My Unexpected Family by Harlow James

Chapter 4

Silas

I huff out a wave of irritation as I knock on the door of Wes’s house. It’s been a few weeks since Hayes and Waverly’s wedding, but apparently it was time for us all to hangout out again.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my boys. Hayes and Wes have been one of the only constants in my life that I haven’t felt the need or desire to abandon. But now that they’re both married, I sort of feel out of place, like a fifth wheel when Shayla and Waverly are around.

And since they’re married now, that means they get convinced of ideas concocted by their wives, ideas that make me roll my eyes when I’m summoned to be a part of them.

Game night? Really? When did playing board games become acceptable in your thirties?

Suddenly my internal dialogue has me questioning whether I’m starting to sound like a grumpy old man.

“Silas!” Shayla exclaims when she opens the door, a beaming smile on her face. Her long, black hair is down and she has an apron on over her jeans and blue tank top. Jesus Christ. Apparently wedded bliss translates into owning an apron. Even Nonna wears one still and my grandfather has been dead for a long time, and I know I’ve seen Valentina wear one a time or two.

“Hey, Shayla.” I step in and kiss her on the cheek. “You look beautiful. Thanks for inviting me. I brought some wine,” I say, handing her the bottle of Fruliano that I brought with Chloe in mind, a detail that I definitely won’t be sharing.

“Oh! Is this the wine Chloe and I were drinking at your restaurant in Vegas?” Well, I guess I wasn’t as sly as I thought.

“Yes. I know you loved it and figured you could take down a glass or two.”

Shayla eyes me over her shoulder and then smiles tightly. “Oh. Yeah, I’ll definitely have a glass.” She spins around and heads toward the kitchen as I follow her.

Huh. Guess Shayla really liked that wine.

When we exit the long hallway that leads to the open concept kitchen and living room, I can see that I’m the last person to arrive. Hayes and Waverly are sitting next to each other on the couch, Wes and Shayla are moving around each other in the kitchen, and Chloe is staring at her phone in her seat in the oversized chair in the corner.

“Hey, Silas. Glad you could make time for your friends.” Wes steps around Shayla and reaches for my hand to shake while flashing me a wink. He’s been giving me shit about not coming around, particularly when they’ve been extending the invite. But I’ve been too busy with work, or something is going on with my family. And sometimes, the idea of leaving after I finally get home seems like more work than my job. Besides, sporadic get-togethers mess with my routine, which in turn makes my anxiety spike.

But Wes was insistent that I show up tonight because Shayla has been wanting to have a game night for a while now and they needed the teams to be even. So I guess I can only assume who’s going to be my partner. Doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to figure that one out.

“Silas, my man.” Hayes pats me on the shoulder while reaching for a buffalo wing on a platter on the counter.

“Hayes,” I reply.

“I know you are not eating my buffalo wings, Hayes,” Chloe declares, rushing over to where I’m standing next to my friend, fury in her eyes.

Hayes pauses with the wing in front of his mouth, his eyes open with hesitation. “Uh…I didn’t know these were just for you, Chloe.”

“They’re not,” Shayla says, widening her eyes at Chloe, holding a conversation between the two of them without any words. “I have plenty, Hayes. Have at it.”

Hayes shifts his eyes between the two of them before grabbing a few more from the plate and running off, scared for his life.

Chloe glares at her friend. “There’d better be more, Shayla.” She starts to load up her own plate with wings before twisting slightly and meeting my eyes with her own. “Oh. Hey, Silas.”

“Chloe. You look beautiful,” I say, even though I probably shouldn’t say things like that in front of our friends. But I did just say the same thing to Shayla when she answered the door, so it doesn’t look too conspicuous—although no one was around to hear that.

But she does look gorgeous. Her hair is down and her natural curls are full and tucked behind her ears. She’s wearing a black sleeveless sundress that doesn’t quite cling to her body but still gives her a shape. And her face has very little make-up on it, which I love because I honestly don’t think Chloe needs it. But she does look a little pale and tired, which is sort of what I noticed at Hayes and Waverly’s wedding.

“Uh, thanks. You look nice too.” Her eyes drift down my torso and then flick away once more as she dips a spoon into a bowl of ranch for her buffalo wings. And then she walks away from me, much like she did at the wedding as well. Did I say or do something wrong? Why does it seem like this woman is avoiding me?

“Uh, are you hungry?” Shayla says, pulling my attention back to her. “We have plenty of food.”

“Oh, yeah. I’ll grab a plate. Thanks.” I spend a minute filling my plate up with finger foods while being mindful not to take too many buffalo wings. Apparently those are Chloe’s favorite and she’s not too keen on sharing. And if the woman is mad at me about something, I definitely don’t want to give her more ammunition.

Once we all have drinks and food, we settle around each other in the living room, where an easel is set up in front of Wes’s fireplace.

