The Embrace by Vivian Wood

33

Istraighten my tie as the limo pulls up to the graveyard. Kaia reaches out and grabs my hands, leaving it and giving me a reassuring look.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?”

I push out my cheek with my tongue but then sigh. “Dr. Lane thinks that it'll be good for me. And since I have only been seeing him for three weeks, I think that I should listen to him instead of my inner voice.”

The limo pulls to a stop. Kaia raises her eyebrows.

“What's your inner voice telling you right now?” she asks.

I smirk at her just a little. “It's telling me to burn it all to the fucking ground. Whatever that means.”

She smiles at me. “I’m going to be right by your side the entire time. Just say the word and we will leave.”

My lips lift at the corners. “Thanks. I think I'm ready to face Anita one last time.”

Sliding out of the car, I shade my eyes against the early autumn sunlight. Kaia immediately pulls her coat closer to her body, shivering against the cool air. I step closer to her and wrap her in one side of my coat, pulling her close. She has been persistently cold for the last two weeks, her body apparently working overtime to heat the fragile life in her womb.

“I got you,” I murmur.

She shoots me an appreciative look as we approach the cemetery gate. Just up ahead to the left of the gates is a massive mausoleum. The Fordham name is on it, big block letters chiseled into the dark granite.

After a lot of debate, the family crypt is really the only place that Anita’s remains should be stored. At least this way Lucas will feel like her body was respected.

I clamp my lips shut and try not to sigh out loud.

As we get closer to the mausoleum, I can make out my brother Lucas. He's standing and talking with a pretty, dark haired girl in a stylish black minidress. Beside them is Kaia's friend Ella, looking elegant as always in her black pantsuit and slicked back dark hair.

As we approach them, Kaia lets go of my hand and hugs Ella, then gives the other girl a quick arm squeeze.

“Hello Manon. I didn't know that you would be joining us today.”

Manon gives Kaia a devilish look. “Well, here I am.”

Kaia chuckles. “Yes, indeed.”

I quickly embrace Lucas, casting my gaze over Manon. When I pull back, Lucas clears his throat.

“Calum, this is Manon. She is… my friend.”

I squint at her, a frown appearing on my face. But Dr. Lane put a few rules in place for me today, to make sure that I handle this brief ceremony as well as possible.

One of those rules is not to asked too many questions or to let myself get upset over small things. So I merely incline my head. If Manon notices my reaction, she doesn't seem to.

“Is this everyone?” Lucas asks.

I look to Kaia, arching a brow. She shakes her head.

“My mom and my sister are supposed to meet us here.” She checks her phone, her mouth turning down at the corners. “They are five minutes late, though. So I say that we just get started without them.”

Lucas leads the charge as we shuffle up the steps and pull open the mausoleum doors. The crypt is well kept, it's lights flickering on as soon is the doors are opened. The wall directly in front of us is a memorial for those that have died. The wall is just smooth gray stone with the names of hundreds of our relatives chiseled neatly in rows.

I wait as long as possible to follow everyone else inside. As I am crossing the threshold, I hear a woman’s voice.

“We are coming! We are coming! Sorry!”

I turn and spot two figures hurrying across the graveyard, one making sure not to step on any consecrated ground. That's Kaia's mother, Serena. Kaia's sister Hazel follow behind, seeming not to care whether she walks over graves or not.

Against my better judgment, it makes me like her a little bit more.

I wait at the door of the crypt until the two women make it up the steps and sweep past me.

Kaia's mother stops to acknowledge my recent loss; she gives my hand an awkward pat and says hello. Hazel doesn't greet anyone and just stands to the side, her expression aloof.

Introductions are made in short order, with Serena insisting on hugging everyone.

Lucas smiles a little sadly. He turns and regards the wall. “Where is Anita’s name?”

Manon replies. “There it is. The last entry, Anita Cahill. No date of birth, no date of death. Just her name, plain and simple.”

