No Chance by Lisa Suzanne

CHAPTER 36: BRETT

When I wake up, she’s wrapped around me like a vine.

It’s still a little scary. Fuck, it’s all brand new and I don’t have any idea how to make this work. But after yesterday...I want to try. I want to figure out a way.

And hell, do I want her again.

My eyes meet Chance’s. He’s standing in his crib, leaning against the rails and using them for support to keep him upright, and it’s almost as if he’s issuing me a warning with his little eyes that are a perfect match to mine.

Don’t fuck with my aunt. She’s all I’ve got.

I wish I could promise him that I won’t, but I can’t make that promise. I probably will fuck this up. So instead of saying I won’t through my gaze back at my son, I go with something else.

I’m not planning on it, little man.

At least...not intentionally.

He makes a whimper, and I’d love to grab the kid and let Hannah sleep in again, but we’ve got to get to bus call. We’re taking off for Detroit in a little over an hour, which means we need to get this process rolling.

I press a kiss to her forehead, and she stirs. Chance’s whimpers take a turn and he gets a little louder, and I shake her gently.

“Mm,” she moans, and fuck do I wish I could get inside her and spend a lazy morning fucking, but we can’t.

For starters...there’s a baby in here.

But also, we’ve got that goddamn bus call.

We don’t have time for a sweet morning on the balcony sharing cheese danish, but I do place a to go order from room service while she’s in the shower. I also get a couple of large coffees that we can take on the road before I remember that she doesn’t drink coffee.

She doesn’t drink coffee.

So damn close to being the perfect woman.

I pack up the room while she gets ready, and then she repacks what I messed up while I take a shower. The food is delivered in a box, and I don’t show her what it is so I can surprise her on the bus.

Karl arranged a car for us to get to the bus lot, and we’re right on time as we pull up to our home on wheels. A little wave of nerves pushes through my chest as I wonder what this ride will be like with Tommy. We seemed to clear the air last night, but he’s volatile and he doesn’t like change.

I’m playing with fire.

I already upended his world by inviting a chick and a kid onto our bus, and now he’s potentially losing the one single dude he has left in this band of brothers. Maybe I’ll just steal all his gummy bears while I’m at it.

Just the thought of it causes me to shudder. Even I don’t want to deal with the fallout that would cause.

We board the bus and Tommy’s not there yet. We get settled in for our trip toward Detroit. Chance is crawling around the floor of the freshly cleaned front cabin, and I open our box of danish, which delights my girl.

“Danish?” she asks with a soft smile.

I shrug. “I know it’s not danish on a balcony, but I thought you’d like it anyway.”

“I love it.” She takes a huge bite, and it’s beyond sexy.

“And I got you a coffee.”

She laughs. “Still pushing the coffee?”

“I mean, there are worse things you could get addicted to.”

She laughs, and all in all it feels like a nice, lighthearted morning...but there’s still no sign of Tommy.

I finish my first danish and head over to Tyler’s bus. “Have you seen Tommy?” I ask.

His brow crinkles and he shakes his head.

I check with Dustin next.

Same answer.

I try texting Tommy.

Me: Bus call was thirty minutes ago. Where the fuck you at?

I wait a few beats, but I don’t get a reply.

It’s unlike Tommy to be late, and even stranger for him not to reply, but I’m not one who usually jumps to the worst possible scenario. In this case, though...something feels off.

I’m sure I’m still just reacting to everything Hannah’s been through. I’ve never really felt as close to a woman as I do to her, and surely I’m just projecting what’s been difficult for her onto my own situations now.

I take a deep breath.

And then my mind goes to that place anyway.

The place where our lives change forever because of one stupid mistake.

Maybe I’m sensitive to it now because suddenly there are other people depending on me, but I guess I’ve had people depending on me since the day we heard our first single hit the airwaves. I’ve always felt I was an essential part of this band, but someone else could technically do my job. They wouldn’t have my flair or my personality or my love for our original songs, but they could do it.

Tommy’s irreplaceable, though. He’s not just the face of our band—even though our bassist gives him a run for that given the fact that Tyler was on a reality show to help us gain exposure.

He’s our entire sound. He’s our singer. Yeah, he plays guitar and fucks around on keys once in a great while and he’s musically talented in other ways, but he’s so much more than that. Without his voice, our fans wouldn’t know what to sing along to.

And it’s not just that. Tommy’s always looking for the next big thing and the next way to get more fans in our base. He’s tireless in his pursuit for money and success. And, of course, for pussy.

But he’s also not afraid of anything except settling down and having a boring, predictable existence. That was one area in life where I thought we were the most similar until Hannah walked in with her cute little ass along with my kid.

Tommy takes risks and he thinks he’s immortal, and that’s a bad combination. He only needs to piss off the wrong person or take drugs from the wrong dealer or fuck the wrong girl for all this shit to explode in our faces. And that’s why anxiety is starting to creep into my chest.

What did he take last night?

Usually we’re together and we have that unspoken bro code where we monitor each other. But we weren’t last night. I jetted out to be with Hannah, and I ended up with the best blow job of my life.

But for what?

Because Tommy isn’t here right now, and I can’t help but imagine he’s lying on a tile floor passed out and alone.

It’s strange how vivid that image is.

I head back to Tyler’s bus after a few minutes. “Any word?” I ask when he steps down.

Tyler shakes his head. “You heard anything?” he asks Dustin as he steps down from his bus, too.

“Nope,” he says, and Karl appears a second later.

