Swallow Your Pride by Sarah Blue
KISSING PRETTY GIRL’S FINGERS
I kissed her fucking finger.
What the fuck was I thinking? I wasn’t thinking, I just acted and it was so natural. I mean she just saved our asses. I can only imagine the outcry if we had handed these out at the game tomorrow. It really looked like a giant fucking dick, and Jessa saved us from that embarrassment. I’m thankful to her, but also in awe. She noticed the problem, came up with the solution and is willingly here, with me, making this right.
Not only is she here and not bitching, she’s smiling often, she’s talking to me openly. So when she got hurt, I felt guilty, and I wanted to make it right. I kissed her finger and nearly called her a good girl.
I cannot feel this way about my dead friend’s daughter. The daughter he wants me to mentor and take care of. Certainly Collin didn’t have it in mind that I’d be kissing her finger or thinking about how cute she looks with her dark hair in a bun on the top of her head.
Part of me wants to tell her to go home and I’ll spend all night doing this myself. It will at least stop me from looking at her and noticing things about her. Things I shouldn’t be fucking noticing: like she fidgets a lot, touching her face, her dress, and her hair. Or that I can tell immediately when she’s flustered by the tint on her cheeks. I shouldn’t like the way she looks at me either, with her big brown eyes fanned by full lashes. I definitely shouldn’t like the way she looked at me after I kissed her fucking fingertip.
She puts the stickers on in silence while The Kinks play in the background. I check the time and we’ve been at it a few hours, but it feels like the dent is small. I’ll wait until I get any hints that she’s tired and we’ll call it a night. We will have a few hours with the whole staff to correct these. I figure if we can get halfway, we will be able to fix all of them.
Jessa’s phone is buzzing on the table, and she ignores it.
“Do you need to get that?” I ask her, and she shakes her head.
“Nope. But I could use something else to drink. Do we have anything else here?” she asks, and I’m immediately on my feet. What the hell is going on with me. I go to the fridge and bring us both a bottle of water. “Thanks,” she says softly as she takes off the lid, and I watch her throat move as she swallows a large gulp.
The silence begins to get uncomfortable and I wonder if I made it this awkward when Jessa speaks. “Is this something they do every year?” she asks, waving a bat before putting a sticker on it and throwing it in the box.
“Yeah, I think we’ve sponsored it for a good eight years now. We always do a promotional product for the event.”
“Did we make these?” she asks, and I give her a small smile.
“Yeah, saves cost and Collin was always adamant that it should be a Kemper’s product.”
“Makes sense,” she says. “He loved this company?”
“I wish you had the chance to really get to know him,” I say, truly meaning it. It’s got to be hard to hear about your own father second hand. Not only that, but to continually hear what a good man he was, when he wasn’t to you.
“Me too. Want to know a secret?” she says and I nod. “I was already on my way to Florida when I got the text from Zach. I wanted to get to know him.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” she says. “I’m still hoping Zach comes around, but I’m losing hope.”
“I could talk to him,” I say, and I want to smack myself. Who the fuck am I to offer that to her, and I know how stubborn he can be? If he’s going to come around, it’s going to be on his own terms.
“I appreciate it, but I think this is something I need to figure out on my own.” She tosses another bat in the box before speaking again. “What about you, do you have a lot of family?”
“Too many family members if you ask me.”
She laughs. “Like Penny?”
“Penny is nothing compared to my brothers.” She tilts her head like she wants to know more. “Being the oldest of four is definitely something. We all like to pick on each other, still do, even though we’re grown ass adults.”
“Do you have any nieces or nephews… or kids of your own?” she asks. I wonder if she’s gauging my relationship status and I know I shouldn’t like that, but I give her the information she needs.
“No, to my mother’s chagrin, all of her sons are hopelessly single and childless.”
She hums and there’s a question I’ve been wanting to ask.
“What about your mom? Any other siblings?”
