipe.”

I cursed. “Nobody told me.”

“I think we’re going over it on the notes today. It happened late Friday night, and I guess everybody wanted to let you have some time to yourself on your vacation. We’re not supposed to work on vacations.”

I snorted. “When’s the last time you took a vacation, Clay?”

“Oh, I’m low down on the rungs of the Montgomery ladder. I’ll get a vacation when it’s good and ready.”

“Already slacking off on the job and wanting a vacation?” Beckett asked as he walked in, his gaze going directly to the cup of coffee in Clay’s hand.

Beckett’s assistant project manager shook his head and pulled the coffee back. “This is mine. You can get yours. I’m not your assistant assistant.”

“You have coffee. And I want coffee.”

“You’re an adult who can pour it yourself,” I added.

Clay grinned at me. “See? Now you are my favorite Montgomery.”

“Hey,” Paige said from her desk. “Not nice.”

“You’re right. You’ll be my favorite next.”

“That’s all I ask.” Paige went back to her notes in front of her, and I shook my head, happy that I had gotten a break from the place, but I still missed it.

“Glad you’re back.” Beckett’s words brought me out of my thoughts, and I shook my head.

“Same here.”

“You have a good time with our girl?” my twin asked.

I held back a frown. I knew that Beckett didn’t have feelings for Brenna. Brenna told me, and I believed her that she didn’t have feelings for him. The possessiveness of his tone because of their friendship rubbed me the wrong way though. I knew that it had nothing to do with me. Beckett wasn’t overbearing or an asshole to any of Brenna’s former boyfriends. Not that I knew of many of them, but there have been a couple, now that I thought about it. However, I just didn’t like the way he said ‘our girl.’ And that was on me. If Brenna ever heard my thoughts? She would kick my ass, and rightly so.

“You’re here,” Annabelle said as she came over to me and hugged me tightly. “I’m so glad that you’re back. We missed you.” She kissed my cheek, and I hugged her close before I looked down.

“You’re looking pretty cute.” It was true. She glowed, and I knew it was only partly due to the pregnancy. Being with Jacob had made her happier, and I was glad for it.

She beamed. “I feel pretty cute. I haven’t thrown up once today.”

“Praise God,” Archer said as he walked into the area too.

I looked around at my family, and my shoulders relaxed. They would understand what I was about to tell them. At least about Laura. Brenna? No, that was a secret I was going to take to my grave.

“We need to go get into the meeting. Come on.” Paige tugged at my hand, and I followed her, feeling more at home than I had for a while. Maybe I needed a break from more than just thinking. Because coming back after time away really did make the heart grow fonder.

We headed into the main conference room, where we met with some clients instead of our individual offices. I knew that my family liked to alternate between all of our offices to give things variety, but I was glad that we would be in this big room. Of course, if I tacked on my announcement at the end of this meeting, Clay would be part of it too, but why the hell not? It would give me practice for when I had to tell my parents. I didn’t want to keep that a secret from them, and I just hoped they were the ones that would understand.

“I heard about the pipe,” I said as I sat down in front of Beckett, and my twin groaned.

“It was ridiculous. It was on the city too, but we were there to help fix it. It’s not going to put us back on time because Clay was thankfully able to get down in the mud and help me, but it was a fucking nightmare.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

Beckett shook his head. “If you would have been in town, the other projects that you would have been on were on the other side of the city. Fort Collins might not be that big compared to Denver, but it still wouldn’t have made sense for you to drive all the way out to the site that we were at. So you didn’t miss anything.”

“That’s something, I guess.” I sighed. “How are the twins?” I asked Annabelle as she set her feet up on a chair next to her.

“Being cute. At least that’s what I’m saying. I’m currently feeling good today, so I’m going to say I’m happy.”

“They better be happy, the way that I’m taking care of their mom,” Archer mumbled as he began to rub Annabelle’s ankles.

I raised my brow at my little brother, who just shrugged. “My twin is hurting, so I’m hurting.”

“Our twin pain doesn’t work that way,” Beckett laughed.