Lucas makes eye contact with me as Serena hugs Kaia. He raises his eyebrows and asks me a question.

“Do you want to start?”

Pursing my lips, I shake my head. “Nope. This is your show. I'm just here to support you. So say what you have come here to say.”

He clears his throat, his gaze tightening on my face for a second. And then he turns away, holding out a hand to Manon. She clasps it.

He draws in a long breath.

Lucas clears his throat. “Anita was a complicated woman. There is no denying that. But I remember her best as my second mother, the one who would play hide and seek, the one who would always give me quarters for candy. She did not lead a blameless life. In fact, she was more of a villain then almost anyone I know. But we gather here today to mourn a life passed. Nothing more, nothing less.”

He is quiet for a moment. Then he looks up, a tear shimmering in his eye.

He and I make eye contact. Again, he raises his brows, as if he expects me to speak. I have nothing to say, especially not over Anita's newly interred ashes. I shrug, looking instead to Kaia.

She's shivering again and that gives me a reason to open my coat and step up behind her, closing the two sides around her. She glances at me and mouths thank you.

My mouth curves up. There is always happiness to be found in the world, as long as she is around.

Kaia's mother clears her throat. We all look at her, surprised.

“I am afraid that I didn't know Anita. I'm only here because my daughter asked me to be. But I will say now that the souls of the dead are looked after by God, their final arbitrator. So maybe Anita find her eternal rest, whether that be among the angels or not.”

She sniffles a little, clearly emotional.

Seeing her expressing emotion is hard for me, but I am determined to just let it pass. I don't need to remark on her feelings. And Dr. Lane would be proud that I recognize that.

Instead, I focus on my little family, keeping Kaia and our unborn baby warm inside my coat. That's something real, something I can touch and wrap my hands around when I need to.

Lucas glances around and sighs. “Okay. Well… I guess that's it then. Goodbye, Anita.”

I bow my head, unwilling to say another goodbye such a wicked woman.

We turn and amble out of the crypt, all the shading our eyes as we re-enter the bright sun.

Kaia grabs my hand and gives it a tug. I look down at her and she nods to her mom.

I speak up. “Serena?”

Her mom turns around, raising a hand to her chest. “Yes?”

“Would you mind if we talked to you for second?”

I catch Lucas's eye and he grins at me. Apparently he knows exactly what I am about to say to Kaia's mother. Ignoring him, Kaia and I walk with Serena until there is some distance between our party and the rest of the mourners.

Serena wrinkles her brow and looks between us. “What is it? Are you moving?”

Kaia reaches out and grasps her mother's hand. “I’m just telling you because you are my mom and it's only right that you should know. But please be aware that we are not telling people yet.”

Kaia’s mom’s eyes widen. “So you are moving?”

I smile a little. “We are expecting a child,” I cut in. “It will be due in the spring time.”

Serena’s expression of shock is so like Kaia’s, it almost takes my breath away. She blinks several times and then brings her hand to her mouth.

“Oh my God. Oh my God! That's… I'm so happy for both of you. Congratulations!”

She immediately hugs Kaia and then hugs me too, hard enough that the breath is almost knocked from my lungs. I grin a little bit at her teary-eyed exuberance.

“Thank you,” Kaia says.

I follow that up with, “We are very excited. Aren’t we?”

Kaia grins at me, misty eyed already. “Yes we are. We definitely are.”

She offers me a kiss, chaste enough given the setting. But I take advantage of it, pulling her in close and kissing her more deeply.

That's the thing with Kaia. There will never be enough kisses. Never be too much sex or too much intimacy.

It turns out, that's what I crave most. I’ve slowly discovered that in my sessions with Dr. Lane.

It doesn’t hurt that I also have a gorgeous girlfriend.

Eventually I am forced to let Kaia go. But I know that as soon as her family is gone, she'll come right back to me, into my arms, intending on staying there forever.