Protector Daddy by Taryn Quinn

EIGHTEEN

We spentthe day together as a family. I’d never had a family day before in my life and I still couldn’t quite believe everything was working so well.

I’d been taught to watch for danger. To scan for inherent flaws in the system that could lead to chaos. Instead, even with more cracks than I could imagine, things were just humming along without much of my help.

But I was no dummy. The glue to all of it was Honey.

Best of all? As soon as we’d finished the university tour, she’d called her brother and told him she wasn’t ready for the family grilling and did not want to have it the same weekend she officially met all of my family. He said that was probably wise and that with Thanksgiving this upcoming week, everyone was super busy, anyway.

Oh, and also, Van was having twins. Pass the yams.

“Hmm.” I couldn’t help gazing at Honey’s curvy stomach after dinner as I was helping her wash dishes. Reagan was settling into her bedroom upstairs. It really was almost as if we weren’t playing at this whole family deal.

This could be a true beginning for us.

“Hmm what?”

“You don’t think twins run in your family too, do you?”

“Bite your tongue.” She gasped aloud as she finished loading the dishwasher and started the cycle. “But Murphy had twins!”

I grinned evilly, mostly just to freak her out. “Pretty sure it was just the normal egg splitting there. Happens all the time.”

“Not exactly all the time. Twins are actually pretty rare.”

“Hmm.”

She thwacked me with her wet dish towel, causing me to laugh. I set down my own dish towel and turned toward her to pull her into my arms. “I’d be perfectly happy with one baby.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get your hopes up with all these ideas of babies popping out all over.” She lowered her head. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“I want whatever we both want, subject to change. No preplanned agenda, I swear.” I nuzzled her ear. “Though the practice that kind of situation requires sounds just fine to me.”

“I just bet.” She toyed with my collar. “Guess they only saw the sex of one baby on the ultrasound so far. One is a boy.”

“That’s nice,” I said noncommittally.

She nudged my shoulder. “You want a boy, don’t you? Don’t lie. All men want boys.”

“Do you want a girl?”

“I don’t know. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it while not getting too attached to the idea until I know for sure.”

“That’s smart.”

“It is. But I kind of want a boy.” Honey gazed up at me. “Feels like Reagan should have a brother.”

I buried my face in her hair. “You always say the right thing.”

“I knew it.” She pulled back to give me a triumphant grin. “You think you’re the only one capable of drawing out information, Officer. Ha!”

I laughed and drew her into the center of the kitchen to dance mid-dishwashing just as my parents used to do. Probably still did for all I knew. We didn’t even need music. It took her a minute to give in and move with me, but then she dipped her head to my shoulder and swayed with me as if we’d done this a hundred times before.

“When I’m in your arms, I’m not scared.”

“Good.”

“The rest of the time, my knees are knocking.”

“Join the club.”

She turned her head to peek up at me under the fall of her hair. “You never seem freaked out.”

“Me freaked out? Never.” I tucked her hair behind her ear. “But just so you know, I’m lying. I get scared all the fucking time.”

“Does it help when you’re holding me?”

I traced my finger around her ear. “Holding you helps with everything.” I tightened my hold on her. “You never asked. Well, after the first day, anyway, and that was partly to antagonize me.”

“Asked what?”

“About the flask.”

“Oh. That. I tried to give you space until you were ready to talk about it.”

“I’d just spoken to Reagan and she told me she’d been accepted at SU early decision. And she was going to go.”

Honey leaned back in my embrace to study my face. “But that was a good thing, right? Why did it send you to the bottle?”

“I don’t even know why I even had that flask in my desk. Maybe I just figured one day my wall of lies would come crashing down.”

“Reagan’s mother put you in that position. Not you.”

Honey always leaped to defend me. No matter what. Somehow I’d done something right to deserve this woman in my life.

I lifted her chin with my thumb. “After Reagan’s phone call, I knew that I’d have to tell my family and hell, the whole town about my colossal screw-up. Not making my girl. That I wasn’t the man who could be accepted as her father without fucking drama.”

“You know that was her mother’s choice. It had nothing to do with you.”