“I’m so excited!” Waverly exclaims, bouncing in her seat. “I can’t remember the last time I played Pictionary.”

“Pictionary?” I ask with a little too much irritation.

“Yes, Pictionary. Is that a problem?” Hayes asks and then smirks. “Oh, that’s right. Silas can’t draw.”

“I can draw just fine,” I fire back.

“Not from what I remember.” He starts laughing. “Remember that time in high school when Silas had to go up to the board in Spanish class and draw pictures of the vocabulary words, and he had to draw a palm tree?” Hayes says to Wes, and Wes instantly joins Hayes with his own laughter.

“Oh my God. What did he draw?” Shayla asks, fighting back her laughter.

“I drew a palm tree, but this child over here yelled out ejaculation in front of the entire class,” I reply, tossing my thumb in Hayes’s direction.

“Ejaculation? Why would you say that?” Waverly swats Hayes in the chest.

“Because it looked like a dick shooting a load,” he replies as Wes loses his composure on the other side of the room.

“I think we need to see what this drawing looked like to make a clear judgment,” Chloe interjects, causing me to turn in her direction.

“I’m not drawing shit. And you guys wonder why I don’t come around that often.”

“Oh, pull your panties out of your ass, Silas,” Hayes says. “It was funny. But hey, Waverly made sure to take all of the dirty words out of this game much to my displeasure, okay? So if you draw something that alludes to ejaculation, that’s all on you.”

“Jesus Christ,” I mutter, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Can we just play?”

“Yes. Let’s play. And maybe you need another drink, Silas,” Shayla adds, standing from the kitchen and fetching me another beer. I drain the one in my hands and then take the full one she offers me willingly. I don’t usually drink much, and two will probably be my limit, but something tells me I’m going to need them to get through this night, especially with the way Chloe’s gaze is landing on me right now.

I wish I knew what she was thinking, and why she keeps glaring in my direction. Is she just as irritated about being here as I am? Perhaps we can share in our misery of being surrounded by our happily coupled friends later after the game.

Wes and Shayla go first after we all roll a die to determine the order. Wes draws the word crayon, and Shayla guesses it way too quickly. Hayes and Waverly go up next, and she draws volleyball pretty easily. Since all the guys went first, I suggest the same. I draw the word from the basket and smirk once I see what’s on it, knowing I can easily draw an eel and Chloe can figure it out. She’s a smart woman.

I put the marker to the paper and begin to draw, turning to take in her reaction as I complete the eel’s body.

“You can’t seriously be drawing another penis, Silas.”

“I’m not!” I yell in exasperation, but she just rolls her eyes and urges me to continue. I make the ocean above the animal, which has Chloe successfully guessing the word with just a few seconds to spare.

“You had me worried there for a second about my partner,” she jokes, taking a sip of her water.

“I’m going to punch those guys for bringing that up.” I look down at the glass in her hands. “You know, I brought some of that wine you loved at my restaurant. Would you like a glass?”

She stares at the cup in her hands before lifting her eyes to mine. “Um, no thanks. I appreciate that though. I’m just gonna stick with water tonight.”

“You sure? What happened to always having fun?”

“You can have fun sober,” she counters, but not convincingly.

“I don’t think you even believed the words that came out of your mouth just now.”

She huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, that was a tough lie to sell. Seriously though, Silas. I’m good. Thanks for the offer though.” She smiles and then Shayla moves up to the easel. “But you’d better expand your drawing skills quickly because I’m not going to lose because you can’t draw anything but phallic shapes.” She winks at me and then watches Shayla begin to draw.

We all take a few more turns and the further along we get in the game, the more I feel myself relax. Even though I was fighting it, it was nice to come out. Chloe had me pegged from the beginning. I don’t have a lot of fun, and perhaps I need to change that, make more time for my friends, more time to do something besides work.

All of the teams are close in score and now it’s Chloe’s turn to go up. The past few rounds we’ve barely guessed each other’s words before the time ran out, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this evening, it’s that Chloe is highly competitive.

“Don’t let me down, Silas.” She points a finger at me as she removes the cap from her marker.

“You’re the one drawing here. We’re depending on your artistic skills to carry us right now.”

“Focus,” she warns before opening the piece of paper with the word she has to draw, and then her face goes flat. Her skin pales as she swallows hard and casts a glance at Shayla. They share a look and then she clears her throat and turns to face the paper. “Ready?”

“Yup.”

I watch her create her picture, having trouble with what she’s trying to depict. It looks like a person bending over holding their stomach.

“Stomach ache?”

She shakes her head and then draws another picture of someone throwing up in the toilet. “Vomiting?” Another shake of her head. “Stomach flu? Food poisoning? Tossing your cookies?” I shout just as the timer goes off.

“Fuck! What was it?” I sit back in my chair, pissed that I couldn’t find the right word. “Obviously it has to do with throwing up.”

