Inked Devotion by Carrie Ann Ryan

Chapter 15

Benjamin

Ifrowned as I went over my schedule for the next day and sipped my coffee. I had two consults with the rest of the family and then another consult by myself. That would take most of the day, and I wasn’t even sure when I would be able to get my hands dirty. That was understandable, though, because sometimes my job as the boss of this arm of Montgomery Builders meant that I couldn’t do what I thought I was good at. Instead, I got to work on paperwork while my team got to dig in the dirt.

Someone knocked on the door, pulling me from my thoughts. I frowned, taking my coffee with me as I made my way over.

I looked through the peephole and sighed as I opened the door.

“Hello, I didn’t realize you were here. Going to punch me again?”

Beckett winced as he walked in, Lee behind him.

“No punching needed,” Lee stated as he stared at my coffee. “Do you have more of that?” he asked, sounding practically giddy.

“I do. It’s in the kitchen. Help yourself to some.”

“Is that sarcasm?” Lee asked, winking, and I rolled my eyes. “Not sarcasm, just being polite since you’re in my home.”

“I’m sorry,” Beckett muttered as he poured himself a cup of coffee and did the same for Lee.

My brows shot up, and I met Lee’s gaze.

Lee shrugged. “It’s been a long morning.” Lee took the coffee cup from Beckett and sighed deeply into it. “Mm, are these the beans Brenna gave you?” he asked, not so innocently.

I narrowed my gaze. “Yes. Got a problem with that?”

“I see you’re defensive,” Lee sighed. “However, not with me. It’s probably the twin next to me.”

“I’m an idiot,” Beckett said, and I shrugged and took a sip of my coffee. “Not going to say you’re not, because, well, you are. I guess so am I.”

Beckett rolled his eyes. “I was just so shocked, and honestly? With the way I treated Brenna before, I think I conflated the two in my head. I shouldn’t have tried to hit you.”

I shrugged. “I’m not going to get in the way of you and Brenna.”

“There is no me and Brenna. We’re just friends.”

“I know that, but I’m still going to get growly. Sue me.”

“I can’t believe that you guys are having a kid.” Beckett shook his head. “It’s just so out of the blue.”

“I know, but we’re making it work. Somehow. We talked about the whole childcare aspect and work, but we haven’t gotten into everything else.”

“Like where you’ll live or if you’re dating?” Lee asked, raising a brow.

I swallowed another sip of coffee, and Beckett and Lee glanced at one another.

Beckett cursed under his breath, pulled out a ten-dollar bill, and handed it over to Lee.

I looked between the two of them. “What was that for?”

“I figured you two would get together, while Beckett thought that you would take your time and do your quiet, introspective thing while you told yourself you shouldn’t be with Brenna even though you two make sense.”

I set down my coffee. “What?”

“You two, you clearly slept together again, and now you’re working things out. This is going to be interesting—I kind of like the idea of it. I see the way she looks at you and the way that you look at her. I don’t know why it took me so long to piece it all together.”

I looked at my brother and then at Lee, who was still spouting off random shit that didn’t make sense to me.

“We’re not. I mean, I don’t know what we’re doing.”

“Well, you’d better figure it out before that kid comes along, or you’re going to fuck things up.” Beckett winced.

Lee snorted. “This is coming from a man who nearly fucked things up with Eliza when things surprised us both, so I think you should take that with a grain of salt.”

“And this is coming from a man who has no plans to get serious with anyone anytime soon or ever.” Beckett shook his head.

Lee winked. “You and Brenna? You’re going to have a life together. It’s going to be something that you can’t just walk away from. However, you two fit. You’re both quiet sometimes and growly other times. You guys have been friends as long as all of us have, except for the actual Montgomerys. We all joke that Beckett and Brenna are the best of friends, and maybe that used to be the case, but now we’ve all jumbled together in this group that hangs out as one. You’re sleeping with her, and you’re all tongue-tied, so that means you have some feelings for her. You wouldn’t be sleeping with her and complicating the situation if you didn’t.”

