Push by Sadie Rose
Ashort night out turned into a long one. It was now past 2:00 a.m. and we were finally making our way out of the lounge. Ray had met a nice guy earlier in the night and bailed to go spend time with him. Madison and I, under the supervision of Miller who sat at the bar most of the night watching us, spent the rest of the evening drinking cocktails and dancing. Madison danced with several men who vied for her attention. I danced with Madison but politely declined all the men who asked me to dance with them.
It gave me time to think about Roman and how he had flipped out on my outfit. I don’t know why I kept pushing him while he was away. When I had finally taken out my phone to see his response, it made me cringe. He was upset and hurt and felt like I had just dismissed his feelings. If I was honest, I kind of did. I was emotionally drained and couldn’t handle one more thing. He just didn’t know everything that was going on with me and as we slid into the back of the car, I vowed to tell him as soon as he returned.
Miller’s door closing snapped me back into realization. My head was fuzzy from the drinks and dancing and if I was being completely honest, I was on the other side of tipsy. Madison was completely drunk and couldn’t stop laughing—at what I didn’t know. Miller eyed her in the rearview mirror and I could see his mouth slightly lift on one side. Since he had scowled at her all night dancing with strange men that was a nice change.
I pulled my phone out of my clutch and saw that I didn’t have any new messages. I chewed on my thumbnail, a habit that I had when I was deep in thought and nervous. I. guess this was our first major disagreement. Instead of feeling calm and relaxed like Madison, who was resting her head on my shoulder fighting to stay awake, I was completely wired. “Um… Miller?”
He cleared his throat. “Yes, Olivia?”
I hated to ask him about Roman. In fact, I tried to not ask him questions about him. But my heady mix of emotions wrapped up in the alcohol won over and I blurted it out. “Have you heard anything else from him tonight?”
“If you mean Mr. Devereaux, yes ma’am. He had me giving him updates throughout the night.”
Great. Just great. This night needed to end. When we pulled up to the apartment, Madison was completely knocked out. Miller came around the car and we got her out of the car.
“Olivia, If you can open the door and go ahead I’ll carry her up.”
“You can’t carry her up three flights.” He tilted his head to the side and just gave me a stare.
“Start walking. I’ll be right behind you.” He nudged me along as he tipped Madison up into his arms. After quickly taking three flights, quicker than I thought he could, I let them into the apartment. Once Miller placed Madison on her bed, he bid me goodnight. I got her shoes off and placed a bottle of water by her bed and a trash can in case she needed it in the night. Then I finally was able to peel off my dress that had started to feel like it was permanently attached to my skin. I begrudgingly cleaned my face before slipping under the covers.
My eyes felt heavy and my body felt drugged. There was only a hint of faint light coming into my bedroom so I knew it still had to be in the wee hours of the morning. I rolled over not caring what brought me out of my slumber. Then I caught a glimpse of a dark figure sitting across from me and screamed. I stifled a moan and sat up in the bed, I jerked the chain on the bedside lamp. Light filled the room and much to my surprise Roman stared back at me.
He was sitting in a chair from the living room that he had placed in the corner of my bedroom. I scrubbed a hand over my face and tried to clear my sleep-ridden eyes. That’s when I took in his appearance. His suit looked wrinkled, his hair rumpled like he had run his hand through it over and over. He looked tired and something was underlying in his expression that I couldn’t place.
“Roman, what the fuck! You could have given me a fucking heart attack.” His eyes stayed locked with mine but he stayed silent. “Are you going to say anything?” He shook his head slowly back and forth. That was his only response. “What are you doing here? I thought you couldn’t leave Japan for a few more days.”
He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “I was going to surprise you. I was on my way to the airport when we talked this morning. I was on a flight all night while you were out dressed looking like a goddess attracting every man in a three-mile vicinity. I’m glad to see you still have my bracelet on.”
He gestured to my wrist that held the cool precious metal around it. The diamonds shining under the muted light from the lamp. “Roman, what’s the matter?”
In a flash, he was out of the chair and sitting on the bed beside me. I could smell the alcohol on him and his eyes were glassy and a little bloodshot. “Have you been drinking?”
He twisted up one side of his mouth into a smile. “I had to do something to occupy my thoughts on the airplane, with you out there looking like a goddess and me being alone on a flight.” He stroked my arm and played with the bracelet around my wrist. “Yeah, Olivia I’ve been drinking.”
He pulled his phone out of his pants pocket and a second later he tilted the screen so I could see it. I took the phone and stared in shock at what I saw. A famous celebrity tabloid logo stood at the top of his phone and underneath was a photo of Madison and me dancing earlier in the night. I had a drink in one of my hands and my other on Madison’s shoulder. We were being silly and practicing our pout faces. Under the photo, the headline read, Trouble already in Paradise? Roman Devereaux’s New Play Toy Out Alone. Clearly people had noticed me tonight, enough to take my photo and send it to trashy gossip outlets. Internet trolls.
“Roman, I can’t control if people take my photo.”
He dismissed me instantly, holding up his hand, “Ollie, it’s not that. If anyone understands that fact it’s me. I’ve been dealing with it for years. What you can do though is control the narrative by not going out alone and wearing that dress.” He sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. “Listen, if I had been with you the pictures could have been a different narrative and I know that’s harsh to hear because you weren’t doing anything wrong but it’s the world we live in. Having me by your side would have cut that bullshit story.”
I tried to see it from a media perspective and as much as I hated to admit it, he was right. If he had been with me, whoever would have gotten those photos sent to them tonight would have done a completely different story. Maybe even no story at all, but hindsight is 20/20. I shrugged at what Roman was trying to convey, I didn’t care what the press thought or said about me.
He tucked me into his arm and squeezed me. “I just don’t want you to get overwhelmed with the gossip and people’s opinions of you.”
I gave him a small smile. “That’s what I have you for, you have a high opinion of me and that’s the one I’m sticking with up here.” I tapped the side of my head and he laughed. I laid back in the bed and flung the covers open to the side of the bed beside me. “What are you waiting for? Get in.”
He stood up and untied his tie, slipped off his clothing and crawled into my bed only wearing his boxer shorts. As soon as he laid down, he pulled my back into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. I sighed at his touch and it felt good to be back in his embrace. He buried his nose in my hair and then the side of my neck taking deep inhales. “Fuck Ollie, I missed you. I’m sorry I was so busy and we didn’t get to talk much each day but I’m back baby girl and I promise I’ll make it up to you. This week I’m going to lavish you with attention.”
I squeezed his arms and snuggled closer into him. We laid like that for a long time, talking about his trip and my week at work and everything in between. The only thing we didn’t talk about was my mom. His warm body was close to mine and because of my lack of sleep, I started to doze off. My breathing evening out as a softer light from outside tried to creep its way into my room. I was almost completely asleep when I heard his whisper in my ear, “This feels right to me. You were the piece I was missing.”
I didn’t move or give him any indication that I was awake. I laid there, letting the words roll over in my mind. I fell asleep smiling and thinking about how Roman Devereaux had let me in, and more importantly, I was falling in love with him. He just didn’t know it yet.