Whipping Girl by L. Jacobs
Chapter 25 – Ally
“You think he’ll ever talk to me again, Whipping Girl?” I take my eyes off of my laptop and look over to Ivan as he lounges on the couch in our room. He says it casually, like he doesn’t care about my answer but I know that the growing distance between he an Alexander has been bothering him, his son barely acknowledges his existence and only speaks to him when it’s in regard to me. The only reason he’s even been allowed to be here is because I’m not leaving the room, a man named Greg is outside on lookout and Alexander had to take the rest of the guys with him to follow up on a tip they got about Peter’s whereabouts.
“I’m not sure, Ivan.” I answer honestly. I tried to talk to Alexander about his anger toward his father but he shut that conversation down pretty quickly.
“I never wanted kids.” He says suddenly, sitting forward so his elbows rest on his knees as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration, reminding me of Alexander as he does. “I knew Amelia was pregnant, I knew it was most likely mine, Link was too meticulous to let an unplanned pregnancy happen, but I never wanted to be part of its- his life... but then I saw him, this tiny little baby with dark hair and I knew Link would come looking for revenge after Amelia died. I did what I had to do, you know? I picked him up and I took him somewhere that I thought he would be safe, far from Link and from this life.”
“Amelia? That was Alexander’s Mother’s name?” He looks up at me and gives a small nod, his eyes pained before he puts his head back in his hands. “Why did Link want revenge? Did the two of you have an affair?” I ask softly, not wanting him to think I’m judging him, just wanting more information.
“Not exactly.” He scoffs.
“I don’t understand.”
“If Alexander hasn’t told you then I don’t think he wants you to know.” He says. “I can’t say that I blame him either, I’ve done some fucked up things in my line of work but what they made me do to her…” He trails off but it’s enough to make me put two and two together and I gasp at the realization. He looks toward me again, seemingly shocked at what he just revealed. No. Oh My God.
“You- what they made you do to her? What did they make you do, Ivan?” He doesn’t say anything else, just shakes his head quickly, looking ashamed with himself. “Are you telling me that they made you rape Amelia?” I’m appalled and I don’t care if he knows it. “Is that something that they had all of you do often? Oh, God... has Alexander done anything-”
“No! No! That was the only good thing that Link ever did, he put a stop to forcing us to use that method of… torture. I swear to Christ, Alex has never done anything of the sort.” I feel relieved and immediately ashamed for thinking Alexander would do something like that. Ivan has his hands up like I might be a wild animal that he needs to fend off, completely uncomfortable with the conversation that he started.
“But you have? You raped Alexander’s Mom?”
“Jesus Christ, he might actually kill me after this. I didn’t have a choice!”
“You always have a choice!” I scream at him. “You raped a woman and created a child! A child that now hates you and then you have the balls to complain because he won’t speak to you? This is what you deserve, Ivan!” I shake my head, looking away from him in complete disgust.
“I know!” His voice cracks but I can’t look at him to see if he’s crying, I feel sick that I’m even in the same room with him.
“You made your bed, Ivan.” I tell him, my voice wobbling with emotion. I can’t believe this, no wonder Alexander has been so close mouthed about finding out Ivan was his Father.
“There is no excuse for what I did but we were brought up to take orders, Allyanna. You may have been there when you were young but you were just a pawn to them, Alex was the only one who even cared if you were dead or alive. You may think that you understand but there is no way that you could ever know the torment that we went through as children! We were forced to shut down when our conscious told us that what we were doing was wrong! You don’t know what that’s like, you can’t understand it unless you go through it. Alexander had you to bring him back but I had nothing and no one until I had Alexander! Fuck!” He screams out so loud that I finally look over with wide eyes, witnessing him in full breakdown mode. He upends the coffee table then doubles over and starts crying like a baby. I’m not sure what I should do in my shock, I’m still completely sickened but he’s absolutely right. I don’t understand what they’ve been through, I’ve seen the scars and the emotional consequences of Alexander’s training but I could never fully understand everything that happened to them, my upbringing was cushy when compared to theirs and my judgement must feel like a slap to the face to men like them.
