Random Encounter by Allyson Lindt

Nineteen

Phillip

I’d relegated this weekend’s soar and crash to the back of my mind, and used it as a reminder that I was distancing myself from the people I worked with.

Which was why it was probably a bad idea to agree to meet at Dustin’s house tonight. The answer slipped out, though, and it felt rude to take it back.

I arrived at his place the same time as Adrienne, and we knocked together. Usually I’d expect a shout from somewhere in the house of door’s open, come on in, but Dustin had different rules when his nieces were staying with him, so today he answered the door.

The instant we walked inside, Harmony attached herself to my legs in a tight hug. “Hi Phillip.” She stepped back and eyed Adrienne. “Who are you?”

“This is my new co-worker, Addie,” Dustin said.

She crouched to eye-level. “I’m Adrienne. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Harmony.” The girl shook her hand enthusiastically. “Do you want to color with me?”

And that meant Adrienne had been accepted by both girls. Why did that hit me hard with ambivalence? This wasn’t my family.

“Give us a few minutes.” Dustin’s voice was kind.

Adrienne looked Harmony in the eye. “I’ll come find you soon, and then we’ll color. I promise.”

“Okay. Bye.” Harmony headed to the living room.

I’d met both girls several times. When Dustin and I were at Rinslet, he’d bring them to family days, which he planned to include things like face painting, bouncy houses, and other activities his nieces enjoyed.

Aces didn’t have family events, but Dustin watched the girls on a regular basis so I’d seen them grow up. He adored them and treated them like I assume he would his own kids. The way I would my daughter if she were still here. Would she be friends with Alana?

The memory and question hit me hard and I shook both aside.

“Harmony is enthusiastic and friendly. I should’ve warned you.” Dustin didn’t sound at all apologetic.

Adrienne shook her head with a smile. “So she takes after you? I don’t mind.”

Though I stood right next to them, I felt like I was watching this entire thing from the outside. Like a glass wall divided me from the rest of the room. Was it because this could be the last time I did this?

“Hi, Phillip.” Alana’s soft, shy greeting jarred me from the odd thought. I’d seen the behavior in the office too. “Do you want to help me make salad for dinner?”

I was keeping my distance from the crush. Awkward. Wrong. Unappealing. No matter how good a kid she was. “I’m going to help Dustin with the grill. Make sure he doesn’t screw anything up.”

“I need that kind of supervision,” Dustin said with a grin.

Adrienne gestured toward the living room. “You can help Harmony and me color.”

Alana rolled her eyes.

“If you promise to do it when no one’s looking, you can raid my purse for emergency chocolate,” Adrienne said.

Alana huffed, but eyed Adrienne’s purse. “Chocolate will make me fat.”

Adrienne shouldered her purse.

Alana reached for the bag. “But I’m young and can do extra laps to burn it off. I should help you with that.”

“Come color with us.” Adrienne led Alana in the same direction Harmony had gone.

Dustin was chuckling while he tugged me outside.

“Chocolate bribes?” I asked as we stopped near the grill. “If you’re not careful, she’ll take your place.” Or mine. The thought hit me hard and soured inside.

Dustin waved a dismissive hand. “I’m not worried. Neither of those girls is above taking chocolate from two people instead of one. Besides, I give better piggyback rides.”

“You’ve got your bases covered.” I laughed to smother the out-of-place feeling inside. But it was better than sinking into my other impulse. If I wasn’t careful, I’d start to feel comfortable here—playing house—and I didn’t want that.

Dustin lay the meat on the grill, then sighed. “I have no idea what Addie likes.”

A pair of nice, thick sausages. It didn’t feel right to make the joke without her here, and at the same time it felt wrong to say it with the girls in the house. The fuck was wrong with me? “I’ll go ask her.”

I found Adrienne exactly where I expected, kneeling at the coffee table in the living room with the girls, paper and colored pencils spread out in front of them.

“We’re drawing pictures.” Harmony didn’t look up for her work.

“I see that. Adrienne, Dustin wants to know what kind of meat you want,” I said.

She raised her brows as she looked at me, and the corners of her mouth tugged up.

Yeah, that sounded pretty bad in a certain context.

Alana huffed. “Gross.”

Harmony swapped one pencil for another. “Alana’s a vegetarian.”

And I was going to hope that was why she didn’t like my question.

Alana hopped to her feet and skipped to me. “Adrienne drew me. What do you think?”

It was a chibi version of Alana, and it was appropriately adorable. I wasn’t going to use any language that could be misconstrued. “I think Adrienne is a very talented artist, and we’re lucky she works with us anyway.”

Pink spread across Adrienne’s cheeks. Stunning.

