Saving Little Jenna by Ruth Kennedy

Chapter 12: Jenna

"Psst, Jenna," Michael whispered from the corner of his mouth as I looked outside at the sun ready to set any minute. "I need to tell you something about Kristen."

We sat among a sea of toys on the living room floor of Michael's house. Our Daddies chattered noisily on the couch nearby about grown-up stuff. They wanted to go have a Daddies’ night out tonight which was understandable. I enjoyed hanging out with Michael since we were friends, and Daddy felt the same way about hanging out with uncle John. It was healthy for Littles to spend some alone time together and it also applied to Daddies. Some couples were so consumed by love that they completely ignored their friends and family, but I was glad we weren't one of them.

"What is it?" I whispered quietly and Michael instantly shushed me, petting puppy Princess with one hand while the other held a finger to his lip.

"Your whispers are too loud," he said, which was ironic considering his whispers were the loudest. "We can't let our Daddies know about this."

He brought his mouth to my ear, cupped it with his hands, and began whispering loudly. "Kristen likes to pretend to be a good girl around the grown-ups, but don't fall for it. She's evil and I don't want you to get hurt if she tries to be mean like she is to me. She's twenty-seven years old but she likes to play as a teenager, so she's a Middle. She's reliving her bratty and rebellious teenage years but it isn't a good enough reason to be a jerk. She's known to be especially mean to Littles because she considers them immature, which I know is super ironic."

Kristen was supposed to arrive fifteen minutes ago and babysit us while our Daddies went clubbing with their friends. Michael liked to exaggerate things, so I didn't know how much of a jerk Kristen would turn out to be, if at all. But wasn't she age playing herself? So how could she even be mean to someone from the same community?

I brushed Michael’s concern away but he continued. "We need to stay together at all costs. You never know what antics she'll come up with to antagonize and humiliate us. So keep your eyes open and stay sharp."

If Michael was right, we wouldn't be having a fun night as I hoped.

"Whatcha whispering about, Michael?" Uncle John asked midway through his conversation. "You know you're not supposed to keep secrets from your daddies. I want you both to be on your best behavior, and that means no shenanigans."

"Yes, Daddy." Michael giggled and nodded. "No shenanigans when the Daddies aren't around. We're most likely to get away with it in your absence, but we'll still behave because we're good Littles. We were just whispering about how fun our first sleepover is going to be and how well we’re going to behave."

When Michael elbowed me with a forced smile, I agreed with him. "Uh-huh, we'll receive nothing but kisses and rewards for our behavior when you come back tonight."

The truth was, I was far more excited about the sleepover tonight than I had anticipated. Initially, I was scared to stay away from Daddy for so long, but knowing that I'll be in his loving arms at the end of the day made it easier. I knew Daddy wouldn't leave me for the world and that being abandoned was just an unreasonable fear I had due to my unloving upbringing.

When the doorbell rang, Michael jumped in surprise and then sighed.

When our Daddies went to answer the door, he whispered again. "Here goes nothing. I hope I don't end up with a sore bottom like last time when this night ends. Apart from being mean, Kristen blamed all her mistakes on me the last time we were alone. I'm too nice to get someone in trouble, so I took the blame hoping it was a one-off thing."

He truly feared Kristen, which instantly became confusing the moment I lay eyes on her. She walked towards us with a bright smile on her face. She was dressed in hip clothes and looked like a teenager who was too eager to grow up.

"Aw, don't you both look adorable dressed in onesies!" She bent over, patted our heads, and then pinched our cheeks.

I giggled at the compliment but Michael's expressions were dead serious. It was enough to convince me that Michael must've misread her intentions or something.

"I'm Jenna." I stuck my arm out and she eagerly shook it.

"I'm gonna call you cutie instead. God, Littles are so adorable."

Michael crossed his arms, scoffed, and rolled his eyes. He wasn't buying any of it.

Daddy looked at his watch and bent over to give me a quick peck on the lips. "Have a great time and be a good girl for Daddy."

"You too," I said joyfully as uncle John kissed Michael goodbye.

The moment our Daddies left Kristen closed the front door. Suddenly there was fear in Michael's eyes. The poor boy was worrying for no reason.

Kristen walked over to us and sat next to Michael, sticking her hand out. "Listen, Michael. I know there were misunderstandings last time as to who was responsible for what. Let's just both agree that mistakes were made by both parties and move on."

"Both parties?" Michael's jaw dropped as he shook his head in disbelief, his eyebrows joining to form a frown. "I'm naughty too sometimes, but at least I don't go to extremes by being mean. And I definitely don't blame it all on someone else who had no involvement whatsoever. My bottom was sore that day and I could've told Daddy the truth, but that's how I am. I took spankings that day to save you from being spanked by your Daddy. I'd rather bear pain than see someone else in pain, but what do I get in return? More pain probably, seeing how you're gonna do it again and get me in trouble one way or another tonight."

"Aw, forgive her, Michael." I rubbed his back and put an arm around his shoulder. "She says she's sorry. Didn't you tell me once that forgiveness and second chances were important for people to change, that they were some of the best qualities one could have? Besides, we're gonna have a sleepover tonight and there's no room for unfriendliness at sleepovers. Everyone knows that."

