Twist Me by Mia Monroe
Grey
My lips are still tingling from that kiss. I lift my wine glass, taking a large gulp to calm the raging hormones soaring through me right now. I cannot tear my clothes off and beg him to fuck me as compelling a thought as that is right now. No, I have to do this the right way, and that means building the relationship slowly and intentionally. The next step will be a monumental one.
“Now tell me what you do for fun,” Mitsu says.
“Mostly just watch TV. Sometimes I go out with the guys. You know that. That’s how we met.”
“Yes. Do you have a favorite show?”
I scrunch my nose. “If I tell you what it is, you’ll find out what a total nerd I am under my hip exterior.”
“Ah. I’ve always had a fondness for nerds.” He smirks. “Call it a fetish if you will.”
I’d love to be his fetish. “I don’t know. You say that now.”
“What will it take to get it out of you? A tickle fest?”
I narrow my eyes. “Don’t you dare.”
“Raspberries on the belly?”
“What the hell is that?”
He lifts my arm and presses his lips to it, making a funny noise that vibrates my skin. “That.”
“Those are called raspberries?”
“Yes. Want more?”
“No,” I answer, laughing.
“Hmm. What is your brand of torture? Head massage until you dissolve like putty in my hands, spilling all your secrets.”
I should totally say yes to that one. “No. I’ll tell you under one condition.”
“State your demands.”
“You can’t make fun of me.”
Mitsu’s smile fades as his eyes soften. “Grey, I would never make fun of something that brings you joy. I can promise you that.”
There go those damn butterflies in my stomach again. “Okay then.” I tilt my head. “I’m a Whovian.”
Mitsu’s face stays neutral. “I don’t know what that is.”
My eyes nearly pop from my face. “You’ve never heard of Doctor Who?”
“Never. Is it popular? I’m very out of touch with current pop culture.”
“Doctor Who has been around since 1963.”
“Mm, probably the last time I watched television.”
“Stop it. You’re not that old.”
He smiles. “Tell me about the show.”
“Okay, well, the current doctor is a woman. She’s the first ever. It’s always been men, so that was cool. It’s essentially time travel.” I spend the next twenty minutes going full on geek, telling Mitsu about Time Lords and the TARDIS, about conventions and the fandom. He listens intently as if he cares about it as much as I do, but I think he’s just being nice to me. Still, he opened the door, so I’m stepping through it. “It has a huge fan base. Like Harry Potter or Marvel or Star Wars. I even have a tattoo.” I pull up my sleeve to show him the tattoo on my forearm.
“Explain it to me.”
“This is a TARDIS.” I point to the blue box with swirls of blue watercolor around it. “Here is the sonic screwdriver specific to my favorite doctor.”
“Who is?”
“David Tennant. He’s the tenth doctor, and just so perfect. He’s this balance between nerdy and flirty. Oh, and here’s the Circular Gallifreyan. It’s the language of the Time Lords. And here, in the mist, allons-y.”
“And that means?”
“Let’s go.”
“Your passion for it is evident. Where can I watch it?”
“Because you want to or for me?”
“Both. I want to watch it so I can understand it. I want to watch it because it makes you happy. It does actually sound interesting. I love the idea of time travel. I’ve always liked the idea of being able to travel to a time to see history with your own eyes.”
“What about the future? Would you go there if you could?”
“I don’t think I would. Life is surprising, sometimes sad, but I don’t think I’d like knowing what’s to come before I get to it. I know there is joy and pleasure in my future, maybe unpleasant things too, but I want to live my life each day as it comes. I embrace each day because I don’t know how many there will be. The future will come when it’s ready.”
I nod, smiling. “When I was younger, I wanted to jump ahead five years. Maybe ten. I wanted to see what I would be like as an adult.”
“Are you surprised?”
“Absolutely.”
“Do you like where you landed?”
“I do. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
Mitsu brushes his fingers over mine. “Then the time machine wasn’t needed. You got where you were supposed to be without it.”
“Yeah.”
“And I’m thankful your future included me. I hope it always will.”
“Me too.” God, so fucking much.
“Next weekend it’s supposed to rain a lot. What would you say to introducing me to Doctor Who?”
I feel giddy, like a kid, as I literally bounce up and down on my butt. “I’d love to. My TV is so small though. Maybe I can rent one.”
