Inked Devotion by Carrie Ann Ryan

Chapter 11

Benjamin

Ilooked down at the notebook in front of me and nearly crossed my eyes. Nothing looked right. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was supposed to do to fix that problem. The angles were all off, and I knew it had to be me. My client knew what they wanted. However, they also were open to change depending on what was suitable for the property itself. My family was building this custom home for new clients. My job was the massive grounds, only something was off about it. There were far too many angles and not enough levels. I’d already scrapped one set of designs, and they didn’t even touch on what the original plans had been when we had gotten the bid.

The house had changed remarkably during Beckett’s time with it, as well as Annabelle’s architectural plans, so it only made sense my plans would change as well. I needed to go out and get my hands dirty or just let myself clear my head, but today was not about being onsite. Today was getting paperwork done, meeting with different clients, and just getting through our business’s paperwork.

“Knock, knock,” Paige said from the doorway, and I looked up as my little sister walked in, a bottled iced tea in her hand.

“I thought you could use something.”

“Please tell me that’s caffeinated,” I grumbled as I held out my hand.

“Of course, and I made it, so you know it’s going to be good.”

I looked skeptically down at the reusable bottle in my hand then back up at my sister.

She scowled at me. “Ouch. That’s not very nice.”

“I’m kidding.”

I shook my head, opened up the bottle, and took a sip. It wasn’t sweet tea, but it was an aromatic honey tea and it hit the spot. I took a big gulp and exaggeratedly smacked my lips together as I let out a breath. “Amazing.”

“Jerk.”

“Hey, I’m sorry. The tea’s great. Almost as good as that peach tea you made me.”

Paige beamed. “I’m glad you like it. Now, get out.”

I blinked. “Get out? Where?”

“Anywhere. Just get away. I can hear you sigh and scowl from my desk, and today is not working. I’m kicking you out because I love you. Play in some dirt. I’m sure there are a few site visits that you can go check in on your team with.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m scheduled today to be in the office.”

“And we all know schedules can change.”

I took a staggering step back, my hand over my heart. “Are you okay? I’ve never once heard those words leave your mouth before. Do we need to talk?” I was only partially joking at that point.

My sister was the queen of the planners. She knew everybody’s schedule off the top of her head, as well as in her paper planner, and her digital one. She kept us in line and was one of the main reasons our company was a success. And she was telling me to go off script. Worry didn’t even begin to cover it.

“Paige.”

“I just have a lot of work to do, and Colton’s parents are in town.”

My eyes widened. “Have you met them before?”

“No, not until last night. And it went well. I’m pretty sure his dad loves me, and I’m pretty sure his mother doesn’t know what to do with me.” She cringed, and I set down my iced tea so I could wrap my baby sister in my arms. I held her close and kissed the top of her head.

“Why do you think that?” I wondered if I would have to kick Colton’s ass for letting my baby sister get hurt.

“She just acted as if I was just a normal girlfriend that would be in and out of his life like others. Not the woman that’s been with her son for over a year now. I mean, I realize I don’t have a ring on my finger, and that’s fine. Colton isn’t there yet.”

I let out a breath and then asked the question that I had wanted to ask but hadn’t yet, because it might hurt my sister. However, the time had come. At least, I hoped so.

“So, he’s not ready to get married?” I kept my voice low, trying not to spook her.

She gave me a look that told me she knew what I was doing.

“Colton and I just aren’t there yet. I know everyone thinks that any minute now, he’s going to get down on one knee and propose, but it’s not our fault that the rest of our family seems to like getting married as soon as they fall in love. We’re taking our time. And I do have time. I don’t need to race to catch up with the rest of the family.”

“As long as you’re sure.”

“I am sure, however, no matter what, that we are serious. I’m a little worried that his mother didn’t seem to understand that.”

“Did he stick up for you or anything?”

She nodded. “He told me that his mother doesn’t want to get close to anyone that she might actually like, and then have to walk away from. His older brother was in a relationship for six years before he and his girlfriend broke up. I think that’s why she acts the way that she does. At least, that’s what I’m going to tell myself. Either way, though, that doesn’t make me feel great, you know?”

“I don’t want him hurting you,” I whispered.

