Jax by E. M. Moore

19

Waking up in Jax’s arms like old times feels like a dream. I snuggle into his side, his bulking muscles poking into me. At some point, his shirt came off and my fingers found his abs, resting in the deep crevices.

His chest rises and falls slowly, a sure sign that he’s still sleeping. I lie where I am, breathing in his scent that’s so uniquely him. It’s been a long time since I’ve woken up next to someone who I actually wanted. I try not to move. If I wake him, I fear the spell will be broken.

My fingers have minds of their own though. They trail down past his navel, meeting the waistband of his joggers. They find their way under, skimming over his taut skin. It’s as if their heat-seeking missiles and there’s only one thing on their mind. Jax’s breath quickens. His heart rate picks up, thrumming under my ear. My fingers have dove knuckle-deep under his pants when he traps them with his own.

I frown as he pulls my hand free from his pants and places it on his chest. I open my mouth to ask him what’s wrong when a loud knock shakes the door. “Family meeting time, slackers. Get the fuck up.”

Jax reaches for the pillow beneath his head and throws it. After hitting the door, it lands unceremoniously on the hardwood floor without making a single sound. He sighs. “I should’ve threw the lamp, I guess.”

I chuckle, the sound breaking the awkwardness in the air. He still has a tight hold on my fingers like he’s scared to let them go.

“I don’t hear those feet hitting the floor!” Finn yells.

I laugh out loud, finally bringing my head back so I can peer up at Jax. “Didn’t your dad used to say that?”

“Yes,” Jax grumbles. Louder, he calls out, “Coming, fuckhead.”

“Love you too, bro.” Finny’s answer is muffled as it comes up through the floorboards.

Jax extracts himself from me and swings his feet over the side of the bed. His back hunches over as he runs his hands through his hair. In a lot of ways, I’m staring at the same guy who used to be my everything. However, this version of Jax has changed a little—and not only in physical appearances. Growing up gives you the ability to sit back, watch, and understand. Before, it was Jax and me. We were both so self-centered. Our lives practically revolved around the other, which is probably why we eventually got found out. One of K’s men spotted us and turned us in. I’d broken the second most important rule: Other men were off-limits.

Jax and I have both matured. We’re still wrapped up in each other, but our lives are entwined with a bunch of prickly, thorny shit that needs to be cut away before we can grow free again.

“You’re so different,” I whisper, watching the muscles of his back ripple.

He looks over his shoulder at me. “You’re sadder.” I go to turn away but he reaches back to grab my chin. He makes me look at him while he leans on the bed to face me. “You’re hardened. Before, even though life was shit, you still had life in your eyes. It’s barely there anymore. That fucker squashed it.”

“He wasn’t the only thing that squashed it.” I reach up, wrapping my fingers around his forearm. “What I did to you set me on a spiral. I was weak. Lost. I was practically begging for people to take advantage of me.”

“The past is the fucking past.”

I search his gaze, hoping he’s telling the truth. I can tell he wants to mean it, I’m just not sure if he fully does yet. Who forgives someone for sending them to jail?

“Which is why,” he continues, “I won’t be touching you again until you really want it. You’re not going to fuck me just because you want to make it up to me. Or because I want to punish you. We’ve got shit to sort through first.” The mattress groans as he gets to his feet.

I blink at him. “You actually want to sort through some of this shit? You think it’s worth it?”

I don’t know why I keep coming back to the bare roots. We’re two people who love each other but far too many barriers separate us. It’s as if life won’t let us be together. Romeo and Juliet-esque. The saddest story ever. Doomed before it even began.

“There’s one thing I’ve always been clear on…” Jax says as he moves around the side of the bed. “...You’ve always been worth it. Now let’s get downstairs before Finn has a fit.”

Jax throws a shirt over his head, and his footsteps creak the stairs as he goes down. I pull myself up, gazing at the clothes I slept in last night. Luckily, Leenie must have left the bags of clothes we bought at the thrift store right outside the bedroom door. I sort through them and actually pull on a pair of jeans that fit me and a shirt that doesn’t scream either whore or homeless person.

