Antidote by LC Lehesaho

14

"Remember to send me your assignments tonight before midnight!" Mr. Kowalsky shouts as everyone starts to leave from his class. I throw my bag over my shoulder and put my headphones on. “The History of Violence” by Theory of a Deadman starts to fill my senses and I ignore everyone around me.

I've tried to do as Puma said. Yesterday I faked a smile for the cashier in the cafeteria and participated in three classes. Missed only two. Today I took it even further. I faked a laugh for a stupid joke Bear told in our morning meeting. It was hell on earth, I sat next to Tiger, and he didn't look at me even once. All I wanted to do is lean on his shoulder and breathe.

Escape into him.

But there is no escape for me. Just crawling forward, trying to keep things as they were before we wrecked ourselves and act like everything is fine. Like I haven't actually died inside and hope the day that someone will put a bullet through my head comes fast.

I promised Puma that I would be at every class today because he pointed out the fact that he can be absent, and no one will blink an eye but for me? I'm always where I'm supposed to be and when I'm supposed to be there. So, if I'm suddenly skipping classes, our family will notice it.

In some weird way Puma, the weed-smoking pile of depression, is very fatherly. He can handle shit when he wants to do so. And right now? He is the ringmaster of my life because I'm unable to handle it myself. Though, I don't appreciate his methods with Tiger.

Tiger hadn’t smoked weed before, but now his eyes are red all the time like he's been peeling onions for a living.

We still don't speak.

And it feels like I'm scrambling in the dark, unable to find my way back home.

I walk to the cafeteria because I have a half an hour break before the next class that I have no interest in attending. But a promise is a promise. I grab a coffee, smile to the cashier like a fucking ray of sunshine, and take a table far away from other people. Though everyone in the university knows who I am, it's not like people are running over to hang out with me.

The song changes to “Familiar Taste of Poison” by Halestorm, and I stop scrolling through my old Instagram photos. My throat tightens because every third picture is of Tiger and me. The latest one was from a couple of weeks ago when we were at the movies. Like in every shot, he is making a stupid face but still manages to be incredibly handsome. Then there's the one taken a month ago by Puma. Wolf had forced us all to go hiking, and I refused to walk any more after an hour, so I sat on Tiger's shoulders, and he carried me the rest of the way. Even though we all hate hiking save for Wolf, it was a fun day.

I’m lost in thought when someone startles me by sitting at my table, and I push my headphones to my neck, glaring at the intruder.

"How's it going?" Luke asks me, his bright blue eyes sparkling like the Caribbean Sea in the sun.

"Oh, jeez." I roll my eyes and get back to staring at my phone. "Get lost."

"Bloody hell, you are one happy camper, aren't you?" he retorts and leans over the table, placing a piece of paper in front of me. "There. I tried to give you this yesterday, but you sped away in your impressive pink Jeep before I could catch you."

I squint, taking a better look at what he handed me. A ticket. "What the… what am I supposed to do with a ticket to an amusement park?" I lift my suspicious look to him.

He cracks me a smile, and truthfully, the guy could be acting in a toothpaste commercial with his perfect line of white teeth. "You need a ticket to get in. You owe me a date."

Holy fuck, I can't help but bark out a laugh. "Owe you? For what?"

"I don't do one-night stands. There has to at least be one date under my belt before I have sex with someone, so you owe me that one date." He takes a sip from his take away coffee and looks at me over the rim of the cup.

"Well, hate to break it to you, but it was a one-night stand, and it's going to stay that way. I don't date." I wave my hand to tell him to beat it. "So, thanks for a good fuck and bye, Luke."

He doesn't leave. Instead, he grabs my phone from my hand and starts to tap it.

"Give it back, goddammit." I lean over the table, but he leans further back, and then his phone starts to ring. After that, he hands me my phone back, smirking at me.

"There." Luke gets up and looks down at me. "I needed your number to make sure you can't bail on me, or I'll call you all night. What time will you be ready today?"

I give him a blank look. "I'm not going with you. Not today, not ever."

"Come on, I promise it's gonna be fun. I can pick you up, let's say at five?"

This guy is unbelievable. I'm about to say no to him, but then I remember Puma's words that I need to do something to draw the attention away from Tiger. Call me a heartless bitch, but Luke just served himself on a silver platter.

