Always Been You by Lily Miller
Three
Olivia
It isthe day of the Bennett anniversary party, and my life is imploding.
When I answered the call from Ellie this morning, I knew right away that it wasn’t going to be good.
She could barely make it through our phone call without heaving. She’s sick- food poisoning sick - and there is no way she is leaving her bathroom today, never mind her apartment.
And you know what that means? That means the party is all on me. Shit just got real, and I feel an instant panic attack rising. I feel terrible that Ellie is sick, but this is the absolute worst timing!
“I’m so sorry this had to happen on the one day I promised I would be there for you,” Elle had groaned. “Olivia, I know you must be losing your mind right now. But you’ve got this babe. You can do this. Just get in and get out. I bet you won’t even see him.”
Promising to call her later with an update, I press end on the phone call and scream into my pillow. There is no freaking way I am going to be fine today. How am I going to do this?
I jump out of bed and head for the shower. So much for my relaxing Saturday.
I shower quickly, then blow-dry my hair. I put on mascara, a smidge of blush and a pale pink lip gloss. My phone sounds, letting me know I have a text message.
ELLIE: I’m really sorry again Liv, I feel awful that I can’t be there for you today. You can do this. You will be fine, I promise. And Liv, if he is there... remember it was a long time ago and a lot has changed. You are strong and you are brave. Remember how far you have come. xo
ME: Thanks Ells. You better have a bottle of wine ready for me just in case. Wish me luck xx
I slip on a pair of my nicest skinny jeans and a fitted ice blue sweater and run my hands through the long waves of my hair. I want to look my best. I am representing Bloom, after all. At least that’s what I tell myself.
A hundred different versions of what could happen after stepping foot in the Bennett home race through my mind.
Best case scenario: I don’t see Parker. The arrangements are all the party guests can talk about, and Bloom is later hired to do the flowers for all future seasons of The Bachelor.
Worst case scenario: I do see Parker. I panic, trip over a stray balloon string and land face-first in the Bennetts’ anniversary cake.
There are about a hundred other scenarios that fall somewhere in the middle.
Will I see Mr. and Mrs. Bennett, or even Miles, Jules or Liam? Oh my God, will I see Parker? The thought of it sends me spinning. Ellie’s not the only one feeling nauseous right about now.
I had run into them all over the years - minus Parker, of course. It never felt totally awkward, we would say the normal things that people say to each other, talk about the weather and such. Thenwe’d move on. They treated me with kindness every time, that’s just the way they are.
I make myself a quick cup of coffee and a bagel while I contemplate changing my outfit. Maybe a dress with my leather jacket and heels. But heels make me nervous. I could just imagine myself taking a dive in them across their hardwood floors while carrying a centerpiece. That would just be my luck.
I check my reflection in the mirror one last time, and am happy with the way I look. I grab my purse and keys, taking a deep steadying breath before I head for the door. I won’t let fear hold me back. I have come too far since then.
I drive straight to Bloom, letting the scenery distract me. It is one of my favorite times of year here in Reed Point with the azaleas and rhododendrons indicating the onset of summer. Restaurant patios are bustling and the city feels like it is coming alive after a long, cold winter slumber.
The weather is perfect today for the Bennetts as if they ordered it themselves. I smile, feeling the warmth of the sun on my face through the open window. They deserve a beautiful day to celebrate their milestone.
I park my white Prius in front of Bloom and hop out to a familiar face.
“Hey Jace, morning! What are you up to today?” Jace is a friend I met in college. We both studied business together - Jace going on to work for a local marketing firm here in Reed Point. Kate and Ellie have always tried to push us together but despite the fact that he is handsome and smart, we have never gone further than some harmless flirting.
“Hey beautiful, it’s good to see you,” he says through a smile, pulling me into a warm hug. “Are you heading into the shop today?”
“I am, but I’m not staying. I’m here to load up the van for an event.”
“Is it just you today? Where’s Ellie?”
“Ellie was supposed to be here, but she has come down with a case of Montezuma’s revenge. It’s pretty gross!”
“Well, why don’t I help you load up the van? I don’t mind. I have nowhere to be until later this afternoon.”
“You know what, I’ll take you up on that offer. Besides it will be nice to catch up with you.” Jace follows me in and we head to the large coolers in the back of the shop, stopping to say hi to Leah, who works for us part time and when we have big events.
