Inked Devotion by Carrie Ann Ryan

Chapter 13

Benjamin

Ilooked over at Brenna before I picked up my coffee. She stared at me, her eyes a little glazed as she drank her decaf tea and blinked.

It was the day after the Montgomery dinner, and I still felt as if we hadn’t truly left. Perhaps we were still there, listening as everyone spoke at once, with so many questions and very few answers.

“We left. We just left.”

I shook my head at Brenna’s words, took another sip of my coffee. Brenna had come over that morning soon after I had woken up, without either one of us saying that she needed to come over. I had been planning on going over to her house, but I had wanted to give her time to wake up. Obviously, that hadn’t been needed for either one of us, considering she hadn’t slept, and neither had I.

“You were sick. I took you home. And yes, we ran. Ran like hellfire was behind us, and we did not want to have to deal with the questions.”

She looked up at me then and snorted. “Sometimes your humor escapes me.” She narrowed her eyes, her lips twitching into a smile.

“Sometimes, my humor doesn’t make any sense. I don’t think I was being funny. There might’ve been actual flames shooting at us.”

“Maybe only flames shooting at me. I defiled the final Montgomery.”

I nearly spit out my coffee. “You think you defiled me?” I thought back to that evening, that sweaty night of kisses and touching and everything, and swallowed hard. “You’re right. It was all you. You totally defiled innocent me. I had been a virgin. A sweet innocent virgin that had never laid eyes on breasts before.”

She tossed her wadded-up napkin at me, and I caught it, shaking my head. “Jerk. Seriously though, everybody looked so confused. I don’t blame them as I’m still confused as to how it happened.”

“It did happen. We can’t take it back.”

“I don’t want to. I don’t think.” She frowned as she said it and then put her hand over her stomach. It was still flat, since she wasn’t that far along, and I swallowed hard, my instincts kicking into gear.

“I’m not ready for this at all. You probably read all the books and know what’s going to happen. I know nothing.”

“You’ll catch up. You’re smart. I have books. So many books.”

I shook my head. “And you’ll give me titles? Names? I’m going to need a list. Hell, Paige probably already has a binder for us.”

Brenna looked at me before we both burst out laughing. “You know, you’re not even kidding. Now she probably has a day planner for how you’re going to look these next nine months.”

“I’m sure she already picked out the baby’s college. Hell. I don’t even know when I’m ever going to fall asleep again, and she probably already has this down.”

She bit her lip. “It’s fine. We’ll figure it out. I was going to figure it out on my own, and now we’ll do it together. Just not together.”

I swallowed hard, ignoring the odd feeling of disappointment, because this was for the best. Us not being with one another as we dealt with the ramifications of what had happened.

“I need to head into work; I have a big cake coming in today that I need to work on, and I need to start training my replacements.”

“Oh shit, yeah. Because you are your own boss.”

“And my maternity leave means that I might lose business if I’m not careful and plan ahead. Maybe I do need Paige to work for me.”

“I’m sure she would,” I said softly, before I let out a breath. “We’ll figure it out.”

“I know we will,” she said softly. “We’re not going to have another choice. Eventually, we’re going to have to get answers to your family. And mine.” She paused. “Oh my God, I didn’t even think about telling my family. I was so worried about the Montgomerys I forgot about my family.”

I smiled. “We Montgomerys tend to do that.”

“Well, crap. They’re going to know. They’re going to know precisely when it happened, and they’re going to think somehow they’re behind it.”

“They weren’t, though. It’s just you and me.” I ran my hand down her face, wondering what the hell I was doing.

“That is a lie. It can’t be just you and me. We have two extensive and invasive families. They may be excellent and outstanding and will help us with everything, but they’re not easy.”

“I know. However, we’ll deal with it.”

“I don’t know what ‘deal with it’ means. So, for now, I’m going to pretend that I know what I’m doing. We all know that’s not the case, and then we will figure out what to tell everybody else. They’re going to want more answers than ‘it just happened.’ We don’t know what we’re doing, but we’re going to make a plan.”

“Those are pretty much the words we said, and then we ran out of there.”

“We’re going to need to make it up to Archer and Marc as well.”