I looked away. Logic and what I felt down deep in the middle of the night were two very different things.

“Christian.” Honey grabbed my face between her hands and made me look at her. “I couldn’t ask for a better baby daddy. Could. Not. Ask. For. A. Better. One.”

“St. John’s Wort apparently sometimes messes with birth control.”

“Huh?”

“The tea. After news about us hit the gossip mill, Luna warned me. When she’d first sold it to me for my mom, she hadn’t figured she needed to tell me since, well, for my mom that ship has sailed. But she wanted to make sure I knew in case I was tempted to give you some. I didn’t think twice about it, because I couldn’t do anything about it at that point. I assumed we were covered since, you know, we used condoms too. But I knew not to give you more.”

“Holy crap. I bought some of my own.” She let out a semi-hysterical laugh. “I’ve been drinking it ever since you gave me some. Talk about a crazy happy accident.”

My heart was beating way too fast. “You really feel that way?”

“You know I do.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Should I make a fruit tart to bring to your mother’s? It won’t take very long. I put together a grocery delivery order and it can be here in forty-five minutes once I click deliver.”

From accidental babies we already wanted so much to fancy desserts. Seemed right about on target for us. “She’d probably appreciate it.”

“I would too,” Reagan said from the doorway. “And I can go pick up that order.”

“No, that’s not necessary,” I answered immediately. “It’s snowing again.”

“Hardly anything,” she protested. “I grew up in Buffalo. Believe me, I’m used to snow. Besides, isn’t the grocery store right in town?”

“But the streets up here are steep and could be icy.”

“We can go together,” Honey said brightly, giving me a quelling glance that very clearly told me I should hush.

So I hushed.

A few minutes later, the two of them bundled up and went to the store, Honey’s list in hand. And I sat on a stool at the counter and prepared to make one of the hardest phone calls of my life.

My mom answered on the third ring. “Hi, sweetpea. Don’t tell me you’re calling to cancel.”

“No. I’ll be there.” I straightened my shoulders. “All three of us will be there.”

“Oh, good. I’m so excited to meet Honey. Not that you’ve told me much about her but you know how town scuttlebutt is. Wait, all three? What three?”

“I have to tell you something hard, Mom. I’m sorry I’m telling you on the phone. And that I waited so long. I didn’t intend to. Just as the time passed there was no way to break the ice of the topic.”

“Have you and Honey been together longer than anyone knew?”

“Huh?”

“I thought maybe that’s what you didn’t know how to tell me. But you don’t have to worry about any of us judging what you felt you needed to do, sweetheart. She’s such a lovely girl and maybe you needed to keep her to yourself for a while—”

“Mom, no. She is a lovely girl. The best. She’s opened up my whole world in so many ways. But before Halloween, I was too blind to see what was right in front of my face.”

Oh, how I wished I’d just had this secret affair I’d wanted to hide away from the world. But the truth was so much thornier—and more painful.

“You’re still bringing her tomorrow? Please tell me you are. We all want to get to know her.”

“I am. You’ll all love her. I promise.”

“We don’t doubt it. Vee’s already been singing her praises.”

“I’m glad. I think you will too. I love her, Mom.”

“Capital L?”

She always asked her boys—and girl—that question. Capital L love or little l for just good time love. Not that her daughter had experienced that yet, at least that I’d heard. And it had been a damn long time since I had and never to this extent.

“All caps. Shouty caps,” I added, my mouth curving thinking of Care Bear’s favorite saying. I didn’t even know where she’d picked it up. Probably started out as a Travis phrase at some point. “I want to have a family with her. We’re already starting. I think.”

My mother gasped. “But Halloween was so recent. It’s going so fast.”

“When you know, you know.”

“I’m happy for you, pookie.” My mom let out a long girlish sigh.

The woman was in love with love, and nothing made her happier than when her kids found their person. Even if in Travis’s case, he’d found his person at least half a dozen times. As long as everyone parted as friends, my mom always understood that sometimes it took a few tries to get things right.

But in my circumstance, it was hard to see how I could’ve been more wrong.

