Always Been You by Lily Miller
Ten
Parker
Livy looks lost in a dream,her long, dark eyelashes casting a shadow on her cheeks, her pale pink lips still swollen from last night. The morning light filters through the sheer curtains in her bedroom, leaving its glow over her.
I lay beside her, taking in the perfect view. I’m usually not one to stick around but literally all I want to do is stay here beside her and stare at her breathtaking face.
Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected to be here, lying in bed with Livy, but here we are after all these years and nothing has ever felt so right.
I sit up, carefully untwining our bodies so as not to wake her. I look down at her again. The bed sheet covers her naked body up to her chest. She is on her side with the sheet pulled tight, revealing the curve of her hip. I had forgotten how good it feels to be inside her. There is no coming down from this high. As much I’d like to stay here in bed all day with her, I know if I don’t get up now, I’ll have my hands all over her again. And after what we did last night, I know she could use the rest.
We barely got through dinner last night before winding up back in her bed. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other, making up for the eight long years we had been apart. We moved from the kitchen counter to her couch to her bed, finally falling asleep in each other’s arms just after midnight. It was the best sleep of my life having her warm soft body wrapped up in mine, which is surprising considering I have gotten so used to sleeping alone. I liked listening to the sound of her even breathing as she fell asleep on my chest, her body nestled into mine.
One night with Olivia, I knew now, would never be enough.
I fight the urge to wake her up, to put my hands and mouth all over her body, and instead slip out of bed and pull on my boxer briefs. We both have to work today so I make my way to her kitchen to make us breakfast. This girl deserves to experience my culinary skills.
I fumble through her cabinets to find what I need and get to work, trying to be as quiet as I can. Luckily for me, her kitchen is fully stocked with groceries and top of the line pots and pans. She could basically host her own cooking show in this place. I have everything I need to wow her with one of my famous breakfasts.
First up, coffee. Once that’s brewing, I throw the bacon in a pan and get to work on the pancakes.
I’m anxious for Livy to wake up, hoping she’s not having second thoughts about last night. I had hoped like hell we would end up in bed together when she agreed to have dinner with me, but I never imagined it would be as incredible as it was.
But does she feel the same?
What if it wasn’t as incredible for her? What if she regrets it? I can’t believe I’ve already started picturing a life with her. Fucking white picket fence and all. Who the hell am I?
“He cooks, too.” Livy is standing in the entrance of the kitchen wearing only my t-shirt that lands just above her knees. Her hair is in a messy bun thing on her head and she’s leaning against the wall with a slow smile curving her lips. Her eyes trail down my bare chest as I catch her ogling me and I fucking love that she looks at me like that.
“I hope you’re hungry. Coffee is made too.”
“You’ve come a long way.” She looks incredible standing there in just my t-shirt and I drink her in. “I’m not sure the boy I used to know could boil water.”
She tries to duck past me in the small kitchen, making a beeline for the coffee maker, and I can’t resist pulling her to me by her hips. Her back curves perfectly into my chest.
I nibble on her ear and then press a kiss to the side of her face, wanting her to know what just the sight of her does to me.
“You are killing me in that t-shirt right now. You are every one of my fantasies come to life.” I growl in her ear and she giggles, the sweetest sound. I pull her tighter into me and she tilts her head back so her lips can reach mine, kissing me slowly. I breath in her familiar scent. I want it on my clothes, on my bed sheets, everywhere.
I release her reluctantly to finish cooking our breakfast and she pours two cups of coffee, one for each of us.
“How do you like your coffee?”
“Black works. Thanks babe.” The word slips effortlessly from my mouth. I’m not sure what we are yet to each other, but I know I can’t rush things. We made so much progress last night and I don’t want to lose that. I want to keep this moving forward.
I plate the pancakes and bacon for the two of us and place them on her small round dining table. She sits and I take the seat beside her so I can be closer to her. My knee leans against hers as I sit back into my chair.
“So, what’s your plan for today?” I’m really hoping to get more time with her. Last night was a breakthrough for us and I want her to know that I’m committed to seeing where we can go from here.
“Ellie and I have that event today to prep for so it’s going to be a long one. How about you?”
“I guess I’ll resign my position as your number one assistant and head into the office. I’m sure there’s a lot to catch up on considering I haven’t bothered to check my emails for a full twenty-four hours.” I’m starting to not even recognize myself. It feels surprisingly good to focus on something other than work.