“It’s not hurting me.”

I raised a brow.

“It’s not,” she said with a laugh. “It’s more that I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do to make sure everybody knows that I’m okay.”

“I think you just did.”

“Maybe. Or maybe people are going to continually worry that little Paige is always the maid of honor and never the bride.”

“You’re my baby sister. Excuse me. I’m not in a relationship either.”

“You’re a guy.”

“Well, that’s just sexist of you.”

She snorted, reached up to kiss my chin. “I love you, you doofus.”

“I love you too, you dork. As for that boy.”

“That boy is a man.”

I didn’t like the way that she said man, so I breezed over it. “As for that boy, as long as he’s treating you right, I’m fine. And he is treating you right?”

She smiled, her face going all sappy, and I honestly did not want to think about exactly why. “He’s treating me perfectly. I promise you.”

“Good then. We don’t have a problem. As long as you’re happy.”

She smiled at me, and there was genuine happiness in that look. “I am happy. Colton makes me happy. I like what I’m doing. I like that we’re figuring it out and taking our time to avoid making a mistake. Would I like to start thinking about children and having a future? Of course. I’m human. I want babies. Yes, my favorite sister and only sister is having twins, and it’s making me all giddy and warm inside, but that just means I’m happy for her. Not too jealous of her.”

“Good,” I said, hoping she was telling the truth. Because I loved my sister, and I didn’t want her to be in pain.

“You know, Eliza and Beckett are looking into adoption, right?” I whispered.

“I do. And if they need family letters of recommendation or wherever that goes, I’m here for them. And you’re out there about to father a child, but you’re not going to be a dad, but I’m so freaking excited for you. You’re going to make that family so happy.”

“Well, thanks.” I could feel my ears redden, and I ducked my head. “That part is already done.”

“She’s pregnant?”

“No, my part’s done. I won’t hear for a couple of weeks about, you know, the other thing.”

She clapped her hands. “I’m so excited. I don’t want to think about exactly why I’m excited with this part of this whole process.”

I snorted and picked up my tea. “You know what? You’re right. I am going to dig into some dirt and see how my team’s doing. Maybe I’ll go down to the site and look at it in person. I can’t figure out what I want to do to fix it.”

“You will. It’s what you’re good at. You look at what’s in front of you, and you find a plan. That’s why I love you.” She kissed my cheek again and then tapped the earpiece in her ear before she answered the phone. “Mongomery Builders, Paige Montgomery speaking. How can I help you?”

I picked up my things and waved past Paige as her fingers moved like lightning over the keyboard, and I picked up my phone to call my team to let them know I was on my way, not to check on them, but because I needed a break.

By the endof the day, my back ached, I had dirt under my fingernails, but I had a plan. Paige was right. I had needed to get out of my head and just get to work. The sky had been blue, the clouds fluffy and not full of rain to drench us, though I was glad that there was going to be a short storm later tonight to water what we had planted. I hadn’t been needed other than as a strong back and willing arms. I had gotten things done. We were ahead of schedule on one site. On schedule on another. I had an idea for the project that had been plaguing me for the past week.

And I knew it wasn’t exactly all because of work that I had been doing my best not to focus on outside elements. I was worried about Laura and Michelle. I wanted them to have that baby. And it was going to be weird. There was no lie about that. It was going to be unconventional for me. But perfectly conventional for them. At least that’s how I thought about it. Family was what you made it, and they were making a family. My part of the process was technically done. It was just something I was going to have to reconcile with and work towards this new normal. Of course, that also made me think of Brenna, and Brenna and I weren’t speaking.

Oh yes, we had met at Riggs’ with everybody else, but we hadn’t danced, we hadn’t locked eyes or done anything normal. If it wasn’t for the fact that the rest of my family was dealing with their shit, I’m pretty sure that they would have figured it out on their own. I was surprised nobody had come to me and asked me what the weird undercurrent between Brenna and I was, because I sure as hell felt it.

Nobody had asked. Nobody wanted to know what happened on our road trip because it was as if they never would’ve thought Brenna and I would’ve slept together.

Yet, the thing was, I wasn’t even sure how it had happened. Hell, between my dreams and the way that my cock kept pressing against my zipper? I wanted to do it again, and that was going to be a problem.

