Inked Devotion by Carrie Ann Ryan
Chapter 3
Brenna
Iwasn’t quite sure what had happened, but my lone road trip for me to sarcastically find myself on my way to my family in Virginia had turned into a road trip with my friend, the twin brother of the man that everybody thought I was in love with.
“No, my life hadn’t gone insane at all.”
I cringed, but I told myself that this was fine. Benjamin and I were friends. Just like I was friends with Lee and Annabelle and everybody else in our circle. This wasn’t anything new to us and didn’t need to be weird. Only, why did it feel weird?
It didn’t help that we’d be alone in a car for a couple of days. And a night. In a hotel room. That we weren’t going to be sharing, of course, but still, it was going to be interesting. I hadn’t planned on this turn of events, but he had looked so lost and confused, and that wasn’t Benjamin’s usual MO. Benjamin was the steady one. The one who always knew what he wanted and went about doing it, even if he was completely quiet along the way. But here he was, looking like he had lost something or needed to work things out. Since I knew he never took time off, this had to be important. The idea that Benjamin needed time to think meant he truly needed it. He didn’t take time for himself like that, he always took care of other people, and maybe he did himself as well, but not in any way I had seen, because he was just that self-confident, self-assured.
Now he was going on a road trip with me.
Annabelle stood in front of me, her hand on her belly, and I tried not to focus all of my attention on the motion. Not that I wasn’t ecstatic that one of my best friends was having a baby. I couldn’t be more pleased. I wanted to get down on my knees, kiss that belly, hug her, and tell her that I’m so excited for her, but I refrained. I didn’t need her to give me a weird look. I knew that one day soon, I would be pregnant, gosh darn it. I wouldn’t get those odd looks anymore. At least, that’s what I hoped.
“So, he is just going with you. Out of the blue. Really?”
I sighed as I looked over the last of my provisions. Snack foods for the road, and while Benjamin had texted saying he would bring some too, I wanted to make sure that I had things that he liked as well. I knew him, after all, so this wouldn’t be weird.
I kept having to tell myself that. “Yes, and because I don’t mind and I have a big enough SUV to fit us both, I figured why not.”
“He didn’t tell you why, only that he wanted to go. With you. That’s not strange to you?”
I gave Annabelle a look.
“I don’t find it unusual, do you?”
Paige walked into the kitchen. “I find it a little weird, but kind of nice. So you and Benjamin?” She wrinkled her brows.
I groaned. “No, we’re not going there. We are just friends. Just like I’m friends with the rest of your family. He wanted to get away, probably from his sisters who never leave him alone,” I said with a laugh.
“Well, that’s not very nice,” Paige said, and Annabelle pouted.
I raised a brow. “Don’t pout. It’s bad for the baby.”
“Oh, I have to try that,” Paige said, grinning.
“Seriously though,” Annabelle added. “He just went up to you and said, ‘Hey, can I go with you on a road trip to go see your family?’”
“He wanted to leave and have time to think. I don’t know why. I’m not going to pressure him into telling me, though, because sometimes it’s okay if we just brood.”
“And yet you got angry when Beckett wasn’t telling you his secrets?” Paige asked, and then put her hands over her mouth. “I didn’t say that. I’m sorry. That was rude.”
I held back a wince since she’d said the words rolling around in my head. “No, it’s fine. And the thing with Beckett and me has nothing to do with this.” Marginally. “And it wasn’t that exactly. I can’t explain it.”
I couldn’t explain to them that I had wanted to share my deepest darkest secrets, but he had kept pushing me away, not able to listen because he had tried to hide himself. While I understood, it didn’t mean I was happy about it. And it didn’t make me a hypocrite for keeping secrets. I had tried to tell him numerous times, and he kept lying to me.
Now, I needed to do this on my own. Not necessarily the road trip, because I wouldn’t be doing that on my own, but everything else.
“Okay, well, if you happen to find out what is wrong with Benjamin, you tell us.”
I laughed as I zipped up my insulated cooler. “If I happen to find out because Benjamin trusts me enough to tell me if anything is going on? I’m not telling you. That is the code. It is what we all explained to ourselves when I became friends with the group of you.”
“I don’t think we wrote that down, though,” Annabelle said, looking over at Paige as she bounced on our toes. “Nope. Not even a little bit. I do believe you should tell us. Because we love you and we love Benjamin, and while we both know that nothing is going to go on there because the two of you are way opposites and you would probably brood at each other enough that it just wouldn’t work out, we still want to know what’s up with our brother.”
“That was one very long sentence,” I said drily. “And thank you for thinking I’m not good enough for your brother.”
