Twist Me by Mia Monroe

Grey

He’s coming. I did it. I asked, and he’s coming.

I hurry around my apartment, straightening things I already straightened, but what else am I supposed to do until he gets here? Oh, wait. I should call Mac and tell him what I did. He won’t fucking believe it. That’ll kill some time.

I grab my phone and settle on the couch my parents bought me when I got my own place. It’s the only gift I would take, and it’s definitely the nicest thing in here, but part of me moving out and doing my own thing was to learn some independence.

My leg bounces as I dial Mac’s number. He answers after three rings.

“Hey, you! What’s going on?”

“Hey, Mac. You busy?”

“No. I was on the patio watering my herb garden, but I’m done now. You good?”

“Yeah, actually. Really good. You won’t believe how good.”

“Did you win the lottery? Oh, wait, you weirdly don’t care about money.”

I laugh. “I care about money. I just don’t care about hoarding vast amounts of it. A simple life is good enough for me.”

“Is that because you grew up having money? Maybe that’s it.”

“No. I understand the value of money and the comforts and resources it can give you, but I also see the sacrifice that is usually required to get a lot of it. My dad wasn’t around much when I was growing up because he was working.”

“Yeah, that’s fair. Anyway, this isn’t about money. What is it about?”

“Mitsu. I invited him over tonight.”

“No way! You did? That’s awesome. Wait. Not to be a buzzkill, but he’s been there before.”

“Because he brought me home drunk. This is sober me inviting him.”

“Ooh, totally different. You’re right. How did you get so brave?”

I bite my bottom lip, holding back a giggle. “Well. It was easy after the past week.”

“And…what happened?”

“Short story. I’m not a virgin anymore. I’m not a rope virgin anymore either.”

“Shut the front door. I need the long story. Spill it, Grey.”

Laughing, I launch into the details, telling him everything from the ropes to the sex to the emotional breakthrough I had.

“This is epic shit, Grey. Epic. How do you feel?”

“Like a new man. I feel like I was able to release a lot of stuff that was holding me back. I mean, the Grey from a few months ago would’ve never had enough nerve to call and invite him over.”

“I am so fucking proud of you. This is huge. He must be really special.”

My stomach flips. “He is. You know how I was scared that we wouldn't have anything in common?”

“Yeah.”

“When we’re together, we just make sense. He gets me on a deep level. All the dumb things I was worried about like music and TV shows don’t matter at all.”

“I’m happy for you. Obviously, you shared your history with him?”

“Obviously, yeah. You know how I am about it. I’m proud of who I am. Proud of my body, but it’s still scary. I just had this sense that he wouldn’t reject me. He’s the man I’ve been waiting for to finally cross that off my list.”

“And it was worth it?”

“Mac. It was mind blowing. He treated me and my body like a priceless work of art. He’s dirty and rough, and sexy as fuck, but manages to be caring and thoughtful during it all. It was perfect.”

“Dreamy sigh,” he says in a wistful voice. “Gah, I love this for you. You deserve this kind of love, Grey.”

“Well, now, no one said anything about love.”

“That’s not what you’re feeling?”

I exhale, dragging my fingers through my hair and drawing my knees up to my chest. “How would I know? I don’t have any experience with this. Is it just wanting to be with someone all the time?”

“Um, it’s literally everything that came out of your mouth the last twenty minutes. He gets you. Your connection is deep. You felt safe telling him. You gave him your damn V-card, Grey. Do you need a fucking billboard?”

A wave of heat rushes me. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“What if he does?”

“Um…”

“Then you get to be in a relationship with an awesome guy.”

“Right.” I exhale. “I’ve never been in a relationship with an awesome guy. Any guy, really.”

“Yeah, but until this past week you’d never had sex or been tied up Shibari style, and both were great, right?”

“Good point.”

“Dig deep in that bravery well again and tell him. I have a feeling he’s going to be into it.”

I nod, smiling. “I’ll try. Thanks, Mac.”

“Tell me what happens.”

“I will.”

After hanging up with Mac, I check the clock again. He’ll be here soon. I walk into the kitchen and pour a glass of wine, sipping it slowly to calm my nerves. After a minute of that, I walk back to my bathroom to check my reflection again. My hair is tied up in a messy bun, and I chose a slouchy T-shirt with loose-fitting pants. I was going for comfort and a casual vibe like Mitsu always has. Not to mention I can feel where he was with every movement I make today. A smile pulls at my lips with that last thought. I glance down at my slightly bruised ankles, then tug my pants down to see the same on my hips. I never thought I would find my own bruised flesh exciting, but I’m discovering lots of things lately.