“Hey, they lost! That means we win!” Hayes shouts as I wait for Chloe to say the answer. But she’s standing still, her eyes fixated on me.

“You guys didn’t win. We did,” Wes chimes in.

“No way. You and I both know that Shayla didn’t get that last word before the timer went off.”

“Yes, she did!”

“No, she didn’t…”

“Chloe!” I shout over the four of them arguing. “What was the word, damn it?”

“It was nausea, Silas! Which is exactly what I’ve been feeling for the past month ever since you knocked me up in Aruba!!!”

Silence descends upon the house as everyone turns to face Chloe and then casts their gaze over to me.

But I’m frozen, trying to absorb the words she just spoke, or more like yelled out loud in front of our friends.

“You’re… what?”

“I’m pregnant, Silas,” she states and then her feet carry her out of the room while everyone shifts their gaze to me.

Chloe’s pregnant? There’s no way. We used a condom. And that was what…over two months ago?

Hayes’s mouth is hanging open, Wes is shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking awkwardly on his heels, while Waverly and Shayla stare sympathetically at me. “Silas, you need to talk to her.” Shayla walks toward me, holding out her hand. But I can’t move, can’t think, can’t understand how this happened.

“What?”

The sound of the front door opening and closing startles us all. “She probably went outside for some fresh air, but you two need to talk.”

“You knew?”

Shayla nods, which has me launching out of my chair in fury. Wes steps in front of her, shielding her from me, even though I would never put a hand on her. But the fact that she knew before I did has my blood running wrathfully through me.

“Calm down, Silas. I know your head is spinning right now, but this isn’t Shayla’s fault.”

“I only just found out a few days ago when Chloe did,” Shayla interjects. “I’m her best friend, she was scared. But you need to speak to her now. Please.”

Glancing at Hayes and Waverly who remain quiet to the side, I take a deep breath and charge out of the room, down the hallway to the front door, opening the door expecting to see Chloe standing there—but she’s gone.

“Chloe?” I call out, and then the creak of metal has me turning to my right.

On a porch swing under the eaves of Wes’s house sits the woman who I haven’t been able to shake, swinging back and forth slowly while looking out into the yard of Wes’s home.

“I’m sorry I told you this way.” She shakes her head as I close the distance between us and stand in front of her. “I didn’t mean to, but everyone was yelling and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.”

“You’re seriously pregnant?” I ask, my chest so tight as I wait for her confirmation.

“Yes, Silas.”

“And you’re sure it’s mine?”

Her head swings in my direction and her eyes burn with anger. “Yes, it’s yours. I’m not a slut. I know who I’ve slept with.”

I hold my hands up, instantly regretting asking her that question. “I wasn’t accusing you. I just didn’t know if there could be someone else to consider.”

“You’re the last person I slept with.”

“But…we used a condom.”

“Yeah, well haven’t you seen Friends? Condoms are only 98% effective.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Her eyes grow wide and then she shakes her head. “Just great. The father of my child hasn’t seen the greatest television show of all time.”

“Chloe…aren’t you on the pill or something?”

“Yes, but that’s not 100% preventative either, Silas. And I know you’re not blaming me for this right now…”

“No…”

“It takes two, you know. And believe me, the last thing I need at this moment is to deal with this life-changing predicament.”

“But you’re keeping it?”

Her head twists up to mine again. “Yes. I am. And you can be as involved as you want, but I’m keeping this baby.” The determination in her eyes is the same grit I saw when she wanted me that first night in Vegas. And now I know better than to question her because it seems this woman always gets what she sets her mind to.

“I…shit.” I motion toward the empty side of the swing, asking for permission to sit with her. She nods and then I take a seat, leaning back on the swing and surveying the black sky out above us. “How…when…”

“Say that a few more times and you might be where I was a few days ago.”

“When did you know?”

She sighs and then speaks. “I felt off for a few weeks before Hayes and Waverly’s wedding, but then I actually got sick at the reception. That was my first indication something was going on.” I remember how pale she looked that day, and now it makes sense. “I took a test a few days later and it took no time for the lines to appear.”

“And how are you feeling now?”

“Oh, pregnancy is a fucking picnic,” she says sarcastically. “I’m constantly nauseous, throw up at least three times a day, and nothing sounds good…except for buffalo wings, apparently.”

Ah, so now her little outburst at Hayes makes more sense.

Shock continues to rest in my stomach as a barrage of questions assault my mind. “Have you…gone to the doctor?”

“Not yet. I have an appointment in a week though. Apparently, they won’t really see first time mom’s until you’re around twelve weeks.”

“I’m going with you,” I declare, which has her looking at me slightly confused.

“You are?”

“Yes.” I stand up tall and take in a deep breath, accepting the reality of the situation a little bit more. “You’re not doing this alone, Chloe. I know we don’t know each other very well, but this is my child too. I don’t run from my responsibilities. I’m not saying we have to be together, but I will be involved in my child’s life, and that starts now.”

