Swallow Your Pride by Sarah Blue
EVERYONE KNOWS
I spent the weekend crying,eating, and watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I also spent a good majority of the time slowly spiraling and wondering what the fuck I’m doing. Can I really accept this cottage? The shares? The job?
It didn’t take long for me to come to the conclusion that I could absolutely accept these gifts, but I still worry about the repercussions. The way Zach and his mother looked at me, like I was an abomination or some sort of mutant, it has me unsteady. I wonder if he plans to take legal action like he said.
The worst he could do is ask for a paternity test—which has already been done. As much as I might wish Collin was an actual father, he did pay my mother child support, not that I really ever saw any benefits of that money.
I try to not go down a rabbit hole of thoughts about my mother. She had her addictions, her problems, but she did love me, at least as much as she was capable.
I’m on my third pint of Chunky Monkey for the weekend when I look at the time. It’s past midnight, and I have a job that starts tomorrow. Not that I have any clue as to what the job was, but desperate times and all. There are also four voicemails and ten text message notifications waiting for me on my phone. I don’t want anything to do with my ex, but something has prevented me from blocking his number. I vanquish him from my mind as I focus more on what I need to do moving forward.
Not wanting to look like a complete idiot, I read through the documents about my shares and did some research as to how it works. Kemper’s is a privately owned S corporation, meaning none of the shares are traded publicly. I have no idea what the shares are worth, but based on the contract it seems as though the board has to agree on whom shares are sold to. So it seems like Aiden or Zach would be my only options if I decide to go that route. Not that I’m sure I want to. It seems like there’s potential to make money through profits for just being a shareholder itself.
Maybe I need a lawyer. I’m only able to understand half of the terms in the will and Google can only help so much. It’s also nice having a stake in something my father created, he wanted me to be a part of the family business. He had to die for us to get here and for me to find out I had a sibling, but it has to be worth something.
Meeting Zach was difficult, and maybe it’s blinded optimism or this lingering desire for a family, but I have hope that maybe he will come around. I don’t even know if he holds a position at the company or just owns a huge chunk of it. But I’m willing to give him another chance, I just hope that he’s open to it.
I turn out the light and toss and turn as I wait for what tomorrow is going to bring.
* * *
Kemper’s Sporting Supply is not a store, apparently. I guess I had no idea what I was walking into. I spent all weekend researching what being a shareholder meant—with little fucking success—I didn’t think to research the company beyond information about my shares. It’s very clearly the headquarters. It’s a small glass building with minimal decor. There’s a low hum of voices answering phone calls and common office chatter as I walk to the receptionist’s desk.
“Hello, can I help you?” she asks. She’s pretty, her skin is sun-kissed and her blonde hair sparkles with highlights from the sun. Her dress is casual and her face is welcoming as I smile back.
“I’m Jessa Peters. I’m supposed to meet with Aiden.”
Her eyes widen, and she nods her head. “Oh yes, Mr. Carlson is expecting you, follow me.” She stands up from behind her tall desk, and I trail her as she continues talking as we walk throughout the cubicles and closed door offices on the left. “My name is Penny. I work the front desk, if you ever need anything.”
“Thanks, Penny. I’m Jessa.” I cringe at saying my name twice, but the tall blonde woman just gives me a smile instead.
“Oh yes, everyone knows who you are.” I’m about to ask her what she means as she stretches out her arm. Aiden is sitting at his desk, dressed far more casually than he was at the funeral: a simple black polo shirt and lightweight pants. He talks in a bored tone over the phone as he waves me in, giving Penny a nod. She retreats out of the office, shutting the door behind her.
Aiden’s office is sparse. There is a small imperial red plant in the corner, but besides that, no other personal touches. No photographs of him and his family, no memorabilia, nothing that indicates that this is a place that he comes and goes every day.
“No, you listen. Kemper’s has supplied the equipment for UCF for over a decade. If you’re going to fuck me, Gary, at least have the decency to do it when I’m present,” Aiden says over the phone, and I look out the window, where a homeless man sits on the curb, panhandling for change. Maybe I should just leave.