That made me wince. “You’re right. I know we were planning on telling my family last night so there would be no more secrets, yet I kind of wish we wouldn’t have. We should have tried to hide it at least another day.”

“Maybe I can bake them a cake. They like cake.”

I played with the edge of her hair, needing to touch her and knowing I shouldn’t. “They do. They love your cake.”

“You didn’t mean anything dirty by that?”

“No, but now I’m thinking dirty things. I’m sorry. You brought it up.”

Her gaze went to my dick, and I groaned, adjusting myself. “That’s not what I meant either.”

“We used to be able to tell dirty jokes without thinking about one another like this.”

“Brenna,” I said, exasperated. “I’ve always had the hots for you. There. I said it. You’re hot. But we’ve been friends, so therefore I’ve never really let myself think beyond that. But I wouldn’t have slept with you if it had never crossed my mind before. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

I knew I was probably saying all of the wrong things, but I couldn’t take it back.

“Well, I guess if we’re being that honest, I’ve thought about it too. And not just because you’re Beckett’s twin. That got weird. I’m not into twins. I swear.”

She looked at me then, and I snorted. “You’d be surprised how many people are.”

“It’s not me. I swear. Now, we’re going to figure this out. Just not now. Then I’m going to make Archer and Marc a cake, and we’re going to apologize for ruining their night.”

“I’d say maybe we’ll help host an engagement party for them, but I think we need to start saving money. College is expensive.”

Brenna’s eyes filled with tears, and I cursed before I went around the island. I hugged her close and kissed the top of her head. I couldn’t help it. This was Brenna. My Brenna. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t know if it’s hormones or just lack of sleep. But it’s starting to settle in. This is real.”

“As real as it gets.”

My phone buzzed, and Brenna let out a laugh. “It’s Laura. You should probably answer that.”

I cringed. “Oh, God. I forgot, yesterday was their big day.”

“As in?”

“As in, they were going to find out if she’s pregnant or not. Holy fuck.”

Brenna’s eyes widened as I answered the phone and tried not to sound like the world was crashing around my ears.

“Benjamin? We’re pregnant! It worked. We’re going to be moms. And you’re going to be the best uncle. How amazing is that? I’m just so excited for all of us. Michelle’s over here crying, or she would take the phone from me, and I just keep babbling. I’m going to have a baby. We’re going to have a baby. I love you so much. You have no idea how much this means to us—anything you need, ever. We’re here for you. I love you so much. Now I got to go. My wife is crying, and I’m pretty sure she wants to make out. We’re having a baby!”

“Congratulations,” I said, and then the phone went dead.

She hadn’t even let me say anything else; I wasn’t even sure she had heard me say anything at all.

I looked down at the phone and then at Brenna, as her eyes widened impossibly. “Your sperm is amazing.”

I burst out laughing. “Oh good. That would be something I put on my business card. Master of landscape architect, and—”

“Masturbator?” Brenna cut in, and we both burst out laughing.

“Good, we can laugh through this. As we figure out whatever the fuck we’re going to do.”

“Okay, we both work, we make plans, we say we’re sorry to your family, and then we tell both of our families in truth everything that’s going on.”

“And friends first,” I said, even though some part of me knew that that wasn’t exactly what I wanted. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I didn’t think friends would be the only answer.

I wasn’t sure, and I was afraid that I was going to make another mistake. I didn’t say anything.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this, Benjamin,” she whispered.

I froze, looking down at her. “You’re the readiest person I know.”

“Maybe. Or maybe I am losing my mind.”

“I’m here, Brenna. For everything.”

She nodded, and without another word, I helped her to the front door. I wasn’t sure what there was to say. I was afraid that if I kept speaking, I would say too much. So instead, I let her walk away and told myself that this was for the best. Even though I wasn’t sure that was the case.

I had just gone back into the kitchen to clean up our mugs when someone banged on the door.

I opened it without thinking, figuring it had to be Brenna. “Did you forget something, Bren?” I asked, and dodged my twin’s fist.

“What the fuck?” I asked, scrambling back.

“That’s my question,” Lee said as he pulled Beckett back, and Archer moved in, pushing me away.