She inhales deeply and then blows out a big breath of air. “Yeah. Okay.”

“And whatever you need, I’m here,” I say, sitting down again and reaching for her hand. “Cravings, medicine…just let me know and I’ll get it for you.”

She smiles softly. “That’s a pretty bold offer, Silas. I could easily take advantage of what you’re offering.”

“Well, just be careful not to abuse the privilege I’m giving you, and we’ll be fine.” I wink, which has her smiling wider. “I’m serious, Chloe. We’re in this together.”

She nods and then squeezes my hand. “Okay. Thank you, Silas. And sorry again for just shouting that out in front of everyone.”

“After getting to know you thus far, I wouldn’t have expected anything less.”

* * *

“Nonna?” I call out as I enter through the solid wooden door of the house I spent a large part of my childhood in. And most of the time, coming here gives me a sense of relief, loosening up the tightness in my chest that rests there every day. Unfortunately, tonight being here and knowing what I have to divulge to my grandmother is having the opposite effect.

“In the kitchen.”

I roll my eyes, knowing damn well that’s where I would have found her. Nonna is always at the stove. But God bless that woman and her culinary abilities. So many of her recipes have inspired dishes in our restaurants and have helped us make a name for ourselves with authentic Italian cuisine.

As I make my way through the living room and round the corner of the kitchen, my grandmother peers at me over her shoulder. “How’s my favorite grandson?”

“Uh, alright.”

“Just alright?” She turns the burner off on the stove and then spins to face me. The smell of basil and tomatoes hits my nose, which means she has to be making sauce. One glance around her at the massive pot on the stove and I have my answer.

“Yeah. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks,” I reply, trying to buy my time before I have to tell my grandmother that I’m having a baby with a woman I barely know, a task that has my stomach in knots as her face contorts with concern.

Given that my parents are dead, it makes sense that the person I’m most terrified of telling is the woman who practically raised me even when they were alive. My father ran the restaurant chain with my grandfather until he died suddenly of a heart attack when I was fourteen, and my mother was a very revered teacher in our community, so they were always busy. But they always made time for their children. They tried like hell to make every sports game and dance recital, we ate dinner together as a family as often as we could, and I never felt like my parents didn’t love us.

But my parents always fought or didn’t speak to each other at all. They were so busy taking care of us and working that they basically led two very separate lives. Our home wasn’t without love, but my sisters and I didn’t exactly see a healthy example of marriage growing up. And then when they went away one weekend trying to rekindle their romance, they died in a car accident.

So my nonna was the only constant I remember, especially after my nonno died. And at age sixteen, I became the only De Luca left to inherit the family business, which by that time was a multi-million dollar affair.

Because I wasn’t old enough to inherit it outright, the vice president, who also happened to be a friend of my dad’s, took over but almost ran it into the ground. Our profits plummeted and a few locations had to close. He was embezzling money from the company, neglecting to pay suppliers and employees and letting things slip through the cracks. The moment I was able to, I swept in and helped save the company I was raised to be proud of. Al Forno was a revered name known far and wide and I was not about to let that change.

It was challenging being in college and running a business at the same time, but having a degree was important to me, so I made it a point to finish. And when the company hit the billion-dollar net-worth mark a few years ago, I couldn’t help but beam with pride.

“Talk to me, mio nipote,” she says as she takes a few steps toward me. When she uses the Italian term for my grandson, I know she’s concerned.

I sigh in defeat. “Nonna…”

“Don’t run in the house!” My sister, Valentina, shouts before I can get another word out.

My nephew, Lorenzo, comes barreling into the kitchen, slamming into my legs and squeezing me hard. “Zio!”

“Enzo, my man!” I hoist him up on my hip and stare down into the dark brown eyes that most of the De Luca family sports. “You are getting way too big, sir.”

“I’m almost five. When I turn five I’ll be even bigger!”

“Is that how that works?” I smirk at him as my sister comes around the corner, exhaustion written all over her face.

“Yes. That’s what happens on your birthday. You grow up.”

“Lorenzo, please listen when I tell you not to run.”

“Is it really that big of a deal that he was excited to see his favorite uncle?” I ask.

“It is when he trips and falls and slams his head into the floor, causing him to lose teeth, or break his nose…”

“That’s being a little dramatic,” I mutter out of the side of my mouth to Lorenzo as he giggles.

“Easy for you to say, Mr. I-don’t-have-kids.”

Her words have my face falling flat and a bead of sweat forming on my brow. “Uh, you’re right. Enzo, don’t run if your mom says so.” I set him down on his feet and then step around my sister and Nonna in the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

I can feel the two of them stare at my back, but I refuse to look behind me right now.

“Mamma, can I watch cartoons?” Enzo says while pulling on Valentina’s dress.

