Inked Devotion by Carrie Ann Ryan
Chapter 2
Benjamin
Idug my hands into the soil and let out a relieved breath. It had been a long morning, full of dealing with clients, paperwork, and the bank. Nothing like my typical day, and I just wanted to get my hands dirty. Yes, I had lunch later, for which I had to be clean, but my ex knew who I was and how dirty I got. The fact that I usually had dirt somewhere on my body wasn’t why we were exes per se, but she knew my faults. So that meant, for now, I would stay covered in dirt and just dig.
“Hole looks about right.” I leaned back, studied the bed in front of me. “Let’s set her in.”
We had used a shovel for the first part, but I always liked to get down and dirty and make sure that the sides of the hole for the trees we planted were set. I did that with every tree that I helped plant, every bush, every flower. I needed to feel the earth.
I may be a weird landscape architect, but it was my niche. It’s what I did. The rest of my team did the same thing. I didn’t know if they had just learned it from me or it was something we all did. It didn’t matter. In the end, we were fucking good at our jobs.
“I’m glad that you talked her out of the Pyrus calleryana.”
I snorted at Timothy and helped him place the tree. The Pyrus calleryana was famous for its unique…smell.
“Of course. It wasn’t going to fit the design anyway, and considering this is right by their bedroom window? No, they don’t need that smell in the mornings. Though it’s still a pretty tree.”
“They’re gorgeous, and they smell like ass and other, um, things, when they’re blooming.”
I looked around the area and made sure that nobody else was around but my team.
Timothy blushed. “Sorry.”
“Oh no, it’s technically a construction site, you can expect the cursing, and I curse more than you,” I said with a laugh. “However, I know our client is heading around to visit us today, and so the last thing that we need is to get yelled at.”
This client was a bit demanding, but I didn’t mind. Their lawn and garden would look fantastic when we were done with it, but they’d had particular views on what they wanted, and while I had liked most of it and hadn’t minded working with their initial plans, some of it just wasn’t good for a Colorado climate, nor for the size of their lawn.
Not to mention the whole smell thing of those specific blooms.
I was excited to see how everything would look by the end of the project, and how closely it would match what was in my head. Most of the time, it matched near perfect, but sometimes things surprised me. Usually, I liked those surprises, other times not so much. However, I had to hope for good things with this one because while we were a bit closed-off in terms of what we were allowed to do because of the client’s wishes, the client had great ideas and I didn’t mind working with them. As long as we didn’t have to deal with smelly trees.
“Didn’t you say you have some big lunch or something?” Timothy asked as he frowned down at his phone.
I pulled mine out of my pocket and shrugged. “I’ve got an hour.”
Kennedy came up to his side and raised a brow. They shook their head. “Yet look at the dirt on your knees and your hands. You’re going to have to clean up before you meet with Laura.” They wiggled their brows, and I sighed.
“I’m having lunch with Laura and her wife. This isn’t a get-back-together thing. It’s just having lunch with my ex because she said she wanted to meet me.”
“I see,” Kennedy said as they looked over at Timothy. Timothy just rolled his eyes.
“I don’t see,” Timothy added. “Then again, while I end up as friends with my exes, I don’t usually go out to lunch with them and their new significant others.”
“Yes, you do. You make sure you bring whoever you’re currently dating at the time,” Kennedy added.
“As is only just. Because while I appreciate the fact that my exes are moving on and having wonderful lives, I have to show that I too am having a wonderful life.”
“If I show up to lunch without a date, it’s saying I don’t have a wonderful life?” I asked, deadpan.
“That’s not what we’re saying,” Kennedy said, their hands outstretched. “I mean, you’re doing wonderful. You have us.”
I looked between Kennedy and Timothy and shook my head. “That makes me feel so good about myself,” I said with a laugh.
“Ouch,” Timothy added.
“Well, you deserve it. Maybe. Okay, I guess I will go at least head home and change my pants.” I looked down at my knees and winced. “Yeah, I should probably change.”
“Don’t you have a pair of pants in your truck?” Kennedy asked, frowning.