Running my fingers through my hair, I walk down the stairs feeling a whole hell of a lot like myself. Dishes clank in the kitchen, so I walk that way until I find Jax already sitting at the small table in the dining room with a bowl of oatmeal. He nudges a similar bowl toward me. Leenie sees the gesture and laughs. “Don’t worry, I have sugar.”

She sets a small, glass canister filled with white granules on the table but Jax places his palm over top of the bowl. “Let her try it without. Maybe her palette is more refined than yours.”

“My palette is just fine, thank you very much,” she retorts. “It’s not my fault you eat Play-Doh and call it a meal.”

When Jax’s gaze swings to me, I know I’ll choke the oatmeal down no matter what I think about the taste. It can’t be the worst thing I’ve eaten in the last couple of years. You don’t even know the true horror of eating shit food unless you’ve gone dumpster diving. My stomach is practically solid steel from those experiences.

I swallow a heaping spoonful. Leenie and Jax stare at me, waiting for my reaction. It’s like some sort of showdown between them. Honestly, it’s fine. Tastes good, even. “Sorry, Leenie. I like it.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, right. You’re only saying that because you two are fucking.”

“Ew,” Finn whines from the sink.

“We’re not fucking,” Jax says, voice like thunder. The whole mood in the kitchen shifts. Whether he notices it or not, he goes back to eating his oatmeal like it’s his only job for today. After a few minutes go by, Finn and Leenie join us at the table. Jax sets his finished bowl aside. “So, what’s the family meeting about?”

“Oh, let’s see,” Finn says sarcastically. “What else could it be about?” He tracks his gaze toward me. “We have to figure out what we’re going to do.”

“I’ve got it handled,” Jax shrugs. “If he tries to touch her, I’ll kill him.”

Finn blinks at his brother. He moves his gaze to me then back to him. Leenie has to cut in. “I don’t think you’re the killing type, Jax. We should get my brother involved.”

I laugh at that. “The junior gang banger? No offense but he didn’t look like much of a killer either. Not that anyone needs to be killed,” I add in.

Leenie laughs. She laughs so hard she grips the table in front of her. Both Jax and Finn share amused glances too. I stare at all of them until Leenie wipes tears from her eyes. “I’m not going to tell him you said that even though it would be funny as hell if I did. I mean, funny for me. Not for you.”

I continue glaring at the three of them. It’s evident I’m missing something big. Finn’s full-on smiling, and Jax has a smirk. The latter sighs though. “We’re not bringing your brother into this.”

“I know you hate that he helps but you have to admit, he does help.”

Jax rolls his eyes in response.

I lean back in my chair and fold my arms. “Why are we talking about some low-level gang guy? He won’t be able to help.”

Leenie smiles. “Cole’s not just a Dragon, he’s the Dragon.”

My brows pinch together. “He’s...?”

“The leader of the Dragons,” Finn states. “All Leenie has to do is point at someone, and he’ll kill them. The guy’s ruthless and loves his sister more than anything.”

I try to pick my jaw off the table. That guy? I met the leader of the Dragons in this house? Unbelievable.

Jax’s lips thin. “We don’t need Cole’s help.”

“Stop being dumb,” Finn argues.

“I’m handling it,” Jax growls, tossing his spoon back into his empty bowl. “Gang leaders have never helped anyone in this house.” He blinks at me before looking away. “Plus, killing Psycho isn’t nearly what he deserves. He needs to suffer first.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged,” Leenie offers almost hesitantly. It’s so weird to hear her talk like that.

I tilt my head. “Your brother’s really the leader of the Dragons?” I gasp as a realization hits me. “Shit. He took K down?”

“Well, he had a little help,” Leenie says, placing her hand on Finn’s shoulder. “But yes, he has complete and utter control over the Dragons. You’re not friendless, Sadie.”

“So that’s how...” I gaze between the two brothers, several puzzle pieces clicking into place. “I figured you had to pay the Dragons to keep your businesses running in their territory like K made people do, but you’ve got an in. Smart move.”

“It’s not an in,” Finn says defensively. “I love Leenie.”

