Inked Devotion by Carrie Ann Ryan

Chapter 12

Benjamin

My palms were sweaty. I wasn’t sure my palms had been this sweaty since I was a teenager picking up my date for the prom. Hell, I wasn’t sure that was even the case then. Today was an all-new tension and nervousness riding me. We were going to a Montgomery dinner at Annabelle and Jacob’s home, where Brenna and I were going to tell them that we were having a baby. This was not normal and totally not in my wheelhouse. Yet, it had to be in that wheelhouse because we had had sex.

I was going to be a father.

I rested my hand on the doorway, knowing I needed to leave, but wanting to take a breath first.

I understood the mechanics of how this had happened, and yet it still hadn’t sunk in. Brenna was pregnant. We had created life, and now our lives would be forever entwined, and not merely because we were friends and had the same social circles.

Would it be a boy or a girl? Would they grow up and look like Brenna? With that same humor and wicked attitude? Would they be a little quieter and reserved? Would it be a little girl with pigtails? Or maybe a boy who wanted to learn to garden like me?

I let out a breath, knowing I was getting ahead of myself. I needed to read up on pregnancy and children and what it meant to be a parent. I didn’t even know the size of the baby at this point. Was it even the size of a grain of rice yet? Was it smaller than that? When would it be the size of a cantaloupe?

These were questions that I did not have any answers for, and it worried me. I usually had better answers for things like this, yet there was nothing. I was going to be a father. I didn’t know if I was ready.

I let out a breath and headed towards my car, knowing I needed to go pick up Brenna so we could show up as a united force. That had been my idea. Not because I felt like she needed me, but maybe because I needed her. Or perhaps because I wanted us to show up as one so we could leave together or lean on each other if things got bad. Not that I thought my family was going to shun us or be cruel, but they could be overwhelming. We were Montgomerys. It was what we did.

I headed towards Brenna’s place and tried to formulate my thoughts of how we would do this. We couldn’t just blurt it out, but maybe we could lead up to it? We didn’t have a plan. Mostly because we didn’t know what the family was going to do once they found out. We were going to be in each other’s corners even if we didn’t know what we were going to do together.

When I pulled into Brenna’s driveway, she was already standing on the porch, her cross-body bag over her shoulder, and she kept tapping her foot to whatever music was in her head. She had a dessert box in her hands, so I got out of my truck before she had a chance to move towards me and pulled the box towards me. “I’ve got this.”

“I’m fine. I may be pregnant, but I’m not without strength.” She winced as she said it, and my heart did that little leap thing.

“I can’t believe I just said that like it wasn’t a big deal. Like I’m used to it or something. Holy hell, I’m pregnant.”

My lips quirked into a smile even though I hadn’t planned on it. “Yes. We are pregnant.”

“I’m going to be the one that gets swollen ankles and deals with morning sickness.”

I raised a brow. “I’m pretty sure I’m the one that dealt with part of your morning sickness two days ago.”

She cringed as we got into the car, and I handed the cake box back over.

“I am sorry about that. It was a lot of vomit.”

“Thankfully, I wasn’t wearing shoes, so you didn’t ruin them.” I held back a shudder at that.

“It was on your bare feet, and that was probably kind of gross.”

“It wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, but it’s not the end of the world. I’m here for you. I sort of held your hair back even though I couldn’t move you to a place that would be more conducive to emptying out your stomach.”

“You did hold my hair back. See, we’ve got this? We’re totally a team.”

“We are a team. I’m not going to let you do this alone.”

“Thanks,” she whispered, before she rolled her shoulders back.

We pulled into Annabelle and Jake’s neighborhood. Most of my family lived decently close to each other around here, so it wasn’t as if we had that long of a drive, but with the way that Brenna’s skin tinted slightly green just then and my stomach rolled, I wished that we would have had a little bit more time on the road.

“So, we don’t have a plan,” she said as I pulled into the driveway.