"You don't have any idea who I am, do you, Luke?" I ask him, tilting my head.

"I know your drinking manners are hideous, and you're kinda grumpy, but I find you adorable, so I want to get to know you." He flashes me a smile. "After tonight, I will know who you are, so please?"

"I'm far from adorable, but fine. I'll text you my address, don't chicken out when you come." I warn him, but he just cocks an eyebrow at me.

"I'd never chicken out on you."

"Well, let's see about that. At five, don't be late, boy." At that, I put my headphones back on and ignore him. From the corner of my eye, I see him shaking his head with a smile before he leaves.

This might be a fuck up, but I least I'm going to try. Puma better be proud of me.

"What do you mean they didn't know who it was?" Puma stares at Wolf and blows out smoke. "Romero knows everyone, dude is like ancient."

"No one knows who is behind the cargo. Just like Dad said, Leone doesn't know either. It's a ghost. The only ones who would know are dead." Wolf walks beside the window and leans his back to the wall and folds his hands. "Havoc is asking around, and he will get back to us at the end of the week. Leone is trying to find information about Snow's books, but I bet he won't find anything there."

Romero is the Pronto Muerte, the man is probably in his late fifties, and he's been around since before Leo. He was a business associate with Leo's sperm donor, aka his father, and if Romero doesn't know, no one does. It means only one thing.

We have a shitload of work to do.

If someone is trying to sneak and bribe their way into this city, we have to find them and kindly inform them that that’s not okay.

"There is also something else," Wolf says. "Cops have nothing on the arsonist, but the animal skull which was left in front of the burned club suggests that it was personal."

The room goes quiet.

"A what?" Bear asks, stunned for once in his life.

"Dad is at the station right now, figuring it out, but it appears to be a wolf's skull. We need to keep our eyes open."

"Well, fuck me. What about Wong's men?" Falcon asks from the couch.

I keep quiet because I have enough work just sitting next to Tiger. I know I should be listening and participating in the conversation, but I can't. When I'm close to him, the pain is ten thousand times worse. I miss him so much, even though he is right next to me. Still, it feels like he is in a different universe.

"I'm sensing some kind of an ask around." Bear grins from the armchair and stretches his hands behind his neck, bulging his muscles. "I'm going out with Rose, so my suggestion is that we play dress up and go drop in for a visit after dark."

"That's what I had in mind." Wolf nods to agree.

Oh, shit. The fucking date. I clear my throat, trying to keep myself calm. "What time exactly are we talking about?"

Everyone turns to look at me. I keep my eyes on Wolf and hope I look normal. He raises an eyebrow. "Nine p.m. Are you going somewhere?"

"Uh… yeah, but I'll be back in time." I get up, without looking at anyone, but I feel their eyes on my back. Trying not to run out of the room, I walk toward the door.

"Cobra, where exactly are you going?" Wolf asks, and I know he won't stop until he knows my location. He tracks us down like it's going to save our life.

"Out. An amusement park. I'll be back in time."

At that, I rush out the door and almost run to the stairs to get up to my apartment. I’m breaking out in a cold sweat and it’s running down my spine, I can't help it. I know I should let them know because that's what Puma wants and that’s the whole point, but I don't want...

"Cobra."

...Tiger to know. I stop at his voice, almost on the door of my apartment. Shit.

Slowly, I turn around to look at him as he walks up the stairs toward me. His black hoodie hugs his broad shoulders, and his gray sweatpants look just like gray sweatpants are supposed to look on a guy—sexy as fuck. His hair is tousled and looks like he's been running his fingers through it, multiple times.

All I want to do is hug him and never let go. What kind of a fucking idiot am I?

"Hmph?" I can't speak. My tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth, and my throat is as dry as the fucking Sahara desert.

"With who?" His dark eyes are piercing through my soul, and I feel as naked as the day I was born. Emotionally and physically.

"Uh…" I tear my eyes away from him and look at the floor instead. He can't catch me if I run to my apartment. Can he? Yeah, he's way faster than me. I really, really don't want to answer. "I need to go, or I'm going to be late."

I turn around, feeling like my entire body is ready to explode, but when I open my door and step inside, he catches me. My world spins around, and I feel his hand on my throat, and the door behind him slams closed.