The Vengeance You Crave by Tracy Lorraine
Peyton
Ican barely keep my eyes open as I drive home after my shift. Once again, there was no sight of Luca, so I can only assume that he's got better things to do than to come after me for shit that happened between us years ago.
Part of me is glad. My life is hard enough right now, the last thing I want to do is rehash the past and try to plead my innocence and convince him that I only told him what I found out because I thought he deserved to know. But the other part, the part that deep down still misses the boy who stole my heart and touched my soul, craves that connection we once had.
In all our years apart, I've never found anything close to what we had.
He was my best friend. My everything. And I'm pretty sure it would have continued that way. We certainly never did anything wrong, anything to deserve to be ripped apart as we were.
Every muscle in my body aches as I throw the door open and climb out.
All I want to do is curl up in bed, but I know I've got a few hours to go yet. I've got assignments that I need to make a start on. This isn't going to work if I fall behind on day one. And I have to make this work. The future isn't just about me anymore. I have people relying on me to provide a future.
It's not unusual that Aunt Fee is still up and the lights are on, so I don't think anything of it as I walk toward the house. That is until the front door opens and someone steps out.
"Oh my God," I squeal when I register who it is.
My exhaustion is suddenly forgotten as I run into his arms.
"I didn't know you were coming," I say as he returns my embrace, holding me tight.
"I didn't tell anyone. Surprise," he says, releasing me and holding his arms out to the sides.
"Aunt Fee must have lost her shit."
He chuckles at me. "She was pretty excited."
"Man, I wish I was here to see her face."
"Come on," he says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "She's made you something to eat."
Guilt floods me, I hate that she feels like she needs to stay up and make sure I'm okay. The deal with moving in here wasn't for her to look after me.
"My boy's home," she announces with a wide smile on her face as we enter the kitchen.
Elijah's a Marine and has been on tour for months after being based on the other side of the country. I know that Aunt Fee is mega proud of him, but she also misses her youngest something awful.
He's the same age as my sister, and although they were always closer growing up, the two of us connected after she left. He was at Trinity Royal, and Mom insisted on cooking him a decent meal once a week and doing his laundry as a favor to Aunt Fee. He obliged because, well, what male college student could turn down the offer of free food and laundry services. But it gave us a chance to chat. He was the only real friend I had after leaving Rosewood, which is kind of embarrassing because he's basically family. But my heart and trust were in tatters post-Luca so it's not all that surprising really that I didn't let anyone in.
Aunt Fee places a bowl of mac and cheese in front of both of us and excuses herself for a few minutes.
"Mom says you're working at a bar," he says, suspicion evident in his tone along with his raised eyebrow. "How'd you swing that?"
"My charm, I guess."
"What bar, Peyton?" he growls, putting on his protective big brother act.
I shake my head at him, really not wanting to get into it. Elijah grew up in Maddison so I have no doubt he knows all about the things that go on behind closed doors inside The Locker Room. "It—"
Thankfully, Aunt Fee walks back in cutting off whatever I was going to say in the hope of changing the topic of conversation.
"It's so nice having you all here," she says, going to the cake tin on the side and pulling the lid off.
"Is everything okay?" I ask, knowing that she went to the back room.
"Perfect. Nothing to worry about." She smiles at me softly, but although she says the words I want to hear, she knows full well that I'll still worry. "How was work?" she asks, completely ignoring the obvious tension radiating from her son because there's no way she'd miss it, she's too perceptive.
"You know, the usual. Busy."
"Have you cut your hours yet? You know it's going to get too much, now classes have started." She pins me with a look while Elijah's eyes burn into the side of my face.
"N-no, not yet. I want to do as much as I can."
"Pey," she warns.
"I know what I'm doing," I argue. I have no clue what I'm doing.
"I trust you, but I'm worried. I know you're strong, but you can't take on the world single-handedly."
I pick at my mac and cheese, still full of the food she packed for me and sent me to work with. When she pulls out her homemade cake, Elijah's eyes light up but I make my excuses and leave them to get caught up.
I quietly poke my head into the back room to make sure everything really is okay before I make my way upstairs to my room.
It's tiny, barely more than a closet, but it's got everything I need and it's a hell of a lot more than I'd be able to afford if I were out on my own right now.
Ripping the hoodie from my body—one of Elijah's I stole years ago when he stayed with us for a week or two—I grab a clean pair of pajamas and head for the shower to wash the scent of the bar off me.
* * *
I walk onto campus the next morning already feeling like I belong. Meeting Ella and Letty yesterday was exactly what I needed. Just like the day before, I lose myself in class the second our professor starts talking and the morning flies by.
Before I know it, our class is drawing to an end and I’m taking notes on our first assignment before following all the others from the auditorium and heading out of the building.
The winter sun blinds me as I step out into the coolness and suck in deep lungfuls of fresh air.