The doorbell rings and a ping of nervous energy hits my chest. Why the fuck am I so nervous? I exhale slowly as I walk to the door. I know why. I want him to like my place. I want him to enjoy my company as much as I enjoy his. I want him to…love me. Wow, okay. I need to chill the fuck out.

Opening the door, I smile as soon as my eyes settle on him. His hair is also up, but instead of his usual linen pants and no shirt, he’s wearing a nice black sweater and jeans. My eyes shoot to his feet to see the black combat style boots he wore the last time we went to the club.

“God you’re hot.”

Mitsu chuckles, slightly bowing his head. “Well, thank you. You are delectable as always.”

“Delectable?” I stand to the side to let him pass. “That’s a good one.”

“Accurate.” Once inside, he leans in and kisses my cheek. “I’m happy to see you.”

“Same. Thanks for coming.”

Mitsu’s gaze shifts around my apartment. It’s not a huge space, but I like it enough.

“I like your space. It’s nice. Uncluttered.”

I laugh softly. “I figured you might like that. Want some wine?”

“Please.”

I turn toward the kitchen, but Mitsu grabs me around the waist from behind and walks with me, kissing my neck. I never thought I could get to this place when another person’s touch felt grounding, soothing, desirable to me.

In the kitchen I grab another wine glass and pour some in his, handing it to him before lifting my abandoned glass. We clink, and then Mitsu takes a sip.

“Are you hungry? I can order something.”

“I’m neutral. I’ll eat if you’re hungry.”

“Oh, I’m okay, actually. Had a big lunch today.”

“What did you eat?” Mitsu asks, leaning against the counter, one arm resting across his stomach and supporting his bent elbow as he cradles the wine glass.

I find myself staring at him, eating up every perfect detail of his appearance. He carries himself like his looks don’t matter; as if he’s unaware of his presence, his mythical beauty, his enticing allure. Heated memories tug at me, a wave of burning desire heading straight for my dick as last night plays like a highlight reel in my mind. The man is absolutely fucking stunning.

“Grey? You okay?”

I blink hard. “Um. Yes. You asked me something?”

“Just what you had for lunch. Something on your mind?”

“You. Honestly, I was just admiring you.”

“Oh, well, thank you.”

I chuckle, pulling my gaze away and taking another sip of wine. “Um, we had tacos. I went with Luca and Apollo.”

“That’s good.”

We’re silent for a few seconds. “What do you want to do tonight? We could watch a movie or talk. Whatever.”

“What about Doctor Who?”

“Oh, we don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

“Okay. Yeah, let’s do that.” I grab the bottle of wine and we head into the living room. Mitsu settles on the couch next to me. I turn on the TV, flipping to my recorded shows while heavily distracted by Mitsu’s fingers tickling the back of my neck.

I turn on the first episode in my favorite doctor’s season and then lean into Mitsu’s body. He wraps his arm around me and kisses my temple.

Two hours and a bottle of wine later, the credits start to roll on the episode we just finished. My heart is full of so many things right now. How comfortable our togetherness is. How good his gentle affection feels. I’m so happy.

“What did you think?”

“I loved it,” Mitsu says. “Really interesting. I feel like I’ve been missing out. Thanks for explaining things to me. I hope it wasn’t annoying.”

“First of all, talking about Doctor Who and converting someone to the fandom is like my crack.”

Mitsu laughs.

“I’m just glad you liked it.”

“Very much. Mostly, I just enjoy you. This.”

“This?”

“Us.”

“I feel the same way. More wine? We can talk a little unless you have to leave or something?”

“I have no plans but to be here with you.”

“Okay. I’ll get the wine.”

“I’ll be right here.”

I pull myself from the couch, giving my legs a second to stop shaking and carry me the short distance to the kitchen. I pull another bottle of wine down, filled with so much happiness I feel like it could spill over.

When I walk out again, Mitsu is simply leaning back on the couch, his long arms stretched across the back, one leg crossed over the other. I wonder if he’ll stay the night. Will he make love to me again? A memory swirls in my brain, reminding me how sore my ass felt in the shower this morning. But I would do it again if he wanted to.