“Brenna,” Annabelle snapped. “You just said nothing is going on between you and Benjamin. Paige decided to prod you just a little just then, you don’t have to go straight to ‘we don’t think you’re good enough.’ We think you’re good enough for all of our brothers. Hell, you’re good enough for Paige too, even though she’s taken.”
“And I’m not good enough for you?” I said with a laugh.
“I mean, I guess me too,” Annabelle said, shrugging. “Only I’m taken as well. As you damn well know,” she said, her hands on her stomach.
I shook my head. “Okay, go. I need to leave now so I can pick up Benjamin at his house.”
“And you’re just going to another state in a car without a train or a bus or a plane.”
“Are we waiting for Superman to show up?” I ask drily.
“I just don’t understand what’s going on. A road trip with your new bestie,” Paige said, and this time she was pouting.
I sighed, walked over to her, and held her hard. “Your cupcakes are on the counter. Because I bake when I’m stressed, and I’m always stressed these days, and I love you. I’m going to a family reunion, and you know I like road trips and haven’t been able to take one. It’s been busy at the shop, and I just want to do this. The fact that Benjamin seemed to need it as well caught me off guard, and I said yes before I thought about it, but I still would have said yes if I had. Because he needed it, that’s what we do. We are there for each other.” I said most of that in one breath, and the girls looked at me for a moment before they blinked as one.
“Damn straight. And I need to pee.” Annabelle said, and I laughed.
“Pee and then get out because I need to go pick up Benjamin.”
“Will you keep us up to date with where you are?” Paige asked as Annabelle ran to the bathroom.
“Always. There’ll even be a tracker on my phone, so you can find me. It’s not creepy in the least, but we were going to do it when I was going out alone where all the ax murderers can find me.”
“La la la la la. I can’t hear you,” Paige said, putting her hands over her ears.
“For a woman who likes murder shows as much as I do, you sure don’t like to think about the fact that we could be murdered at any minute.”
“You’re just mean.” Paige reached to pick up her cupcakes. “Do you need help filling your car?”
“This is the last of it,” I said, pointing to my provisions.
“Okay, I’m done. I’m done. I’m done,” Annabelle said as she ran out through the hallway, rubbing her hands on her jeans. “And I didn’t want to use your fresh towel, so I used my jeans to dry my hands, and now I feel weird. I love you, have fun, and we’re going to be tracking you on the app.”
“Don’t worry, we all are. Archer has a plan.”
“You guys scare me,” I said, shaking my head.
“You’re taking a Montgomery outside the state borders. I feel like we need to let the world know beforehand.” Annabelle grinned, and that made me laugh.
“You’re right. I should alert the media. The Montgomerys are invading the rest of the US, not just Colorado. It could be an end of an era.”
“And the beginning of world domination,” Paige said as she threw her hair back, and I shook my head before I gathered my things and followed them out the door.
I stuffed my cooler on the back seat floor and looked around my storage area as the girls drove off. There was still half of the trunk, half of the backseats, and all of the space on Benjamin’s side for what he needed. And because I wasn’t that much of an asshole, I would let him drive if he wanted to.
I wasn’t going to force him to watch me drive the entire way, but I wasn’t even sure I had ever driven with Benjamin in the car. Beckett usually drove us around, or Lee. Benjamin and I usually ended up in the passenger seat or backseat if we ever went as a group just because we were the most easygoing.
Which was an odd thing to think because I wasn’t easygoing to anyone except for Beckett. I wasn’t going to think about that, because it didn’t matter. Beckett was happy, and I was going to be happy soon. Not that I was unhappy, but I was going to add more happiness to my repertoire. I was going to stop making things so weird.
I got in the car, checked my mirrors, made sure I had a full tank of gas and that my hybrid was charged, and made my way to Benjamin’s.
My mom texted me as I pulled into his driveway, and I looked down at my phone.
Mom:See you soon. And I can still bring the Jackson boy if you want.
I groaned, knowing that this was only the start. It was going to be an excruciating yet fulfilling weekend.
Me: It’s a family reunion. Stop setting me up on a date.
Mom:It’s a family reunion where we could make a new family. I’m going to invite him. I don’t want the tables to be uneven.
I groaned, my cheeks heating as I looked up, and Benjamin walked forward, he had a large duffle, a small cooler, and that was it. How the hell had he had packed so little when I seem to have packed the rest of the world?
Men.
As soon as I looked at him, the way he smiled at me, even with a little embarrassment on his gaze, I knew I would do something stupid.
Me: I’m bringing someone—no need to invite strangers for food.
My phone rang even as I got out of the car and opened up the back hatch. Benjamin nodded at my phone and went to the back to put his things away.