Michael's frown slowly faded away as he thought for a while, finally rolling his eyes and shaking her hand. "God, I know I'm already going to regret this, but just in case you've had a change of heart, I forgive you, Kristen. It'll probably take a long time for me to get over your betrayal, but… Oh, who am I kidding? I'm in my Little headspace and if you meant what you said, it's all water under the bridge."

He gave her a quick hug with a smile before continuing. "Well, if you don't mind, Jenna and I are gonna play in the nursery. I'd ask you to join, but you're a Middle and you'd find our toys boring."

"Sure, just call me if you need anything." She stood up and walked over to the couch. "I'll just sit here and watch TV. Tell me when you're done and we can play hide and seek together."

Taking my hand, Michael rushed me upstairs until we were in the nursery.

"What's the hurry?" I asked when he finally let go of my hand.

"Well, you don't want to stay in her sight for too long." Michael pulled up a toy bin and started lining up some of the toys. "That's when she starts coming up with ideas to get you in trouble."

"What?" I couldn't believe him. "But you just forgave her."

He sighed and put the wolf figurine in his hand onto his lap. "I want to believe her, and maybe she truly has changed. But I need to be careful until I'm absolutely sure she's a better person now. Until then, I need to protect both my heart and my bottom from getting hurt again. It's painful to see someone you consider a friend betray you the way she did."

I waved a hand in the air. "You're overthinking things. I'm here to witness any mean thing she does this time. Our Daddies will have to listen to us over the words of a stranger."

We started playing with the toys, taking turns fighting each other's figurines. His were all wolves while mine were a combination of carnivores. Soon we switched over to coloring while we sucked on our binkies, occasionally taking them out to comment on our drawings and chat about our Daddies.

Just when we had finished cleaning up after ourselves, Kristen entered the nursery with a bottle in each hand.

"Who's ready for some warm milk?" She sat down on the floor before us. "I thought I should offer you something in addition to my apology."

"Whoa!" Michael eagerly took the bottle she handed and hugged it to feel its warmth against his chest. "There's nothing like having warm milk out of a bottle on a chilly evening. Thank you, Kristen."

I thanked her when she handed me my bottle. "Ah, yes. Warm milk comes next only to daddy's warm hugs."

"Hey, Jenna! Look what I can do!" Michael lay flat on the floor on his back and placed the bottle between his feet, grabbing onto it expertly as he moved his feet towards his mouth.

Michael was flexible, which wasn't a surprise considering he had a dancing pole installed at his home. Soon he put the bottle in his mouth while holding onto it with his feet. I cheered and clapped while he smiled looking at me from the corner of his eyes. When he simultaneously held it with his hands and began sucking on it, I put my bottle in my mouth and did the same.

A few gulps in, Michael rolled over and spat his milk onto the floor, wincing and shaking his head. Just as I was about to reach over to see if he was okay, I suddenly realized something was off with my milk and joined Michael in spitting it out, a small puddle of warm milk now sitting before us.

"There's more salt than milk in this." Michael's lower lip trembled and he looked like he would burst into tears any moment. "Why would you do this to us, Kristen? Drinking warm milk out of a bottle was my favorite thing to do each day, and now you've forever ruined it by giving me such a traumatic memory."

Kristen pursed her lips that turned into an evil laugh, soon throwing her head back and bursting out in hysterical laughter. "It was just a prank. Don't be such a baby about it. Oh, wait. You both are babies, after all, dressed in silly overalls and diapered up. What, are you gonna cry about it like babies?"

My jaw dropped as I slowly realized that Michael had been right all along. She was a bully who gained pleasure by being mean to others. She probably only wanted to babysit us so she can satiate her sick needs. That or it was all part of being in the Middle headspace, which wasn't a good enough reason to be mean as Michael said.

"God, it was so hard complimenting your matching overalls." She crossed her arms and scoffed. "The truth is you both are weirdos for drinking out of a bottle, wearing diapers, sucking on pacifiers, and crawling all the time. You think I'm mean, but it's only for your own good. Years from now when you realize how silly all of this is, you'll come and thank me."

She shifted her gaze between our shocked faces, a satisfied smile still on her face from being a bully. When she didn't get a reply from us, she just scoffed again and left the nursery, heading back downstairs.

Michael rubbed his tear-filled eyes, embarrassed to be seen crying. I instantly knew that he needed his Daddy right now. I could give him the next best thing, a friend, so I crawled over to him and threw my arms around him.

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Michael." I rocked us side to side and patted his back. "I shouldn't have trusted a stranger over you. She was mean, but you can't let her win by letting it get to your head. I used to think something's wrong with me, but Daddy came into my life and taught me that I'm perfect the way I am. Now I know the truth and nothing can change my mind. I'm sure your Daddy has taught you the same, so please know that nothing's wrong with you."

