Reggie’s Reasons by Lisa Oliver
Chapter Four
Not for the first time, Dirkin mentally cursed his foolhardy actions ten years before. He’d been cocky, he knew that – cocky, arrogant, and determined to show a coven leader no one had the right to dictate his actions. He’d learned – by the Fates, he’d learned a hard lesson. Ten years of lurking in the shadows, never being able to feel the sun, or touch another person. Fuck, he hadn’t even been able to touch himself – he spent ten years as a shadow.
Bevan, fucking Bevan. Dirkin had plenty of time to think while he couldn’t do much else, and over time, as he watched Reggie mature, he could see why the damn coven leader was so determined Reggie be allowed to reach adulthood before he was claimed. His demon nature demanded he protect his mate at all costs, and it was excruciating watching Reggie do things like learn to drive all by himself or going out with friends. When Reggie first moved away from the coven, Dirkin would stay in the shadows by his mate’s bed for hours, listening for every little sound in case Reggie’s apartment got broken into. Not that he’d have been able to do much if someone had broken in.
As Reggie got older, staying around him got harder and harder for Dirkin to do. He’d exhausted the fantasies of what he’d do to the growing man when he finally had a body to act out those desires, and being so close, yet not able to touch the man he knew was his mate was just too hard. Dirkin started staying away – still touching base once a month or so, but that was all he’d allowed himself. Which was why seeing the Donny-head in Reggie’s bed was such a shock.
Dirkin was pulled from his thoughts by Reggie lifting his head. “I’m sorry,” Reggie said with a raspy voice, frantically wiping his face with his hands. “It was… upsetting to know Bevan didn’t even tell me I had a mate. But then I realized about how hard this has all been for you. How did you cope with it, being in the shadows for so long?”
And there’s the loving soul I knew I was fated for. Dirkin smiled softly. “How about we blow this joint, find some real food, and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“Won’t your wings be a bit conspicuous?”
Dirkin’s whole body tingled as Reggie stroked down the leather appendage closest to him. “I… er… I can fold them back.” Dirkin cleared his throat. Was it hot in here, or just me? “I just need to remember the action.” He flexed his shoulders. “There, how does that look?”
“Stunning.” But Reggie wasn’t looking at his wings, his eyes were still on Dirkin’s face and man, if that didn’t make Dirkin’s temperature rise even further.
“Food,” he growled, although the growl wasn’t intentional. “Food and then a flat surface, because my mate, if you keep looking at me like that, we won’t make it to the food or the flat surface – I’ll take you where you stand.”
“Hmm,” Reggie got a cheeky smirk on his face as he turned, grabbing Dirkin’s hand and moving towards the door. “I wonder if those strong arms of yours could hold me up, standing right in the middle of the floor, while you slammed into my ass with your cock?”
“Don’t fucking tempt me, mate,” Dirkin groaned. He could imagine the scene as clear as day. “I’m trying to do the right thing here.” And I need food. But Dirkin didn’t say that even though his stomach wouldn’t stop rumbling. Apparently, becoming solid again after ten years left him with a real hollow feeling in his gut. A couple of steaks and a burger or two, or three or four, would take care of that problem.
“You don’t mind me holding your hand, do you?” Reggie asked quietly as he opened the main door. “I know some people aren’t a fan of PDA.”
“I’m a demon, mate.” Dirkin grinned. “I don’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion of me, except yours. You can lead me around with any body part you like, in public, and I’ll smile happily while you do it.”
Reggie’s blush was beautiful.
/~/~/~/~/
Who knew watching someone devour a burger could be such an erotic experience? His own half-eaten food forgotten, Reggie could only stare as he watched Dirkin scoff down food as if he was starving. Which he probably is. Hmm, Reggie wanted to ask about that, but then maybe Dirkin would take it as a sign of weakness, admitting he’d hungered for ten freaking years. From what Reggie knew about demons, and that wasn’t much, they did have a huge sense of pride, especially in their strength and powers.
There was a part of Reggie’s brain that still couldn’t get over what Bevan had done, not that Dirkin had shared any other details as they’d walked two blocks to the all-night diner Reggie was fond of eating at. All Dirkin would say was that they’d talk about it later. Watching bright red lips twist around a triple steak burger was giving Reggie ideas, and they had nothing to do with talking. He knew Dirkin was his beloved – blood didn’t lie – and even now he could feel the effects of a few hastily gulped mouthfuls zinging around his body.
“Have I got something on my face?” Dirkin ran his palm over his mouth, breaking through Reggie’s lustful thoughts.