There’s an awkward silence while I wait to hear what Aiden says next. “Okay, tell them we’ll match it.” His tone isn’t as curt as before, and I play with the hem of my dress as I wait for him to finish up his conversation.
There’s no goodbye or great speaking to you, he just hangs up the phone and looks at me. I look back at him and blink a few times. Not one to handle awkward silences well, I raise my hand like an idiot and wave. “Hi.”
“Jessa,” he says, picking up a file and looking over it for a moment. “Did you find the cottage fine?”
“Yes, it’s really nice.”
He nods and clears his throat. “Have you gotten a lawyer?”
“What?”
“To explain your shares and to protect what Collin gifted you.”
“I know the gist of it,” I say, knowing damn well I can’t afford a lawyer right now.
“I’d strongly advise you to do so.”
“About the job,” I cut in, not wanting to dwell on it any longer.
“What experience do you have?”
This, I came prepared for. I grab my portfolio and place it on his desk. He flips the front and his gaze travels over the pages. He doesn’t give me any indication of what he thinks; he doesn’t hum or speak. He just looks at the work I’ve done: the websites, the email marketing, even a few logos.
“Your background is in design?”
“Yes. I graduated from Virginia Commonwealth University with a degree in design and applied arts. Most of my work has been freelance since I finished school. I’ve had other side jobs to balance my income, but designing is my passion.”
He looks over the last few pages and rubs his chin. “Most of our stuff is outsourced. I need to talk with Huck in human resources to see what we would be able to offer you. Would you be amenable to other office work?”
I perk up, sitting up straight in my chair and nodding my head. “Of course, I’m a hard worker. I won’t let you down.”
I swear a look passes his face, but it’s too quick for me to register the emotion. “Is Zach working here going to be an issue for you?”
“No, sir,” I say. It slips out casually, and Aiden stiffens only for a second before clearing his throat.
“Now that he’s a shareholder, I imagine he will be here more often. His position was in sales previously, but I’m not sure how he plans to continue his role.”
“And you’re the CFO?” I ask curiously.
“And CEO until further decisions are made.” I look at him and wonder how he got into such a high position. Aiden looks fit, and still relatively young to be a CEO of a company. I have a million questions I’d like to ask him. Like how he became business partners with my father and what he was like as a person. But none of them slip off my tongue as he stands up and ushers me to follow.
There’s a cubicle right outside of his office that he leads me to. “You can take this desk. We’ll need to talk to Huck about your contract and pay. In the meantime, I’ll have Penny set you up with what you need to get started.”
“Okay,” I reply, sitting on the stiff chair and glancing around the bland cubicle. As I shift my weight on the chair, I groan. This is going to need to get replaced. Aiden walks off when Penny approaches me. She has her own laptop as she runs through what I might need to do my job. There’s already two monitored computers at the station, but we discuss what I have at home versus the office and the software I already pay for.
I shift in the seat, and she laughs.
“Yeah, I think everyone shoved that chair in here because it’s the worst.” I give her a small smile, not wanting to come off as a diva on my first day. Once we have a list of items I’ll need, she heads back to her desk to order them. Their IT guy is supposedly coming in tonight, and he will set me up with an email and a login.
I nervously tap my foot against the concrete office floor. What if this is a mistake? Surely life doesn’t give you this many lemons at once. It’s like my negative thinking summons Zach to my cubicle.
“Jessica,” he says dryly. I want to correct him and remind him that I go by Jessa, but I decide not to rock the boat any further.
“Hi, Zach.”
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
I try to put my most confident foot forward, sitting up straight and looking him in the eye when I speak. “I work here now. I think maybe we got off on the wrong foot. The funeral was a hard time—”
He scoffs, tapping the top of the cubicle before walking away. I sigh and rub my face, even though I’ve told myself over and over to stop touching my face as much. It’s a bit of a nervous habit, one that’s been impossible to break.
While I don’t expect everyone to like me, I’ve never felt such strong hatred from one person before. It makes my stomach hurt and my flight response tingle. It’s an unwelcome feeling, having someone who doesn’t want me around.