Checking my surroundings, I head in the direction that Ella and I walked from the coffee shop I met them both in yesterday. I can't see either of them when I pull the heavy door open and step inside, so I once again join the line and order myself some lunch, my stomach growling loudly as I wait, seeing as I woke up too late to grab any food this morning.
I stayed up long after I should have, trying to get on top of yesterday's assignment and when the alarm went off this morning, I turned it off and rolled over. Needless to say, it was the wrong move and I ended up running around like a headless chicken to get here on time this morning.
With my veggie wrap and cappuccino in hand, I make my way over to an empty table for four at the back of the coffee shop and get comfortable.
I push down concerns that Ella and Letty might bail on me. They have every right to do so, we don't actually know each other, but I really want to trust them and tell myself that their class just has run over.
Sitting back in the chair, I look around at all the students eating their lunch and chatting with friends. I don't recognize anyone. It's no surprise. Aside from Ella, Letty, Luca, or Leon, I would probably struggle to recognize anyone I went to school with in Rosewood if they're here, just like I wouldn’t expect anyone to give me a second glance. It's not just my hair that's different these days. I'm older, wiser, hardened to the realities of life and the pain that comes along with it. I barely recognize myself in the mirror some days, anyone else doesn't stand a chance.
Moving my eyes to the windows, I gasp in shock when they land on a very familiar figure.
Luca.
My heart jumps into my throat and my stomach knots, threatening to bring up the few mouthfuls of lunch I've already had.
He's standing with three other guys. I don't think I know any of them, but I find it hard to really focus on them because I'm still too drawn to Luca even after all these years.
His hair is shorter than it was back in high school and instead of flopping down on his brow, it's styled away from his face. His jaw is squarer, sharper, and covered in dark scruff from days of not shaving. His lips are just as full as I remember and I can't help running my tongue along my bottom one as I wonder if he still tastes the same. His nose is still straight and just the perfect size. Seriously, if football didn't work out, he could totally be a model. But what I really want to see but can't from this distance, are his eyes. They were always the most mesmerizing green. I could get lost in them for hours and I'm sure that's something that's not changed.
I'm so lost in watching him with his friends that I don't notice when Ella and Letty join me. The movement of them pulling the chairs out around me causes a small shriek to fall from my lips.
"They're pretty distracting, right?" Ella asks, her eyes locked on the same guys that mine were on only seconds ago.
"U-uh…" I stutter, really not wanting to get into anything about the reason behind my fascination. "Y-yeah. Don't tell me, they're part of the football team?"
"What gave them away?" she asks with a laugh. "The arrogance they ooze or their over-the-top confidence?"
"B-both," I confess.
Letty looks over at them, but she shows much less interest than Ella whose eyes seem to linger on one of them a little too long.
"One of them yours?" I ask Ella, the thought of her being Luca's girlfriend—or anyone being with him really—makes my stomach knot painfully.
"Pfft," she says, ripping her eyes away from them and focusing on her lunch. "All they do is fuck and chuck. Fucking pigs."
"Ignore her, she's been burned by number twenty-two," Letty chips in.
"I have not been burned, thank you very much."
"Riiight, so you don't spend most of the day looking around for him," she deadpans.
Ella's back straightens but her anger is hard to take seriously with the smirk playing on her lips.
"Oh, did you want to revisit your issues with certain members of the team, Miss Hunter?"
Ella's eyes hold Letty's for a beat before they drop to the table. Intrigued as to what's holding her attention, I follow her stare.
"Holy crap, are you engaged to a football player?" I blurt without thought.
Letty chuckles as I admire her stunning black diamond engagement ring. I can't help but wonder the reason behind the color of the stone. It's stunning, unique and I just know there's a story there for him not to have gone for the standard.
"Yeah. Not one of those guys though."
Relief floods me. I have no say in what Luca does or who he's attached to anymore. That ship has long sailed but I can't help wanting to hear that he's not a player, that he's single, that he's held out for me.
I almost laugh out loud at my thought—okay, fantasy.
I already know it's not true, I've spent enough time scrolling through his social media over the years to know that he's always got a girl on his arm.
"Kane's… different," Ella explains, making Letty snort a laugh.
"You can say that again."
With a soft smile playing on her lips, Letty gives me the CliffsNotes of her relationship with her fiancé. The story makes my chest ache hearing about how they grew up together but spent most of their teen and young adult years at each other's throats before figuring their shit out after finding themselves at MKU together unexpectedly. I'm sure there's a hell of a lot more to the story than she lets on in her five-minute run down, but even still, it gives me hope. Probably naïvely, but my teenage heart still craves my all-American boy from the fancy house a few streets over who stole my heart with one cheeky smile.
"Sounds like you two have quite the story," I force past the giant lump in my throat.
"It wasn't love at first sight, that's for sure. So what about you? Got a boy on the scene?"
I chuckle, thinking of the boy who's taken over my life recently. "Nope. Boys are off my radar right now."