“I’ve been trying to reach him for the last forty-five minutes,” Karl says. “If we don’t get on the road in the next few minutes...” He trails off. We all know the importance of bus call. There’s a new city to get to, a sold-out stadium to perform for, twenty thousand fans waiting for us. We have media to address and soundcheck and a meet and greet. We don’t have a lot of space to fuck around with being late, and we only have small bumpers of time built in for traffic or accidents.

We’re using that up now.

I take control. “Why don’t you all get on the road ahead of us so the crew can start set-up and as soon as he gets here we’ll be on our way?” I suggest.

I leave out the thoughts disrupting my mind that there’s an actual issue. I pretend everything’s okay like everyone else is doing. It’s Tommy. He’s invincible. He’s probably having one last dip into whatever chick he scored last night before he meets us.

“No way, man,” Dustin says. “We’re all in this together.”

Tyler nods. “Besides, I want to be here to lay into him once he finally shows.”

We stand around helplessly as the clock ticks and the moments pass by. “Should one of us go back to the hotel and bang on his door?” I ask.

“I’ll go,” Karl says, and he heads toward the car that dropped him here. All the other drivers have left, but Karl always pays one extra to hang around for emergencies.

I think this qualifies.

“I’m going with you,” I say.

“Let’s all go,” Tyler says, and we each pop onto our buses to let our women know we’re on our way to find Tommy.

Hannah promises to let me know if he shows, and we all head toward Karl’s car together.

And just as I’m about to slide into the backseat, a different car comes hurtling into the bus lot. The driver slams on the brakes and Tommy jumps out of the back.

“Fuck!” he yells. He grabs his duffel out of the backseat and jogs over toward us.

He looks...rough.

Sunglasses cover his eyes, but he looks like he needs a shower and he could definitely use a shave. I can smell the whiskey and stale cigarette stench from where I stand a few yards away.

He’s going to stink up our whole bus. There’s a kid on there breathing in that same air.

Tommy is so goddamn selfish sometimes.

“You’re almost an hour late and you didn’t have time to fucking shower?” I ask.

“No comment,” he says, his voice as rough as his appearance.

“Don’t pull that no comment bullshit on us.” My tone is threatening, but I fucking hate it when he says that. The guy always has a comment about everything, and it’s only when it suits him that he uses his catchphrase.

“I got laid up with some real nice pussy, and I’m a little on the hungover side, so lay off.” He shrugs, and he’s so goddamn nonchalant about it that I want to tear into him.

My blood boils. “No, Tommy, I’m not going to lay off. You’re fucking late for bus call.”

“So what? We all make mistakes.”

“So what?” I repeat. I take a step toward him. “So what? Are you serious?”

Dustin and Tyler seem to edge in a little closer to me. I’m sure it’s because they want to protect both of us but fuck him.

My irrational anger is his fault. He had me worried, and I’m lashing out at him for putting me in the position of fearing for him and for me and for us.

“Something wrong with your phone?” Karl asks, and I’m grateful for his question since it helps break up the tension of me yelling at him.

This isn’t something any of us are used to. Usually I take a backseat to whatever Tommy does. A few weeks ago, I might’ve even found this situation funny. But today...I didn’t.

And maybe that’s a sign that I’m starting to grow up...and not just up, but also away from Tommy.

He pulls it out of his pocket. “Dead,” he says. “Forgot to plug the fucker in last night before these two chicks came at me.” He thrusts his hips back and forth and holds his hand up in the air while he sticks his tongue out. “Know what I mean?”

“Can we just get on the road now?” Dustin asks as he and Tyler both roll their eyes at Tommy and his stupid antics.

I don’t want to get on a bus for the next five hours with him, but I don’t have a choice.

He goes right for his bedroom, bypassing both Hannah and Chance, who he physically steps over, without a second glance, and a little dart of anger plants itself in my chest.

These little darts are starting to add up, and I’m not looking forward to the time when it all becomes too much and they fire off on Tommy. I’ve gotten close to hitting him twice now, but both times we had others around to stop me. What happens when they’re not there?

Once we’re on the road and Hannah and I are sitting on the couch watching Chance, she quietly asks, “What held him up?”

“Apparently two women.”

She raises both brows and diverts her gaze from me to the floor where Chance is playing with some toy that has buttons and lights and sounds.

“What?” I demand, and my tone is a little snider than I want it to be. She doesn’t deserve my anger, but it’s there anyway.

“Was that...how you were, too?”

I purse my lips. Yeah, it was, but I was never almost an hour late for bus call. “Does it matter?” I mutter.

“I guess not. What about his phone?” she asks.

“He forgot to charge it.”

She shakes her head. “Perfect storm.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You okay?” she asks.

No, I’m not. I can’t believe how much Tommy being late affected me just now.

It’s stupid, and I overreacted, and now I’m overreacting even more because of how that made me feel.

I wish I could be open enough to share those thoughts with Hannah. This is a girl I’m starting to have really strong feelings for, and you’re supposed to share and communicate with someone like that...right?

All that sounds like a lot of work. She doesn’t recognize my pain yet. She can’t read my signals. If we’re really meant to be together, shouldn’t she just know this stuff intrinsically? And it’s not just that. She doesn’t want to know this shit. It’s too much on someone who has already been through...well, too much.

This is where I start to sabotage what we’re starting before we really even get it off the ground.

Instead of confessing my real feelings, I just say, “Yeah, I’m fine.”