“No, you look fine.” Reggie shook his head and then looked down at his plate. He should be hungry; he had barely eaten all day, worrying about when his mystery man would call in. But with Dirkin’s blood, he didn’t need the sustenance from overcooked beef and limp lettuce.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been making a pig of myself.” A hot hand enclosed his where it rested on the table. Reggie looked up to see Dirkin’s smile. “It’s been a while since I had a hot meal.”
“I still don’t understand what happened to you. How did you come to see me when I was fifteen anyway?”
Dirkin scratched above his ear with his free hand. “This is going to sound worse than it is,” he said, his lips twisting to one side. “I was kinda summoned by your suffering, during your awakening, do you remember?”
Reggie didn’t remember much at all about those twenty-four hours. Once his thirst hit unbearable levels, Bevan deemed him ready to change, and gave him blood bags. The effects hit him from the moment the first mouthful fell past his throat, but he couldn’t stop drinking. The only sensations he remembered was searing pain and heat.
“Demons are attracted to really intense emotions, particularly pain and terror,” Dirkin explained quietly. “I was already in the area on another matter when I caught a load of your energies in the wind. I was intoxicated, intrigued. In all my years, I’ve never been within ten miles of a vampire transitioning before.”
“Way to go, seeing me at my worst,” Reggie muttered. His fifteen-year-old self had been tall but rake thin. He had pimples, a nose that didn’t fit the size of his face, and stringy hair.
“You were magnificent in your agony, my treasure,” Dirkin assured him. “The moment I appeared in your room I knew we were fated. I could barely wait for you to finish your change, I wanted to take you away and make you mine.”
“Er… you do know I was only fifteen.” Not that Reggie would have resisted if Dirkin had tried. He knew what his dick was for and had been curious even then about sex. To have a beloved of his own had been a dream since he knew what they were.
“Bevan made that point too.” Dirkin sounded disgruntled although he didn’t take his hand away from Reggie’s. “It wasn’t as though I was going to ravage you in your bed. I’ve never had a thing for underage people and there’s more to mating than sex. No, I wanted to take care of you, be with you as you experienced the world in your new form, but Bevan didn’t trust my motives.”
That would be because you’re a demon. Even though the paranormal world was fully out in society, some myths and legends, particularly about demons, still stuck. “I still don’t understand how he banished you to the shadows. I didn’t think that was possible for anyone to do, no matter what their level of power.”
“It’s a rarely used trick that can only be performed by a higher-level demon.”
“Another demon did that to you?” Reggie’s mouth dropped open. “Why? How could they do that to one of their own?”
“Your friend Bevan summoned my boss, Balthazar himself.” Dirkin shook his head. “The big man was not impressed. If Bevan hadn’t been a coven leader, Balthazar would have probably roasted him for lunch.”
“Bevan broke the law?” All summoning spells had been banned as a hate crime when paranormals came out. A demon’s only weakness was the fact they couldn’t resist a summoning. Most demons carried a talisman warded to prevent it from ever happening. Clearly, Balthazar had forgotten his, or thought he would never need one.
“I know you won’t want to hear it, but I think Bevan was really attracted to the skinny little man you used to be,” Dirkin said. “He was way over the top when it came to protecting you during your change. No one else was allowed in the room and he was trying to restrict your blood intake when I arrived, although fortunately, you were quite persistent.”
“Restrict my….” Reggie tilted his head. “Why? I thought he cared about me.”
“I didn’t know anything about you or him at the time.” Dirkin stroked over Reggie’s hand. “But you were naked at the time and from what I saw, he spent a lot of time stroking your skin and whispering about how tiny and precious you were, trying to distract you from the blood bags.”
“He wanted me to spend eternity as his bed partner?” Reggie saw red. “Why the hell would he do that when he’s got a dozen concubines already? I was a nothing, a nobody in the coven, and now you’re telling me if he’d had his way, my whole life would have been spent that way – servicing his needs and nothing else.”
Every vampire knew they had to get the maximum amount of blood possible during the awakening or they were left weakened. That first blood determined how big a vampire’s body would grow, and how strong they would be for the rest of their lives. Restricting a changing vampire’s blood intake was akin to killing them, or at least keeping them weak for the rest of their days. Some vampires didn’t live through the change. “He could’ve killed me!”
“I don’t know for sure – I can only tell you what I saw.” Dirkin cautioned him. “Bevan never said anything specific about you being in his bed but breaking the law and summoning Balthazar to get rid of me was over the top for anyone. I was lucky I was one of Balthazar’s favorites, otherwise I’d have been banished to the shadows forever. That was Bevan’s initial order, but Balthazar managed to negotiate him down to ten years and one day.”
