Made to Order by Brigham Vaughn

NINETEEN

“How’d it go?” Donovan asked in a low tone as he stood up from his desk.

The restaurant had closed several hours ago, and the bar was about to shut down. The mixer had just ended too. People were leaving in small groups, talking and hugging as they said their goodbyes. He’d texted Tyler, asking him to stop by his office once he was done cleaning up after the event.

The sight of him put Donovan at ease.

“Pretty well,” Tyler said, leaning in the doorway with his hands braced on either side of it and a small smile on his face. Seeing him kicked Donovan’s heartbeat into overdrive. God, Tyler was sexy in the well-fitted black trousers and shirt. As always, his sleeves were rolled up and Donovan was starting to think he had a serious forearm kink. It was even hotter when it showed off the heavy black ink that covered them and the back of Tyler’s hands.

Donovan stood and walked toward him. “I’m glad to hear that. You seemed nervous this morning.” He’d hoped it would go well and that Tyler would see that the kink community was filled with a broad range of decent people. There were always a handful of assholes who gave it a bad name but for the most part he’d found it welcoming and friendly, filled with people who built a real sense of community and looked out for one another. He hadn’t been active in it in a few years but he respected it a lot.

Maybe if Tyler could see the good in it, he’d feel more comfortable embracing that side of himself.

Tyler nodded and dropped his arms. “Yeah, I guess I was nervous. But everyone seemed nice. Weirdest thing happened—”

Donovan frowned and stepped forward, wondering what on earth Tyler meant. Soft footfalls caught their attention, and Tyler paused midsentence to peer over his shoulder.

Donovan let out a curse under his breath as Jude sauntered into view, a smile on his face.

“I think you must have gotten turned around,” Tyler said. “This area is employees only.”

“I know. I came in search of your executive chef.”

“Jude.” Donovan pushed past Tyler to square off with his ex. “What are you doing here?”

Tyler looked between them. “You two know each other?”

Donovan let out a quiet snort, though he didn’t feel an ounce of amusement. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Oh, from the kink community. I guess that makes sense,” Tyler said quietly.

“No.” Donovan’s tone was short. “This is Jude Maddox.”

“Yeah, we met earlier at the mixer.”

There was no hint that Tyler had a clue who Jude was to him. Apparently, he’d never mentioned him by name. “My ex-boyfriend,” he clarified.

Tyler went still, his eyes widening. “Oh. You never told me his name—”

“It’s fine. You couldn’t have known.” But Donovan felt a grim sense of certainty that this was about to get messy and awkward.

Jude stepped forward, closing the distance between them. “So, this is the guy you told me about?”

“You told him about me?” Tyler hissed.

“Not by name.” Donovan said quietly, wanting to reassure him. “Only that I was seeing someone and that you were new to kink and being with a man.”

Tyler turned to face him. “And you didn’t bother to mention to me that you’d seen your ex?” The hurt in his voice was clear.

Donovan frowned at him. Shit, shit, shit, this was what he’d been afraid of. “He came into the restaurant a while back and we talked briefly. There was really nothing to tell you about.” He tried to make his voice as soothing as possible.

“Ouch.” Jude clutched a hand to his chest.

“Oh, don’t make it out to be more than it was,” Donovan snapped. God, there Jude went, always trying to make it about him. Donovan was so tired of it.

“We did talk about getting back together.” Jude’s tone was flippant.

Tyler winced, and Donovan resisted the urge to hustle Jude out the door before he caused an even bigger mess. The last thing he wanted was for Tyler to think that Donovan had even considered it for a moment.

“You were the one who talked about that,” Donovan said, his tone short and irritated. “I told you I wasn’t interested. As I said before, I’m seeing someone.” He put a protective hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “Plus, we had problems that were unfixable.”

Jude stepped forward again, closing the distance between them. “Are you sure they’re unfixable? I’m starting to wonder if our problem was that we had casual partners before. I think we should have tried to find a permanent third. I know you and Tyler are involved now but what if all three of us gave something a shot?”

Donovan stared open-mouthed at his ex-boyfriend for a moment before he glanced at Tyler. The look on his face was filled with hurt and fear as if he thought Donovan would actually consider that. Donovan rubbed his shoulder, trying to reassure him he wanted no part of what Jude was proposing. Whether or not he and Jude could have fixed their relationship with a third wasn’t the point. Donovan had moved on and he had no desire to share Tyler with anyone. He opened his mouth to say so but once again, Jude spoke first.

“I talked to Tyler earlier, and I totally see the appeal, Donovan. He could top me and submit to you. Or submit to both of us. We could figure out the logistics of that as we went.” Jude shot them both a hopeful smile. “I think it was the chaos of things that didn’t work before. Having new play partners and hookups muddied everything. We were constantly in flux, trying to figure out the right dynamic.” Jude beamed, like he’d come up with the solution to all the problems that had existed between them. “This would be perfect. We’d all have an equal part in the relationship, and it would be so much more balanced that way.”

“Do I get any say in this?” Tyler snapped, looking between them. “Look, Donovan, I thought we had something. I know I haven’t been ready to come out, but I honestly thought we were getting … somewhere.”

Donovan pulled him closer. “We are.”

Tyler looked straight at Jude. “And I told you earlier that I wasn’t interested in you, Jude.”