“Thanks. Early days yet but we love each other, so I have no complaints. Neither does she, at least that I know of. Other than we both have too large families.”

My mother just laughed. “Happens easily enough, you’ll see.”

“Mom, I got a girl pregnant in high school. We have a daughter. I’d like for her to meet all of you tomorrow.” At the silence on the other end of the line, I rushed ahead. “Honey and Reagan seem to be getting along okay. Honey is so great with her. They went to the store so Honey can get ingredients for a fruit tart, and she knew I was worried about Reagan driving there in this weather, so she offered to take her. She’s a natural.”

Nothing. No reply. I didn’t expect her to jump up and down at this news, but I guess I’d expected something—even if I couldn’t have had any less finesse in the telling if I’d tried.

“Mom?”

“I’m here,” she said quietly.

“Do you hate me?” I tried to keep my voice even, but when it cracked on hate, it was impossible to hide.

“My sweet baby boy, I could never hate you even for a minute.”

I let out a long breath.

“Did you just find out about this girl’s existence? Reagan, did you say?”

“Yes, Reagan.” I pressed my fingers to my temple. “No. I knew about her from the beginning.”

“You knew about her and never told me.” She cleared her throat. “Does your father know?”

“No, of course not. I wouldn’t ask him to keep my secret, especially not from you.” Absently, I reached down to rub Boomer’s ears as he rested his head on my knee. We’d fed him dinner a couple hours ago and after that, he’d gone up to hang out with Reagan in her new bedroom.

The simple domesticity of that had made my heart feel too full for my chest. But now I just felt…empty.

Hurting my mother was one hundred times worse than hurting myself.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted for me,” I began. “Why do you think I never told you or Dad? Or anyone else for that matter?”

“Christian, I may have hoped you’d do things the traditional way, but I never expected you to not take the responsibility you’d been given. Having a child is a gift. If anything, you were always too responsible. Look at Travis. Even after he broke up with Carrington’s mother, he never broke up with Carrington.”

“It wasn’t my fault, Mom. I told you I messed up this story. I wanted her. I wanted Penelope. I bought a ring. I would never have abandoned either one of them. Forever was all I wanted.”

“Then?” my mother demanded.

“She didn’t want forever with me.”

Briefly, I ran through what had happened. I didn’t leave anything out. I told her the gritty truth and that I’d willfully chosen to hide my failures rather than admit I had a daughter out there who didn’t know I existed.

“But she sought you out. She calls you Dad now.”

“Yeah.” I closed my eyes to try to force back the emotion. “Honey and I argued today and she helped mediate. Reagan told her to come find me. I love her, Mom, and I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for not being there. It doesn’t matter that I tried. Obviously, I didn’t try hard enough.”

“And Honey’s okay with her?”

“Yeah.” I cleared my throat to try to force back the jaggedness inside me. “She’s so good with her, Mom. She’s barely older than Reagan and they’re already friends. She’s a fucking miracle. Sorry,” I tacked on automatically.

“She’s a sweet girl. Honey. I’m sure Reagan is too, though I’m no fan of her mother. You never deserved that sort of treatment.”

“No, I didn’t, but I also didn’t put my foot down. I let her drive me away. Things are different now. Reagan has made the decision to have me in her life, especially now that she’s moving here for school.”

The security system went off as someone sped up the driveway, and my heart stampeded in my ears as I went to check the cameras. Honey and Reagan were quick. “Hey, Mom, I gotta go. The girls must be back—”

My eyes narrowed on the white Mercedes SUV in the drive that clearly did not belong to Honey. Reagan’s car was parked ahead of it, left behind since Honey had driven to the store.

What the hell?

“Okay. I can’t wait to meet Reagan. I’m sorry for what you went through alone, but I’m so glad to have another grandchild. I’m so excited to get to know her and Honey.”

“Thanks, Mom. I love you. See you Sunday.”

She answered in kind and clicked off just as a woman in a long hooded gray coat climbed out of the driver’s side of the Mercedes. As she turned to walk up the porch, she lifted her face to the snow and the flawless perfection of her ice blade cheekbones and cool green eyes made me do a double take.