“I have one. I keep it in the spare room. I pull it out occasionally for viewing events.”
“Like what?”
“I like old movies. Foreign films. Sometimes I’m in the mood.”
“Cool. We’ll watch some Doctor Who and you can show me a favorite movie. Sound like a plan?”
“It sounds perfect.”
* * *
“Hey,” Mac says, sliding into the booth across from me. “Traffic. Sorry.”
“It’s cool. I always forget this part of town is rough in the morning.”
“It is, but I’ll never turn down a pancake breakfast date with you.” He pours himself a glass of orange juice from the carafe on our table. “How are you?”
“Good. I have Mitsu updates.”
“Good, I was hoping you did. I have updates too.”
He sings his words which always makes me smile. “Yeah? What about?”
“Two things. A potential promotion at work and a second date.” He winks at me. “But you first. I’m dying to know about Mitsu.”
I proceed to tell Mac about everything that happened, from the dinner and meditating to the upcoming Doctor Who marathon, saving the best for last. “And then he kissed me.”
Mac squeals as he douses his pancakes with an obscene amount of syrup. “How was it?”
“Fucking amazing. I almost tore my clothes off.”
His eyes widen as he grins. “Oh my god. You’re so giving it up to him.”
“Maybe. He doesn’t know about me though.”
“You’ll tell him when you’re ready.”
“I will. I think he’ll be cool with it.”
“I do too. I have a really good feeling about this. I get to be the best man, right?”
I roll my eyes. “What are you even talking about?”
“Wedding,” he says, muffled, his mouth full of pancakes. “Duh.”
“Getting way ahead of ourselves. Besides, you know how I feel about that.”
“I think marriage is romantic. Vowing to commit your entire life to someone is the ultimate act of love.”
“To you. I think it’s a societal construct made millions of years ago for child production and political alliances. Most marriages back then were the furthest thing from love.”
Mac gives me a hard look. “It’s what you make it. You’re so cynical for a guy who comes from a good home and has had zero broken hearts.”
I laugh at that. “All I’m saying is actually getting married isn’t necessary to commit to someone. The ultimate act of love to me is acceptance and someone sticking around. I don’t need a formal piece of paper for that.”
“I know. Shift your thoughts on kids?”
“No. Besides, I’m hella young to even be thinking about that.”
“True.” He sips his now-cooled coffee. “I want kids though. I know I do.”
“You’re different than me, and that’s okay.”
“Yeah. You know sex is gonna be fire with Mitsu. He’s older. Older men are always fire.”
“I’ve heard. Tell me your news now.” I change the subject, not wanting to even let my brain go to a place where I’m imagining sex with Mitsu. That kiss last night made me want things I’ve never wanted. Dangerous things.
“So, the promotion,” Mac starts. “It would be running my own store.”
My eyes widen as I chomp on bacon. “Dude. Store manager already?”
He nods happily. “Yeah. My current manager put in a rec with District for me. I have an interview on Tuesday.”
“That’s awesome. Which location?”
Mac’s smile dims. “Daytona Beach.”
My throat tightens. “What? You’re leaving Miami?”
“If I get the job, yeah.”
I nod. “Oh.”
He reaches across the table and wraps his hand around mine, which is gripping my coffee mug. “It’s a really good opportunity. I can do whatever I want.”
“Yeah, of course. I just didn’t realize it would be out of town.”
“Same state. We could meet up at Disney. We’ll still see each other.”
“Yeah.” Sure we will. He won’t be super busy running his own clothing store nearly four hours away from me. “I’m happy for you. I’ll just have to get used to not having you around so much.”
“If it happens.” He releases my hand. “Besides, you have some exciting things happening. You’re on the edge of this new relationship, and you’re making new friends with the guys you work with.”
I nod. “I guess it’s time to let go of another security blanket.”
“You don’t need it. You’re strong and brave. You’ve totally got this.”
I sip my coffee, eager to change the topic. “So? Second date?”
Mac’s face lights up again. “His name is Chris. We met at a D&D match a few weeks ago.”
“Oh, nice. So he’s a geek like you?”
“Says the geek like me.”
I laugh softly. “What’s he like?”
“Smart. Talented. Really sweet. He’s an illustrator. He works on comic books, video games, stuff like that. He’s self-employed, so if things work out he could move with me.”