“Who are you bringing? What is his name? What does he do? How long have you been together, and when are you getting married?”
I ignored most of her questions since she was mostly joking. Mostly. “Yes, my friend Benjamin is coming with me. We’re driving together.”
“Benjamin? As in Beckett’s Benjamin?”
“As in my Benjamin,” I said, and Benjamin’s brows winged up, and I held back a curse. “As in my friend Benjamin. Beckett’s twin. He’s coming with me on the trip.”
“Oh, oh, oh, when did this happen? You’re going to have to tell me everything, and I love you so much. And don’t worry. We will make sure that he gets everything that he needs, and I will tell everybody that he’s on his way. Now, no one needs to worry about you.”
And that was the crux of it. Everybody was always worried about dear old Brenna, the last single Garrett, just like Benjamin was the last single Montgomery.
I cringed, knowing that I had put my foot in my mouth, and frankly, I had probably signed Benjamin up for far more than he had thought when he asked me if he could come.
“We’re just friends, Mom.”
“Oh, shush, you wouldn’t be taking a friend to a family reunion across state lines if you were just friends. But don’t worry. You don’t have to tell me if it’s something serious. You just take your time with that. I’m just so happy for you, Brenna. I love you so much, and I can’t wait to meet him. Of course, I met Beckett, but he has to be different than Benjamin. Are they identical?”
“I’ve got to go, Mom. We’re loading the car now.”
“We. Because you’re a we. Oh, I love it. I love you.”
I groaned as the line went dead, and I leaned my forehead against the car. “I fucked up.”
Benjamin chuckled beside me. “Let me guess. Your mom went my mom’s route with being overbearing when it comes to being single.”
I opened an eye and glared. “At least for a guy, it’s not as bad, right?”
“As I haven’t seen your mom in action, I can’t tell you that. I don’t think it crosses gender lines, as much as it depends on the person hemming you in.”
“My mom was about to bring the neighbor boy over for me to have a date for a family reunion when I accidentally on purpose said that you were coming with me. As my friend, but you heard my mother, there may be an officiant for a wedding.” I put my hands over my face and screamed, and Benjamin reached out and gripped my shoulder. I startled, looking up at him. “I’m an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot. You have a mom who thinks she knows what’s best for you, and I understand that. I’ll play your fake boyfriend if that’s what you want, though I don’t think I’m going to be very good at it.”
I shook my head even though my heart swelled at the thought. “I don’t need you to play my fake boyfriend. You do need to go, even though we said you might not have to, you’re going to have to.”
“Okay. I don’t mind. I think I’ve met your mother, haven’t I?”
“Maybe? She seemingly remembers Beckett, but I don’t remember her meeting Beckett at all.”
Benjamin snorted. “No, that was me. I stopped by your bakery to pick up something for Mom, and your mom was there.”
“Oh yes, that was you. And she mixed you up. And I might have done that too. That’s weird. I never do that.”
“It’s fine. You’re not the first, though I guess that is the first time you ever have. I’ll go. We’ll be friends. We’ll make sure that your mom doesn’t have any secret dates for you, and then we’ll come back.”
“You know, you’re amazing.”
“You’re the one that’s letting me tag along on your road trip out of the blue. I think you’re the amazing one.”
“Then we both can be amazing and neurotic together.”
“I didn’t add the neurotic, but I don’t mind.”
I shook my head and gestured towards the SUV. “Now that you have packed your meager allowances, we should go.”
“We’re only going for a little over a week.”
“A week means how many outfits?”
“I have enough. Don’t worry.”
“Well, I sure hope you do. Though, of course, I guess we could go shopping if you need it.”
He shuddered as he went to the passenger seat. “Don’t say shopping.”
“Stereotypical much?”
“The last time I went shopping, Beckett was the one that made me try on a thousand different things even though we’re the same freaking size.”
I eyed him as I sat in the front seat. “I think you’re a little bigger.” And then I blushed as Benjamin threw his head back and laughed. “Oh God, I’m so sad that Beckett wasn’t here to hear that.”
“Please don’t. Never say that again. Don’t ever tell him I said that.”
“Oh, I’m telling Lee.” He pulled out his phone, and I snatched it. “No phones.”
“Really? No phones for the entirety of the trip, so I don’t mention the casual remark you just made?”
“Okay, we can have phones. Just don’t tell him.”
“I won’t. I was never going to. Do you want me to drive?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Excuse me?”
“Not right now, as I got into the passenger seat, but touchy much?”
“Sorry,” I mutter.
“I meant in general. You sent me the road trip plans, and we have GPSs and phones that should be good to go, but you do not have to drive the entire time if you don’t want to.”
“It’s a long drive to Virginia.”