I pulled into my garage and got out, knowing I needed to shower, and I just wanted a beer. I thought about calling up Beckett and heading down to Riggs’, but I knew tonight was date night with Eliza. Clay was dealing with a parent-teacher conference for the evening, so he was out. And Lee was out of town at a work function, so I was running out of people to hang out with. Archer rarely came out these days anymore, because he liked staying at home with his boyfriend, and while I didn’t mind that, I did miss seeing my brother. Even if Colton’s parents weren’t in town, I didn’t know Colton well enough as a friend to just hang out with him without Paige and the rest of the family.

I was running out of friends, everyone else was moving on with their lives, and somehow I was left behind, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

I quickly showered, then pulled on a pair of sweatpants before I walked shirtless out to the kitchen to grab a beer. I had just taken the first sip when someone banged on the door. I frowned before I made my way towards the front. I looked through the peephole. My eyes widened before I took a step back. I opened the door, and Brenna barreled through.

“We need to talk. We need to fucking talk.” She whirled and looked at me, her eyes wide. “You need to have a shirt on when we have this talk.”

“Hey, Brenna. You’re welcome to come inside.”

You’re welcome to do a lot of things.

I didn’t say that out loud.

“Please put on a shirt. We need to talk.”

I opened my mouth to make a joke or to say anything to figure out why the fuck she was here, and then I got to look at her. She was pale beneath any concealer she wore. Her hair was piled up on the top of her head, and it looked like she hadn’t slept the night before. Honestly, it looked like she hadn’t slept in a while, her hands were shaking, and I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. So I set down my beer and moved forward.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me?”

“I need you to put on a shirt.”

I cursed her. “I’m not going to put on a shirt and take time away from whatever you need to tell me. What’s wrong? Is someone hurt? Is it Beckett?”

Fear slid up my spine, and I looked around for my phone. I had put it down when I’d come in, but I hadn’t checked my messages in a while. Fuck. Was someone hurt?

“No, it’s not them. No, everything’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine. I should just come out and say it.”

I nodded quickly, my heart racing. “Are you sick? Oh shit, you had an appointment yesterday? Did everything not go okay?”

I swallowed hard and moved forward, putting my hands on her shoulders. She froze for the barest instant, and then I realized this was the first time I had touched her since our trip. Fuck. What the hell was wrong with me?

“My appointment. Right. It didn’t go as planned.”

“What’s wrong? Whatever happens, I’m here for you. I promise, Brenna. Just talk to me.”

She bit her lip before tears began to fill her eyes.

“Don’t cry,” I said, feeling as if someone had punched me right in the chest. I reached up with my thumb and wiped away her tears. “Don’t cry, Brenna.”

“I can’t…I can’t think. Benjamin. I’m pregnant.”

I blinked and tilted my head. “You can know that soon after the process? I didn’t know science was like that.”

In the distance, I swore I heard a bell ringing, something warning me that it wasn’t quite where my mind was going. Maybe I was just losing my mind. That had to be it.

“Benjamin. I’m pregnant. I didn’t get inseminated yesterday because I was already pregnant. At least a few weeks now. As in, I know the exact date of conception.”

I looked at her then, blinked, and took a staggering step back. “Pregnant?”

“I know,” she said, her voice going high-pitched. “I know. We used a condom.”

“I know. I remember using the condom. I remember taking care of the condom. I didn’t see a hole in it. I would’ve noticed if there was a hole in the fucking condom, wouldn’t I?” My voice kept getting louder, and I gulped deep breaths to try to stay sane.

It wasn’t working.

“I don’t know. We were drunk. And we cleaned up afterward. Oh my God, I was on fertility meds, Benjamin. All so I could get pregnant easier. Your fucking Montgomery sperm came at me.”

“What the fuck?”

I began to pace before I looked at my beer and chugged it.

“Oh, good for you. You can have a beer. I can’t do anything to calm my nerves because apparently, I’m pregnant. With child. With a Montgomery kid. With your kid. Oh my God, Benjamin. I haven’t been able to tell anyone, and it’s been twenty-four hours. I’ve just sat in my house just thinking and looking at my phone and saying I should call you and I should talk to you and then I could do nothing. I ignored all of the girls’ calls, and all I did was say I wasn’t feeling well. I’ve been lying to them this whole time.”

