Love, Ally by Hannah Gray
twenty-six
Ally
The last few weeks, I’ve kept myself so busy that I don’t even have a split second to stop and think about Cole. Or any of my problems.
I miss him—so fucking much.
But on a positive note, I don’t have to constantly keep dodging his questions or lie to him. Which is a relief.
Between working at Lenny’s, classes, and homework, I haven’t been much of a friend to Sloane. But when she asked to go out tonight to dinner, I was all for it. I have grown to really love her these past few months of knowing her. I trust her, which is a hard thing for me to do.
“We just can’t go to King’s Pub again,” I tell her. “That’s his competition, and Lenny will kick my ass.”
Her forehead wrinkles, and she makes an odd face. “We’re not going to King’s Pub. We’re going to a steak house, and they have pasta too. But I don’t get it. Lenny’s is, like, a mom-and-pop restaurant. King’s Pub is just that—a pub. Why would they be in competition?”
“Because weekend nights, they steal all the business. And now, they’re doing shit like milkshakes and trying to mimic Lenny’s burger. He’s pissed.” I laugh. “I told him I’d go over there and put a bag of flaming dog shit on the doorstep.” Shaking my head, I recall his face when he heard my ridiculous offer. “He definitely contemplated it, but he said no.”
“I swear, you like Lenny more than me sometimes.” She pouts. “It’s like he’s your old-man bestie.”
“I do not.” I giggle. “I love you both. But just in different ways. He’s sort of like the grandfather I never had.”
Her face looks remorseful. “Ally, I’m sorry. I didn’t even consider that. I’m a bitch.”
“Oh my good God, it’s fine. I know it’s weird that I have an old-man friend.” I smile. “Coming to Georgia, I’ve met so many great people. You, Carla, and my old-man bestie, Lenny. It’s been really nice, having people. I finally am experiencing what it’s like to have a village.”
“And Cole …” she says curiously.
“Yeah, and Cole. But I had him before I came here, and I know he’ll always have my back. It’s just … I don’t know, Sloane. I hate that he always wants to rescue me. You know?”
Before Cole, I never needed anybody to protect me. I got through life all on my own. Even as a toddler, I didn’t die from malnutrition. Yet I made it even though I have no idea how. And then there’s Cole, constantly trying to save me like I’m some damsel in distress.
I wish he’d see me for how strong I am. I went through hell my last day in Charlotte’s Falls. I thought I was going to die that day. Yet here I am, alive.
“It could be worse. He could not want to rescue you. He could be a guy who didn’t give a shit. You know?”
She speaks the truth. That would be much worse, and I’m aware of that. But how can I explain what the hell my deal is when I barely understand it myself sometimes.
I’m a fucking confusing, weird, temperamental creature.
Putting my lips in a straight line, I roll my eyes. “Oh fuck, girl. Why you gotta go and make me feel like a gigantic bag of dicks?”
She smiles. “Because, sometimes, it’s easier to see things from the outside instead of from the inside. And I know I don’t know your whole story, or his, or yours together, but I know he loves you. And I can tell you love him too.”
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. But I attempt to laugh it off. That beats diving into the real nitty-gritty shit.
“All right, Dr. Phil,” I tease her. “I want carbs. Let’s roll.”