“Sure, buddy. Let’s get you all set up so Mamma can help Nonna finish dinner.”

“Nonsense,” my grandmother says, waving Valentina off. “Go put your feet up. I can tell you’ve had a rough day.”

“The nausea is so bad.” Valentina cringes and then looks over at me. “I guess now’s the time to tell you you’re going to be an uncle again.”

“Aw, Valentina. That’s great.” I pull her in for a hug while my heart beats erratically. Would this be the perfect time to tell her she’s going to be an aunt? “Congratulations. I knew you were trying again.”

“Yup. It finally stuck. Took almost a year, but so far so good.” She holds up crossed fingers as Lorenzo pulls on her dress again.

“Come on, Mamma. Please!”

“Alright, alright.” She turns to face me once more. “We can catch up more once Oliver arrives.” Her husband operates a winery here in Santa Barbara and usually shows up a little later to our family dinners.

It’s been a few weeks since we’ve all come together, and even though I generally look forward to these dinners, tonight has me itching with anticipation.

“So, you gonna help me with the spaghetti?” Nonna asks, pulling my attention back to her.

“Si, Nonna. Of course.” She and I both know she doesn’t need help with the spaghetti and could probably cook half-a-dozen meals in her sleep. But this is her way of letting me process without talking. She’s always understood that I need time to gather my thoughts—and even though I’ve had two days to accept what Chloe told me on Friday night—putting that into words to admit to my family is still something that seems like one of the hardest moments of my life.

I fetch the pasta from the pantry and carefully place it in the pot of boiling water. She hums in approval while watching me, and then moves to dice vegetables for a salad.

“You never told me how Wes’s wedding was?” The knife makes a clicking noise against the cutting board as she slices through a cucumber.

“Oh. Well, it was…beautiful. He’s very happy, and his wife is a good fit for him.”

“Hmmm. Well, that man deserves happiness.”

“Yes he does.”

“So do you, Silas.”

I roll my eyes. “I like my life the way it is, Nonna.” Although I guess the truth of the matter is that’s all about to change.

“Yes, well I think you need some excitement. I can’t remember the last time I saw you truly living.” She tosses the cucumbers on top of the lettuce and then reaches for the ruby red tomato on the counter.

“I’m living. I get up every day, go to work, check in on my family.”

“Your family is living just fine without all of your phone calls.”

Sighing, I pick up the wooden spoon and stir the noodles around in the pot as they begin to soften. “So I’m not allowed to be worried about you all?”

“Not if it’s preventing you from living, Silas.” She turns to face me as I do the same to her. “There’s something on your mind. I can feel it. Your aura is heavy.”

Nonna and her auras. She swears she can feel energy, and she’s done it enough to me in my life to know when I’m having an internal battle.

“There is something on my mind, but it’s…it’s not just heavy, Nonna. It’s life-changing.”

“Tell me, mio nipote.”

“Tell her what?” Valentina asks as she enters the kitchen and moves to fill a glass with water from the fridge. When she finishes and turns to face me, I take a deep breath and then utter the words out loud for the first time to the two women who know me better than anyone else. My other sisters will be here later, but Valentina and Nonna have always been the two women in my family I’ve felt closest to.

“I’m…I’m gonna be a father.”

Valentina spits out the water in her mouth as Nonna’s jaw drops open. “I’m sorry…what did you just say?”

“I’m having a baby.”

“With a woman?” my sister asks disbelievingly.

“Yes, with a woman. Jesus,” I mutter, raking my hand through my hair and then turning back to the pasta.

“Silas, do not use the Lord’s name in vain.” Nonna comes up behind me and places her palm on my shoulder blade. “You took us by surprise, that’s the only reason for your sister’s outburst.” I look over my shoulder and see her shoot a death glare in Valentina’s direction. “How…when…”

“I think we both know how, Nonna,” Valentina interjects. “But I’d definitely like to know when.” She crosses her arms and then smirks in my direction.

“You’d better wipe that smirk off your face or I won’t tell you shit,” I fire back at her, now battling a level of irritation within that is overpowering.

“Silas,” my grandmother warns, pulling my gaze back to her. “Let’s sit.” She checks the pasta, turns off the burner and then pours two glasses of red wine for herself and me. Valentina grabs her water and then we take a seat at the table as cartoons blare in the living room where Lorenzo is currently occupied.

Valentina decides to go first. “When did you find out?”

“Friday night at Wes’s house.”

“So this woman knows your friends?”

“She’s Wes’s wife’s best friend.”

“Well, that makes this a little more complicated then,” she says before taking a drink.

“And what is her name?” Nonna chimes in.

“Chloe,” I reply while trying to fight the slight up-turn of my lips.

“You’re smiling,” my sister points out because of course she would catch that.

“I am not.”

“So I take it you at least like this woman?”

“Oh, she’s a lot to take in, but yes…I like her.”

“Well, that’s good,” Nonna agrees encouragingly.