I walk toward him slowly, unable stand here and watch while such a strong man breaks down this way. I touch his shoulder when I reach him and he looks up at me as if looking for absolution for his sins, his face showing his lifelong pain and sorrow as he pleads with me through his eyes. “I can’t even say that I’m sorry for it.” He sobs. “If I do then that means that I regret Alexander and I can never be sorry that he exists.” I don’t want to pity him, he did a terrible thing and I don’t want him to feel better for it, he deserves this suffering but he’s also right… without that terrible thing then Alexander wouldn’t have been born. Ivan continues to cry while I lead him back to the couch then sit on the edge beside him, patting his back as he opens his mouth and tells me everything. He gives me information that I’ve been dying for for years but now that I know, I realize that I really HAD NO CLUE. Things that they had went through while training, how he had known Alexander was his and tried to make life just a little easier on him by making him stronger even when that meant that he had to hurt him more. He tells me how Alexander changed the entire organization even though it put a big target on his back and how he was so proud of the man that his son has become. “I tried to make it right for her, I protected the boy that she had wanted to save then I tried to be the best father that I didn’t know how to be, Allyanna.” He finishes.
I’m not sure what to say to him after all of that, he’s given me more information in the past hour than I think Alexander ever has and I’m a little shocked and horrified. I feel sick when I think about the little boy that I first met going through all of that, he was just a little boy! How can they do that? What gives them the right?
“Alexander hasn’t told me about most of that, I had assumed from his scars that he was tortured but to actually know… I think I’m going to be sick.” I place my hand over my mouth and try to breathe through it, focusing all of my attention on the still broken bathroom door for distraction.
“I didn’t imagine that he would have, he knew that it would be hard on you and he’s always wanted to keep things as easy and normal for you as possible.” He says softly.
“I know and that’s why I try not to push-”
“We’ve gotta move!” Greg bursts through the door in a rush.
“What?” Ivan stands, discreetly wiping his face. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Alexander just called, they were set up and he wants us to move out.” Greg moves swiftly across the room, grabbing my purse even as Ivan and I just stand there in shock.
“He didn’t call me.” Ivan says, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, causing my hackles to rise as well.
“I don’t know what to tell you, he just called and told me to get the girl the fuck out of here. His words.” Ivan grabs his phone from his pocket, scrolling his thump down the screen but I stop him with a hand on his arm.
“It’s fine. I just need to put my hair up and we can get going.” I look toward Greg to see his reaction and when I see nothing I look back at Ivan. “He’s with them.”
Ivan moves in front of me as he reaches behind his back to grab his gun but Greg is faster, two quiet gun shots later and Ivan drops to the floor in front of me. Screaming, I drop to my haunches, trying to roll him on to his back so I can see where he’s been hit but I can’t move him by myself! Greg chuckles as he walks toward me, pulling out a much different kind of gun from the inside pocket of his jacket pocket.
“We can do it this way too, I was just trying to avoid the mess.” I feel a sharp pinch in my neck as he shoots me with something. I try to stand but my legs give out and I fall to the floor, I try to lift my arms so I can crawl away but they’re completely useless as a heavy fog falls over me. Ivan groans quietly and when I look to him I can see his eyes on me, his face pale.
“He’ll find you.” He rasps quietly.
My eyes close and the world fades away.
“Mmm, girl, you have grown up!” The semi-familiar voice has me blinking my eyes open, but I can see nothing but black as I try to sift through the fog in my head. I’m blindfolded. Why? I try to pull my hand down to remove the obstruction but I quickly realize that my hand- both of my hands are tied above me. Terror takes over when the owner of the voice finally registers. Peter. I lay still as I try to catch my bearings, breathing deeply to fight the nausea that the drugs had created. How long has he had me and where the hell am I? The hotel. Ivan… Oh, God. He’s dead.
Loud footsteps bring me back to the present, the sound echoing loudly throughout the room we’re in. A hand touches the skin of my cheek and I jerk my face away but it’s only my blindfold that he was after, he pulls it away and I have to close my eyes tightly when the bright lighting of the room nearly has my skull splitting in half. Everything feels so weird, dizzying and murky. When I’m finally able to open my eyes the lights move slowly across my vision, like ribbons of white in the gray room.