“He never meant for me to meet you.” Reggie still couldn’t understand why. “Instead, he made sure I couldn’t meet you or even know of your existence until the day after I became an adult.” It wasn’t that Reggie didn’t believe Dirkin. Mates/beloveds didn’t lie to each other, even demons. Unfortunately, believing Dirkin meant that everything Reggie had ever believed about Bevan was a lie.
“Tell me something. Let’s say your assumptions about Bevan’s motives for all he did are true, and he wanted me in his bed. Why did Bevan have so little to do with me after I went through the change? He handed off my training to the coven enforcers, and barely took the time to sign my college application form.”
“You grew,” Dirkin said simply, and Reggie wasn’t sure, but it seemed Dirkin felt sorry for him. “Even after my banishment, I stayed, hiding in the shadows of your room, worried about you, and pissed off at what I’d been reduced to. I did see what happened next. As the night went on, and you were changing, Bevan was getting angrier and angrier with every inch you gained. You didn’t only grow in height, but build as well, and Bevan was furious about it. Just before dawn, he stormed out, calling for the guards, yelling something about not wanting a behemoth in his inner circle.”
“I’d have never made his inner circle. Without the blood I needed, I would’ve died, and you would’ve had to watch that too.” Reggie looked down at where their hands were still clasped together on the table. “I’m really, really sorry you spent so long in the shadows because of me.”
“It wasn’t your fault; it was that damn Bevan,” Dirkin growled. “I admit, I probably said some things at the time that wouldn’t have helped the situation. Believe me, between your emotions flooding the room, and your scent getting stronger with every passing minute, I could barely remember my own name, let alone the fact you were only fifteen. But I would’ve controlled myself, had I been given the opportunity. I would’ve protected you until you became an adult, but I never would’ve touched you sexually. That would’ve disrespected who you are to me.”
Letting out a long breath, Dirkin seemed to compose himself. “But that’s all smoke in the wind now, all right? Don’t worry about it.”
Reggie nodded, although he was sure they’d be returning to that conversation more than once, after they claimed each other. He did feel guilty, especially seeing as he had flirted in college and afterwards. Knowing his mate was watching him do it made the whole thing seem more sordid somehow. Which made him think of another question. “How did you manage to send me the cards and the little gifts like the frog and the keyring if you didn’t have a body?”
This time Dirkin scratched behind his neck. Reggie was starting to think it was a tell. “I didn’t have a body of my own,” he said sheepishly, “but I could take over someone else’s body for thirty minutes. It’s a demon trick not many people know enough. But those thirty minutes was just long enough to write the card, and buy the gift if I had seen one that I wanted to give you.”
“Someone else wrote those cards?” Reggie was wondering when the revelations were going to stop. Somewhere in the back of his sub-conscious, those cards had prevented him from making meaningful personal connections with anyone else. And now he found out someone else wrote them?
“No. I did write them, using someone else’s hand, a bit like a puppet, only the full body kind. It didn’t hurt them at all. While in another body, I had enough use of my powers to leave the card for you, using my magic, and then I’d leave the body and they wouldn’t even know what had happened. Look, it’s not something I’m proud of, but I’ve known you’re my mate for ten years. I had to do something.”
Desperation was not a good look on his beloved’s face. Pushing away their dirty plates, Reggie reached over and grabbed Dirkin’s other hand, holding them both on the table. “Those cards and small gifts meant the world to me. I truly believed someone cared for me, and despite having friends, I still yearned for that deeper connection. I guess I always knew I was waiting for you.”
Then he had another thought. “You do know I didn’t do anything but sleep in bed next to Donny, right? I was totally off my face drunk and wouldn’t have been capable of doing anything but sleep. You must have got a bit of a shock….”
The grip on his hands tightened. “Let’s not talk about it, okay?” Dirkin’s lips were tight, but a second later it was as though the demon tried to visibly relax again. “It was a shock seeing that git’s head in your bed. I heard what you told your friend – the goth looking one. I know nothing happened, and even if it had, there was nothing I could have done about it. I did think sometimes, of what I would have to do if you’d found someone else, but I did trust in the fact once you’d recognized me as your beloved, I’d be in your life permanently. Now,” he added caressing Reggie’s left palm, “I’d rather not think about any of that when there’re so many other things we could be talking about or doing.”
Reggie didn’t mistake the suggestiveness of the last word. “Are you going to be gentle with me, seeing as it’s my first time?”
“I’ll be anything you want me to be.” Dirkin winked, but that changed as he scowled looking over Reggie’s shoulder. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, goth boy’s here with the blond git.”
Reggie felt Dirkin try and pull his hands away, and he allowed him one, but held the other firmly. He wasn’t going to start a new relationship with his beloved by hiding who Dirkin was to him. Turning half in his chair, he kept his smile friendly. “Hi Fox, Donny, what are you two doing here?”