“I hope I’ll be able to get all my work done without you.” She grins before taking a sip of her coffee.
“I can be on call in case of a flower catastrophe,” I joke, noticing Livy’s smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
She picks at the pancakes on her plate with her fork before nervously asking me, “Parker, can I ask you something?”
"Ask me anything Livy, I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I’m an open book when it comes to you.” I look her in the eyes, hoping she will see that I mean it.
“Have you really thought your decision through to stay here for a while? I don’t want to come between you and your work.”
I want to put her mind at ease, to reassure her that I can work effectively from here for a little while. I don’t want her to think for a second that being here with her is an inconvenience.
“I absolutely have. There’s nothing I do behind my desk in New York that I can’t do from here. Besides, it will be good to work along-side my dad and Jules for a while. It’s long overdue, actually. I’ve been meaning to come back and work with the Reed Point team, and now have an added incentive to stay… a very sexy incentive.” I wink and nudge her foot with my toes under the table.
“Now let’s talk about tonight. Can I see you later?” I turn to face her in my seat. I drop my hand to her thigh, gently squeezing it. I swing her body to face me, leaning forward to kiss her. “Dinner with me? Let me take you out somewhere nice.”
“I would love that, Parker,” she answers with very little hesitation in her voice and I can’t help but lean into her again, pressing another slow kiss to her lips. I can’t get enough of her mouth on mine.
“Perfect, I’ll pick you up at seven.”
I grab her empty plate and her coffee mug and straighten up the kitchen as she watches me from her chair with a playful look on her face. Her tanned bare legs stretch out in front of her, toned from her daily runs. My dick takes notice too.
“I think we should add housekeeper to your list of jobs, right after floral assistant and chef.”
“Don’t forget to add sex machine to that list too,” I joke. We both laugh as she tosses her napkin at me and I turn around to adjust what is currently happening in my briefs.
“Time for a quick shower before work? We can save water and shower together. It would only be the right thing to do for the environment. You know, save the earth.” I stick out my bottom lip and flash her my best puppy dog eyes.
“I’m sure that’s what you are worried about.” She rolls her eyes. “I do have to take a shower. Whether or not you join me is up to you.”
Livy reaches for the hem of her t-shirt -my t-shirt- and pulls it over her head in the sexiest way possible, giving me the most unbelievable view of her bare back and that ass that I can’t get enough of. This might be the best Tuesday of my life.
* * *
I’min the middle of a meeting that seems to be lasting all day. I keep reminding myself to focus on the conversation going on around me, but my mind keeps drifting to Livy lying naked on her bed, Livy dripping wet in the shower and the best night of sex of my life. Talking business usually amps me up but today I’m short on patience. This meeting needs to end before I lose it completely. The thought of stabbing my eye out with my pencil comes briefly to mind.
I discreetly tap out a text to Livy to see how her day is going.
Can’t wait for our date tonight. Get ready, it’s going to be fun xo
I lock my phone and place it on the boardroom table. I’m sitting across from my father and Liam and my father’s secretary Erin, discussing the Cape May project. Liam went over the contracts yesterday, so we are signing off on them today. Everything seems to be in order, so we are breathing a little easier and excited to get started on construction.
We have yet to address the elephant in the room, the question of why I chose to put off my return to New York. I can tell that they are wondering and waiting for me to bring up the subject but I’m enjoying watching them squirm. I really have no problem sharing my news about Livy with my family, but I thought it would be best to do it after we finished talking shop.
My mind continues to wander to last night, in particular to one moment that is stamped in my mind, when Livy said I want you Parker. I want all of you. The lust in those heartbreaker eyes and her shallow breathing as she gave herself over to me. My dick perks up in my pants just thinking about it. I send him a message to chill and calm down. Now’s not the time.
I’m interrupted by a knock at the office door as my sister Jules walks in and takes a seat at the long rectangular cherry wood table. This table holds many memories for me. My mom used to bring me and my brothers and sister to the office on weekends to visit my dad and we would sit around this table and watch him work. All these years later, I still remember the pride on his face when I started working for his company.
“Good morning, Juliette. Do you need me for something?” My father asks as Jules sits down on a leather swivel chair beside me.
“No, I’m good Dad. I just needed a break from my computer. I knew you were all in a meeting, so I thought I’d drop by. I also wanted to know why my brother here extended his stay?” Jules eyes me with a smirk.
