Hellbent Hero by Naomi Porter

20

Hero

MY WOMAN… SHE was masterful at deflecting, but I wasn’t about to let her. I might’ve been playing around, but I felt it. What was going on with her was serious as fuck.

“Talk, Tara.”

She inhaled a deep breath, gripping my biceps. “I’m messed up.” Her big brown eyes connected with mine. “After years of abuse from my drug addict dad, I hurt myself.” She let out a sigh, like the explanation was exhausting her. “My therapist calls it NSSI, non-suicidal self-injury. When I’m sad or lonely, burning myself brings me comfort.”

Fuck me.

Emotion percolated in my throat, recalling the burns on her body. She’d done that to herself after seeing me in county. Me. I was the cause of her pain. My chest burned with shame and heartache, but I’d deal with my own guilt later. Right now, Tara was my priority. I had to take care of her. 

“What did he do to you?” I didn’t even need to know. Rage bloomed inside me. I’d end his life the first chance I got.

“He burned me with a cigarette. Used me as payment for his heroin habit.”

I saw red. “En el nombre de Dios, no.” That man would die by my hand.

Tara blinked her glossy eyes. “What did you say?”

“In the name of God, no. How did he use you, baby?” I kissed her cheek softly.

“How do you think?”

“Fuck!” An image of a young redhead flashed behind my eyes. I snapped them closed, forcing it out of my head. I didn’t want to think of my woman being used for sex. I was sure that was what she meant. In the world I lived in, I’d seen evil, vile things. Sex trafficking was more prevalent than the average person probably realized. But not my woman. I couldn’t stomach hearing she’d been used this way.

God help me, before I lose my mind.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t awful.”

My eyes flashed open. “The fuck you say? We are talking about sex for drugs, right? How old were you?” My heart raced just as fast as the words spewed out of my mouth.

She dropped her chin and closed her eyes.

“Eyes up here, mi vida. You are not allowed to hide from me.”

She obeyed, lifting her face. Damn straight, she did. She needed to know there wasn’t a single thing she could say or do to lose my devotion to her.

“That’s my girl. Continue.”

She swallowed, nodding. “I was twelve. My dad’s dealer gave me something, so I wouldn’t be nervous.” She watched for my reaction. “I mean, at least I had a crush on him. Could have been much worse.”

Fuck me if I couldn’t stop the outright fury igniting in me. “Christ Almighty! Twelve, Roja? You were a little girl and drugged!” If I wasn’t buried deep inside her pussy, I’d be off her and punching the goddamned walls. I dropped my lips to her neck, blinking back tears. “Fuck, baby.”

She caressed my shoulders. “It’s okay, big guy. It was a long time ago. I’m over it.”

How the fuck could anyone be over it?

I leveled my gaze to hers. “Roja, I want to kill both of them.”

“You’re sweet.” She pecked my lips. See? Tara was fucking strong. “You can’t tell anyone this, Hero. Maddy doesn’t know any of it. When we met in college, I was in a good place. I’d dealt with my demons.” She pressed her face into my chest and breathed me in. “Her light kept the darkness at bay.”

“Jesus, mi vida. I hate that this happened to you.” I’d rather die than harm my child or let someone else hurt them. How could anyone be so cruel? “Tell me how to help you. I’ll do anything, baby.”

She pressed her warm lips to my chest, brushing her nose across my skin. “It’d been years since I burned myself.”

“And it was because of me that you did it again.” My fucking heart wilted. To be the reason she hurt herself gutted me.

“Not entirely.” She lifted her chin. “I was weak. I let myself spiral instead of fighting through the pain I felt. I own my shit, Hero. It’s not your fault.”

Bullshit, I’d broken my Roja. She didn’t need to shoulder the blame. If I’d been honest with her. If only I’d dealt with the guilt regarding my wife and son. If I’d put them to rest once and for all, Tara wouldn’t have burned herself. My Roja wouldn’t have broken.

I touched my forehead to hers. “I’m so sorry.”

“Burning myself is the least of my worries. My scars will heal and fade.”

“You’re the strongest woman I know.” I’d seen her strength with my own eyes during the clusterfuck with the Dirty Hunters. I’d also seen her heart shatter for Madeline over and over. If my Roja could’ve traded herself for her bestie, she would’ve. I fucking would’ve hated it, but I respected the shit out of her protective, selfless nature.

“I’m not, Hero. I’m scared… Terrified, actually.” Her grip on my arms tightened as terror blanketed her face.

“Why?”