I sucked in a breath and then took her shoulders again. “Breathe. You’re rambling.”

“Ramble with me, will you? Panic with me. Oh my God, Benjamin. This wasn’t in the cards. This is not what I planned.”

“I know. I know. Fuck.”

“Exactly. I haven’t even told the rest of them that I wanted a baby. That I was on fertility meds, that I was going to get inseminated. By a stranger’s sperm. Not my friend’s.”

My last brain cell seemed to be on life support as I tried to keep up with what was happening.

“We slept together, and now we’re having a baby.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks again, even as my heart did that little somersault. Warmth filled me, and I let out a breath.

“A baby,” I whispered.

Her lower lip wobbled, and she nodded. “I didn’t plan on this, Benjamin. I was going to do this on my own. It wasn’t going to know the father, and I wasn’t going to deal with the complications. And now, what the hell are we going to do?”

I swallowed hard, wiping away her tears again. Brenna was one of my friends. She and Beckett had been closer for many years, but Brenna had been a vital part of my life over time. And we had slept together. We had made that conscious choice, even after a couple of drinks, we had still gone all in, and known we would have to face the consequences of our emotions, just not the consequences of everything else that came with it.

“I don’t know,” I whispered, and her face fell. “I’ve always wanted kids, Brenna.”

She cringed, nodded. “Me too. That’s why I was doing this. It seems you beat those other sperm to the punch.”

That brought me up short, and my eyes widened. “Oh God, Laura.”

“Is she pregnant too?” she blurted, and she put her hand on her mouth, her eyes comically wide.

“I don’t know. They’re going to tell me as soon as they find out. Holy shit.”

“Holy shit is right. Benjamin. We’re not dating. We were never dating. We slept together once, and we were going to never talk about it again and pretend it didn’t happen, and now look at us.”

“I know. But Brenna? Whatever happens, whatever the two of us figure out with this child, because you’re going to have a child, we will have a child, we are friends. Friends can be parents, right?”

I literally had no idea what I was saying. It felt as if one side of my face had gone numb, and there was that ringing sound in my ears, and I was just trying to keep up. Brenna was freaking the fuck out, and one of us had to be calm. And apparently, I was the calm Montgomery. I could not panic, I could not forget, so I had to be solid and logical.

My friend was having my baby.

We had slept together, just once, and now she was pregnant. With my kid.

And I had to be calm.

Somehow I had to be fucking calm.

“Friends can be parents,” she repeated. “What are we going to tell your family?” she asked, her eyes widening again.

I swallowed hard. “The truth. Because I have a feeling that no matter what happens, we’re going to need them, and I don’t think we can lie. I don’t think I’m going to ever be a good enough liar to keep this quiet.”

She nodded before she took a step back and rested her hands at her side. “I wanted to do this on my own.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but she shook her head. “But that isn’t what’s happening. So now we need to make a plan. Somehow. I’m not just going to hide this baby from you. I’m not a horrible, evil person, and you would always have been in my child’s life as one of the uncles or the friends, and now you’re going to be the father, and I need to figure out what that means. I’m never going to hide this baby from you. I’m never going to ask you for anything. I just want you to know that we exist.”

I cursed under my breath, moved forward, cupping her face with my hands. She stilled and looked up at me. “I was always going to be in your baby’s life. Right now? I’m not walking away. We’ll figure this out. Friends first always. Friends, as we said, can be parents. I’m not walking away, Brenna. We’ll tell the family. We’ll tell the others. No matter what happens, it’s you and me. We’ll figure this out. We have to.”

I looked at her, not knowing what else to say, and when she blinked up at me, I wanted to lower my head, wanted to kiss her and promise her and lie to her and say that we would figure everything out, and there’d be no bumps in the road. Instead, she looked at me, bent over, and threw up on my bare feet.

I sighed, pulled her hair back, and she kept throwing up, and I knew that if there was ever a symbol for what my relationship was with Brenna, I was standing in it. Fuck, I was going to be a father.

Now I was a little queasy right along with her.