Always Been You by Lily Miller
One
Olivia
This can’t be happening!What is she doing here and where can I hide? And no, I’m not kidding. I quickly scan the room. My heart drops straight to my feet and I swear I’ve stopped breathing. Behind the desk? Under our antique wooden worktable? Maybe I could just slip behind my best friend Ellie, who is working beside me. Desperate times call for desperate measures - and right now I’m definitely desperate. Shit! It’s too late.
“Olivia, honey! Look at you. It has been way too long.”
Grace Bennett has just walked through the doors of my Reed Point flower shop and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost all ability to form a simple sentence.
“So, this is Bloom. It’s amazing.” Mrs. Bennett steps further into the store with a starry-eyed look on her face. Her heels clatter on the wood floor beneath her.
I somehow manage a smile as I take her in. She looks as beautiful and put together as I remember in her tailored navy blazer with round gold buttons, perfectly paired pants, a crisp white blouse and Prada kitten heels. Her rich brown hair is neatly styled in a bob at her shoulders and there’s a warmth in her eyes that makes you want to love her. She is a rarity in Reed Point- her priorities have always been her family and their happiness, and not material things like some woman in this city. Since Reed Point has become the new, albeit smaller Hamptons, big money is everywhere, and some just love to flaunt it. Insert eyeroll.
“These arrangements are all absolutely stunning and I love what you have done with the space. I am so proud of what you have accomplished.”
“Thank you.” I inhale deeply, trying to calm myself.
I shakily look around the small room, seeing it through Mrs. Bennett’s eyes. Ellie and I started Bloom three years ago. My dream of being a small business owner, now a reality.
Ellie is my lifelong best friend and now business partner, and I should add superhero to that list of titles, because she is thankfully coming to my rescue. Noticing my state of shock, Ellie has dropped the bunch of eucalyptus stems she’d been shearing and stepped out from behind the desk to save me. She takes over the conversation with Mrs. Bennett and I take advantage of the opportunity to remember how to breathe again.
“What brings you into our store, Mrs. Bennett? My name is Ellie, I co-own Bloom with Olivia. You might remember me from high school? I was in the same grade as Parker,” Ellie says, shooting me the side eye and nudging my shoulder, snapping me out of my temporary brain freeze.
Geez, Olivia, get it together.
“I do remember you, Ellie. It’s so nice to see you again.” She adjusts her purse on her shoulder while I continue to suffer from heart palpitations.
“Well, girls, it’s my 40th wedding anniversary and you know how we like to celebrate! We are having our closest friends and family over to the house for drinks and a catered dinner and I am in need of floral centerpieces - I couldn’t think of anyone better for the job than you two! Do you think you can do it?”
She can’t be serious. Step foot inside the Bennetts’ house again? It’s not happening. Has she forgotten everything that happened between her son and me?
There is no way I will risk seeing Parker again when just the sight of his mother standing in front of me is enough to twist this giant knot in my stomach. She reminds me far too much of him, with her dark hair and dark eyes and striking features. Those eyes… man, Parker’s eyes. Olivia, stop it.
“We’d love to!” Ellie practically sings, snapping me out of my fog. She is rubbing her hands together like she just won a prize at the Reed Point fair. Which we all know is impossible. Those stupid games are always rigged.
I glare at her.
“Really?” Mrs. Bennett’s eyes go wide, looking directly at me for my approval.
“Of course!” Ellie nearly screeches back in excitement.
What the actual EFF Ellie, are you doing? Has she lost her mind? It’s the only possible explanation because otherwise my best friend is clearly a traitor! I am seeing red! If eyes could kill, Ellie would drop dead on our perfectly swept floor. I’m ready to bury her body.
I have never been able to hide my emotions, always wearing my heart on my sleeve. Mrs. Bennett can surely see my hesitation written all over my face. She takes my hand and says sweetly, “The entire family would be thrilled to see you and I would be honored if you would do this for me.”
Well, I can think of one family member who wouldn’t be happy to see me, but I can’t say no to her. Mrs. Bennett has been nothing but thoughtful and compassionate towards me, she is one of the kindest women I’ve ever met. I may have spent the past eight years trying to erase her son from my mind, but I can still remember all of those happy times I spent in her family’s home. And now, with her standing right in front of me, every memory Parker Bennett and I ever made is rushing back, flooding my mind.
There is no way out of this mess. I’m flustered and anxious but manage to respond, “Thank you, Mrs. Bennett.” I somehow remember how to speak again. “How could we ever say no to you?”
What did I just do?! I want to bury my body alongside Ellie’s.
“Perfect!” exclaims Mrs. Bennett, grabbing my hand. All of my friends have been raving about you and your elegant arrangements. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”
It is no surprise to me that her friends are “raving” about Bloom. Reed Point is small enough that everyone seems to know everyone else’s business - and my business is not exempt.
I’ve gotten used to people talking about me and my family over the years. Unfortunately, we have given them a lot to talk about. We have made it through some very hard times, but not without heartbreak, not without my world crashing into pieces thanks to my father. I haven’t seen or spoken much to him since then, but that will all be changing soon.