I set both hands down on the kitchen island and closed my eyes, letting out a breath. “I like her. I always have. It’s probably a mistake, but I can’t help it.”

“Just don’t hurt each other,” Beckett whispered.

My gaze shot to his. “I don’t want that to happen.”

“Do your best not to screw it up. Which is pretty much the advice everybody gave me when it came to Eliza.”

I snorted. “Don’t screw up. I can try that.”

“Good. Are you heading over there today? Going to make more plans, or are you going to wing it? Because winging it in this family is starting to work,” Lee said as he took another sip of his coffee. “Damn, I’m going to need to ask Brenna about her bean distributor. I’m a little jealous of this coffee.”

“How much coffee have you had?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at Lee.

“Too much. My deadline is kicking my ass, but it’s fine. I kind of like the fact that all of you guys are settling down. I’m the last one standing.”

“You do realize that that’s the perfect thing to say before you fall?” Beckett asked.

“Hey, I didn’t say I was falling,” I sputtered.

Lee and Beckett gave each other a look before they raised their brows at me.

I threw up my hands. “Seriously. I’m not falling. It’s way too soon for that. We’re just taking it slow.”

“You guys are having a baby. I don’t think slow is what you’re doing,” Lee corrected.

“Those are two separate things. Our relationship, and the baby.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?” Beckett asked, tilting his head. “Do you hear the nonsense slipping through your lips? You can’t separate the two, and you know that. You’re just saying that you want the two separated because you’re afraid to fuck it up. I get it. It’s scary, but you can’t separate the two. So, while you say that you’re taking it slow and you’re not going to complicate your situation, it is complicated. Every adult relationship is, you’re just throwing in more wrenches than usual.”

“You’re saying that Brenna and I shouldn’t sleep together again?” I asked, my stomach tightening. Because maybe that would be the answer. If we fucked this up and decided that we weren’t working, we couldn’t just walk away. Then again, would we ever have? Our lives were so entangled because of our friendship and families, walking away wouldn’t have been an option before. Let alone now, with the baby.

I rubbed my temples, and Lee sighed. “And now he’s getting it.”

“I got it before. I just ignored it.”

“No, you didn’t. I know you didn’t.”

I looked up at Beckett. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“Then don’t. I’m not going to tell you what to do because I don’t have any answers for you. I love you. You’re my fucking twin. My other half that’s not my actual other half,” he said with a laugh.

“I guess other halves don’t work when you’re getting married, and I’m, well, with Brenna.”

“Good. You’ve made the first cognitive leap,” Lee added. “You’re with Brenna. Now think about what your feelings are towards Brenna. I know, it’s me saying this. Feelings? Relationships? Commitment? Shudder, shudder, shudder. However, make a choice. Figure out what she wants. And remember that we’re here for you. Maybe just to confuse you further, but we are here.”

They changed the subject to work, and wedding plans, even though we didn’t get into it too deeply, and I forced myself to think. At least about the topics at hand and not about Brenna.

I was heading over there later today to work on her garden while she was at work. We had planned it. It was something that I had always done as her friend. Now we weren’t friends anymore. Not that way.

We kept trying to put things into boxes, as if those labels would make sense and make things easier.

I had a feeling all it was doing was complicating the situation.

By the time we finished our coffees, and the guys headed out, I was more confused than ever, and yet I knew if I just focused on what was in front of me, I would be fine. It was what I did. The rest of my siblings were the ones who panicked or needed to run full steam ahead into whatever situation they were in to fix it. I was the one that sat back and pieced things together to make my choices. The idea that I wasn’t right then told me that maybe I did need to breathe a bit more and focus on what I had and what I didn’t.

Brenna wasn’t home by the time I got to her house, but that was fine. I might not have a key to her place, just like she didn’t have a key to mine, as we weren’t there yet, but I had everything I needed in my truck. I had to weed out a few things, and I had a plant in the back of my truck that I was going to plant for her.