“Why are you pushing at me? Beckett just threw a punch at me. What the fuck, man?”

“Just in case,” Archer mumbled.

“What the hell? You got Brenna pregnant? What the hell is wrong with you? She’s our best friend. You can’t just fuck our best friend.”

I blinked at him. “It wasn’t like that, and watch your tone when you’re talking about Brenna.”

“Sure as hell sounds like it. A one-night stand on some seemingly mysterious road trip, and suddenly she comes back pregnant? We can do the fucking math, Benjamin. What is wrong with you? You know Brenna. She’s sweet and caring and a wonderful fucking person. You don’t just do that to her.”

“Okay. We were going to come over here to talk to you and figure out exactly what happened without your parents around,” Lee said, his voice calm. Probably too calm. “I see we may have come prematurely.”

“I have a joke about that, but I don’t think this is the right time,” Archer put in.

I cursed under my breath. “I’m shocked that Jacob isn’t here with you. Or Colton, or Marc. Hell, bring everybody here to kick my ass. Maybe I deserve it.”

“You sure as fuck do. It’s our Brenna, Benjamin. She was always off-limits.”

I narrowed my eyes, annoyance gone, rage taking over. “So you wanted her? You marked her as off-limits to yourself even though you wanted her, and now it’s a thing? What’s your deal, twin of mine?”

Beckett leaned closer. “I never wanted her like that. That’s the whole point. We’re friends. You don’t fuck friends.”

“Well…” Lee said, and Archer snorted.

“Yeah, we don’t say that because a lot of our friends tend to fall for one another. However, we’re going to be calm and rational about this.” Archer looked at me. “Jacob is at the sonogram appointment with Annabelle. Everything is fine. It’s just a routine appointment. Colton is working, as is Marc. I’m sure they would have loved to be here for the show. Dad isn’t here because we decided not to be here with the parents where you’d have to explain to our mom and dad why you chose to sleep with a girl who’s been in our lives for what seems like forever and get her pregnant.”

I somehow followed all of that and growled. “I didn’t decide to get Brenna pregnant. It happened.”

“Do you not know how to use a condom? I’m pretty sure we went through the same talk with dad.”

“What is your problem?” I glared at Beckett. “Why are you acting like this?”

“She’s our best friend,” Beckett shouted, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I hurt her before. By not telling her everything, not opening up to her when I got hurt, and then you just come in and, what? Sleep with her?” He let out a breath. “She’s our Brenna, Benjamin.”

I pressed my lips together. “Brenna and I have nothing to do with you. I’m sorry that might hurt your delicate sensibilities, but you are not part of the equation, Beckett. You have never been, other than being my brother and her friend. I needed to go on that road trip because I needed to think. I needed to think about what I was going to do about Laura and Michelle.” I didn’t mention that they were also pregnant because that was not going to help the situation. “Brenna had her problems, and one thing led to another, and we slept together. It was mutual consent, something we both wanted at the time. We’re friends now. We’re going to stay friends. Somehow, we’re going to raise a fucking baby. Don’t you go to Brenna and make her feel like she did something wrong, because she didn’t. We made a choice, and now we’re dealing with what’s happening. We don’t have a plan because this is still new for us. We would like it if you would stop being a fucking asshole and get over yourself.”

“I’m not the asshole here,” Beckett grumbled, but there was no heat in it. “Brenna?” he asked incredulously.

“Yeah, Brenna. I wasn’t expecting it either. But here we are.”

“Here we are,” Archer said.

I cursed under my breath and turned to my brother. “Congratulations.”

Archer beamed. “Thank you. That wasn’t exactly how we expected to tell everybody. I had just put on the ring again once I heard the doorbell, knowing it was him. We were going to make it a whole thing. And then it became a whole thing.”

“I’m sorry. This might spoil everything, the surprise, but Brenna is baking you guys a cake.”

“Well, Brenna’s making it up to me, and I’m sure you can help make it up to me by helping us move.”

“You’re moving?” I asked, frowning.