“That’s awesome. Have you done the deed yet?”
Mac laughs. “No, but I told him last night, and he was amazing about it. He said it was new to him, but he’s always been more focused on a person’s inside than outside.”
“Good.”
“I told him all of it though. About my transition, my surgeries, my parents. It was a nice talk. He’s had some trouble with his family too. His dad was abusive growing up. I felt really connected to him.”
“That’s important. You deserve someone kind, Mac.”
“So do you.” His face lights up. “Wouldn’t it be amazing if we fell in love at the same time?”
“Definitely. It’s a little early for me still.”
“Me too, duh, but there’s potential, and potential is good.”
“It is.”
After breakfast with Mac, I find myself needing company. I could go into the shop and hang out, but I don’t want to be a distraction. I end up at my apartment and decide to call my mom.
“Greyden,” she answers. “How are you?”
“I’m good, Mama, how are you?”
“Just fine.”
Silence lingers between us for a second.
“Is something wrong?” she asks.
“No. Everything’s good, actually. Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Did I ever like being cuddled? Like when I was a baby or a young kid?”
“Hmm. Well, let me think.” She hums as she does, something she’s always done. “If I remember, you were pretty affectionate until about age four or five.”
“Did you still try after that?”
“Not too much. Your dad and I thought it wasn’t respectful to force affection on you.”
“That’s fair.”
“Why is this on your mind?”
“I met someone. He’s kind of touchy, but it doesn’t bother me like it does with other people. I’m still really aware of it, but I’m allowing it.”
“Sounds as if you like him then. And trust him.”
“I do. Both of those things.”
“Wonderful. Will we meet him soon?”
“Ah, I don’t know about that yet, Mama. We’ve only been out a couple of times.”
“Okay, well, you know my advice is take it very slow. I never want to see you get hurt because of what makes you different.”
“I know. I’ll probably tell him soon. Might as well get it out there.”
“Okay.” I can hear the tension in her voice. “Are you sure he’s a good person?”
“I’m very sure about that. I just want to make sure it’s gonna be something first.”
“Of course. What’s his name?”
“Mitsu. He’s Japanese.”
“That’s a nice name. Is he handsome?”
“Super handsome. He’s taller than me. Can you believe it?”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. What does he do?”
I pull a face. I should have seen this question coming. “Um, he teaches art workshops.” Pretty good cover, Grey.
“Oh, an artist, just like my boy.”
“Yeah. He’s really smart and calm. Mature. He owns a house and runs his own business. He’s older than me.”
“Sounds like it. How much older?”
“I’m not sure.” I laugh. “I haven’t asked.”
“Doesn’t matter anyway.”
“Not really. If things keep going, maybe we can meet up for lunch or something.”
“We’d love that. All I ever wanted was to see you happy. No matter the journey it took to get there.”
“I know. I have the best parents.”
“We have the best kids.”
“Okay, Mama, tell Dad I said hi. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Bye, Greyden.”
I hang up and lean back on my couch. That blew five minutes. Now what?
I try keeping myself busy straightening up the apartment and doing some laundry, but after finding myself on the couch again two hours later, I give in and do what I wanted to do the whole time. I call Mitsu.
“Hello, Grey,” he answers.
“Hi.” A smile pulls at my lips. “Am I bugging you?”
“Never. How are you?”
“Good. Bored.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you doing?”
“Reading a book.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt. I can let you go.”
“I’d much rather talk to you, Grey.”
“Oh.” A giggle escapes my lips. “I guess I was just thinking about you and wanting to hear your voice.”
“I am flattered.”
“I told my mom about you. Not too much, of course, but just that I met you and that you were cool.”
“I don’t know that I’ve been called cool before, but I accept it.”
I laugh. “You’re super cool.”
“Thank you.” His voice softens as he speaks. “I will be honest because it’s always what I want to be.”
My heart races. Please don’t tell me you don’t want to see me anymore.
“You’ve made my entire day by calling.”
“What?”
“You have. I look forward to each interaction we have.”
“That’s amazing. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’m grateful our paths crossed. Would you like to have dinner again soon?”
“Definitely.”
“What is Tuesday like? I have workshops this afternoon and tomorrow.”
