All the Wrong Choices by C.A. Harms

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Jonah

With my fingerslinking with Heather's, I pull open the door to Russo's and lead her inside. She looks back over her shoulder and smiles at me, and again my sole focus goes straight to her two front teeth. You'd think after several weeks of dating, I'd find something else to hold my attention by now.

Things with Heather are easy. There is no tension or expectations. There is also no sex, just a few kisses at the end of a night, and honestly, it's good enough for me. I want to want her the way I wanted Dani, I want to crave her, but there is always a sense of weighted tension holding me back.

"I'm going to run to the ladies' room," Heather steps in closer to me and lifts on her tiptoes to press a kiss to my jaw. "Will you order me a red wine and tell Avery and Tucker I'll only be a minute?"

"You got it," I wink at her, trying to hide the tension I feel, and she seems to be convinced. It has become a thing for us, every Tuesday night, we'd meet my sister and Tuck for dinner or drinks. I think Avery is smart enough to pick up that I'm struggling, but Tucker believes Heather and I couldn't be more perfect.

I spot them at a table near the back and start in their direction. Avery holds up her hand to wave me over. "Where's Heather?" She looks around.

"Restroom," I say, avoiding direct eye contact with my sister. I've been doing that a lot lately. She tends to have the ability to see right through me.

"Good evening sir, can I get you something to drink?" Our waiter stands next to the table, and I focus on him instead.

"Red wine and a glass of water with lemon." I'm not feeling much like drinking. I don't have much of an appetite either.

Tucker and Avery are arguing over something on the menu, and instead of paying attention to them, I look around the restaurant. It has been a while since I've been here. The atmosphere is soothing, with light jazz playing over the speakers and individual light fixtures hanging over every table, making the lighting somewhat dim and romantic.

I scan over the entire bar before shifting quickly back to the right, and my whole body grows rigid. Silver high heels, a pair I've seen before—the same pair of stilettos which at one point were lifted in the air by silky toned legs. Parted legs and her back arched while I—

The woman turns to the other woman at her side, and my entire body breaks out in a thin layer of sweat. My heart rate is speeding up, and I fist my hand in my lap.

"What's wrong?" I hurry to look away from the bar and gain some composure, but it's too late. I know when I see Avery's face.

"Nothing," I try anyway because I don't want Dani to see me. Since she left my house, I've managed to avoid her, yet here I am now in the same restaurant with another woman.

"Are you sure?" Avery pushes, and then I spot Heather walking toward us.

"It's nothing," I look away from her and feel my neck heat. Avery spins around in her chair, looking behind her.

Heather squeezes in beside me, and I attempt to move her chair out for her but end up practically tipping it over backward, and the sound of it screeching across the floor echoes louder than one would think possible.

Heather giggles, I try to hide my face, and when I look up to see Avery glaring at me, I know she's picked up on my mood.

"Did you order yet?" My mind feels cloudy, taking me a few seconds to realize Heather has asked me a question.

"Just drinks," I clarify, and she offers me a sweet smile.

"Thanks," whispering she leans in closer and, without warning, presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth. I am a bit surprised because we haven't crossed over to the snuggling, flirtatious touchy-feely in public or alone for that matter. When her hand lands on my thigh, I stare at her, not sure of how to react.

Our waiter returns, and while he moves around the table to take everyone's order, I look past him and find myself staring directly into Danielle's eyes. She is standing up from her chair and turning around to leave when she freezes. I recognize the other girl she is with as her friend Gina.

A moment passes between us, her looking to my side, I'm sure noticing I'm next to a woman before looking back to me once more. Quickly she averts her gaze, and when she begins to walk toward the door, I half expected her to look at me once again, only she doesn't.

"Will you split it with me?" I find everyone looking at me, including our waiter. I've zoned out, and from the annoyed look my sister is offering me, I'd say it was longer than just a few seconds.

"Sure," I agree, to what, I have no fucking clue. My heart is still hammering in my chest and my back aches from the tension coiling through me. Seeing Dani again hits me harder than I thought it would, and it takes everything I have not to chase after her. My legs are still vibrating with the urge to seek her out.

* * *

I walkHeather to her door, much like I have many times before. She steps up onto the landing leading to the front door of her apartment and tugs me closer with her hand in mine.

I'm once again thinking of Dani when Heather wraps her arms around my neck and leans in closer. "I know we said we'd take things slow," she whispers while continuing to move in inch by inch. I should stop her, I should back away, but I'm lost in a particular memory of Dani that, to be honest, it's taking far too long for my brain to catch up with my actions. "I was hoping maybe the waiting period was over."

"Waiting period?"

Heather nods, biting her lower lip, and it may have been sexy if I could stop focusing on her damn teeth. "I'm asking you if you want to stay over, Jonah?"

Did I want that?

Could I do that?

None of this is fair to Heather, and I know I can't take that step, not yet. I can't do to her what Dani and I attempted to do. I can't have sex with Heather when my mind is still very much involved with Dani. It's wrong.

"I want to," even that feels wrong to say. "But I think we need to wait."

"Usually, isn't it the girl who is playing hard to get?" She arches her brow, and even though she isn't Danielle, I still find the gesture cute. "You're making this difficult, Jonah."

"Sorry," lifting my hand, I push back the hair that has fallen in her face, and I cup her jaw. Trailing my thumb over her lower lip, she smiles. "There's no reason to rush."

She pouts, and I move in closer, hooking my free hand around her waist, pulling her body to mine. Why can't I feel anything for this woman? I want to feel something, a spark of hope, we can be an us if I give it a chance.

Gently I press my lips to hers and try with every ounce of strength I have to clear my mind. I focus on the way her mouth moves against mine, the way her tongue caresses my own, and the soft moan that escapes her. I concentrate on the feeling of her body in my arms. How she fits with minimal effort as if she belongs there.

"You say take it slow," she adds breathlessly, "then you kiss me like that."

When I pull back, I find her with her eyes closed and her lips parted.

"You don't play fair, do you?"

I smile at her words. "Something to look forward to."

I want it to be accurate. More than anything, I want to invest all my emotions and energy into Heather, but as I walk away toward my car, I know I am reaching for the impossible. A huge part of me hates Dani for making me fall for her; even though I know that isn't fair, it doesn't stop the feeling from coming.

How does one truly move on when their heart is still with someone else?