Penelope Conner. Here.

I frowned. Had she figured out Reagan was here? Had she come to try to ruin my happiness once again?

I opened the door and met her on the porch. “Can I help you?”

She threw back her hood and took a long moment to look me up and down, more than once. “Why, Christian, don’t pretend you don’t remember me.”

“I remember you.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “What do you want?”

“That’s how you greet an old friend?”

“We weren’t friends.”

“Yet you are spending time with my daughter.”

“She’s mine every bit as much as yours and came here of her own free will.”

“I don’t doubt that. Reagan has always been very independent and stubborn. When she gets an idea in her head, she won’t be dissuaded. Not that I tried. I let her follow her teenage dreams of a reunion with her precious mysterious daddy.”

“Did you want something?”

“I don’t remember you being so cold.” She trailed her hand down my biceps and it took everything I possessed not to shake her off me.

“Your memory’s faulty then. We aren’t friends or anything else at your doing. Now I asked if you wanted something.”

She propped her hands on her hips. “What if I want to speak to my daughter?”

“She’s not here right now.”

“I always knew she’d find her way to you someday. Maybe I wanted her to. I didn’t move that far away so it wasn’t impossible.”

“Oh, now I’m supposed to think you did things the way you did so she could find her way to me eventually?” Keeping my voice level was a feat. The nerve of this woman. “Though you wouldn’t give her a straight answer to her questions about her father’s identity?”

She tapped her heeled boot impatiently. “Regardless, she made it here. Where is Reagan?”

“The store.”

Penelope’s mouth curved, as thin as a blade. “Without her car in this weather?”

“My girlfriend drove them. They won’t be gone long. I’ll have Reagan call you.”

“Oh, girlfriend too? Isn’t that a cozy picture.” She placed her hand on the lapel of her coat, probably to show off her honking diamond. “Reagan is close with my fiancé Kyle. I hope she likes your girlfriend half as much.”

“She and Honey are getting along great.”

“Honey?” She wrinkled her nose. “What kind of name is that?”

“A great one. Sorry Reagan isn’t here and that you have to leave so soon.”

“You think I’m going to turn around and take off after driving for hours in this snow?”

“Next time, call. Or better yet, next time cut the cord and let your almost college-age daughter have a weekend away without chasing after her.”

“I wouldn’t have to chase her if she hadn’t lied to me about where she was going.”

“Hmm, maybe she takes after her mother there.”

Penelope continued as if I’d never spoken. “Just spending time with Gigi and Gramps. Right. That’s why she suddenly wanted to go to Syracuse University.” She flicked a hand through the dark waves dotted with snowflakes that dripped down her shoulders. “Does she think I was born yesterday?”

I cocked a brow. “I’d guess she thought you couldn’t be mature about the whole thing so she elected not to tell you the truth. Seems like a you problem.”

“I have to say I really can’t claim to appreciate this new bitter side of you. Why, the Christian I remember couldn’t do my bidding fast enough. You were so…solicitous.” Her hand landed on my arm again as headlights flashed over the drive an instant before Honey swung in too fast, as she always did. I didn’t bother chiding her since I knew she’d probably just go faster to poke the bear.

Penelope didn’t remove her hand. If anything, her claws tightened as the laughing women climbed out of Honey’s car and came to a halt at the bottom of the porch steps.

“Christian? Am I interrupting?”

I removed Penelope’s hand from my arm for her, probably rougher than I should have.

Then again, maybe not.

“Hardly. Honey, this is Penelope, Reagan’s mother. She was just leaving.”

“Mom?” Reagan darted around Honey and up the stairs, her arms full of paper sacks. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

“Were you ever going to tell me about your little rendezvous here?”

Reagan stopped at the top of the steps and cocked a hip. “Yeah, once I wasn’t living at home anymore, and you couldn’t say anything one way or another.”

My gaze connected with Honey’s. To her credit, her face showed no emotion whatsoever, and she had set down her bags to pull out her phone. I stepped around Penelope and picked up Honey’s bags before turning to take Reagan’s as well. “Let me have those.”

“Strong man.”