I turned off the car and nodded. “Other than just being there. No, we don’t.”

“I’ve made cake,” Brenna blurted.

I looked over her. “I hoped it was cake. Or cupcakes. Or pretty much anything. I love your baking.”

She smiled at me then, and there wasn’t a hint of fear or nausea on her face. “Thanks for that.”

“It’s the truth. You’ve always known that.”

“Still, though, thank you. And like I said, I baked a cake. Maybe we can tell them after we’ve fed them sugar?”

“We go through the whole dinner pretending that we haven’t slept together and we aren’t having a baby?” She cringed, but I continued. “If we blurt it out at the beginning, it’ll not necessarily ruin dinner, but make it difficult.”

“That was my thinking.”

“Dessert. Here’s a cake, and by the way, we created a new life.”

She smiled then. “That makes sense. We’ve got a plan. A horrible plan that’s going to end up with more questions than answers, but we have one.”

“They’re going to ask us what our plans are,” I added.

“They don’t need to know them yet.”

“As we don’t have any plans other than making sure we don’t fuck up our friendship or this baby, yes, that’s all the plan that they’re going to need to know.”

“They’re going to have lots of questions, and perhaps answers.”

“And we’ll listen. No matter what, it’s you and me. Okay? No matter what happens, we’ve got this.” I reached for her hand and squeezed it, and she swallowed hard, smiling softly.

“We’ve got this. I still can’t believe this is happening, but okay.”

I shook my head before I pulled away so I could get out of the truck. I was over on her side, helping her out before she had a chance to fully wiggle down, then she narrowed her gaze at me.

“Your truck is too high.”

“I don’t even have a lift kit on it. I just leveled it out.”

“Still, you need running boards. Can you even fit a car seat back there?” she asked, and looked at the back of the cab.

I had my hands on her hips as I helped her down off the truck, and I swallowed hard. Mostly because of the feeling of her body pressed against mine, but then again, maybe the nervousness had to do with the idea that we were talking about car seats in my truck.

“We can. It’s a full extended cab, but I don’t know. Do you want to get a minivan?”

Brenna snorted. “I have an SUV, as you well know since you spent a few days in it. I don’t need a minivan.”

“I need the truck for work. I could afford to get another car, especially if the truck is for working on the company dime, but hell, I don’t know. I didn’t think about it. I don’t even know what we’re going to do about living situations.”

She froze and looked up at me. “Okay, first the Montgomerys, and then the rest of our lives. I don’t have time to think about the actual logistics of having a child with you.”

“Oh good, at least we’re on the same level here.”

“Of confusion and fear? Good. We’re at least here.”

“You’re here,” Annabelle said as she leaned against the doorway, her hands over the swell of her stomach. “And you brought dessert.” She held out her hands, wiggling her fingers. “Give me.”

“The cake is for after dinner,” Brenna said, and I figured if we had cake now, that meant we’d have to tell them about the baby now. And maybe that would be a good thing. Ripping it off like a band-aid.

That was a great way to think of my future child. Something painful.

“That’s not very nice. I want to see what kind of cake you made.”

“You’re welcome to see, but you’re not allowed to touch.”

“You’re just a tease.”

Annabelle leaned over, kissed Brenna on the cheek as Brenna surreptitiously handed over the cake box to me.

“Keep it safe, Benjamin.”

“I’ve got it,” I muttered, and Annabelle laughed at me.

“You’re my brother. You’re supposed to be the one on my side.”

“Sorry, the cake baker makes the rules.”

“Meanie,” she muttered, her eyes dancing.

“You’re looking good,” she said, looking between us and then at my truck. “I didn’t realize you were driving in together.”

“It’s amazing what happens when you hang out with your friends,” Brenna said, her eyes dancing as she moved into the house. Annabelle gave me a look, and I shrugged. Thankfully, Annabelle knew me well enough that shrugging was usually enough. She wouldn’t have actual questions yet, which was good because I didn’t have answers for her.

