Always Been You by Lily Miller

Five

Parker

I am sittingwith my family at one of the long rectangular tables by the pool, the quiet hum of conversation occasionally broken by a peal of laughter or the clinking of glasses. We have finished dinner and are on to dessert.

The sky has darkened but the backyard is glowing under the mini lights wrapping the trees, the tall space heaters keeping guests warm. Candles surround the flowers running the length of the table. Seeing the flowers make my thoughts drift back to Livy. I’m trying to be present, to enjoy the evening, but the truth is I can’t get her out of my mind.

Sitting across from me, my father’s arm is draped behind my mother’s back. They look so happy. It’s enviable.

“Parker, let’s get a drink,” Hunter says from behind me, clutching my shoulder. Hunter and I have been close friends since our days playing soccer and football together in junior high. Back when we were teenagers, he was pretty much a fixture in our house, practically a part of the family.

I rise from my seat and follow Hunter to the bar where we find Jules ordering herself a glass of Riesling. I order us each a scotch on the rocks and hand one tumbler to Hunter.

“Hey Jules, drinks are on me tonight. Order whatever you like.” Hunter jokes as we stand together at the open bar.

“Seriously Hunter, no wonder you are single with lines like that.” Jules rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her drink.

Hunter laughs it off. He has known my sister for years and their banter is like a well-rehearsed routine. Jules knows that every now and then Hunter needs to be put in his place and she has no problem being the one to do it.

“So, Parks have you heard any word on the Cape May project?” she asks. “I know Dad is anxious about it but won’t dare ask today and break Mom’s ‘no business talk at my anniversary party’ rule.”

The sound of annoyance in my voice is evident in my reply to Jules. “Nothing yet. I keep checking my phone and not a word from Nelson. Jordan is on it, though, so I guess I just have to be patient.”

“Like you even know the meaning of that word, Parker,” Jules jokes. Even I have to admit she’s right.

“What word? There are so many words Parker doesn’t know, Jules. You need to be more specific.” Liam laughs, nudging me as he joins us at the bar. “Did you tell Hunter who you ran into today?”

“No. Are you holding out on me?” Hunter smirks with one brow raised in my direction.

Not wanting to answer this question, I try to play it off as matter of fact as I can, “I ran into Olivia today before the party. My mom hired her to do the flowers.”

“Olivia Madden?” Hunter asks.

“Yes, Olivia Madden,” I respond. I didn’t plan on getting into this tonight.

“Interesting choice of florists by Mrs. B.” Hunter shoots me a questioning look. “So, how did that go?”

I’m not sure how much I want to say. Hunter can be a tough crowd. Besides, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to get Livy to talk to me.

“It was good to see her and that’s all you’re getting from me on this subject.” I take a long sip of the cold, oaky liquid, leaving my mouth feeling dry after it’s gone.

“Fuck, Parker. You really want to go down that road again? I remember the aftermath she left in her wake. You were fucked up for months,” Hunter says.

“Yeah Parker, I had to binge drink with you for a solid week after she dumped you. Wait, maybe it’s not such a bad idea, going back down that road,” Miles teases. “I’m always up for drinks.”

“You boys are complete tools. I can’t take another second. Since when did being loved by someone become such torture? You guys need to grow up.” Jules turns and walks away, but not before rolling her eyes so hard I’m thinking it must have hurt.

“What’s got Jules running away from you three fuck nuts?” Liam interjects, arriving at the bar.

“It’s nothing. But what isn’t nothing are our plans for tomorrow night. Where are we going? It’s Parker’s last night in town so let’s make it a good one,” Hunter announces.

“Why don’t we hit up Catch 21? I can text Jonathan now and ask him to reserve us a table,” Miles offers.

Catch 21 is one of Reed Point’s newest hot spots, right on the beach. Our buddy Jonathan is the night manager, which helps because it’s typically pretty busy. You can’t beat the view of the ocean from the expansive patio covered in string lights.

We agree to meet for drinks, but in the back of my mind I know that might change depending on what happens with Livy tomorrow. I have one more day here before I head back to New York and it feels like the clock is ticking.

I take my seat at the table to finish the lemon thing that was served for desert when my dad catches my eye. He appears distracted, his mind somewhere else, and from the way he is looking in my direction. It may have something to do with me. My mother has left the table to mingle with guests, so he takes the opportunity to check in with me. He does that with each of us kids every so often, reminding us that he is always there with an ear and a shoulder.

“How’s New York, son?” he asks, taking the empty seat next to me. “You know the hours you spend at the office are going to catch up with you. Life is short, Parker, you don’t want to work it away.”

“With all due respect, Dad, I think I learned about hard work from the best. You are the hardest working man that I know. Even Liam takes second place to you.”

“You’re right, son, I have worked very hard for everything I have in life, but you are forgetting one very important thing. I have your mother.”

I wait for him to elaborate because I know more is coming. My father is a man of many words when he wants to be, and I can tell by his tone that on this occasion he wants to be.

“Parker, I do work very hard, but I come home every day to someone who loves and supports me and that makes it all worth it. Your mother and I worry about you. We just want what is best for you, we want you to be happy and fulfilled in your life. And we know how much happier you can be sharing your life with someone who loves you and cares about you.”

“I am happy, Dad. I love my job and I’m happy doing what I do.” I am trying hard to convince one of the only people on the planet who can see right through me.

“Think about what I said, Parker. Life is better with balance. You will find your work so much more fulfilling if you have someone to share in your successes.” My father stands and places his strong hand on my shoulder. “I love you, son.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

I watch him make his way to my mother, who is busy mingling with her guests. He rests his hand on her lower back and kisses her temple. I think about the truth bomb he just dropped in my lap and wonder if I’m ready to settle down.