“Leave it to Jules to be the only one in the room with the balls to ask,” Liam teases, clearly waiting for my answer.
I clear my throat. “I spent some time with Olivia over the weekend and I’m not ready to leave her. I thought I would stay at the beach house for a few weeks and work from here. I want to see where it goes with the two of us.”
“It must have been quite the weekend if you are willing to stay here longer than forty-eight hours. Please spare us the details though,” Jules warns, swiveling in her seat.
If they only knew.
“Son, it’s no secret that we adore Olivia, we always have. You stay here as long as you need. The beach house is yours.”
“Thanks, Dad. I don’t want you to worry. I won’t let my personal life get in the way of work. Everything is running smoothly with Cape May and Jordan has New York under control. I will check in with him throughout the day.”
“I know how hard you work. I’m not concerned for a second that your tasks will suffer - in fact I am elated that you are finally prioritizing what’s really important in life. Your mother and I have been waiting for the day when you found someone who makes you realize that there is more to life than work. I hope things work out between the two of you.”
“I’ve always liked her, and Dad is right, you do work too much,” Liam adds. “And let’s face it: we all figured you’d end up with her, it was only a matter of time. You just seem to be the last one to figure it out.”
“Woah, slow down. This is all brand new, and Livy is still nervous. I’m going to have to take things slow with her.”
“All the best things in life take time, son. Have patience and I’m sure she’ll come around and learn to trust you.” My father’s eyes meet mine from across the table and I can tell he is speaking from experience.
“Guys, I’d love to stay and help plan the wedding, but I’ve got work to do. Parker, go get your girl. I’ll be at my office if something pops up with the Cape May project and you need my help.” Liam pushes his chair back and stands, patting our dad on his shoulder before leaving the room.
“Just an idea, Parks. If you really want to win her over, you should give James a call. He is always offering up his vacation home for us to use. It’s so beautiful there and I bet Livy would love that little town with all those cute shops and galleries. You should give him a call and see if you can stay there for a night or two.”
“That’s a great idea, Jules. I think I might just do that.” James is my cousin and owns a beautiful vacation property right on the ocean with a private dock and a sexy 32-foot Sea Ray Sundancer, a cruiser boat with a small cabin below and a lounge area up top. My sister is right, Livy would love it there.
My phone vibrates on the table and my heart just about jumps through my chest. I realize immediately that I’m hoping to see Livy’s name. I pick it up but am disappointed to see a text from Jordan. It has been an hour since I messaged Livy and no response. I hope she’s just busy. She seemed okay this morning when I left her. I pray she is not having second thoughts.
I decide to shoot her another text, not able to stop myself.
Is it weird that I miss you already? Can’t wait to see you. ;)
I spend the rest of the day lining up meetings with our architects and project managers for Cape May. I’ve taken over a spare office that we use as a shared space whenever Liam or I need a place to work. It is a busy afternoon playing catch-up after all the work I missed the day before, and I end up skipping lunch. I’ve checked my phone at least a thousand times this afternoon and still no reply from Livy.
I pick up the phone to call Jordan when I’m interrupted by a knock at my door.
“Come in.”
Jules walks in with a paper bag in her hand.
“I haven’t seen you leave your office all day so I figured I would pick you up some lunch. Hope you are hungry, it’s a turkey clubhouse from my favourite place down the block.”
“You are one hundred percent my favorite sister.”
“I’m your only sister you dimwit.” She moves into the office, hands me the bag with the sandwich and sits in one of the chairs opposite my desk.
“Everything okay? You seem a little distracted.”
I’m not sure my sister is the one I want to talk to about this, but I need some advice because I feel like I’m losing my mind. This weekend has been a rollercoaster of emotions and I can feel the stress of it all like a rock in the pit of my stomach.
“It’s Livy.”
“I figured as much. Want to talk about it?”
“Not really. But kind of. Okay, I guess I do.” Fuck, I’m really losing it.
“Everything was so good this morning when I left her, but I’ve texted her twice today and no response. I feel like I’m coming undone. I’m hoping she’s not regretting last night.” I can feel the vein pulsing in my neck, and I try to rub the tension away with my fingers.
“I’ve never seen you like this over a woman, Parker. She is really under your skin.”
I lean back into my chair and rub both of my hands over my face. Jules is right, I’ve never felt this way before about a woman. Ever. Correction- about any other woman.
“If it’s Livy that you want, then go get her. Why are you still here?” She says, lifting her brow.