It seemed we were the last ones to arrive, as everybody was hanging out in the living room and kitchen areas. We had designed this house as a family, and I had done the landscaping on it. While Annabelle and Jacob did some of the upkeep, I did the significant things during the spring. I loved this place. It fit the two of them. And fit the children they were going to have.

Jesus, I was going to have to have a room for my kid in my house. And that kid would have a different room in Brenna’s house, because Brenna and I weren’t together. We weren’t going to raise this child as a unit underneath one roof. We would be living separately, so there were already going to be complications for this baby before they had even taken their first breath.

We were going about this completely wrong, and I wasn’t sure how we were supposed to fix it.

“You’re here,” Mom said as she went up to her tiptoes to kiss my cheek.

“Your dad and Jacob are out there grilling while Beckett, Colton, Lee, and Archer are on the patio, watching the two of them and pretending they don’t want to step in at the grill.”

I snorted. “Are you telling me that I need to go out there and help them?”

“You mean help annoy them? Maybe.”

I frowned. “Archer’s here, but is Marc here?”

“He’s on his way. He had an emergency at work, so they needed to take separate vehicles, but Archer said that he would be here because they had something to tell us.”

Her eyes filled with something I couldn’t quite read, and I swallowed hard.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they’re moving in together? Or, I don’t know. I do know that Archer seems happy. Therefore, I am happy.”

“Good.”

I leaned down and kissed the top of her head and then went deeper into the house. Paige was bouncing in the kitchen, helping Brenna and Eliza with some of the meal prep. The guys were indeed back on the deck, but came in every once in a while to bring in different items. They were all working cohesively as if we had done this a thousand times before. And maybe we had. And the odd part was that soon there would be children in this. Annabelle was having twins soon, and then Brenna and I would be joining them.

We were expanding the Montgomerys, just not in the ways that I thought we would.

Brenna met my gaze, anxiety filling her eyes, but I did my best not to stress out or show anybody that I was just as anxious as she was. We needed to tell them that we were having a baby. And I wasn’t sure how we were going to do that.

The doorbell rang again, and I looked over my shoulder as Mom let Marc in. Archer came strolling into the living room and looked over at his boyfriend.

“You’re here.”

“I told you I would be.” He leaned down and kissed Archer square on the mouth. “I’m sorry I’m late. However, I’m here. Promise you.”

“Good.”

And then Archer reached up his hands to push Marc’s hair from his face, and my mother let out a squeal.

“Is that what I think it is?” Mom exclaimed, and I looked over and blinked.

“It is,” Archer said, his cheeks red.

“You’re engaged?” Mom asked, and everyone started talking at once. People were crying, hugging Archer close, patting Marc on the back.

I just shook my head, a smile playing on my lips, as Brenna came to my side and leaned against me. “Well, maybe today isn’t the day,” she whispered.

I looked at her then and shook my head. “Maybe we wait?”

It would be customary to wait until she was in her second trimester, in case something happened, but we had wanted to tell the Montgomerys as soon as possible because keeping secrets wasn’t going to be good for us. And we had a lot of planning to do, and that wasn’t going to be easy with keeping those secrets.

I let out a breath, and moved towards Archer, and hugged him tightly. “I’m happy for you, little bro.”

“Are you?”

“Of course I am.”

“Good, you just looked a little scared just then.”

I shook my head and hugged Archer even tighter. “No, that’s not it. I’m just really fucking happy for you.”

“And you,” I looked over at Marc. “You’re about to be a Montgomery.”

Marc raised a brow. “I’m not sure what last name we’re picking.”

“Oh, that doesn’t matter,” Paige said, and she hugged Marc close. Marc stiffened, but I knew that was just because he wasn’t a huge touchy-feely guy. Too bad he was marrying into the Montgomerys.

“What do you mean, that doesn’t matter?” he asked.

