Sign Me Up by Dulcie Dameron
Jamie
any of my texts,” I whine from my spot at the kitchen island. Jabbing my spoon into my second bowl of sugary cereal, I sniffle while taking a bite. “He just totally ignored me. Why would he do that, D? Why?” Milk drips from my chin with each crunch and Daria looks on with a grimace.
“Honey, he was probably just really upset at seeing Mike here. I mean, I would’ve kicked the guy in the kneecaps if I’d been here.”
I almost smile at my friend and the way she’s so eager to resort to violence on my behalf. “But still.” I swallow my bite before any more milk trickles down my chin. “He shouldn’t have acted like I wanted Mike to propose. I didn’t!”
Daria rubs my back in soothing motions. “You’re right. He totally shouldn’t have. And he should’ve responded to at least one of your texts.” She lets out a soft sigh. “Have you checked your phone recently?”
I shake my head. “No, it died after the tenth message I sent him so I just chalked it up as a lost cause and plugged it in for the night. I can’t bring myself to check it. Not when I’m positive he’s still furious with me.” I poke my spoon in the cereal and swirl it around. “You didn’t see his face, D. He was so mad.”
“At you or Mike?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. It seemed like he blamed me for him being here.” Staring into the cereal abyss, I mumble, “I knew this was going to happen. This is me and Tyson all over again, but this time it’s worse because it’s Parker. And I love him!” I raise my gaze to meet Daria’s and the uncharacteristic sympathy shining in her eyes makes mine water all over again.
She’s silent while she finishes her own cereal and sets her bowl in the sink when she’s done. “I think you need to quit worrying about it for now. Go see your pops like you always do on Sundays and just get out for a bit. Leave your phone here if you’re afraid to check it.”
I eye her for a minute while I think over her suggestion. “Maybe you’re right. I do need to see him and maybe it’ll lift my spirits.” If things go like they did last week though, it won’t. It’ll only add to my anxiety over the situation with Parker. I guess at this point I can only pray that Pops will be in his right mind and happy to see me.
Daria scoots around the island and wraps me in a hug. “I love you, Jamie. And you’re going to be fine. Parker is your friend. Just remember that. He may need some time to cool off, but I have no doubt he’ll come around for you.”
I meet her eyes and wipe away the last of my tears. “I hope you’re right.”
She smiles. “I think I am. Now go get ready to see your pops.”
I didn’t take long to get ready. Not knowing where I stand with Parker has completely ruined my daily self-care routine. Not only have I lost my hot date from the other night, but I’ve also lost my best friend. The one who I can joke with no matter what, the guy who pranks me as much as I prank him and never gets tired of our antics, the person I feel comfortable enough to tell anything to…and now we’re barely speaking.
I turned my phone on right before I left for the care center and the only text I received from him was one that said, “We need to talk.”
I couldn’t even bring myself to respond. We barely got a chance to explore what a romantic relationship could be like between us and he already wants to break it off. All because Mike showed up at the worst moment ever. When I read the text, I was a puddle of tears all over again so I decided to leave my phone at home.
Daria was right, I did need to get out.
The warm sunshine feels good on my face as I walk down the long sidewalk into the care center. Knowing I’ll get to see Pops soon puts a smile in place of my earlier frown. Even if he doesn’t know it’s me, it’ll still be good to see him.
By the time I reach his room, I feel considerably lighter. “Hey, Pops,” I say as I knock on the doorframe. He looks up from where he’s making his bed and his grin widens.
“Hey, James Gang. Where’ve you been hiding?”
Tears prick the backs of my eyes as I move further into the room. He knows me.
“Nowhere, just been busy with work stuff.” I come around the bed to stand next to him and he immediately wraps me in a hug. I squeeze him tight as the familiar scent of musk and spice overwhelms me, bringing the tears I’ve been fighting to the surface. He’s here. And even though it might not last long, right now, he knows me.
When I begin to sniffle, he runs a hand down the back of my hair. “Aw, what is it, James? Something happen?”
I pull back and wipe a tear from my cheek, nodding. “I just had a fight with my best friend.” I can’t keep the emotion from my voice, and it warbles and squeaks at all the wrong times.
Pops grabs me by the shoulders and lowers me onto the bed next to him. “Tell me about it, James.”
I go into the story of what happened with Parker, from the time he started sending me mixed signals up until last night. Pops even nods at the appropriate times like he’s really listening, and it gives me hope that he is. I’m full-on crying again by the end, doing my best to swipe away the tears before they dampen the bedspread beneath us.
“Parker is the one you work with, right?” he asks. I smile at the simple fact that he remembers.
“Yes, that’s him.”
He gives me a slow nod. “Everything you’ve told me about him points to him being a good guy. But even us good guys get our wires crossed sometimes, especially,” he says, booping me on the nose, “when there’s a beautiful girl in our sights. It sounds like he needed to leave before he took that guy Mike’s head off.”