That was then, and this is now. With time, the pieces of my life have been put back together like a puzzle and these days life is good. I only hope it will stay that way.
“Do you have a color palette you would like to stick to, or certain flowers in mind?” Ellie asks, once again rescuing me from my own head and my bad manners.
“Pink, white and green would be wonderful. Peonies and hydrangeas are my favorite. Let me see here.” She circles the store, and my pounding heart seems to echo the sound of her heels against the floor. “Something this size and in a vase like this one,” she says pointing to a medium size clear glass vase bursting with cut flowers we had just created this morning.
“They will be beautiful. Ellie and I will make sure of it,” I answer, as confidently as possible. ‘Fake it till you make it’ is apparently my new motto.
“It was lovely to see you again Olivia. You as well, Ellie. I will be in touch.” I suddenly want to hug her, but I realize that would be crazy and completely awkward, so instead I reach out to shake her hand. She returns the gesture with a soft squeeze, her warm eyes meeting mine.
I watch her walk out of our store after graciously thanking us over and over again and securing her date with her Amex black card. Finally, able to breathe again, I whip around to go full fight club on Ellie.
“Jesus Ells! What were you thinking? You know I can’t do this!” I move towards her, my hands planted tightly at my waist.
“Oh please, Liv, it was eight years ago and you’ve both begun new lives. You need to move on. You were eighteen! And besides, it might actually be good for you to see Parker again.” Ellie finishes the transaction on the computer and returns to the large wooden worktable.
“Put the past where it belongs, make amends so you can really move on. So you can open yourself up again to love. You deserve love, Olivia. You deserve a man in your life who puts you first and gives you the feels. All the feels, Liv.”
I roll my eyes. How the hell would she know? Neither of us are exactly experts when it comes to love. We’re both in our late twenties and have yet to find “the one.” Parker Bennett was the closest thing to it, and that ended a very long time ago. My chest tightens. Thinking about Parker inflicts this kind of reaction on my heart.
“And besides, do you know what this type of event will do for our business? It’s the Bennetts. It’s their Seaside Hotel chain... the publicity alone will take us next level.”
I know she’s right. The Seaside Hotel chain is listed as the place to be in almost every popular publication on the east coast. Influencers post pictures daily to their social media pages from the hotel lobbies, their rooftop pools and their luxe lobby bars. The Bennetts have been opening new boutique hotels yearly and show no signs of slowing down. Their properties are upscale and modern with luxury amenities like extensive pillow menus, custom toiletries and swanky lounges. The place to be seen, or so I’ve been told. Stepping foot into a Seaside Hotel means running the risk of seeing Parker. That’s why I stay away.
“Olivia, there is no guarantee he will even be at the party.”
I stare at her, my eyebrow raised. “Ellie, are you huffing something? Do you really think he would miss his parents’ anniversary party?”
“Nope, you’re right! He will definitely be there.” Ellie grins and throws her hands in the air. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”
Parker rarely comes home to visit since he moved to New York, but there’s not a chance he would miss a family celebration. The Bennetts are close. They always have been. It had always amazed me, the way he got along with his two brothers and sister. As kids they actually loved spending time together. They always had each other’s backs no matter what.
It’s not the family dynamic I grew up with. My younger sister Kate and I weren’t exactly tight back then, but that changed in our twenties. We needed each other to make it through the pain and embarrassment caused by our Dad. Now we are inseparable; along with Ellie, we are a three-pack. It feels good to know that I always have my two best friends to count on to bring me a bottle of my very favorite rosé when I have a bad day. After this particular bad day, though, I’m not sure one bottle will cut it.
“Ells, I’m not doing it. This is on you. You got us into this mess, and you will get us out. This is not up for negotiation.”
“You are being ridiculous, Olivia.”
“I don’t care, Ellie!” I exclaim with a huff.
“Fine, Olivia. I’ll take this one for the team. I’ll do the delivery and setup alone at the estate and save you the horror of running into Parker Bennett,” she states dramatically, her right hand to her forehead.
I can’t help but smile. That is Ellie. She speaks her mind no matter what, never sugar-coats a thing. She also has the mouth of a trucker and just loves making me cringe with embarrassment with the innuendo that flies from her mouth. My brunette, five-foot-two bestie since middle school has stuck by me through it all - even when my family lost everything, when it would have been much easier to walk away. She is best friend goals and, apart from Kate, is the only person in my life to know what losing Parker did to me.
It is because she is the greatest friend a girl could ask for that I will not murder her and hide her body. Joking, but I would belying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind for a second time today.
Ellie knows that taking on the Bennetts’ anniversary party could be a huge win for our small business, and I can’t fault her for that. I’ll find a way to wipe Parker Bennett from my mind. I’ve done it once, I’m sure I can do it again.
* * *
It’s a beautiful,sunny Friday morning and Ellie and I are busy with the Bennett order for tomorrow. Since Mrs. Bennett walked through the doors of Bloom three weeks ago, my world feels like it has been turned upside down. I am flooded with memories of the two perfect years I spent with Parker, before it all ended. I am also in dire need of a manicure after biting my nails right down to the cuticles. I know it’s not a good look, but it’s how I’ve always dealt with stress. That and a good five-mile run.