“See? Twin pain is the one reason I am glad I wasn’t a twin,” Paige put in. “Still, I was pretty jealous of the whole twin thing. Now Annabelle’s having some of her own.”

There was a longing sigh in her voice that all of us ignored. These days, that longing had nothing to do with wanting to be a twin but more about a certain person that hadn’t yet popped the question. I met Beckett’s gaze, and then Archer’s, and the three of us nodded. Annabelle rolled her eyes, but I knew she understood. We would have to see what Colton’s intentions were soon if he wasn’t careful. Yes, Paige would kill us, and no, it wasn’t any of our business, but sue us. She was our baby sister. We would do whatever we had to in order to protect her.

We got settled and went to work, going over the plans for the next two weeks and future client meetings. My job was usually at the end because, nine times out of ten, the original plans would change so dramatically that usually the most challenging work of mine would be right when my family was nearly done with their parts. I didn’t mind. I got to get my hands dirty and work with what I loved.

Clay got a phone call right at the end, and I took that as a good sign. I let out a breath and looked at everyone.

“If we have a minute, can I talk about something that’s not on the agenda?”

Everyone stilled and looked over at me. “Are you okay?” Paige asked, biting her bottom lip.

I reached out and hugged her close, kissing her on the top of her head. We may be at work, but right then, it was a family meeting.

“I’m okay. I promise. However, I figured I’d tell you why I needed to go on that trip.”

“Not just to be with Brenna?” Annabelle asked, her eyes bright. Beckett snorted, and Archer just shook his head. “What?” she asked.

I did my best to ignore all of them because if I wasn’t careful, they would be able to read the emotions on my face, and that wasn’t the subject I was going to get into right then. Or ever, for that matter.

“Why did you go?” Archer asked after a moment.

I looked between them and nodded, knowing I just needed to get it out there. “I needed time to make a decision and some space. I love you guys, but I needed to make this choice for myself.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Annabelle asked as she rubbed her stomach.

I nodded quickly. “Yes. Which is good because I need to be healthy for this.” I winced as they all gave me weird looks.

“Laura and Michelle came to me, and we had a discussion.”

“Are you joining their relationship?” Archer asked, clapping his hands. “Because that would be hot. We do have menages in the family.”

I snorted, shaking my head. “Laura and Michelle decided to have a baby. I’m not joining their relationship.”

Annabelle put her hands to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears, as Paige came over to me and hugged me tightly. “You’re going to be the father, aren’t you?” she said, as she bounced on her toes and began to dance around the room.

I rolled my eyes and brought Paige close again. “I’m going to be the donor. Not the father. More of an uncle, with the way that they’re saying. I’m going to donate my sperm, and there will be some Montgomery DNA out there that is not going to be a Montgomery. I hope everyone’s okay with that because it’s going to happen.”

“That’s amazing,” Archer said as he moved around the table to hug me tight. “That is so generous. I always knew you were the best of us, but it’s a little ridiculous.”

“Thanks,” I said dryly.

“This is so exciting. I am glad that you decided without us because we probably would have made pros and cons lists,” Paige added, and that made me laugh.

“That’s exactly what I was thinking.”

“You told Brenna this then? To get on that road trip?” Beckett asked as he studied my face.

I cringe. “Yes, she knows, but not until after we were already on the trip. You got a problem with that?”

“Not at all. However, I have one problem with one thing.”

“Beckett Montgomery, you better not have a single problem with this,” Paige said, wagging her finger in front of him. “He is bringing joy to the world. It doesn’t matter that it won’t be a Montgomery, and he’s not going to raise this baby as a father. There are many ways to make a family, and you should know that.”

I put my hands on Paige’s waist and lifted her as she let out a little squeal, and I put her to the side.

“You’re done then?” Beckett asked, his eyes twinkling.

“Why are you smiling? You’re not saying anything nice,” she stated.

“All I’m saying is Laura and Michelle had a twin to look at, and clearly they chose the wrong one. I mean, Laura already had to deal with Benjamin once, and now she’s with the love of her life. Why not try me out? I am the better twin.”