I ponder the question for all of five seconds then sit up straight in my chair and shut my computer. I want Livy.
“You’re a smart cookie, Jules. Why the hell am I still here? Tell Dad I left for the day and I’ll see him tomorrow. Love you, Jules.”
“Love you too, Parks.”
I finish my sandwich because a guy has to eat, grab my laptop and my keys and throw on my suit jacket. I glance at the pile of paperwork on my desk still needing my attention. It will have to wait.
I head out the door with one thing on my mind: finding Livy and getting her back in my arms where she belongs. I’ve lost her once before and I’m not going to make that same mistake twice.
* * *
Something is off with Livy.I just know it. My mind is racing with reasons she might be shutting down on me as I drive to the first place I think she might be. Bloom. It’s four o’clock and she is supposed to be working until six.
I park my car and head into the shop to find Ellie working by herself on an arrangement. She stops what she’s doing and greets me with a cautious smile.
“Hey Ellie, how’s your day going?” I’d like to cut right to the chase and ask her where Livy is, but I manage to remember my manners first.
“Hey Parker. You look nice in your suit. Working at the office today?”
“I am, and thanks. Hey, is Livy around?”
“She’s not, I’m afraid. She just left for a break.”
“Do you know where she could be?” My throat tightens all of a sudden.
“I don’t know exactly, she just said that she needed some fresh air.” Ellie stops what she is doing and wipes her hands down the apron she’s wearing. “Are you guys okay? I mean, I know it’s none of my business, but she seemed quiet today, like something was on her mind.”
I feel my jaw pulse, then tense. “Ellie, I’ve got it bad for that girl. I’m all in but I think she’s having a harder time accepting me back in her life.”
“That’s not surprising. She is cautious, especially when it comes to her heart. She has been through way more than your average 28-year-old and trust doesn’t come easy to her. She just needs time to sort it all out in her mind. You mean something to her. You always have, so it makes everything more complicated.”
“I’ll give her all the time she needs but I’m not giving up.” It dawns on me that I know exactly where to find her.
“I can do that. Thanks Ellie, for the talk. I’ve got to run.”
“Anytime. I’m one hundred percent Team Parkey.”
I stare at her with a confused look on my face. “You’re team what?”
“Team Parkey. You know, Parker and Livy smashed together. Or do you think Larker’s better? I’m still working out the kinks.”
I roll my eyes and chuckle. “The smashing part sounds good. Thanks, Ellie. Have a good night.”
I race out of Bloom and head on foot straight to the spot where I’m positive she will be. I make my way down First Street towards the ocean, taking in the quiet streets and fresh ocean air. Walking through New York is like an assault to your senses. The masses of people, the bright lights, the sounds and the energy all coming at you at once. I loved all of that for a while, I fed off it, but being back here now has made me realize how much I miss this place. A slower paced life, Sunday dinners with my family and dare I say it, even watching my children play in my parents’ pool one day all suddenly sound very appealing to me.
There’s a light breeze as I approach the beach. The sun is bright, the air dry and warm. I stop where the concrete gives way to the sand, remove my dress shoes and take in the view, the shoreline stretching on for miles. Then I spot her. Livy. She’s sitting in the sand, her knees pulled tightly against her body. My girl has always come to the beach to think and clear her mind and as anxious as I feel right now, seeing her gazing at the ocean, makes me smile.
I move closer to her, feeling the knot in my stomach getting tighter as the distance closes between us. There’s a chance that she wants to call off whatever this is between us. I flinch at the thought, but I’m not going down without a fight.
I sit down beside her, noticing how deep in thought she is. Her brows are knit together, her lips pierced in a straight line.
“Hey Liv, mind if I sit with you?” I cross my long legs at the ankle, not caring that my Armani suit is getting dirty in the sand.
“How did you find me here?” She shifts her gaze to me, asking the question like it amazes her. She looks beautiful, with the sun’s rays casting bright lines across her face. She looks so small, so delicate and lost in her thoughts.
“I remember your love of the ocean. I also remember that when you need time to yourself this is where you come. I remember everything about you, Livy. I know how much you like the feel of the warm sand between your toes and the sounds of the waves crashing in. I know how it centers and calms you being near the ocean. When I didn’t hear back from you today and didn’t find you at work, I knew you would be here.” I watch her intently as she tucks a few loose strands of her hair behind her ear. There is something she wants to say, I can tell the words are on the tip of her tongue.