I laugh, but it’s weak. “You think so?”
“I do. You said before that he got jealous of some messages this guy sent you, so he probably feels like Mike already has a leg up on him. Maybe he wonders if he can even compete for your heart.”
“But there’s no competition, Pops. I’d always choose Parker.”
Pops smiles so wide, the gold cap on one of his molars winks at me. “Then I think you need to go get your man.” All at once his smile falters and his brows pinch together. “That reminds me, have you seen Loretta around today? I can’t seem to find her.”
My heart sags at the question. “No, Pops,” I say, my own smile dimming. “Not today.”
He nods and pats my leg. “I’m sure she’ll turn up soon. She’s never gone for long. Besides, it’s been good to talk with you.”
I reach over and pull him into a hug. “It’s been so good to talk with you too.”
I end up staying for another half hour until Pops’s eyes begin to droop while he rests in his recliner. When I pull into my driveway at home, a very familiar guy sits on my front step with a baby plant in his large hands.
I put my car in park and stare at Parker through my passenger-side window. His expression is so pained, it almost makes me want to weep again just looking at him. He immediately rises when I get out of my car and starts toward me.
When we’re an arm’s length away from each other, I can’t bring myself to meet his eyes. Then the cutest little green plant comes into view as he holds it out to me. I slowly lift my gaze to his. A sheepish smile crosses his face as he retracts the plant and sets it down on the front step.
I’m sorry about last night. Can we talk?
I pull my sweater a little tighter around my midsection and motion for us to go inside. Though it’s sunny, it’s still too cold to be hanging out in the frigid air for a long time and I have no idea how this conversation is going to go. If I had to guess, there will most definitely be some crying. From me. Not Parker.
After he grabs the plant, I let us in and lead him to the couch where he sits and faces me, our knees touching. He looks so large, almost too large for my grandparents’ retro floral couch.
May I go first?he asks.
Trepidation claws its way up my throat. This is it. He’s going to say we were better off as friends. That though he’s sorry for how things went down, we never should’ve taken our relationship to a romantic level.
I inhale a deep breath and try to guard my heart against what’s to come.
At my nod, Parker begins signing. I was wrong to get so upset. It wasn’t you I was mad at, it was Mike. I… He averts his eyes and swallows. Sometimes I struggle with insecurity. Maybe it stems from being bullied some as a kid, I don’t know. But when I saw Mike propose to you with that gigantic ring, it made me think that I’d never measure up. Plus, you’ve dated him. You guys have a history. And you and I have only ever been just friends.
My heart twists when Parker signs those last words. We might’ve only been friends up until the other night, but something changed between us then—something significant. And the thought of going back to being just friends nearly cracks my heart in two.
“You need to know that I didn’t want Mike to propose,” I say as well as sign. “He approached me in the mall last week while I was with my friends and basically told me he was ready to propose.”
Parker stiffens and his expression turns hard. I rush on before his anger has the chance to boil over. “But I told him that we were over. I walked away from him, expecting to never hear from him again. Which is why I was shocked when he showed up here last night.”
Parker looks down and picks at his thumbnail. I tap his knee to get his attention. “I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you. Yes, he has been texting me, but I’ve only been giving him one-word answers. I’ve tried to make it clear to him that he and I are over. What happened last night was completely unwarranted, I promise.”
His green eyes glisten like emerald pools. I should’ve stayed. I’m sorry. A good friend wouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.
“You’re still a good friend, Parker.”
He doesn’t respond in sign, just watches me, waiting for something more. He hasn’t told me yet that he thinks we’re better off as friends. And he confessed that he struggles with insecurity which means maybe I’m the one who has to stake my claim here—to go for what I really want, without holding back.
I can’t keep letting a past high school relationship dictate my future with Parker. It’s now or never.
“But I don’t want to be friends anymore,” I say as I bite my lip and I wait for his reaction.
His face falls. You don’t?
I shake my head. “No. I want more. I’m tired of being just friends with you.”
Nothing happens for a long, breathless moment, until finally, he grabs both of my hands and runs his thumbs over them, leaning in closer. He nuzzles my nose with his before gently pressing his lips against mine. When he pulls back, he brings his hands between us to sign, I have never wanted to be only friends with you. I love you, Jamie.
Tears well in my eyes against my will. “You do?”
He nods as he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. With all my heart. I’m yours. I’ve been in love with you almost as long as I’ve known you.
Crying, I grab his face and kiss him with so much force, it knocks him back. But before I can deepen it the way I want to, he sets me away from him and with a playful smile, signs, Does this mean you love me too?
A grin splits my mouth wide. “Of course I do you stupid man. Now kiss me.”