“No, my mom passed a few years ago, and thankfully she didn’t have any other children.” She leaves it at that, and continues working on the bats. It’s nearly one in the morning when we get halfway through the box and I decide to call it a night.
Jessa looks absolutely exhausted, and the idea of her driving the forty-five minutes home to Clearwater eats away at me.
“I live right down the street and have a guest room if you’d like to crash there.”
“I couldn’t impose,” she says, and I shake my head.
“You just saved my ass, and the company’s. You can have whatever you want, plus I don’t like the idea of you driving so far so late.”
Her brown eyes explore mine before responding. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
Her eyes are wide when we get to my house, and I try not to feel proud that I’ve impressed her. She keeps her opinions to herself as I take her to the guest room. “Do you want a shirt or something to wear?” I ask her and she nods. Should I give her one of my old Rays shirts with my name on it… no… and I certainly shouldn’t enjoy the thought of her wearing my name. She thanks me, and I leave her alone for the night. Thankfully I’m exhausted enough to not dwell on it as I pass out, knowing that tomorrow is going to be long as fuck.
* * *
When I wake up, it feels like any ordinary day as I get ready, I wear casual clothes for the game later and head downstairs to get a coffee. I’m greeted by Jessa sitting at the bar top, her legs crossed as she sips her coffee. She’s still in my fucking shirt.
“Oh, morning,” she says blushing. “I’ll go get ready.”
I indulge and look at her legs one more time. I feel like a pervert for wondering what she has on under the shirt, and I know wholeheartedly I shouldn’t be looking at her legs and enjoying what I’m seeing. “I’ll take you to your car and you can go home and get ready.”
She arches a brow at me, taking a sip of her coffee, and I wonder if I’ve been caught looking at her inappropriately. This is all so not okay. I should have just driven her to Clearwater, but no, I decided to make things even more inappropriate by having her sleep here, in my clothes. She puts the coffee down and glances at me in a soft way, like she’s taking my appearance in. I shouldn’t like it as much as I do.
“But the bats?” she questions, and I can’t help the tug in my chest. Why does she have to be so caring and perfect? She’s beautiful. I’ve thought so since the moment I met her, but the more I learn, the more I like, and the more guilt starts to consume me.
“The rest of the office can put in some work. Make sure you dress casually, you’re spending half the day at the game with me.”
“What?” she asks.
“You made this happen, you’re coming to the game with me.”
She smiles and hops off the stool, the shirt bunching at the top of her thighs, and I have to hold back a groan. I don’t watch her ass or my name on her back as she walks down the hall to the guest bedroom. Why the fuck did I invite her? I knew it was crossing the line, and having her bare feet pad across my kitchen floor feels too domestic, in a way I didn’t think I’d ever like. I’m not sure what these feelings are festering inside of me, but I shut them down immediately.
Thankfully, no one is at the office to see me drop Jessa off to her car. I called Kenny at the warehouse, and he’s bringing all the bats over here so we can finish. Some of the warehouse crew is even coming to help. We should be able to knock the rest of these out quickly.
“You’re sure you don’t need my help?” she asks, while opening her car door.
“I’m sure. Just be ready for the baseball game.” She smiles and leaves, and it’s wrong but all I want to do is make her smile more when she comes to the game with me today. She’s easy to be around, easy to make happy. But she seems so innocent, not only that, but she needs to be off limits. We can’t start something for a multitude of reasons, no matter how beautiful and adorable I think she is.
Jesus Christ, I feel like a school boy, not a nearly forty-year-old man.
Penny comes in first, and while my cousin can get on my nerves, I can’t deny that she has a heart of gold. She might have been adopted by my aunt, but the girl fits into our chaotic family so well. She’s immediately removing labels at her desk.
“Seriously, Aiden, it looks like a huge, fat cock, how didn’t you notice?” I glare at her and she laughs. “Sorry, it’s just really bad. You were gonna hand out these cock stickers to children.”
I ignore her teasing and I just know my brothers are going to make fun of me as soon as she tells them this story. “Just make sure everyone gets a box when they come in. All hands on deck.”