"We'll fix that Friday night, right, Let? You got the night off, right?"
"Umm…" I hesitate. "My boss wouldn't let me switch," I lie, guilt eating me as I do. I really want to make the most of this budding friendship, but equally, I don't want to be at a party where he's likely to be. The longer I can remain hidden in the shadows the better.
"Damn, girl. You're just going to have to come after. We're going to sort our costumes tomorrow after class. Wanna join?"
My lips part to refuse, but tomorrow is my night off and I'll feel like a jerk if I pass up this opportunity.
"S-sure, I'd love to," I say, not having to force the smile that appears on my face at the thought of spending time with them off campus.
"Perfect. We'll have you looking like such a goddess that all the boys will be tripping over themselves to get to you," she says, rubbing her hands together as if I've just turned into a little pet project for her.
"Uh… that's okay. I don't—"
"You can argue as much as you like," Letty interrupts. "But I should warn you that she'll still get her way."
"Hey, you make me sound like a control freak," Ella argues.
"I'm not trying to make you sound like one, you are one."
Ella huffs in frustration but movement outside the window stops me from focusing on her response to Letty.
My heart picks up speed as the guys head this way.
My pulse thunders through my body and my chest begins to heave as panic assaults me.
He can't come in here. He just can't.
I wring my trembling hands under the table, my eyes tracking the group’s movement as they get closer.
My eyes flash to the only door, the one they're about to walk to.
I can't even escape.
My head spins as the thought of coming face to face with him once more in public becomes more and more a reality when he claps his hand on one of his friend's shoulders, says something briefly and then takes off in the opposite direction without looking back.
Holy fuck. That was close.
"Peyton, are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost."
"Oh, um… yeah, sorry. I just remembered something that I…" I trail off, not able to finish the sentence, not only because it's all a lie but because I literally can't form words as I watch his back retreat around the corner.
The realization that I need to man up and talk to him slams into me.
I'm two days into this new start and I'm already a mess.
I hoped that I'd be able to avoid him.
This campus is huge. We should be able to live entirely separate lives without ever bumping into each other. But of course that's not how this is going to work because fate is a bitch and for some reason the universe thinks that we need to be close once more.
They both look at me with concerned expressions while I fight to get myself under control.
"Everything's fine, I promise."
They both smile, but neither of them look like they believe me. Thankfully, though, they let it go. For now. I have no doubt that if this budding friendship continues then they're going to want to know more about me and if—when—Luca and I collide again, they're going to have even more questions about me seeing as he's the King of MKU. Hell, they've both probably already slept with him.
Once we've finished eating and thankfully started gossiping about things that don't involve me, my past or a certain quarterback, Ella excuses herself to her afternoon class, and Letty and I head for the library.
Thankfully, she seems to be as dedicated to her studies as I am and not much is said between us as we sit at a table together and tap away on our laptops. We work in comfortable silence and I can't help feeling more at home than I have in quite a long while, just in her presence.
I slump down in my chair, my shoulders aching from the position I'm sitting in and let out a sigh. The time is ticking by and it's impossible to forget that I've got another shift tonight.
And it's Tuesday. I silently groan. For some reason, Tuesday nights are the busiest of the week. But, while it might be crazy, it also comes with extra tips. Money is the reason I'm there, so I swallow down my dread.
"It'll get better," Letty says softly.
"Huh?" I ask, still lost in my own head about what tonight is going to hold to have a clue of what she's talking about.
"Starting over. It'll get better."
"Oh, yeah. I know. I've just got a lot of family shit going on right now. It's kinda dragging me down," I say, risking opening up to her.
"Ugh, that's the worst. Do you want to talk about it?"
The thought of telling my truths, exposing my pain is about as terrifying as looking directly into Luca's angry eyes again.
"N-no, not really."
"Okay. Well, if you do. We're here. I know how hard it is so if there's anything I can do."
"T-thank you," I whisper, my voice cracking with emotion.
I haven’t told anyone my reality. Everyone in my circle knows what happened because they've been a part of it. The thought of just saying the words shatters my heart, I can only imagine how painful it'll be when I finally run out of excuses and have to confess everything.
"I need to head out."
"Work again?"
"Always. Gotta pay for all this somehow."
"It'll be worth it in the end," she says, closing down her laptop to walk out with me. "I've got a shift tonight too while Kane's at practice.” Her entire expression changes when she says his name and I can't help but smile knowing she's found that.
There have been times over the years where I thought true love and happily ever afters were a myth. I thought I had it, but it was ripped from under me before I knew what happened. We might have been young but I knew. And what if that was my only chance? Am I now destined to a life as a spinster?
I shake my head, pushing away my insecurities about my life and my future.
We chat about her job in a coffee shop and the apartment she shares with her fiancé as we make our way to the parking lot.
"See you tomorrow for toga construction?" she says as I open my car door.
"Yeah, sounds like fun."
"If Ella is involved then you can guarantee it."