“These are beautiful, Olivia,” Jace picks up the first arrangement and follows me out back to the van. “What’s today’s event?”
“It’s the Bennetts’ 40th anniversary party at their estate.”
“Whoah, whoah back it up… are you talking about who I think you’re talking about? The infamous ex?”
“Stop it, Jace. That is not what I need right now. A little less talking and a little more work from you would be great.”
“Oh, I see I hit a nerve.” He chuckles as we make our way back to the van with another armful of flowers.
“Ughh, you are impossible. Let’s talk about you. What’s the latest?” I ask, trying my best to steer the conversation in a new direction.
“Oh, you know, living the dream. Work is busy, love life is not. I’m back on the market, Olivia, now’s your chance.” He smirks and wraps his arm around my shoulder as we head back for the last two centerpieces.
“I’ll keep that in mind, Jace.” I laugh and push him away playfully. “What happened to Alexa? I thought things were going good between the two of you. I liked her, Jace. She was good for you.”
“She wasn’t the one, so I figured I shouldn’t drag it out any longer. It wasn’t fair to either of us, so I broke it off. I think she knew as well that we weren’t each other’s ‘person.’ She took it pretty well.”
“I get that. And for what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing. Now we need to find you a new girl.” They don’t come better than Jace and I often wondered why I never felt anything other than friendship towards him. He’s smart, driven and handsome but I’ve just never felt that spark with him. “Thanks again for the help. I really appreciate it.”
I walk Jace to the front door and give him a hug, then call goodbye to Leah before heading out to the delivery van. I take one last look in the small mirror in my visor and pull the van from its parking spot.
My heart is pounding as I turn into the Bennett property twenty minutes later. It feels like a lifetime ago that I last drove this boulevard, still lined with tall emerald green hedges. The iron gates are open, leading me down the crushed stone driveway. I remembered the feeling I used to get walking toward those large wooden doors with Parker after school most days.
A long time ago, this place was peace for me. It was warmth. It was the security I needed to feel when my home life was chaos. The Bennett house and the people within it would envelop me with love and comfort. Parker brought me here each day to give me that reprieve. He knew just what I needed.
Some days were spent swimming in the pool and others were spent on the large down feather sectional watching movies while his mother spoiled us with her baked treats.
Some days we would sneak away to the guest house that was nestled towards the back of the property. We couldn’t keep our hands off of each other. We were magnetic.
Like a moth to a flame.
I can’t ever get enough of you, he would say as he rained kisses all over me. I fell hard in his arms and only he could catch me.
He was my first in more ways than one and I have searched for that desire, that need, ever since. Searched, but never found it.
I nervously walk up the stairs to the front door, feeling my heart pound in my chest. I ring the doorbell and wait, anxiously fiddling with the hem of my sweater when the door suddenly opens to Mrs. Bennett. Happiness and warmth radiate back at me.
“Olivia, doll. Thank you for coming. I am so happy to see you.” She pulls me into her slender arms, wrapping me in a hug.
I can tell she is doing what she can to put my racing pulse at ease. “Come with me. I’ll show you where the arrangements should go. Cocktails and dinner will be served outside.”
She leads me through the open grand foyer to the back of the house, through the kitchen and the great room. It is as beautiful as I remembered. The accordion windows are pulled open, allowing a perfect view of the meticulously set long tables by the pool. They are draped in white linen tablecloths with rows of candles of different heights. I can imagine how pretty their glow will be at night under the dark sky. There are tall heaters spaced around the tables to keep guests warm and the grounds and flower beds appear to have been freshly manicured. There are caterers, bartenders and others milling around.
“Everything looks so beautiful. Your guests are going to love it.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.” She beams.
Mrs. Bennett gives me instructions on where to place each centerpiece. “You are welcome to stay and join us Olivia,” she tells me. “You know you have always been welcome in our home. And Ellie too, of course. Is she on her way?”
“Oh, that is too kind Mrs. Bennett,” I stumble through my words. “But I won’t be able to stay. Poor Ellie is sick at home and I should get back to her, and bring her some soup and Gatorade. I’ll just get to work and then get out of your hair,” I answer, itching to get my job done and then sneak out and put an end to this.
It is three o’clock and if I time it right, I can finish up here, drop off a care package at Ellie’s and still make it back home in time for a Housewives marathon. What can I say, I am a sucker for trashy TV.