“Of course, good thing we have Jessa, huh?” she says with a smirk on her face. I wave her off and head to my office where I continue ripping off these fucking stickers and putting the new ones on. I ignore all the grumbling from employees outside my office, but they all put in the work. That is, everyone except Zach, who is dressed for the game. I’m sure he’s assuming he’s going to be sitting next to me, when in fact, he will be with the rest of the employees in the higher section.
“Hey, Aiden,” he says, leaning against the doorframe. “Serious fuck up with the stickers, huh?”
“Yeah,” I say dryly and go back to taking the stickers off. “Luckily, Jessa caught it.” He makes a frustrated noise, and I try not to snap at him.
“What time do you want to leave for the game?”
“I’m taking Jessa.”
“You’re what?” he asks incredulously.
“She saved us big time. She’s going to do the drop off with me, and she’s sitting with me in my seats.”
“You mean my dad’s seats?” Give me strength to deal with this little fucker.
“The seats he gave to me, because he wanted them to go to someone who would appreciate them.”
“This is seriously such fucking bullshit. She shouldn’t even be here.”
“Get the fuck out of my office,” I say. His eyes are wide as he looks at me. I’m so over his shit. I put up with his antics when Collin was alive out of respect, but honestly, he needs to be put in his place. He isn’t even that much younger than me, so his immaturity is seriously unfounded.
“Seriously, you’ve known her for two weeks? You’re giving me an attitude about that gold-digging bitch?”
“Zach, I suggest you get the fuck away from me before this becomes a bigger issue.” I glare at him and clench my fist. My hand hurting from all these fucking stickers. I’d risk hurting it again to punch him in the face right now.
“Fucking ridiculous,” Zach complains as he stomps away like a petulant child. But as he’s storming away, I see Jessa’s wide eyes. She was there the whole altercation, and I feel mortified. She quickly turns away and starts with her bats that she shouldn’t even be working on with how much she’s done.
With the whole staff—sans Zach—it only takes us about three hours to finish all the bats. Kenny packs them up in the truck, and I tell the office to enjoy themselves at the game, and I’ll see them tomorrow. Jessa seems shy when I tell her to meet me at my car.
“I could drive and meet you there.”
“No, hop in,” I tell her. She huffs, but opens the passenger door. She’s wearing cut-off jean shorts that show too much thigh. Thighs I should not be staring at let alone for the second time today. She doesn’t have a Rays shirt on; we’ll have to change that. Her hair is in a long ponytail and green sunglasses cover a portion of her face.
“I’ve never been to a baseball game,” she says when we park at the stadium.
“Well, you’re in for a treat.” She smiles and takes in the stadium as we park and meet Kenny at the receiving gate.
Their marketing manager, Lewis, is there and thanks us for the donation as they take them to the exits to give to the kids after the game. Giving kids wooden bats during the game isn’t a great idea, I can only imagine the injuries or the amount of wooden bats flying in the stands.
I take Jessa to the fan shop first, and she looks around. “Do you need a hat or something?” she asks and I shake my head.
“No, you can’t come to a Rays game and not wear a shirt.”
“Oh, Aiden, that isn’t necessary.”
“Honestly, I insist. Which one do you want?” She blinks at me a few times. “You pick, or I will,” I tell her, and she swallows.
“Can you pick?” she asks.
Fuck.
I look through my choices, and with how hot it is, I grab a white t-shirt with a V-neck and the logo front and center. She smiles as I grab the shirt and take it to check out. Once I pay, I hand it to her.
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“You’re welcome. Let’s get you changed and get some hot dogs and beers.” She nods and nudges my shoulder before heading to the bathroom to get changed.
When she emerges from the bathroom with a red bra clearly visible underneath her white t-shirt, I realize how exactly fucked I am. I’m not sure what’s worse, sitting next to her and having this knowledge or if I just would have sat next to Zach’s miserable ass.