“I always have a change of clothes in my truck, but since my place is in between here and the restaurant, I’ll just head over there. This is nothing,” I said. “Whenever Laura and Michelle are in town, I meet with them. They’re good people.”
“And you’re good people.” Timothy wrapped his arm around Kennedy, and Kennedy just rolled their eyes. “We just love you, and we want you to be happy.”
“You’re starting to sound like my mother and the matchmaking schemes. My siblings are all the ones in loving and serious relationships. I’m doing just fine on my own.”
“I’m pretty sure that’s what they embroider on the singles’ napkins.”
“So what if it is? I’m allowed to be on my own. Neither of you are dating anyone.”
The two gave each other looks, and I held back a chuckle. I knew that they were dating, and had been for a while, but because they worked together, they were doing their best to pretend that they weren’t. I didn’t mind, they did their work well, and it had been six months after all. If things got sketchy, I’d have to deal with the fallout, but I also knew that both of them treated their exes well. The two worked together, and not just at work. They fit.
I was the single one out again, but I didn’t mind.
“Let’s finish this up, and then I’ll head home and get ready,” I said, pushing thoughts of relationships out of my mind. Laura had asked to meet, and I was going to go. I didn’t have a date, or even a fake date to bring, and it didn’t matter. I had eaten with the two of them before, and it hadn’t been a big deal. I had introduced Michelle to Laura about a year after Laura and I had broken up, and I had figured the two would hit it off. I had been in their wedding, for damn’s sake. I was their friend. And even though they didn’t live here anymore, I saw them any chance I could.
That didn’t mean I was lonely. I was just going to be the only true single uncle in the Montgomerys, which was just fine with me.
Why was I talking to myself as if I was trying to reassure myself that I was happy being alone? I had been alone for a while, as Laura had been my last serious relationship. I didn’t need anybody else. I was used to this. I was good at it. Even though I knew that my mother and probably my sisters kept looking at me, wondering when I was going to settle down. I didn’t see that happening any time soon.
We finished up the job for the day, and I left Timothy and Kennedy working on the final setups that we would complete tomorrow. We had other projects scheduled for the afternoon, so I felt comfortable giving them the responsibility.
After lunch, I had a break in my schedule, which meant I had planning and meetings if I wanted, or I could take a break if I wanted. Sometimes I scheduled that for myself, and usually, I filled it with more work. I couldn’t help it, I was good at what I did, and I liked it.
I headed home, took a quick shower, pulled on a new pair of jeans and a T-shirt. We weren’t going to somewhere fancy, and I wanted to be comfortable. I put different boots on this time, not my stained work boots, and called that dressing up.
The café we were meeting at was only down the block from my house, so I walked, enjoying the fresh air. I worked outdoors every day, my skin a little tanner than my twin’s these days since Beckett tended to work more inside buildings, since he had Clay working for him on the outside.
I turned the corner and crossed the street to where the café stood.
Laura and Michelle were already there, their heads bent low as they spoke to one another, their hands clasped together. They were on the other corner of the outside patio, one of the more private areas, where we wouldn’t be overheard by people passing or even other restaurant-goers. I frowned, since that wasn’t our usual table, and since there didn’t seem to be a lot of people around, they must have asked for it on purpose.
From the look on Laura’s face, something was wrong.
Dread coiled in my belly, and I nodded at the hostess before I pointed towards the corner. The hostess gave me a small smile, and I made my way back to the corner where Laura and Michelle were.
“Hey there,” I said, my voice soft.
Laura looked up at me and smiled so brightly I knew it was fake. She stood up quickly and held out her arms. “Benjamin,” she whispered, and wrapped her arms around my waist. I hugged her close and took a deep breath.
“What’s wrong?”
She looked up at me then and gave out a small laugh, and Michelle shook her head. Laura pulled back and gave Michelle a look, and Michelle just sighed. “I told you he’d figure it out.”
“No, you told me he’d get all stressed because we looked stressed.”
“What the hell’s going on, girls?” I asked, looking between them.
“Nothing’s wrong. We’re just nervous. We’re fine. We’re healthy.” Laura gave Michelle a small secret smile that confused me. “We’re really healthy.”