“Tuesday is pretty good. I’ll look at my schedule at work and let you know when my last client comes in. I keep meaning to put it on my phone, but I’m still adjusting to being organized and stuff.”
He laughs softly. “It can take a lifetime to tackle.”
“Not for you.”
“My life is simple.”
“Right. You have a workshop today?”
“In a few hours. A beginner’s workshop.”
“Can I come?” My eyes widen in surprise. Where the hell did that burst of bravery come from?
“You want to?”
I let his question settle for a few seconds. “Um, yeah, I do. I’m still curious about it, and I like watching you work.”
“You are always welcome.”
His delivery makes my insides feel melty. “Cool. What time?”
“Four is when they’ll arrive. You can come a bit earlier if you’d like.”
“Is three good?”
“Perfect.”
“Great. I’ll see you soon, then.”
“I can hardly wait.”
* * *
At three o’clock I pull into Mitsu’s driveway, considerably calmer than the first workshop I came to now that I know he won’t ask me to do anything I’m not ready for. I step up to the front door, finding it slightly propped open. Entering, I gaze around and then figure he must be in the garden already. When I find him, my breath hitches. He’s standing sideways in his white linen pants and no shirt. His arms are raised as he twists his hair into a knot, the action causing every muscle in his arms and torso to go taut. The vein in his forearm is absolute porn, and I want to run across the room and lick it. The best part though, the part making my legs tremble, is the sunlight streaming into the room, outlining his legs and the very prominent bulge between them. Sweet chicken and waffles. Only pride is keeping me from falling to my knees and begging him to let me see it. And fear. If he showed it to me, then what the hell would I do?
I clear my throat softly to get his attention. He twists in my direction, a smile spreading across his face.
“Grey.” He walks swiftly toward me then pauses. “May I hug you?”
“Please.”
I step into his embrace, inhaling his scent and smiling as his lips brush my cheek. “Thank you for coming.”
“You’re welcome. Can I help with anything?”
“No. I was just about to sort some ropes and think about what I want to teach today.”
“You don’t follow the same routine?”
“No. I like to be inspired by the energy I feel each session. It keeps it new and fresh for me so I can give my best.”
“That makes sense. I kind of do that too. I draw every day: characters, portraits, flowers, whatever. I want to be at Jude’s level someday.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s unbelievably talented. He makes it look easy, but it’s not. He does this technique with shading that is so realistic it’s mind blowing. He’s been letting me watch him work a few times.”
“So he’s also gracious.”
“He’s cool. I’ve been at a few other shops that were okay but had lots of turnover, not super professional. Jude doesn’t run Black Heart like that. He’s fair and professional, and he lets us be ourselves.”
“That’s important. Do you know why it’s called Black Heart?”
“Yeah. He had a dream. He saw it vividly, ink splatters and all. He knew it was his sign to move forward and start his own shop.”
Mitsu nods. “I often believe our dreams hold many secrets and clues for us.”
“Fears too.”
“Definitely.” His hand runs up and down my arm. “I hope you don’t have many.”
“Not as many as I used to.”
He doesn’t say anything as he reaches up and brushes hair from my shoulder. “I love touching you. Thank you for allowing it.”
I shake my head, laughing softly. “You’re unreal sometimes.”
“Because I respect your boundaries?” His hand moves to the back of my neck, gently tickling the base. “I always will.”
“I appreciate it.” I step closer. “You make me feel...really good inside.”
“That is music to my soul.” He bows his head slightly. “If I don’t return to the ropes, I’ll have to cancel class and spend the rest of the day staring into your eyes.”
I smile, stealing a peck from his lips. “Let’s get to work then.”
“Only if you do that again,” he says with a playful lilt to his voice that I could become addicted to.
I press my lips to his again, lingering this time. He makes a noise between a hum and a growl that lights me up inside. When he releases me, the look in his eyes makes me feel naked, stripped bare, but in a way I want to explore.
“Ropes,” Mitsu says.
“Yep. What are we doing?”
“It’s more about me connecting to them than anything. I feel them, running them through my hands, untangling, and then selecting.”
“So I should just watch?”
“If you’d like. It might be boring though. You could go sit in the garden. The outside garden.”
“I don’t think I’ll be bored.”
“Well, then I appreciate your company.”
“I’ll stay.”
In fact, I never want to leave.