“I’m back.” I smile, sitting next to him.

“I missed you.”

“I was gone for two minutes.”

“But you were gone.” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “I find myself always yearning for you when you’re not near.”

“That’s cool.” I crinkle my brow. “Better than cool. It’s amazing actually.”

He laughs softly. “It is amazing.”

I make quick work of the cork, refilling our glasses. We sip our wine, silently, just gazing into each other’s eyes. The pull between us feels like Mitsu’s ropes, tugging and twisting, releasing all fears and insecurities, filling the space with a peacefulness I’ve never experienced.

“I love you.”

The words are out of my mouth before my brain realizes their presence. Instead of fear or panic at voicing them, I feel light. Free.

“I love you too,” Mitsu replies simply, smiling and making my heart leap in my chest.

“Awesome.”

He chuckles. “It is indeed. Thank you for telling me. I wasn’t sure when the time was right.”

“You’ve thought about it?”

“I have.”

“Have you been in love before?”

“No, Grey, I haven’t. I’ve often wondered if I would ever feel that. It’s not a feeling I could have imagined. It’s far beyond my capacity. It’s...all consuming. You are in my every thought. When you are not with me, a part of me is gone. When you are with me, my heart is so full it could burst wide open.”

“You are so poetic. I’m not sure how to express myself at your level.”

“You don’t have to, my sweet. I love you as you are, as you come. You express yourself your way, and it speaks to my soul.” He lifts my hand and presses it to his chest where his heart is. “You are in me, Grey. I am no longer just myself. You have seeped into my veins and my heart beats in time with yours. I give myself to you completely.”

I stare at him in disbelief; he’s real, he loves me. He’s mine.

“Are you mine, Grey? Completely?”

“Completely.” Smiling, I set my glass down. “Will you come to bed with me?”

“Absolutely.”

I stand, pulling Mitsu gently by his hand, and we walk, hands still entwined, to my bedroom. Mitsu sits on the edge of my bed, smiling at me.

“The last time I was in this room, you were very drunk.”

I cringe. “That was so embarrassing.” I lean on the wall across from him. “I was convinced I blew any chance with you after the first time. It was immature, and you didn’t make a move on me at all.”

“It wasn’t immature. It was a fun night out, and it’s easy for alcohol to catch up on us.” He smiles. “I didn’t make a move on you because your consent was compromised. I also wasn’t sure what you were feeling. Our talks that night and other nights were comfortable, friendly, but I felt your resistance.”

I nod. “I thought you were way out of my reach. I was afraid of embarrassing myself with an unrequited crush.”

Mitsu chuckles. “Sounds like we should’ve had a talk sooner. I admired you the moment I saw you. You are truly stunning and, yes, my attraction was based on your looks, but upon talking to you, there was just something that drew me in. Something I wanted more of. Something missing from me.”

“I’ve never really believed in things like soulmates before. I thought you just sort of found someone who worked well enough. You know, like if you didn’t fight and maybe you liked the same movies or music, then it could work. I didn’t know it could be so magical.” I rub my forehead. “I didn’t know another person could become part of you, and…” I pause, letting my thoughts collect. “I didn’t know love could replace fear. I didn’t know it could make you feel immortal. Love can fix things you didn’t know were broken. The biggest surprise for me is learning that love can make you better than you are. Kinder, happier, calmer. It can make you see a future you never allowed for yourself.” I laugh softly, blinking through teary eyes. “Love is amazing.”

“It is truly amazing. My favorite part is that we have learned this lesson together. You have been my teacher, Grey, and I, your willing student.”

I smile, brushing tears away. “Same.” I walk to him, stepping between his legs, and as he wraps his arms around my waist, I play with his hair. “Want to see my toys?”

“Fuck yes.”

I laugh, kissing his forehead. “I love when you cuss.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re this super-chill Shibari master who speaks in poetry, but then, all of a sudden, here comes an unexpected F-bomb. It’s a cool dynamic.”

“All words can be poetry if you want them to be.” He tugs me slightly closer and kisses the underside of my chin. “For example: fuck as a verb, between you and I, is nothing but poetry.”

I pull back enough to bend and kiss his lips.

“You’re an artist, Mitsu.”

“And you are my muse.”