“Do you remember me?” A face enters my field of vision and I cringe away from him but the unforgiving surface below me doesn’t allow me any leeway to escape. He’s not a bad looking guy, he’s old enough to be my father but if I didn’t know he was a vile pedophile, I would even consider him reasonably good looking. All I see when I look into his hardened hazel eyes is the worst kind of monster, a monster who preys on vulnerable little girls. “I thought you might.” He cackles sickly. “Sorry if you’re feeling a little out of it, Darling. Those drugs will do that to you.” His voice seems to swirl around me, the nasally words echoing in my mind and causing the liquid in my stomach to rise into my throat, I swallow over and over until the nausea passes, a warm tear trailing down the side of my face distracts me as I track it’s movements to the inside of my ear. Yeah, I’m definitely drugged up.
“My- uh, wha…” My jaw feels heavy and I can’t get my words out right, I try again but I stop when Peter shakes his head at me.
“Shhh...” his finger goes to my lips, pressing hard enough that I can taste blood on my tongue but I barely feel any pain. “We’re going to get well acquainted with each other soon enough, I just want you to relax and get comfortable, hopefully the show will start soon.” He waggles his eyebrows, his excitement fuming off of him. He takes his disgusting finger away at the sound of more footsteps and I turn my head to watch as four men rush toward us, Greg amongst them.
“We've got a problem.” One of the new guys says. “We couldn't get him, the rest of our men are dead.”
“Fuck!” Peter roars, looking up at the ceiling for answers.
“I think he knew it was a set-up, Peter, it looked like he just walked in there with his gun blazing. It was a fucking massacre.” New man says. They’re talking about Alexander, he killed the rest of their men. Good.
I can’t help the relieved laugh that leaves my mouth, I’m beyond scared and drugged out of my mind but if he’s alive then he’s already looking for me and these bitches don’t stand a chance.
My head whips to the side, it’s only the burning tingle on my face that lets me know that I was just slapped, my laughter dies but my smile does not as I look up to a very angry and red faced Peter.
“Keep smiling, Darling. I’m going to enjoy every second of what I’m going to do to you, so go ahead and show those teeth while you still can.” His nostrils flair with his words and as they sink in, my smile finally slips from my face. “Why are you all standing here? Fucking find out where he is!” He barks at the men and I watch as they scurry away like scared little mice at his order. If Alexander were here he would have laughed at them. “Stay with the girl.” Peter says as he points at me. Greg nods, taking a chair beside me that I hadn't even noticed was there.
I’m finally able to look at my surroundings, it’s difficult to focus on any one thing because my eyes feel like they need to move as soon as they land on something and it feels like my brain can’t process anything quickly enough. Grey ceiling. Big room. An airplane. Why would there be an airplane inside of a building? Think Ally. Grey walls and ceiling. A couple of windows. Tin all around us, we’re in a tin building and it echoes. Why is there an airplane?
A hangar, we’re in a hangar!
Damn. I’m so excited that I figured it out until I realize that it doesn’t really help me in my current situation. I think I’m on a table of some sort, its hard surface doesn't allow for any comfort whatsoever not that I could find any comfort while my arms and legs are tied anyway. My eyes finally fall back to Greg. Asshole.
“He’s going to kill you.” My voice comes out raspy and muted but I know he’s heard me because his jaw flexes with my words and his eyes swing to mine.
“You think so?” He smirks but it comes out as more of a grimace, his team’s earlier failure getting to him.
“I know it.” He doesn’t say another word as he stands from the chair, walking toward me as he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a syringe. He stabs me in the arm and a few seconds later my eyes grow even heavier I watch as he leans over me, his lips so close to mine that it makes me feel sick...
“Then maybe I should just fuck you now.” My eyes want to close so badly but I manage a chuckle, laughing at the image that pops into my mind of Alexander finding him.
“It’s up to you, I guess, it’s not like I could stop you.” I actually giggle, feeling bravely stupid. “With the drugs that you just gave me I really don’t think I would feel anything… but I promise you that he will find you, and he will make you feel everything.” I laugh as I watch him step away from me and sit himself back in the chair. I continue to laugh until I can no longer keep my eyes open, even still I fall unconscious with a smile on my face.