Clearly, I wasn’t the only one who heard the feminine note of appreciation in Penelope’s voice because Honey stepped forward and held out a hand. “I’m Honey. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name.”

“Penelope—” I started, not catching Honey’s drift right away.

“Yep. Didn’t hear it. Oh, well.” She turned to Reagan and smiled. “Ready to help me make that tart?”

Reagan looked between Honey and her mother and hesitated all of five seconds. “Yeah.” She hoisted her purse higher on her shoulder and aimed for the door.

Honey did too but then she stopped in front of me. She took back her bags, set them on the floor, and reached up to grab my face to haul it down to hers.

“Feral,” she whispered to me a minute before her lips crashed down on mine. As hot as her hunger for me was, I was smiling before the kiss ended, simply because I knew she wasn’t jealous so much as staking her claim.

She would always make sure I knew how much she wanted me. And I was duty bound to do the same, which was why I pinched her ass the minute Reagan turned away. I had no desire to traumatize my daughter.

Reagan tossed a quick “bye, mom,” toward her mother, grabbed one of her bags, and hurried inside.

“I got extra strawberries for us,” Honey added softly. She flashed a smile over her shoulder at Penelope, who was wearing an expression that seemed to be a cross between disgust and odd fascination. “He has an insatiable appetite.”

I tugged on her ponytail to bring her mouth back to mine. “I love you,” I mouthed.

That was all for her. I didn’t care what Penelope thought or didn’t think.

She kissed her fingertip and pressed it to my mouth before she picked up her bags and headed inside.

“Little young for you, isn’t she?”

“Yet she’s more mature than any other woman I’ve ever been with.” I hoisted Reagan’s remaining bags and turned toward the door. “Safe trip back.”

“You think it’s all just going your way, don’t you?”

I locked my jaw. “I think I’m making the best of a shitty situation. I’m lucky to have a woman I love and my daughter I love in my life. So I’m through looking backward.”

“Well, yay, for you. So glad everything worked out so perfectly for you and your teen bride.”

“She’s not my bride yet but give me time.” I arched a brow. “And she’s far from a teen. Now if you’re done trading snipes, I’m needed inside.”

“I never poisoned Reagan’s head against you. Not once. Maybe I made some mistakes with her—and I can freely admit that now—but I always made sure she knew her father was a decent, stand-up kind of guy. I didn’t know you’d grow up like this,” she admitted, gesturing wildly, “but that’s neither here nor there. I preserved your rep with her. Don’t I at least deserve some thanks for that?”

“Thanks,” I said shortly. “Better leave soon. That snow isn’t letting up. Call Reagan when you’re home safe so she doesn’t have to worry.”

Slowly, she shook her head. “I really missed the boat with you.”

“Yeah, you really did. But what’s that song named? ‘Unanswered Prayers’? I wouldn’t want to live any version of my life without Honey in it. Drive safe.”

I didn’t look back until I heard her tires crunching over the snow in the driveway as she pulled away. Then I looked long enough just to make sure she was really gone before I locked the door.

I headed into the kitchen to see my girls giggling as they chopped fruit at the counter and silently thanked my lucky stars.

Honey immediately came over to wrap her arms around my waist. “Okay?” she asked quietly.

“So much better than okay.” I looped my arms around her and kissed her temple. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you.”

“Oh, you’re certainly welcome for the honor of my presence.” She giggled when I tugged her hair.

I rounded the counter to hug Reagan from behind as she chopped fruit. “I asked her to let you know when she gets home, Rea.”

“Thanks. You didn’t fight?”

“No. We didn’t. You’re the important one here and we both know that.” I kissed the top of her dark and magenta-streaked hair and stole a piece of the green fruit she was currently cutting into artful shapes. “What’s this?”

“Kiwi.”

“Hmm.”

Honey grinned from the other side of the counter. “His stock answer when he doesn’t know what he thinks of something.”

“Think you’re so smart, huh?”

“Yes.” Honey popped another piece of kiwi in my mouth. “Admit it. It’s delicious.”

Slowly, I chewed and swallowed. “I could learn to live with it.”