“Talk to me, Livy. What’s on your mind?”
“I’m sorry, Parker, I didn’t mean to ignore you, but the last two days with you have been a lot for me to take in. Don’t take that the wrong way, I’ve loved spending time with you again. I’m just scared to let you back into my life only to lose you again. I know I couldn’t take the heartache.”
“Why do you think you will lose me?”
“Parker, we lead two different lives. I don’t know any other way to say it. How can it work? We’d just be playing house for a few short weeks and then you’ll be gone again. My feelings for you are already so strong. I can’t imagine the way I will feel about you in a couple of weeks when you decide you need to go back to your life in New York. It will crush me.”
My heart leaps in my chest. Her admission that she feels strongly for me is all I needed to hear.
“Livy, I’m not leaving you. We will figure this out together. In three days, you have managed to change everything for me and when I think about my future now, you’re all I see.”
“That’s what scares me, Parker. Will I be enough for you when the passion and excitement wear off? How will I fit into your world? You know I have a past, Parker, one that you probably don’t want attached to your family’s last name.”
This is a topic I’ve known we would need to discuss at some point, but I haven’t wanted to ruin the momentum we have going. I have so many questions, but above all I just want to be there for her, and I need her to understand this.
“Is that what this is really about? You think I’m embarrassed by your past? Do you not know me at all? I was right by your side when it all went down, and it never changed a thing for me.” I feel my jaw tense as I struggle to understand where this is all coming from.
“What about your family? Do you really think they want their successful son dating the daughter of a convicted felon? They have a well-respected name; they don’t need my past tarnishing it.”
She looks down, avoiding eye contact with me as she streams the warm sand through her fingers. She has it all wrong. My parents are two of the most understanding and non-judgmental people around. They know about the mess Livy’s dad got himself into. Hell, it was front-page news, everyone in Reed Point at the time knew what had happened. It never changed my parents’ opinion of Livy, though. I don’t know why she would think it would.
“Livy, my parents couldn’t give a shit about any of that. They would never judge you for what your father did. My parents love you; they would want nothing more than to see me with you. Think about it - have they ever given you any reason for you to believe that they have doubts about you?”
I pause to let what I said sink in. She needs to know that the past is in the past and no one from my family is judging her - or ever has.
“Just accept it Liv, I’m here to stay. I’m not just walking away from this. I should have fought harder for us the first time.” I watch her expression soften and I reach for her hand, lacing our fingers together.
“Do you have any idea how crazy I am about you? I haven’t been able to get you off of my mind since the second I saw you at my parents’ house. You are all I can think about. I want you Livy. I want us. You have to trust me. I promise you I won’t hurt you.”
“I believe you, Parker.” Her brown eyes shimmer, her hair golden in the sun. My eyes drift to her lips I’m dying to kiss.
“Livy let’s do this. I promise you I will never hurt you. I…”
“Kiss me, Parker.”
My heart hammers in my chest as I cup her face in my hands and pull her mouth to mine. I seal my lips to hers, angling my chin to take the kiss deeper. She tastes salty like the ocean. She wraps one hand around the back of my neck and runs the other through my hair. My hands find her waist and I lift her body to mine, her legs straddling my waist as she sits on my lap. My dick throbs, pushing against her center.
I fist my hands into her hair and the sexiest sound slips from her mouth. I love the little noises she makes. Her lips part as she takes in a breath and I run my tongue across the length of her bottom lip. Her lips curve up in a smile and I can’t help but smile back into our kiss.
My hands travel down to the small of her back and I dig my hands into her hips, pulling her closer to me. My hands glide over her ass and I kiss her hard. I want to be inside of her, to feel her skin against mine. A low groan rumbles from my throat.
“Don’t stop kissing me,” she pleads, her voice breathy.
She doesn’t have to ask me twice.
I can feel her body starting to completely relax and a rush of heat washes over me. I need to feel more of her. I want to lay her down and take her right here on this beach.
“Livy,” I moan as I break the kiss. “It’s taking everything in me right now to not rip off your clothes, but we are at a public beach. Unless you want to be ticketed for public indecency, we better stop. Come with me to the beach house.”
She laughs and leans back a little, making me immediately miss her body on mine. I take her hand in mine and kiss the tips of her fingers. The sound of her laughter is one of the best things I’ve heard all day. It’s almost as good as her response.
“Hurry Parker, let’s go.”