“I drew my own pictures.” Harmony ran up to me as well. “This one’s for you.”

“Thank you.” I took the drawing. It was two men, one with dark hair, and a thinner one with yellow hair. It wasn’t Rembrandt, but considering she was five… “It’s fantastic. Tell me about it.”

“It’s you and Uncle Dustin getting married.”

I swallowed my cough, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Adrienne’s smile twitch back.

“You’re stupid.” Alana huffed and crossed her arms.

“I’m not stupid, you’re stupid,” Harmony screamed.

Moment ruined. Thank God. “Who has homework?”

“I did mine at the office.” Alana sounded smug.

“I don’t get homework,” Harmony said.

I needed a different distraction for them. “Help me get plates and cups ready, while Adrienne tells Dustin what she wants to eat.” I took Harmony’s hand, and failed to ignore the surge of pain that came with a tiny person holding onto me.

When Harmony and I reached the kitchen, I set her picture on the counter so we could work.

“No.” She climbed on a barstool, and folded the image into a mostly-neat rectangle. “Come here.” I moved closer, and she stuffed the picture into my shirt pocket. “Hang it in your office,” she said.

“I will. I promise.” I patted the drawing.

Dinner was served without further tantrums or screaming. It felt odd sitting around the table like a family. I wanted it to be disconcerting and it was comfortable instead. The conversation strayed from Alana and her swimming to Harmony’s birthday party and how she was going to rent a castle.

“Your mom said no castles until you’re older,” Dustin said.

Harmony scowled. “Like, seven?”

“Like, thirty.” Dustin’s tone was kind but firm.

Alana made a face. “That’s old. Gross.”

I’d never been so relieved to be called old and gross in my life—even indirectly.

Dustin stared at her. “You know how old we are, don’t you?”

“That’s different. You were already old.” Alana’s logic was hard to argue with.

When dinner was over, the girls were good about cleaning up. Alana rinsed the plates, Harmony put them in the dishwasher, and Dustin started it.

“Who wants to watch Spirited Away?” he asked.

Both girls cheered.

I should be excusing myself, not getting sucked into whatever this was. Instead, I headed back to the living room with everyone else, and cooperated as Alana sat me on the couch, and placed Adrienne between Dustin and me, before she made herself comfortable on the floor.

The girls fell asleep before the movie was over. Dustin carried Harmony to room he had for them in the basement, and Adrienne escorted a barely-awake Alana.

Dustin and Adrienne returned.

“It’s getting late. I should get going,” I said, like I should have hours ago.

Adrienne frowned. “Yeah.” She didn’t sound as certain. “Home. Right.”

The way she rubbed her fingers together and clenched and unclenched her fist said anxious more than it did reluctant. She’d looked tired this morning, too. “Did Cole stop by last night?” I asked.

She nodded. “He got everything installed.”

“Everything what?” Dustin sounded curious.

“Someone called him and said I was having ex problems.”

I definitely had. “You are.”

“I am.” Her smile was strained. “And I appreciate it. Cole put in better locks, a doorbell cam, and a way to place emergency calls with a button push. But I’m still on edge.” Her voice grew quiet with the final words.

Come back to my place, the offer fought to force its way from my throat. That was a bad idea for so many reasons I refused to name.

“I need to get used to it,” Adrienne said. “He’s not going to force me out of my place, I just need a little time.”

“Are you sure?” Dustin asked.

You can stay with me. Damn it, what was wrong with me? “I’ll follow you home and make sure you get inside okay.”

Some of her tension seemed to drain away. “I hate to impose, but yes, please and thank you.”

“Hey.” Dustin grabbed Adrienne’s fingers and tugged. “Stay safe. Call us if you need. Anytime.”

Her smile grew. “Thanks. See you at work tomorrow.”

I drove home behind her, and parked near her in her apartment lot. There was no sign of her ex-husband or his car, but I walked her to her front door anyway. She hesitated before stepping inside.

I was torn between you’ll be okay and no, really, come back to my place.

“Thank you again.” Adrienne’s soft voice pushed me toward the latter option. “Night.” She stepped inside and closed the door between us.

Good.

I let out a long sigh as I walked back to my car. Tonight was normal and still fun. It would be easy to get addicted to that again.

But it hurt badly to lose it the first time. Even years later, an ache still sat in my heart. An empty hole where my past had lived. The odds of the same thing happening to me again—my loved ones being torn away by death—was slim, but there were a lot of ways to lose people.

Dustin and Adrienne were co-workers, not family, and they’d be less soon.

Exactly the way it should be, to keep the chasm in my soul from being torn open wider.