Jude rolled his eyes. “Come on, I’m not trying to be pushy here but—”

“Well, you are,” Donovan said.

He felt ferociously protective of Tyler right now. Tired of Jude talking about this like it was fait accompli, like they’d already discussed it and had a plan to move forward when Donovan had told him he wasn’t interested. It was infuriating. Then again, that was what their relationship had always been like. Jude getting these brilliant ideas and Donovan trying to rein him in. He didn’t know why he’d ever thought Jude could be the kind of submissive he wanted. Tyler was plenty strong, but he didn’t seem to have the same urge to push and push at every boundary Donovan had.

“I have told you this before, and I’ll say it again if that’s what it takes to sink through your thick skull, Jude. We. Are. Over.”

“You won’t even hear me out?” Jude scowled. “What the fuck, Donovan? You used to at least listen to me. You owe me that at least.”

“I owe you nothing.” Donovan let go of Tyler, then stepped forward until his chest nearly brushed Jude’s, glaring straight into his eyes. “I tried. For years. I made myself miserable for you. I loved you with all my heart for a long time, and you’re a decent guy, Jude—or at least you used to be—but we were fucking miserable together by the end. Nothing can fix that. We are over. Done. This relationship has been dead for years and there’s no resuscitating it even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. Tyler and I have some things to figure out but that’s between us. I’m not sharing Tyler with anyone. Not you or anyone else. Look, if you want a triad with a Dom, go find it. But it isn’t going to be with me.”

Donovan turned to look at Tyler. He was ninety-nine percent sure that Tyler wanted the same thing he did, but he had to be completely certain. He had to offer him this out if he wanted it. At least then Donovan would know. “Tyler, if you’re interested in being with Jude, you and Jude can discuss it, but I want no part of it. I can’t share you.”

There, he’d laid it all out on the line.

“No!” Tyler grabbed his arm. “I don’t want Jude. I want what we already have.” He glanced over at Jude. “Look, you seem like an interesting guy. You’re good-looking and I’m flattered but I’m not interested in what you’re proposing either. I care about Donovan. I have shit to figure out, but I do know for sure that I don’t want what you are offering.”

Donovan felt nothing but relief.

Jude winced, however. “Jesus, you two really know how to hit a guy when he’s down, and I didn’t even consent to it.”

“Don’t you dare say that,” Donovan said in a low, furious tone. “You asked for this. You pushed for it, in fact. This isn’t kink. This is you pouting because you aren’t getting what you wanted. I’m sorry, Jude. You know I loved you, but I’ve moved on. It’s time you do the same.”

Donovan brushed past Tyler, heading for the back door. If he stayed, he was likely to try to shake some sense into Jude or say something he’d regret. As he walked through the door, he glanced back and saw Jude standing with his hands in his pockets, head bowed.

Donovan winced at the dejected posture, almost feeling bad for his ex. Almost. He truly hadn’t wanted to hurt him, but Jude just didn’t seem to know when to quit.

More important, Donovan was relieved to see Tyler. When the door closed behind them, Donovan felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him. He staggered back and leaned against the table with a heavy sigh.

“Hey, you okay?” Tyler asked softly, his forehead wrinkling with concern.

Donovan rubbed his temple. “I … don’t even know. Jude really threw me for a loop there. I did not see that coming.”

“Neither did I. I mean, he hit on me at the mixer but …”

Donovan lifted his head, voicing the one little nagging worry that just wouldn’t go away. “You are switchy to some degree. If that’s the kind of thing you want …”

“It’s not. Honestly.” Tyler stepped toward him, his gaze earnest.

“If we go forward, I can’t … I’m not wired to switch,” Donovan warned him.

“I know that. I’ve never once felt the urge to top you, Donovan. I don’t want to be a Dom.”

“Not even to a woman?”

Tyler shrugged. “I don’t know how to explain it. What I did in the past was good. I liked it. But this is something else. This feels right in a way the other things never did. Maybe I’m bisexual. Maybe I am a little switchy. But at the end of the day, I just want what we have. I just want you.”

Donovan swallowed audibly. “Then you’ve got me.”

Tyler rested his hands on Donovan’s splayed thighs. “I know I have stuff to figure out. That we’re … still trying to feel our way through this, and I don’t know that I’m ready to be collared and come out and all that yet … I want to try, but it’s going to take me a while.”

“It’s okay.” Donovan grasped Tyler’s hips and pulled him forward, so he stood between his knees. “This is enough for now. We can work up to that. I just had to be sure of where you stood.”

“I’m sure I want to be with you,” Tyler said firmly. He slid his hands up Donovan’s thighs and leaned in for a kiss.

“Someone on the staff could walk out at any minute,” Donovan warned him before their lips made contact. “Hell, someone could have heard our earlier argument.”

“I don’t care,” Tyler whispered. “I just need to be close to you.”

Donovan took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and kissed the ever-loving hell out of Tyler. The last tendril of fear unfurled in Donovan’s chest as he relaxed into the kiss, trusting that while they weren’t where he wanted to be yet, they were getting there. In time, they’d figure it out.

Donovan trapped Tyler between his knees, delving his tongue between Tyler’s lips to show him who was in charge, and Tyler softened, leaning in, letting him lead.