She had always wanted a bottlebrush in the front of her house but hadn’t had time to figure out where it should go. Well, I had the time, and here I was.

I got to get digging, knowing where I wanted to put it and where Brenna would want it as well. She knew I was coming over but didn’t know about the bottlebrush. That was fine with me because I wanted to surprise her. This was something she wanted and something I could help with. I might not have any answers for anything else we were doing, but this I could do.

I was just getting the hose out to water the newly planted mini tree when Brenna pulled into the driveway and parked beside me. She’d opened the garage door but didn’t bother to park inside. Instead, she got out, her eyes wide. “You said you were going to work on the garden a bit, but I didn’t know you’d be doing all this. Is that a bottlebrush? For me?” She clapped her hands together and came over to me before she threw herself into my arms. I dropped the hose and gathered her close, laughing as I held her.

“I’m covered in dirt.” I looked down at her. “And you are covered in flour and frosting. It’s an interesting mix.” I kissed her hard on the mouth, and she sank into me, and it felt right. As if we had been doing this for years rather than just these few moments.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you. You know I could have helped you with it though, pick the plant out.” She put her hands on her hips, looked around. “It’s what I would’ve chosen, as you know, and yet I could have helped. You didn’t need to do everything on your own.”

I rolled my eyes, picked up the hose again, and began watering the new plants. “You know that’s what I say to you. You don’t need to do everything on your own.”

“I don’t. Seriously. Right?”

“It’s nice to do things for you. That it feels like you could use help with things. So just take this as a gift, and take a look at the new beauty.”

“It’s gorgeous, Benjamin. Thank you.” She looked down at herself, and then me. “We are a complete mess.”

“Pretty much. I was almost done and was going to head home and shower.”

She bit her lip, then looked down my body again. I could practically feel the heat off her gaze. “What do you say we shower here? And we make something to eat for dinner? Maybe we can come up with some plans.”

I didn’t want to let it bother me that the excuse she would use for the two of us being together was plans alone. As if we couldn’t just be with one another without having to have an excuse. Or maybe I was just thinking too hard.

“You know what, a shower would be nice. And dinner.”

“Perfect,” she said, and gestured towards the garage. “I’m going to go bring a few things inside. Do you need help out here?”

“I’ve got it,” I answered, shaking my head. “I’ll see you in a second.”

She bit her lip, smiled at me, and then walked inside.

I wasn’t grumpy, but I was overthinking things. I needed to take things as they came and not to make trouble where there wasn’t. That’s what my brothers would say, so that was what I would do.

I finished watering the plants, put away my tools, and walked into the house through the garage. Brenna was nowhere to be seen, but I heard her singing to herself from the back of the house. She sounded better than she had, and she had told me this morning that she had been able to keep some of the soup down from the night before.

I had to count that as progress because I didn’t like seeing her sick.

I followed her voice, wondering if the shower invite had been a true invite or just an instruction.

Brenna was in the bathroom, just stripping off her shirt when I walked in. She froze, her hands above her head, her lace-clad breasts right there in front of me, and I couldn’t help but look.

“I wasn’t very clear earlier about the whole shower thing.”

I met her gaze. “We need to get clean,” I teased, not thinking about anything serious. That would just make things too complicated.

Even though the voice in the back of my head told me they were complicated. But we were just playing pretend at this point. At least that’s what it felt like.

And I didn’t want to think anymore. Thinking hurt, and I was afraid of what I would come up with if I truly let myself get through everything in my head.

I moved forward and gently pulled the shirt off her arms up over my head, brushed my lips to hers, and she groaned, wrapping her body around me.

“You are dirty.”

“And you taste like frosting,” I muttered. I bit her lip, and she groaned.

“Keeping things down?”

Smooth, Benjamin. Smooth.