“Talk to me,” I said, looking between them. “Seriously.”
“Take a seat. We already ordered you a Reuben.”
“It scares me how much you guys know me sometimes,” I said as I took a seat across from Michelle and next to Laura. The two of them held hands, and I took a sip of my water, frowning.
“Explain to me exactly what’s going on.” I gave them each pointed looks.
“Well, we wanted you to eat and enjoy yourself first before we had a discussion, but maybe we should just let it all out.”
At that moment, the waiter came by, dropped off a club sandwich split into two, and a chef’s salad divided in two between the two women, and then a Reuben and french fries in front of me.
“Can I get you anything other than water to drink, sir?” the waiter asked.
I shook my head. “This is great. The girls know me.”
“We hope so,” Laura muttered under her breath, and I frowned again, looking at them.
The waiter gave a slight nod, a smile on his face before he went back into the building.
“I’m afraid to eat.”
“Don’t. You know this is our favorite meal.”
“You guys share your food like a little old couple. I love it.”
“Do not call us old, Benjamin Montgomery,” Laura said sweetly, even though her eyes were daggers.
I snorted and bit into a fry. “Well, you act like you’ve been married for fifty years.”
“Sometimes it feels like it.” The two of them squeezed each other’s hands and looked at each other before letting out a breath.
“Talk to me.”
“Okay, okay.”
“Well, we have been together for a while now.”
“Yes,” I said, after she paused for a bit.
“Together enough that we’re ready to start the next phase of our life,” Michelle said, her eyes brimming with tears. I took a deep sip of my water before I set the glass down and looked between the two of them.
“You sure you’re both okay?”
Laura nodded. “Yes. Just nervous.” She let out a breath. “Michelle and I want a baby.”
I grinned, leaning forward as happiness shot through me at the news. “Seriously? That’s amazing. You guys are going to be great moms.”
“I hope so,” Michelle said as she looked at Laura with such love in her gaze, something twinged inside of me. Not jealousy for them, because I didn’t love Laura like that, but maybe because I had never loved anyone like that. But this wasn’t about me.
“I’m so happy for you guys. Hell, can I be an uncle? I want to be an uncle. I mean, I’m going to have tons of nieces and nephews, but I feel like your kid’s going to need an uncle.”
The two of them gave each other a look before looking at me again, and something clicked. “You’re not asking me to be an uncle, are you?” I whispered.
“No,” Laura said, but she rolled her shoulders back, something that she did every time that she was stressed out and needed to get it out there. “We need a donor. While we could go to a bank and get someone anonymous and have it work out perfectly, we wondered if there was a way we could have you help us. We would love for our child to have the genes of someone that we know, love, and cherish. I know this sounds weird and odd, but it feels like you’re part of our family already, and it just seems right. If it doesn’t seem right at all, we can walk away and just pretend we never had this talk.” She was rambling. I just blinked, the hollow sound in my head ringing.
“You want my…you want my…” my voice trailed off.
Michelle let out a breath. “We want your sperm. Sorry for laying it all out there, but we want your sperm. We realize that it’s an odd question to ask, and something very deeply personal, and maybe the idea of going to a bank where it would just be random and anonymous would be better, but we want to know who’s part of our family. And we already consider you part of it. I mean, you accepted me with open arms even as you introduced me to your ex. We’re a peculiar bunch, and we love you.”
Laura nodded. “We love you very much.”
“I don’t…Why me?” I asked again.
“We just told you,” Laura answered with an awkward laugh. “We love you. We like you. The idea that the Montgomerys would be truly taking over the world if we increased the bunch, we feel like we want you to be part of this, in a bizarre way. And now that I’m saying this out loud, it sounds like we’re trying to be a poly-romance, and we aren’t.”
That made me chuckle. “Yes, we’re not like that, but hell. I just, can I have time? I want to help you guys however I can, but I need time.”