“You’re marrying into the Montgomerys. So even if Archer takes your last name, you’re still going to be one of us.”

“One of us,” everyone, including the non-Montgomerys, repeated, and we all looked at each other before we burst out laughing. Marc’s lips twitched into a smile before he pulled Archer to his side.

“Well then, that isn’t a creepy welcome at all.”

“We try,” Beckett said, with Eliza in his arms.

Brenna let out a little moan, and people looked towards her before she held up her finger and ran towards the bathroom. I cursed under my breath and followed her. Fuck it. I wasn’t going to hide that she needed help or that I wanted to help her, but this might complicate situations.

“Brenna?” Beckett asked as he followed us.

I held up my hand. “I’ve got this.”

“You’ve got what?” my twin asked, his eyes wide.

I stepped into the bathroom, knelt beside Brenna’s shaking form, and held her hair back as I reached for a washcloth to wet it.

“It’s fine. I’ve got you.”

“This sucks, Benjamin.”

She leaned into me, and I helped her clean up as she let out a shaky breath.

“What’s going on?” Beckett asked, and I looked up to see my entire family standing in the doorway, their eyes wide as they looked between the two of us.

“It’s nothing. Brenna’s just not feeling well.”

“You’re lying,” Beckett said, his voice a whisper.

“Oh my God,” Paige exclaimed, her hands over her mouth.

“So, I was going to feed you cake first,” Brenna said with a laugh, and I sat down completely on the floor, Brenna in my lap as I helped wipe her mouth after she had thrown up. I reached over, flushed the toilet, lowered the lid, and looked at my family.

“I guess there’s a few things we need to tell you,” I said, and my mother let out a little squeal.

“Are you serious?” Archer asked.

I winced, feeling terrible. “Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to steal your thunder.”

“No thunder stolen at all,” Archer added, and Marc nodded.

Marc opened his mouth then shook his head. “This family sure does like to do things big.”

“Go big or go home, apparently,” Colton said, meeting the other man’s gaze.

“How did this…? What is this…? What the hell is going on?” Annabelle asked, her mouth dropping.

Brenna looked at me then let out a sigh. “There’s a lot we need to tell you, but Benjamin and I are having a baby.”

Everyone started talking at once, and I held up my hands, quieting them.

“We will answer your questions, but maybe not when we’re sitting on the floor, and we need to get cleaned up.”

“A baby,” my dad whispered. “You’re having a baby.”

“Looks like,” Brenna said with a laugh. “Seriously, we’ll explain everything that we know. Just give us a minute.”

They all looked at each other before they scrambled away, and I knew that dinner was probably going to be on hold, and the interrogation would soon begin.

“Do you want to make a break for it?” Brenna asked, and I laughed.

“I think they’d find us.”

“It’s true. You guys sometimes suck like that.”

“Once a Montgomery,” I muttered, and Brenna winced.

“Things are complicated.”

“Just a little bit.”

“We can’t change anything too much. You know? We can’t make things more complicated than they already are.” I didn’t understand what she meant until I looked down exactly where she was sitting and the fact that she kept rubbing against a certain part of my anatomy.

I winced. “Sorry.”

“No. It’s fine. I just, this wasn’t exactly how I wanted tonight to go.”

“It’s the way it’s gone, so we’ll figure it out.”

“Maybe. Or maybe it will just make things worse.”

“That’s the spirit,” I said as I kissed the top of her head, and she sighed.

“Let the interrogation begin,” she muttered.

“Well, the good news is we can always shift the focus to Archer and Marc.”

“We ruined it, didn’t we?”

“I don’t think so, more that we have no plans, and they probably have more plans, so we can make it a family interrogation. Before we escape.”

“Escape. Escape sounds good.”

I let out a breath and then helped her stand up, before I looked at her then, and I did my best not to want more.

Because that wasn’t in the cards, we were going to be parents, not lovers.

We had enough on our plates without adding that.

At least that’s what I told myself.