She made a face. “Yes, but that’s not sexy talk.”

“Not everything that we talk about has to be sexy, Brenna.” I didn’t know why I was harping on this, and when she gave me a weird look, I pushed that aside.

“Sorry, but are you keeping things down?”

“For twenty-four hours so far. I’m counting that as a win. Now, I seriously need a shower.”

“We can do that.”

I reached around her into the shower and turned on the hot water before I stripped off my shirt over my head.

She swallowed hard, her gaze going down my body. I loved how she looked at me when she looked at my chest, or anywhere on me. She always had such a hunger in her gaze that she did her best to quell, but there was no hiding it.

Just like I knew there was no hiding the need on my face.

I kissed her again, not wanting to focus on that, and the two of us took our time stripping one another before we stepped into the shower. I put my back to the spray, protecting her, as she kissed me, her hands going between us. She gripped my cock, squeezing slightly, and I let out a moan. “You keep doing that, and I’m not going to last very long.”

“I think you’d be surprised.” Then she went to her knees, and I sighed. I slid my hand through her hair, the water slicing over us as she wrapped her plump lips around my dick.

She hummed along my length and I moaned, doing my best not to move. If I did, I’d go too hard too fast, and I’d fuck her mouth until I came, spilling my seed all over those pretty breasts of hers. And of course, that image nearly had me coming, so I pulled away and tugged her up so I could press my lips to hers.

“I wasn’t done yet,” she complained.

“I’m going to fuck that pretty mouth soon. I’m going to come down that throat of yours and all over your tits. And you’re going to fucking like it, but first, I’m going to need to lick that pussy of yours.”

Her eyes widened a bit at my dirty talk, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she stepped back slowly to the seat built into the wall, spread her legs for me, and held her knees wide. “Like what you see?” she asked, and I grinned.

“Fuck yeah,” I said, before I went to my knees, latching onto her pussy. She tasted of sweet cream and bliss. I spread her folds, opening her more to my gaze. She shuddered in my hold, the water still pounding down around us as she kept her legs wide for me. I pressed her thighs even wider before I delved between her lower lips, sucking at her clit, and pushing my tongue deep inside. She shuddered, whispering my name, and I nearly came at the sound.

I wanted her to scream my name. I wanted to feel her around my dick. I wanted it all.

Only I needed to take my time.

I kept kissing her, sucking up her sweetness before she froze for an instant, and she broke. She was beautiful when she came, her body flushing, her nipples hardening into tight little points. I looked up at her as I sucked down her orgasm, needing to send her nearer to the crest again.

Then she tugged on my shoulders, and I obliged, standing so I could get closer to her.

It took maneuvering, but I lifted her up, grateful for the non-skid in the shower, pressed her back to the wall, and speared her in one thrust. Hot water fell down around us, keeping us wet and slippery and turning me on even more. She dug her nails into my back, calling out my name as I fucked her hard into the shower wall. Her pussy clamped around my dick, and I tightened my jaw, my hands digging bruises into her thighs as I fucked her hard.

When she came again, I couldn’t help it. I spilled into her, groaning her name as I took her mouth with mine. My dick twitched as I pumped into her, my orgasm hard and long, as she panted, both of us shaking.

What felt like forever, and also no time at all passed, and then she was kissing me, pushing my hair back from my face in the shower.

“I think we’re clean,” she whispered, and I snorted.

“No, I think I’m going to have to soap you up,” I whispered, keeping her still against that wall. “I can’t wait to wash those pretty breasts of yours.”

She rolled her eyes. “You just had your mouth on my pussy, and suddenly you want my breasts too?”

“I want everything, Brenna.”

I hadn’t meant to say that.

Her eyes widened marginally, and the water grew colder. “What are we doing?” she asked, and I knew this wasn’t about the shower.

I swallowed hard. “I don’t know.”

The truth was, I had no idea what we were doing.

I didn’t want to stop, even if it was a mistake.