I rub my face again and groan. This was such a bad fucking idea.
Aiden has an irritated look on his face as Zach follows him to his office and the door is slammed louder than necessary.
Penny comes back over to my cubicle, looking back at the door before looking at me. “You’ve really caused quite the stir here at Kemper’s.”
“I didn’t mean to,” I say.
“Oh, honey. It’s not your fault. Everyone here loved Collin. When he got sick, we were all devastated. When he was on his deathbed, we learned about his secret daughter. It was a shock to us all.”
I look out into the hallway. “Everyone knows?”
She grimaces and nods her head. “Everyone knows. I’m guessing that’s why Zach’s been a bigger dick than usual.” She covers her mouth after she says it and shakes her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t say things like that.”
I smirk at her and shake my head. “If the shoe fits.”
“He was always kind of a tool before, but ever since his dad got sick he’s been on a real power trip. We all heard about the shares,” she says softly. I get the feeling that Penny isn’t inherently trying to gossip with me, but maybe looking to fill me in and help me understand the dynamic of the office.
I blink at her a few times and wonder why Zach would be giving out all this information. Penny shakes her head. “Zach really likes to talk about himself.” She shrugs before looking at Aiden’s door and then back at me. “Hey, want to get some lunch.”
I smile at her and nod. “That would be great.”
“Do you like Mexican food? There’s an amazing food truck right around the corner.”
“That sounds great.” I grab my purse off the desk and follow Penny to reception. She unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out her purse, slipping it over her shoulder as we exit the office. The heat and humidity slaps us in the face as we walk a block over. Penny has sunglasses covering her eyes, and I make a note to put a pair in my car, purse, really anywhere, so I don’t get blinded every time I go out.
“So, where are you from?”
“I’ve lived mostly in Virginia.”
“Never been. Well, we sat in traffic in Virginia on our way to Maine that one year, but I’ve never spent time there.” I nod as we wait in line at the food truck, not missing Virginia traffic, but the way my commute this morning went it seems I traded it in for some otherworldly hellscape that is a Florida commute. “So you knew Collin was your dad?”
“I’d only ever met him twice.” Her brows furrow and she nods her head.
“He didn’t seem the type to just abandon his kid.”
I sigh and fidget with my purse strap. “Men have a way of disappointing you like that.”
She nods back and sighs dramatically. “You’re right about that. So the funeral was the first time you met Zach?”
“Yes, I didn’t know my father had other children.”
“Woof, this story keeps getting more messed up.” Penny seems genuine. I don’t feel like she’s trying to pull information out of me for nefarious reasons. I get a sense that she knows I’m lonely and need someone to talk to; it’s a serious contrast to how I feel around Zach.
“You don’t have to tell me how messed up it is, I’m living it.”
“Well, I’m here if you need me. I know it can be hard to make friends in a new town,” Penny says, lightly touching my forearm. I give her a smile and I feel relieved that I have at least one person in this new town to count on. Possibly Aiden too. He’s been hard to read, but he’s been nothing but kind to me.
We order our food, and Penny suggests we take it back to the office with how hot it is today. I agree completely as we both sit at reception and eat. While we’re eating, a red-faced Zach storms past, giving me a dirty look before leaving the office completely.
“Sounds like someone just got put in his place,” Penny says with a smirk. I don’t reply, wanting to be able to mend whatever possible relationship there could be with Zach. That won’t happen if I’m already gossiping about him in the office.
Aiden walks up to reception. He doesn’t look fazed in the least as he rests his elbow on the table. “Jessa, when you’re done, will you come to my office?”
I go to pack up my food so I can speak to him right away, and he shakes his head. “No, finish your food, take your time. I’ll see you shortly,” he says, waving me off.
Penny and I both watch him leave, and she sighs once he’s safely in his office. “At least the person who matters the most in the office seems to like you.”
“What?”
Penny shakes her head and takes a bite of her burrito bowl. I try to eat, but I’m so anxious about speaking to Aiden that I wind up wrapping it up and putting it in the fridge for later. I steel my spine and straighten my dress before walking into his office.