“I’m moving into Marc’s place. That was part of the whole thing we were going to tell you guys about, but yay. I’m getting married. Moving in with my fiancé. Not just my boyfriend, but my fiancé. Now everybody’s getting married or having babies or long-term relationships and look at us. The Montgomerys are growing up.”

“We’re growing up all right. I still can’t believe it,” Beckett said, looking at me. “I’m an asshole.”

I cringed, then realized that I needed to lay it all out there. At least my part. “By the way, before you try to punch me again, Laura called. She and Michelle are having a baby. It’s been a big day. A big week if you will.”

Lee looked at me then, his eyes wide, before he burst out laughing. “Go you and your sperm.”

“Let’s not.”

“I bet Brenna could bake a cake shaped like a sperm,” Archer said. “Not for Marc and me, mind you, but for you. A ‘thanks for getting me pregnant, you asshole. Here’s a sperm cake’ cake.”

“No, no,” Lee replied, shaking his head. “Little sperm cupcakes all leading to a giant egg cake.

“Oh my God, I am texting Brenna right now,” Archer said, whipping out his phone.

“Please don’t,” I muttered.

“There’s no stopping him,” Beckett said as he met my gaze. “That’s a lot, Benjamin. You’re having a kid.”

My knees nearly went weak, and I swallowed hard. “I know. I have no idea what the fuck I’m going to do about it, you guys. When I say this is unexpected, it was unexpected for everybody. I’m not just going to walk away. That’s going to be my child, just like it’s Brenna’s. So the whole being a father thing, that’s something I’m going to have to deal with and learn, but I will do it. I’m not walking away.”

“Never in my mind did I ever think you would,” Beckett said softly.

“Thanks,” I whispered. “As for Brenna? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing there, guys. Everything was just so unexpected.”

Lee reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “We all have to get to work, but afterward, let’s go to Riggs’ and get drunk. And then you can tell us exactly what happened on that road trip.”

“I’m not giving you details,” I mumbled, my lips twitching.

“Fine, be the spoilsport. It seems like I will be the odd man out, the single one forever.”

“Brenna and I aren’t together,” I frowned.

“For now,” Lee said, with a shrug, and I glared at him. “What? I’m just saying. You’re having a baby with that woman. You’re friends with her. You like her. You never know. One thing could lead to another.”

“It would be stupid for us to let one thing lead to another.”

Beckett just glared at me, as Archer beamed as his thumbs moved like the wind as he texted.

“It was probably idiotic to sleep with one of your best friends on a road trip. But you did. And I have a feeling that staying away isn’t going to be as easy as you think it is.”

I looked at Beckett and blinked. “Didn’t you just almost hit me and tell me to stay away from her.”

Beckett shook his head. “No, I almost hit you because I was pissed off that you got our friend pregnant, and it seemed out of the blue. Now my being an asshole is over, and we’re not going to tell Eliza or anyone else what happened.”

“Oh, they already know,” Archer said, and all of us started to glare at Archer.

My youngest brother looked up and shrugged. “What? I’m in the group chat. I annoyed them until they let me in.”

“What are you telling them?” I asked slowly, my words precise.

“Nothing. Just a play-by-play. Brenna’s going to kick both of your asses later, but I did not mention anything about what feelings you may have for her because I’m not going to ruin whatever relationship you have.”

Beckett groaned as Lee began laughing, and I let out a breath. “Oh good. I’m so glad that everyone can mock the situation that I’m in.”

“It’s either mock it or cry. I’m pretty sure that Archer might be getting a cake out of the deal,” Lee added.

“Great. Cake will fix everything.” I ran my hands through my hair. “I don’t know what’s going to happen with Brenna and me. Our motto is friends first.”

“I’ve seen enough movies and been on enough dates to realize that one of two things is going to happen,” Lee said, sounding far too wise. “Either you two are going to make this work for a while before you blow things up and walk away from each other and only see one another for the kid, or you’re going to fall madly and passionately in love, and we’re going to have yet another Montgomery wedding.”

“Seriously?” I asked Lee.

Lee just shrugged. “It’s written in the cards, man. You done fucked up. Now you’re going to have to deal with it.”

I sighed, pinched the bridge of my nose, and knew Lee was right.