“My… my dad called me.” She trembled under me. “I hadn’t spoken to him in eleven years when he left. I never thought I’d see Paul Walsh again.” Her arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. “I thought he was dead… wished he was.”

After what he’d done to her, she had every right to hate him. Paul Walsh, I’d remember his name and have Grizzly check into him.

“I must sound like a horrible daughter, but he’s not right in the head. Drugs screwed him up. He called himself the Wizard. I was his little Dorothy.” She touched her head. “Because of my red hair. When he burned me, he hummed like it was a game. I had a lonely childhood. I was so thirsty for attention, even the kind that hurt.” Her eyes turned into pools of melted chocolate.

“Fuck, Roja.” I kissed her lips as I teared up, my heart hemorrhaging over her suffering. “I won’t let him or anyone else hurt you. I’m moving you to the compound with me.”

“No, I’m not ready for that. Not after what happened the last time.”

“I’m claiming you. You belong with me.”

“You keep saying that, but I’m scared, Hero. I need more time.”

This attitude from her was the result of my dropping off the planet for a month. I screwed up big time. Fuck, it pissed me off. I wouldn’t let anything or anyone come between my woman and me ever again.

I lightly touched my lips to hers. “Baby—”

“Not another word about it, big guy. I’m not moving in with you… yet. But you’re welcome to stay here with me.” Her intense brown depths watched for my reactions.

“Okay, I’ll stay here.”

She smiled, grabbing each one of my ass cheeks in her hands. “Perfect, now fuck me. I need to leave for work in an hour.”

“Is that all you wanted to tell me? I thought there was more.” I really needed to tell her about Monica and my son and that they were the reason I’d taken off, but I came back for her. Then that fucking Sonny planted the weed on me, screwing everything up. After everything she shared, the time didn’t seem right to get into all that.

“That’s all I want to tell you. If we’re going to be together, I don’t want to hide my past from you. But what I tell you is between you and me. Got it?”

“Got it. And mi vida, we are together.”

“Then give your woman a mind-blowing orgasm because I’ve been stressed to the max for far too long.”

“Sure you can’t spend the day with me?” I wanted nothing more than to pin her to the bed with my body and make up for the time we lost.

“Sorry. No dice.” She flashed me a broad smile. “Now get to the fucking.”

I grinned, wiggling my eyebrows. My dick was still lodged inside her warmth, so I started fucking my woman. I smashed my lips to hers, thrusting my hips firmly to take us both over the edge. After the first time I fucked Tara, I learned how quickly she went off—zero to sixty in less than ten seconds.

“This is what I’ve been needing.” Her mouth popped open into an O as she clawed at my shoulders, her back bowing so I’d go deeper.

Hard and fast was often how she liked it.

The time we’d spent together the day after AJ’s funeral was full of discovery. Tara enjoyed sex and all variations, even sensual and sweet. I learned quickly that I could control and dominate her, take her ass while slapping it, and bite her shoulder when taking her from behind. She desired it all. Once we’d calmed and been sufficiently sated, I loved her softly.

My Roja was perfect for me.

“I’m close, big guy!”

“Already?” As if I’m surprised.

“Don’t tease me!”

I chuckled. “All right, baby. Gimme your lips.” I loved her soft, supple mouth. Couldn’t get enough of her sweetness.

I picked up my tempo, making sure to hit her G-spot. Slipping in and out of her, I worked up a sweat. It was then I realized I hadn’t put a condom on. Had she known? Before, she would only let me fuck her with my pecker wrapped up.

I released her lips, rearing back. “Roja, I forgot to put on a condom.”

Her hand cradled the back of my head, bringing my face toward hers. “It’s okay. If you tell me you’re clean, I want your cum in me. I’m on the pill and clean.”

I stared into her gorgeous eyes for a long second, absorbing the love in them. She trusted me. It was all I ever wanted. Well, and for her to love me. I felt it deep in my soul that she did, just as I loved her.

I didn’t need to hear the words.

She likely held them close to her heart like her most precious secret. When she finally gave them to me, finally trusted me completely, our hearts would merge, forever sealing our souls as one. On that day, I would ask her to marry me.

Even if it was today.

Tara was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving. She would be my wife one day, guaranteed.

“I haven’t been with anyone since July third, the day before I met. I got tested a week later, hoping you’d give me a shot. I haven’t been with anyone but you, mi vida.”

Her glossy eyes smiled. “Then we’re good.”

We were fucking good.

Our lips connected as I took us both over the edge of ecstasy.