The only silver lining to this situation is that my part in the Bennett order ends here. Thank God. I still can’t believe I said yes to this job; I must be a sucker for punishment. There is no way I will be stepping foot in their estate, though. That is all on Ellie this time, the deal we made still standing.
“Everything okay, Olivia?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” I roll my eyes, jabbing a peony into the wet floral foam at the bottom of vase.
“You just seem a little… edgy.”
“The flowers have to be perfect, Ellie.” I anxiously adjust three pale pink peonies and hold my breath. “This is a big deal.”
“Olivia, you need to chill!” Ellie lectures me, adjusting the messy top knot that is secured with one of her signature scrunchies on the top of her head.
Since we started working together Ellie has grown accustomed to talking me off the ledge. She isn’t rattled easily, where I can be a roller coaster of emotions.
It has always been a dream of mine to open and run my own business - a business that I would build from the ground up through blood, sweat and tears. I knew that I never wanted to depend on anyone in life, that I needed to be able to stand on my own two feet. It was a lesson I have learned the hard way.
When the space for the flower shop became available for lease, it only made sense to include Ellie because we did everything together anyways. We were sophomores in high school when we met and have been inseparable ever since. Having Ellie as a partner helped financially too, to get the business up and off the ground.
“You’re not helping, Ellie. You of all people should know where I’m coming from.” I tuck a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and narrow my eyes in her direction.
Ellie suddenly drops what she’s doing, her eyes meeting mine. “Can we talk about what’s really going on?”
“No,” I answer defensively, hoping she’ll accept my one-word answer.
“I think you might feel better if you get it out.”
“I think I’ll feel better when the coffee shop on the corner stops charging five dollars for a cookie. I can practically buy an entire box for almost half that price.”
“Don’t change the subject. I know what you’re doing.” Ellie rounds the table and brings me in for a hug. “You are going to be fine. You just need a few days to get over the shock of seeing his mom.”
“I am fine, Ells,” Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and try to be fine. I can do this.
I pull back from Ellie’s embrace. Her head is cocked to the side. She sees right through me. I’m not surprised.
“Okay Liv, if you say so.” She shrugs, walking past me to fetch another vase. She’s dropping the subject and I’m grateful.
I fiddle with the chartreuse hydrangeas and try to concentrate on the task at hand. Twenty-four pink, white and green floral arrangements for the Bennett party tomorrow. I have to admit, they are perfection. I really am proud of what we’ve created. There is no way I am going to disappoint Grace Bennett. I have put my all into her order but coming face-to-face with her son… nope, that isn’t going to happen. Ellie will be driving the Bloom van to the Bennett estate tomorrow and will be placing the arrangements exactly where they need to go all by herself. I, on the other hand, will be sleeping in and enjoying the day to myself. Bennett-free.
We lock up for the day, hugging goodbye, and I wish Ellie good luck for tomorrow. Needing to clear my mind, I make my way down First Street towards the boardwalk that runs along the beach.
The laid-back beach vibe of the oceanfront streets paired with charming historical architecture set Reed Point apart from your average beach town. When I was a kid it was much quieter, but in the last decade it has grown into one of the more popular cities to visit on the east coast. At this time of year, the beginning of summer, the sycamore tree lined streets are buzzing with shoppers. On any other day I’d be one of them, window shopping the high-end boutiques and browsing the influx of pop-up shops that cater to the demand of tourists. Today though, my thoughts are too wrapped up in Parker.
How can he affect me like this after so many years? I have dated plenty of guys since our breakup, but no one has ever compared to him. I have never come close to feeling that spark like I did with Parker. With Parker, it was like gasoline to a flame. It was fire.
I make my way to the ocean and slip off my sandals. The feeling of my feet in the warm sand and the salty smell of the ocean is just what I need to clear my mind. I sit on the beach with my knees bent towards the sky and watch as the waves roll within inches of my bare feet.
My breathing slows and I feel a calm wash over me. My long golden blonde hair breezes across my face in the wind. I feel like myself again. It has always been my form of therapy to sit on the beach and listen to the waves. And it doesn’t cost a penny. I have been coming here since I was a kid. My mother used to always say I was happy anytime I could see the ocean. She was right. It sets my soul free.
My life is good. I am right where I want to be. I own a cozy apartment that I’m proud to call my own. I own a successful business that turns a good profit. I spend my days at Bloom, working a job I love with my best friend by my side and I am doing it all on my own. I don’t need a man to complicate things or mess with my heart. I have everything I need to be happy. Don’t I?
But if I am totally honest with myself, I do miss having someone special in my life. Someone to come home to at the end of the day.
By the time I get back to my apartment, I feel much more relaxed. After a quick dinner and hot shower, I am tucked cozily into my queen size bed with a glass of rosé in one hand and a romance novel in the other. The perfect Friday night.
I drift to sleep thinking about how I will spend my day off tomorrow - they don’t come along often. A morning run, a stop at my favorite bakery for a caramel apple croissant and maybe a lunch date with Kate. It’s the beginning of summer- my favorite time of year - and the forecast for tomorrow is sun. I plan on making the most of it.