“Or it makes this more complicated,” Valentina replies.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, do you have feelings for her?”

I huff out a laugh. “I barely know her.”

“Yes, but there’s a gleam in your eyes when you speak about her.”

“You’re just trying to find shit now.”

“Silas,” my grandmother interjects, “are you sure she’s pregnant?”

“I mean, that’s what she said. She has an appointment with her doctor some time in the next week. According to when it…happened, she should be about nine or ten weeks right now.”

Valentina looks up to the ceiling as if she’s calculating something. “Oh!” Her eyes light up. “So, this was a vacation fling turned sour then.”

“What?”

“Well, if she’s friends with Wes’s wife, I’m assuming you slept with her at the wedding?”

“It’s scary how analytical you are being about my sex life right now.”

She shrugs. “Just trying to do the math. So how does she feel? What does she want from you?”

I take a sip of my wine and then sigh as I hear the front door open and close. Valentina’s husband, Oliver, walks over to us at the table and kisses my sister on the top of her head. “Sorry I’m late.” His eyes veer over to me. “Silas…what’s going on, man? You look stressed.”

Valentina scoffs. “Stressed doesn’t even begin to cover it. Silas is gonna be a daddy.”

Oliver’s eyebrows jump. “Really? You? The guy who swears he’ll never get married or have a family?”

“With good reason,” I fire back, knowing that deep down that decision I made years ago was purposeful.

“Nonsense, is what it is. Now answer your sister’s question,” Nonna says, and I take another sip of my wine before continuing.

“Well, after she told me the other night, we talked for a bit. She’s been feeling pretty shitty—lots of morning sickness and nausea, light-headedness.”

“All normal.”

“And she’s sure about keeping it, so of course I’m going to step up. I’m not going to abandon my child, even though this is not what I had envisioned for my life.”

“Damn right, you’re not going to run away. You will help raise this baby, Silas,” Nonna declares.

“I’m aware, Nonna.”

“Don’t get sassy with me,” she balks and Valentina chuckles behind her hand.

“Yes ma’am.”

“And you will bring this woman to meet us.”

I cringe for a minute at that thought—not because I’m ashamed of Chloe—that’s not it at all. It’s just that Chloe is…well, how do you explain a woman like Chloe? I don’t know that there is anything I could say to prepare my family for her. Hell, I’m surprised half the time by the shit that comes out of that woman’s mouth.

“Uh…”

“You will bring this woman to meet us, Silas. And that’s that.” She stands from the table and heads back into the kitchen. “I want to know the woman that is carrying my great-grandchild, and she will be a part of this family.”

“Nonna has spoken,” Valentina whispers across the table while widening her eyes in amusement.

“I’m so glad you’re enjoying this.”

“Oh, there’s still so much to enjoy on your account, big brother. You have no idea what you’re in for.” She chuckles and then stands up to greet her husband with a kiss.

“She’s right, man. Good luck.”

Luck. Yup…I’ll be needing plenty of that.

* * *

“Hey. Sorry I’m a few minutes late. I was fighting traffic.” I lean down and plant a kiss on Chloe’s cheek as she sits in her chair in the waiting room of the OBGYN’s office.

My kiss must have taken her by surprise because she gives me a perplexed look. And to be honest, I’m not sure why I did that. It just felt natural, I guess.

“It’s okay. I’m still waiting, obviously.” She flips through the pages of a magazine in her hands, stopping on an advertisement for vodka. “God, I miss booze.”

“Why would they put an advertisement for booze in a parenting magazine?”

“Oh, this isn’t a parenting magazine. This is People,” she says, showing me the front cover. “And even if it were, I would assume parents are probably the leading consumers of alcohol.”

“Shouldn’t you be reading up on what we’re going to be expecting instead of the lives of celebrities?”

She leans back in her chair and there’s a fire in her eyes. “Are you telling me what I should be doing when I’m the one carrying this baby?”

“It was merely a suggestion, but I think we should both take this seriously, Chloe. I don’t know about you, but I have no idea what we’re in for. I mean, I have one nephew, but I merely held him for a few moments here and there when he was a baby, and now he’s about to be five. I don’t know how to change a diaper, what to expect after you deliver…”

She huffs and then crosses her arms. “I get what you’re saying, but you don’t need to boss me around.”

“You seemed to like it in Aruba,” I say, which has her head spinning toward me. I probably shouldn’t have brought that up, but my irritation with my lack of control in this situation has me sitting on edge and moodier than normal.

“Yeah, well I didn’t hear you complaining about sticking your dick in me either, Silas. And guess what, apparently your sperm have super powers to get through a condom and the pill.”

“Chloe Pierce?” The nurse calls out from the door that leads to the exam rooms in the back of the office.

“Time to face the music,” she says to me before standing and waltzing off, giving me a perfect view of her ass that I may have fantasized about a time or two since our night together. But right now all that shaking of her hips is reminding me of how stubborn this woman can be.