I couldn’t think, because what the hell would this mean? I wouldn’t be a father, and I would help create life, bring joy to their family, and help make a new baby. It would be clinical. It wouldn’t be real. Or maybe it would, and I was thinking too hard about it. I just needed to think, but I couldn’t. I wanted nothing to do with the food on my plate, and the girls looked at me and sighed.
“Of course you can have all the time in the world. The less time, the better, since we’re working on fertility meds, but you have time. We’re never going to pressure you into anything. And if you say no,” Laura added, “That’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it again, and you will always be this baby’s uncle. We will always be open with our child as to how things occurred. If that makes sense.”
“So your child would know if I was the one who donated,” I said, my voice wooden, trying to breathe.
“Yes,” Michelle said. “Secrets change things, and we don’t want it to be like that. If this isn’t what you want, just tell us.”
“No, I don’t know what I want. I just need a moment to think, to breathe. I wasn’t expecting this at lunch.”
“And we kind of ruined your Reuben, didn’t we?” Laura asked, and I chuckled.
“Maybe I’ll just take it home and eat it later.”
“Okay,” Laura said, a wobbly smile on her face. I cursed under my breath, pushed my seat back, and stood up before I kissed the top of her head, and then did the same to Michelle.
“I love you both. And just like I said before, you both are going to be wonderful parents. I just need a minute to think about exactly how I’m going to help the situation. I need time to think, and I wasn’t prepared for this.”
“We expected that. We’re going to give you all the time in the world because this is a big step,” Michelle said.
Laura smiled. “Very big step. We’re here if you want to talk about more and what plans you’re thinking, and exactly what would occur. No matter what, we love you, Benjamin. We wouldn’t be asking if we didn’t.”
I let out a shaky breath again, looked at them, and then looked down at the plate in front of me.
“We’ll take it home; I’m pretty sure you’re not going to want to eat that while thinking about sperm,” Michelle said, before she laughed. “Okay, maybe we aren’t going to eat it either.” I laughed again, said my goodbyes, and headed home. I couldn’t think clearly. I needed someone to talk to, needed to talk it out, and I didn’t think it could be my family just then. They would have questions. They would have their own opinions, and while I loved my family, sometimes they were very set in their paths. They would either be all for it and ask me why I was waiting and not just donating that moment, I thought with a laugh, or they would want me to think about every single ramification of what it meant of having a child out there with my genes, but wasn’t mine.
Hell, I needed to focus.
I turned the corner, about to cross a crosswalk, and saw Brenna there, reusable shopping bags in her hands and a smile on her face.
I knew what I needed to do. Even if it made no sense, but I needed to getaway. I needed to think. I wasn’t going to do that with my family all around me.
“Hey there,” Brenna said as she looked behind me. “Oh, you were at the café. Was it good?”
“Uh yeah, sure,” I said, not answering. “Hey, I have a question.”
She blinked up at me. “What is it?”
“Do you think you have room for one more on that trip of yours?”
She blinked, staring at me. “You want to come with me on a road trip to my family reunion?” Confusion filled her tone.
“When you put it like that, it sounds idiotic, but I need a moment to think. I don’t have to go to the family reunion, but getting out? That sounds good.”
“Is something wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing’s wrong, but I need to just be. I don’t know. I can usually just be when you’re around.”
Her lips softened into a smile, and I wondered exactly why I had just said that. It was the truth, but it hadn’t occurred to me until the words were already out of my mouth.
“I needed time to think too, so that’s why I was doing the road trip.”
“Shit, then forget I said anything.”
“No, I can think with you around too. So sure. Why the hell not. It’s already going to be weird on a road trip by myself. I might as well bring you along and confuse everybody.”
I snorted. “I’m already really fucking confused on my own.”
“That sounds about right. But okay. I leave the day after tomorrow. You sure you can do this?”
I nodded. “Yes, I have time. And I was already thinking about taking some time for myself. Hell, a road trip sounds just about perfect.”
“I have no idea why I’m doing this, but yes. Come on down.”
“I have no idea why I asked, but thank you.”
I couldn’t talk to the Montgomerys. I couldn’t talk to anybody, except apparently, maybe Brenna. I would have to think about what that meant later, because first I had some packing to do.