“That poor girl. I hope she feels better soon. And Olivia, I want to thank you again for agreeing to do this. It’s so good to see you again. I hope life has been as good to you as you deserve.” She smiles warmly, placing both hands on my arms, squeezing gently. For a second it feels like no time has passed.
Caught up in my thoughts, I nod with a smile that I hope doesn’t look forced and then return to the van. I inhale a deep breath and begin removing the arrangements and placing them where I was instructed to, entering the home each time with a tremble in my hands and my heart at my feet.
I am just placing an arrangement on the bar when I hear my name. My spine straightens and I turn to face him.
“Olivia, are you responsible for my home smelling like fresh flowers? It is so good to see you.”
“It’s nice to see you too, Mr. Bennett. Happy anniversary,” I stammer, my anxiety reaching its peak.
The genuine warmth in his greeting helps to calm my nerves. I smile, remembering how kind he has always been to me. He’s dressed in his suit pants with a pressed white dress shirt, likely leaving his tie and blazer until the last possible minute.
“The flowers look beautiful, Olivia. My wife tells me what a great job you have done with your business. I am proud of you. Clearly you have an eye for it.”
“Thank you so much,” I reply, with a soft smile.
We are interrupted by Mrs. Bennett calling him into the kitchen. “Thank you again,” he says as he turns towards the house. “I will have to pop by and see you for Grace’s birthday.”
“That would be nice. It was good to see you.”
I struggle to keep my emotions in check. Mr. Bennett is a picture of contentment. I’m reminded why I was always so fond of him.
I make my way back to the van. Seeing the Bennetts again, and being back in this place where I once felt so at home- it’s overwhelming. I grab the last couple of arrangements, relieved that the job is almost done. I place one on the kitchen island and the final one on the round marble table in the center of the foyer. I adjust one of the peonies and take a step back to admire our work. I pull my phone from my pocket, hoping to take a quick snap to send to Ellie, but it falls from my shaking hands to the floor. As I bend down to pick it up, I feel the energy in the room shift.
He’s here.
I can feel it.
I have nowhere to hide.
I am afraid to look up. I swallow hard, feeling as though all the air is suddenly sucked from the room. Slowly, I stand up. His eyes meet mine. They lock together. There is no turning away. I feel heat rising up my neck. It’s him. Parker.
He moves towards me, closing the distance between us. His dark, moody eyes on mine.
“Livy, what are you doing here?” I’ve always loved the way he calls me Livy, like it was reserved for just him.
“I… um... your mom hired me to do the flowers for her party. I, …”
“Oh, that’s right, I heard you opened your own business. I’m really happy for you.” I chew on my bottom lip, wondering how he knows.
“Thank you,” I reply, in barely a whisper. “But... I better be going.” Damn, this is awkward. I need to get out of here.
He is wearing jeans and a grey Henley, and his thick dark hair is still wet from a shower. His strong angular jaw covered in stubble is the first sign I notice that he is no longer a boy. His sleeves are pushed up on his forearms revealing his toned, tanned arms and his shirt is pulled tight across his chest showing his athletic body. And those eyes. His deep brown eyes, the color of hot cocoa, sear right through me. They would trap me and never let me go if I let them. I need to go before I do something I will regret.
“Wait, Livy.” Parker clears his throat and edges forward, reaching for my arm. His hand on my skin. An instant jolt of electricity passes through me at his touch, reminding me of our chemistry. “Can we talk? I’m here for the weekend. Can I see you tomorrow?”
“Parker, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I pull away, trying to keep space between us. I immediately miss the warmth of his touch. He smells like fresh rain and cedar and it’s intoxicating. Dangerous.
“Just lunch, or coffee. I’m not asking for anything more.” His mouth tips up into a gentle smile. That smile that makes me forget right from wrong.
“I’m sorry, Parker. It was nice to see you, but I really have to go.” Not giving him another chance to change my mind, I turn towards the door.
“Please consider it, Livy. Meet me tomorrow. I want to see you again.” The words slam into me. Every part of me wants to say yes, but I know I could never survive getting hurt again.
I pause at the door feeling that pull of energy to him. An energy I’ve only ever felt with Parker. It’s undeniable. Why am I still here? I need to go.
I turn to him. His eyes penetrating. My lips part to answer him when we are suddenly interrupted.
“Parker, where are you?” My focus shifts to Miles at the top of the stairs calling for his brother. It shakes me back to reality.
Parker turns his glance to his brother, and, in a panic, I slip out the door.