Great, now we’re annoyed with each other right before what is supposed to be a huge moment in our lives.

“Hello there. Can you step on the scale, please?” The nurse motions to the corner where the scale is positioned as she directs Chloe over there.

“With the way I’ve been throwing up, there’s no way I’ve put on weight.”

“I don’t know…I saw you put down almost an entire platter of buffalo wings the other night,” I say, which has Chloe glaring at me again.

“Don’t worry. You’re going to gain a bunch of weight through this process. No sense in worrying about it right now. Just eat whatever you can, but maybe throw in a vegetable or two.” The nurse winks at Chloe.

“Celery sticks with my buffalo wings is about all I can stomach right now.”

“That’s better than nothing.”

The nurse finishes taking her vitals, has her use the restroom to pee in a cup for a pregnancy test, and then leads us back to an exam room. I wait outside while Chloe undresses from the waist down, fidgeting in my suit. I reach up and yank on my tie, relieving some of the tension on my throat just as Chloe calls out that it’s okay for me to come back in.

“You nervous?” I ask her, mostly because I want to know I’m not the only one freaking out about this.

“A little. Mostly because this just makes it so real.”

“Agreed.” I walk around the room, reading various posters on the walls about childbirth and breastfeeding, reminding me of how much I don’t know about having a child. “Are you going to breastfeed?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want to do a natural childbirth, or do you want an epidural?”

“I don’t know, Silas!” she yells in frustration. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around this.”

I spin around and raise my voice right back at her. “Well, you need to figure it out, Chloe! There’s a lot to consider!”

“Don’t tell me…”

Knock, knock. The doctor pushes open the door after knocking, reading the tension between us. “Everything alright in here?” She shuts the door behind her and then moves over to her chair and the ultrasound monitor.

“Oh, just peachy. My baby daddy is just pointing out how unprepared I am for this,” Chloe says with a roll of her eyes.

“We are,” I correct her. “We are unprepared for this, Chloe. Remember, I’m in this with you and I don’t know anything as well.”

“Are you two not romantically involved?” Dr. Wilson asks.

“You’re looking at a one-night-stand turned surprise baby even with the use of protection, Doc,” Chloe declares as I shake my head. Seriously, what are the odds this would happen to us?

“Oh! Well, you’re not the first. Sometimes the human body is more powerful than contraception.”

“But to answer your question, no…we’re…not together. But we are planning to raise this baby together,” I add.

“Well, that’s exactly what I want to hear,” the doctor says. “Teamwork is essential in parenting. I’m Dr. Wilson, by the way.” She reaches out to shake my hand and then does the same to Chloe. “And I know that pregnancy and expecting a child can be overwhelming, but that’s what my staff and I are here for. We can help answer any questions you have, and help you prepare for the birth of your baby.” She opens up Chloe’s file and her eyes scan the paper. “Well, you are definitely pregnant. Your HCG levels don’t lie.”

Chloe snorts. “Neither does the vomiting and nausea.”

“I can give you something to help with that.” Dr. Wilson smiles and then puts the file on the nearby counter before reaching for a pair of rubber gloves. “Once we get your blood work back, we will be able to see a lot more, but for now I want you to start taking a prenatal vitamin every day and focus on getting some exercise and a well-balanced diet, as best you can.”

“I walk dogs for a living, so no worries about the exercise, Doc. But food is a challenge right now.”

She smiles again. “That’s great. Just listen to your body. A baby is going to change a lot about what you can and can’t do.”

“Don’t I know it,” Chloe mutters as Dr. Wilson takes a seat and pulls the ultrasound machine closer to the table that Chloe is lying down on.

“So, are you ready to see your baby?” she asks while putting a rubber condom on a giant wand that looks like a penis.

“What is that?” Chloe and I ask simultaneously.

“This is an ultrasound wand. Since you’re not far along, it’s better for us to do a vaginal ultrasound.” She squeezes lube on the wand and smears it over the rubber. Suddenly, I feel extremely uncomfortable and also kind of jealous of an inanimate object.

“Looks like this is the most action I’ll be getting for a while. Might as well enjoy it.” Chloe sighs and then lies back as the doctor gently reaches between her legs and inserts the wand.

I cringe at the thought of what that must feel like, but then Dr. Wilson clicks on the computer a few times and a black and white image pops up on the screen. Blurry white lines appear as she clicks again and moves things around, and suddenly a white speck materializes with a flicker in the center.

“Holy shit,” Chloe exclaims, sitting up on her elbows as I lean in closer as well.

“There’s your baby.” She does a few measurements with the computer program. “About eleven weeks along by my calculations. And everything looks good so far. Nice strong heartbeat.”

“Is that the heart?” Chloe asks, pointing at the flicker in the center of what I’m assuming is his or her chest.