“It’s going to be a twenty-seven-hour drive? Then we’re taking breaks.”
“It’ll be worth it. I hope.”
“I don’t mind. We have the week.”
“A little over.” I let a breath. “I guess we should go.”
“I guess we should.”
We started out on the road, and I told myself to calm down. There was no going back now—time to think, breathe and take a friend to a family reunion.
“Are you’re letting me pay for half the gas?”
“Yes, though I have a hybrid.”
“And a beautiful hybrid it is,” he said, admiring it, and I beamed at him. “It’s the first big thing I got after my business did well.”
“It’s a great car.”
“Your truck is a gas guzzler,” I muttered, then winced. “Sorry.”
“You’re right, it is, but it’s what I need for work. I was thinking about getting a small sedan or something to save on gas, but I don’t fit in them very well.”
He shifted in the seat, and I raised a brow. “I’m not making a comment on your size again.” He laughed outright, and I smiled. “This is turning out to be an okay drive.”
“Glad I could help.” He paused, let out a breath. “Thanks for letting me come. You never asked why I wanted to go with you,” he said, after a minute or two on the highway.
“I didn’t need to. You said you needed to be here, or wanted to, and I didn’t mind.”
“I guess I should tell you. I need to tell someone, and I can’t tell my family because then they’re going to have opinions, and I’m not in the mood for that.”
I glanced at him and he let out a breath. “Okay then, we’re not even out of the state, and yet I don’t think I can keep it in.”
“Are you okay?” I asked, my heart racing.
“I am. At least I hope so, considering what someone asked of me.”
I settled on the cruise control, with my hands on the steering wheel and my eyes on the road, even though most of my attention was on him.
“What is it?”
“Do you remember my ex? Laura?”
I frowned and nodded as I took the next exit onto the other highway. “Yes. You were in her wedding to Michelle.”
“Good memory.”
I smirked. “I made the cake.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot.”
“It was a good cake. Buttercream frosting, lemon filling, with a cheesecake on the side, and it was so yummy. Nice and airy for one and very rich and dense on the other.”
“The perfect blend of them,” he said.
I smiled again. “I was always sad when you two broke up.”
“I wasn’t,” he said.
That made me snort.
“I meant only that we weren’t right for each other. She and Michelle are. However, they came to me with a request.”
“What is it?” I asked, though an odd feeling spread over me, and I knew he couldn’t be about to say what he was going to say. Right?
It would be too eerie.
“They want a baby. And they want the donor to be someone that they know and trust.”
“They asked you!” I nearly skidded off the highway but kept my calm as a truck hit their horn beside me, and Benjamin put his hands on my knee. He looked down at his hand, let out a breath, and I swallowed. “Sorry.”
“I probably shouldn’t have said that while we were on the highway and you were driving.”
“No. No. When else would you tell me that somebody wants your sperm? I can’t believe I just said sperm. Again.”
“Yes, sperm. It keeps going through my mind over and over again. I had a dream that there was a little sperm having a conversation with me about the pros and cons. It was like the devil and the angel on your shoulder, but instead, they were in my brain, and they were actual sperm. And I have no idea what’s going on, and I have to stop saying the word sperm.”
I snorted, my whole body shaking as I did my best not to drive us right off the highway.
“You’re going to do it, aren’t you?” I risked a glance over at him before I looked back at the road.
“Yeah, I am.”
The astonishment in his voice surprised me. “You’re good people. You don’t need to sound so shocked that you want to make that decision.”
“It’s a big fucking decision. Part of me wanted to do it right away, but I needed time to think about it. I knew if I were around my family, they would keep pestering me until they figured out what was going on, and then they would have opinions.”
“Are you not going to tell them?” I asked, frowning.
“I will. Just after the fact. That way, they can’t talk me out of it.”
“You know, that’s probably a good idea, though I don’t think they would necessarily talk you out of it.”
“Maybe not intentionally, but they would bring around different ideas and opinions even if they were on the side of doing it, it would still twist my thoughts off enough that I just…I want it to be about Laura and Michelle, not about me.”
“You’re a good man,” I whispered.
“I hope so. I hope it works. They’d be great parents and deserve it.”
He talked about them some more, and I leaned my head against the headrest as I kept driving, thinking what he was doing and why he was doing it. I wouldn’t know the father of my child, but I was going to have to pick a donor soon. It wouldn’t be Benjamin, but hell, what were the chances? I was never going to ask him or anybody that I knew, but he was giving another family an opportunity to build a family.
I was always going to be on his side because I needed someone to be as selfless as he was being. I knew I needed to tell somebody. Soon.
It might just have to be the man beside me.
Maybe.