I rolled my eyes as Archer groaned, and Paige let out a little huff.

“Okay, I’m going to have to text Eliza you just said that,” Annabelle said with a laugh.

“First off, Eliza wouldn’t mind if I had to, even though we’d have to talk about it first, and she knows I’m the better twin.”

I looked at them both and snorted. “I’m going back to work, and I’m going to tell our parents tomorrow, so don’t tell them first.”

“Do not worry, I want nothing to do with that conversation,” Archer said quickly, and the rest of my siblings nodded.

I cringed. “Oh good. I can’t wait. You can tell Eliza, though, and Jacob. Hell, even Colton.”

Paige narrowed her eyes. “Thanks,” she snapped. “So glad you thought of him last.”

“No, I’m pretty sure he thought of Marc last,” Archer said dryly.

I winced. “I’m sorry I’m flustered. I keep forgetting how many of you are with people. It turns out everyone is but me.”

“Aw, well, at least you’re going to go spread your seed out into the world,” Archer said with a laugh, and all of us nearly gagged.

“Never say that again,” I said with a laugh. “Now I need to get to work, I have two phone calls, and then I’m going to go to an early lunch to go tell Laura and Michelle in person.”

“Oh, I’m so excited,” Paige said as she started to clap. “Do you think it’d be weird if I learned to knit a blanket for her?”

“You’re not even going to learn to knit a blanket for me?” Annabelle said.

“What? Mom’s going to do that for you, but I want to help. Oh, is she going to have a baby shower? What can I do? How can I help?”

Archer came over, put his hands over Paige’s mouth, and gave me a look. “I’ll handle her. Calm her down. She has babies on the brain.”

“Thank you.” I shook my head as Paige started trying to squeal through Archer’s fingers, and I just sighed.

That had gone better than expected, and I knew my parents would probably be okay with the circumstances, but I was happy with the way my siblings had reacted. It was a different situation, but people had done this before. It wasn’t new. I’d be able to help out my friend.

Images of Brenna filled my mind, and I pushed that to the side. I did not need to think about Brenna when I was thinking about having to donate sperm. That was crossing a line, and as it was, I didn’t need to think about Brenna again because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when I saw her.

After working for a few hours, I made my way to the same lunch spot I had met with the girls before. Laura and Michelle were there, iced teas in front of them, their hands clasped.

I gave them one look, and Laura began crying, and Michelle lifted her fists into the air. “I knew it!”

“I didn’t even say anything,” I laughed.

“You didn’t have to,” Michelle said. “This is…I love you. Seriously. I have never said that to a man before, but I just want you to know that I love you from the deepest part of my heart. You will be a part of this baby’s life, and I cannot believe I just said that we’re going to have a baby.”

She leaned forward, pressed her lips to mine, bringing a laugh out of me. Then she kissed her wife before Laura kissed me, and everybody started clapping, and I knew they had no idea what was going on, but from an outsider’s perspective, it probably looked like we were having a lot more fun than we were.

“I am so excited for you.”

“I’m so excited that you’re doing this,” Laura said. “You’re going to help us have a baby.”

“I’m going to do my best. And not in a weird sense.” I cringed as they laughed.

“Well, we can go over all the details later, but for now, let’s have a glass of champagne and just talk to one another because soon one of us isn’t going to be able to have alcohol for a while.”

“Because I should be pregnant,” Laura said as she threw her hands up in the air.

We did indeed have a champagne lunch, then I sat with my friends. I might admit this might not be the most conventional way to bring a life into the world, but I was damn glad that I was saying yes.

I was moving forward with my life, making decisions. My thoughts of Brenna and what part of me wanted didn’t need to be part of it. We had walked away from each other without saying a word, and that was for the best. I needed her to be my friend. I needed her to be in my life. That meant we had to put what had happened behind us and not think about it again, even if the thought of that wasn’t easy. For now, I was making other people happy. I’d find my place in the world—without Brenna by my side or in my thoughts.