“Yes. Would you like to hear it?”

“Please,” Chloe chokes out, and in a few seconds, a loud thumping noise rings out from the machine.

“Wow,” I say exasperatedly, not sure what to think at this moment as the sound of life echoes around us.

That’s my baby, and the sound of its heart. There’s a person inside of this woman that is part of me and part of her. It’s one thing to know that I’m about to be a father, but an entirely different feeling seeing my baby in black and white and hearing the evidence that it exists.

A sudden rush of pride rolls through me, followed by nerves.

This is truly happening. Will I be a good father? Can I be present like my parents were, but not fall short in the ways they did as well? Will Chloe and I be a team through this, or will she fight me every step of the way?

“What are you thinking?” she asks, pulling my attention to her glassy eyes. She looks so goddamn beautiful right now with the vulnerability she’s showing me.

“I’m thinking we made a baby, and I’m not sure what to think of that.”

She turns back to the monitor before replying, “Same. Although I do know one thing…”

“What’s that?” I ask through the emotion clogging my throat.

“That’s going to be one good-looking kid,” she says proudly, which has me grinning.

And then I chuckle. “Yeah. At least we can agree on that for now.”

I grab her hand and squeeze it, which brings her eyes back to mine. And for just a moment, I wonder what it would be like to raise this child with Chloe, not just together, but while being together—a notion that I’ve been forcing out of my mind since she and I crossed paths. I’ve never had to shove an idea out of my head so hard until her. There’s always been women I’ve been attracted to, but no one has caught my attention like Chloe has.

I wish I could just let myself live in the moment instead of constantly worrying about the consequences of letting people in—like you do in relationships—because then I have someone to lose. The pain of losing someone you love has prevented me from taking many chances in my life, but it’s safer that way. It’s that fear and resolve alone that prevents me from diving in and owning these feelings running through me.

My eyes dip down to her lips as I contemplate pressing mine to hers in this moment. Recalling what it felt like to kiss her before has my body reacting in ways that are probably inappropriate given our location and the circumstances. But I see her eyes dip to my mouth as well, so apparently I’m not the only one contemplating our next move.

Why does this woman draw me into her in not only an intellectual way, but also on a carnal level?

“Alright,” Dr. Wilson says, breaking through our moment and bringing us back to reality. “Like I said, everything looks good. We will see you in four weeks for your next appointment. In the meantime, here are some pamphlets to read, and remember to take care of yourself. Listen to your body, try to educate yourself on what’s to come, and if you have any concerns, feel free to contact the office.”

I stand tall once more and reach out to shake Dr. Wilson’s hand again once she removes the wand from Chloe, cleans her up, and removes her gloves. “Thank you. I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us.”

“Can I get a picture of the ultrasound?” Chloe asks almost desperately.

“Of course.” Dr. Wilson prints off two pictures, one for each of us. “See you in four weeks.”

With her parting words, she exits the room, leaving Chloe and I alone. Chloe sits up all the way on the table and heaves out a harsh breath. “Holy shit. This is… real.”

“Yup.” It’s all I can say as my mind becomes even more overwhelmed.

“So, I should probably put my pants back on.”

“Oh. Right. I’ll give you some privacy.” I turn to leave, but her saying my name has me pausing.

“Silas?”

“Yeah?” I ask, twisting back around to face her.

“Thank you for being here.” She fiddles with her hands in her lap.

“I’ll always be here, Chloe. I don’t want you to ever think otherwise, alright? I know this is a lot to take in, but I want our child to know that they are loved, even if we aren’t…together.”

“Same. That’s…that’s really important to me.” Her eyes flick up from her lap and give me a glimpse into her soul. There’s a chip there, and I’m surprised I didn’t see it before—a chink in her armor. You can only see it when the light hits the metal just right, but she’s showing it to me right now without coming right out and admitting it.

“We’re going to get through this.”

“I think so too,” she replies, and then her eyes widen. She leaps off the table and takes a few steps to the trash can, where I watch her empty her stomach, or at least dry heave over the container.

I rush over, smoothing her back as she calms after throwing up whatever she can.

“Ugh,” she says when she stands up again, brushing her wild curls from her face. “I hope that stops soon.”

“We probably should have asked the doctor that, huh?”

“Probably. All I know is this kid better be really fucking cute to have me throwing up like this.”

I can’t help but laugh. “I’m sure it will be. And just think, when he or she is older, we can tell them all about how you threw up in the doctor’s office after your first appointment.”

“I’m going to keep a list of all the instances that this child is already torturing me and use it for blackmail/leverage for later.”

“Sounds like a plan.” I kiss her on the forehead again and then move to leave the room. When I shut the door, I lean up against it, resting my head on the wood behind me.

“I’m going to be a dad,” I say out loud, but barely at a whisper in case anyone is around me.

I’m going to be a dad. And I’m attracted to my baby’s mother.