My chest restricts. Finn’s stare practically shrivels me. “I’m sorry, Finny. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“He knows you didn’t,” Leenie says, squeezing her boyfriend’s shoulder.

Finn looks away, and for a few seconds, he reminds me of the little boy he was when I left. It’s a sign that I don’t need to only fix things with Jax. I need to fix things with Finn, too. I took his brother away from him for a while. A brother he always looked up to. I smeared his name and put him in prison. He couldn’t have got out of that unscathed.

Again, the mountains Jax and I have to climb are filled with too many traps.

I push those thoughts away and focus on how to keep these guys out of Psycho’s path. I’m happy they have someone like Leenie’s brother on their side. That’ll make things easier.

“We have to protect the gym,” Jax says. “I say we tell the guys what happened to Clive so if anyone else is thinking that the grass looks greener over there, they won’t make the same mistake.”

“That’s a given,” Finn replies. “But what about this Psycho guy? We’re on his radar.”

Jax’s gaze flicks to me. “I haven’t figured that one out yet. The way I see it, he’ll probably come for Sadie...at least for updates. She’s not going back to him though.”

“He won’t let me stay here,” I whisper. “I’ve been here long enough already. He’ll want something soon, and if I don’t follow through, there will be consequences. That’s how he operates. You know the streets, Jax. He’ll come for me here, or follow me somewhere else, if I don’t go back. I’m not bringing you into my shit again.”

“Except this time, I have a say in what happens,” Jax argues. “And my say is that your ass is staying here. Let him fucking come for you.”

I wrap my arms around myself. It’s evident he thinks Psycho is only a nuisance, someone he can take down easily. But you don’t become the mastermind of a bunch of blind followers without having some sway. “Take him seriously. Please,” I plead. “He can get people to do whatever he says. Trust me. He’s scary.”

Jax reaches out the hand with the knuckles that spell out hope and places it over mine. With that one word staring back at me, my stomach calms a little. He squeezes my fingers, and I gaze into welcoming eyes for the first time. He draws a sigh out of me but we’re interrupted by the doorbell.

All three of them whip out their phones, but Leenie is the first to bring up the camera footage. Her mouth drops. “What the fuck? Which one of you did this?” She stares accusingly at the two brothers.

Finn peers at Jax, and Leenie tracks his gaze until all of us are staring at the big man.

Her shoulders droop. “You called my brother? I thought you didn’t want him involved.”

I squint at the form on Leenie’s phone screen. The guy at the door doesn’t look like Cole. “He’s here only for protection. For you and Sadie.”

Leenie grumbles. “Of course. And I doubt you told him the truth. What are we worried about? A paper cut?”

Jax stands and shrugs. “I told him we had shady shit go down at the Ring and a security detail was needed for precaution. That’s all.”

Leenie gets up from the table, her chair rubbing against the tile. She goes to the door, and I look to them for an explanation.

“She doesn’t like to be treated like a fragile doll,” Finn supplies.

Can’t blame her.

In the next few seconds, a big guy fills the door frame. He rivals Jax in stature. A Dragon tattoo peeks above the collar of his black shirt. “Ninja. Nice to meet you.”

Leenie mumbles something under her breath and then says, “Yeah, this is only my brother’s number one security guy…for such a small problem.”

Ninja smiles, his chiseled jaw tight. “You know how your brother likes to be thorough.”

Finn’s brows pull together. “I thought Dempsey was the top security guy?”

The guard scoffs, and Leenie explains that the other guy is number two. Apparently, the last time they needed help, Ninja was preoccupied with Cole on other important business.

It seems like there’s a story there but no one offers to share.

“It’s for the best,” Finn says, tangling his fingers with Leenie’s.

“Yep. You guys continue what you always do, and Sadie and I will be here cooking dinner and keeping house.”

“That’s the spirit,” Finn grins.

She narrows her gaze at him but melts when Finn gives her an apologetic look. When Jax and Finn leave to go to Elite Boxing, Leenie closes the front door a little too hard and continues to slam things around the house for several minutes while Ninja takes up residence near the front door.

Well, this ought to be fun.