While I was acting calm, I was furious at Kristen for hurting my only friend that way. I had endured much harsher forms of hate and bullying, so Kristen's actions did nothing to hurt me. However, it hurt to see a friend being hurt. Friendship was such a beautiful thing for invoking such strong feelings of concern. I was glad I got to experience it after longing for it all my life.

When Michael broke the hug, he rubbed his red eyes and frowned. I had never seen him anywhere close to angry before, but he was now.

"I would have eventually moved on if she had only hurt me, but I can't bear to see a friend hurt," he said. "She can't keep getting away with this."

"She doesn't have to," I said. "You come up with naughty plans all the time, so why don't we get some sweet old revenge? I know I've said no to all of your naughty plans before, but it's time we make an exception just this once. After all, someone needs to teach her manners if her Daddy won't."

Michael eagerly nodded in agreement. "You're right. She got away with it the last time, but this time she won't because she hurt my friend too."

I wanted to tell him I was only hurt because she belittled him, but it didn't matter anymore. She was getting served tonight. I had to ensure Michael wouldn't get into trouble for this, so I was ready to take full responsibility if we happened to get caught.

He rubbed his hands together and laughed like a mad scientist. "She hurt us where it hurt the most, so we do the same to her."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

He crawled over to the walk-in closet and I followed. Once inside, I realized it was much bigger than I had expected. There were onesies, diapers, pull-ups, and all sorts of Little clothes. But on the other side were several realistic animal costumes.

Crawling over to the realistic gorilla costume, he stood up and grabbed it. "Don't they look so real? My friend, Elijah, gifted them to me. He has two Daddies who love him to death. I think he gifts me a lot because he misses hanging out with me. He lives in the woods six months of the year and the city for the rest of it. He has these huge pet bears he considers family, which is why he lives in the woods half of the year, to play with them when they’re not hibernating. You'll meet him when he's back living in the city soon. We'll all have playdates together and it's going to be epic."

He was lost deep in thought for a moment, shaking his head to bring him back to the present before he continued. "Anyway, I digress. Kristen is scared to death of gorillas, which I know makes no sense. Everyone knows gorillas are cute and cuddly. God, I wish I could cuddle one, but Daddy says all wild animals are dangerous. I know, right? Anything to keep me away from nature. They look scary to some, but they only want to be your friend. I digress again. So when Kirsten was a child, a baby gorilla charged at her. She screamed and cried, inconsolable for hours. It must've been trying to say hello or play, but Kristen is convinced to this day that it tried to attack her. Now just imagine how scared she'd be if she saw an adult gorilla charging at her."

I put a hand over my mouth in shock. "That sounds too much. Normally I would've said no, but she deserves it. She can't just go around being mean to everyone without facing any consequences."

He nodded. "Besides, not even grown-ups would be able to tell the difference between a costume and a real gorilla, so there's no way we'll get caught. When our Daddies find out, we just tell them it must've been a runaway from a nearby zoo."

"Are there zoos nearby?" My eyes widened in excitement. "I've never been to one."

He shrugged. "There must be. Why else would I hear birds chirping every morning? I go out to see if they're in the nearby trees, but I can never find one."

I giggled. "The birds would have to be chirping out of a megaphone for you to hear them from the zoo."

"Now, listen." He put his hands on my ear and began whispering loudly. "Here's what we're gonna do to get our revenge."

I nodded and felt my heart skip a beat. It would be the naughtiest thing I'd ever done but the rush it gave me was so exciting. It was probably the same rush that Kristen sought, but she was the one who started it all.

As part of our plan, we waited until it was completely dark outside. Soon I was by the main switch looking at the watch Michael had given me. When it was time, I turned the power off to the house and tiptoed my way back to the living room in pitch darkness. Kristen was still sitting on the couch and she looked confused.

I continued tiptoeing my way to a spot by the stairs, where I could get the perfect view of all the action. To set our plan in motion, I jingled a set of keys in my pocket before throwing them on the floor.

"Who's there?" Kristen asked loudly, turning on the flash on her phone and moving it around.

It was Michael's cue, whom I now saw entering through the front door in dark, dressed in the gorilla costume. If I hadn't known it was Michael, I would be wetting my diapers right then and there.

When Kristen shone the light on him, he was standing on his legs and closing the door with his hands like a human. I shook my head in disbelief. He was supposed to act like an animal but instead, he seemed to still be in his Little headspace.

Thankfully, when he turned around and saw Kristen, he slipped into his role and instantly began beating his chest wildly. Swiftly getting down on all fours, he roared and screamed deafeningly before charging at a horrified Kristen.

The distance between them was enough for Kristen to realize what was going on and quickly react. She just sat there screaming at the top of her lungs for a moment, then jumping out of the couch and running up the stairs like her life depended on it.

When I saw her run into the nursery and lock herself in, I felt slightly bad for what we had done. She probably went in there thinking we were still in the nursery, possibly trying to save us from a threat like a good babysitter. It made me wonder if being mean and cruel was truly part of her middle personality, or if it was just an act to mask deeper issues.

Michael rushed to the main switch and turned the power back on. When he walked into the living room and crawled up to me, I sat on the floor. When he removed the head of the costume, he was smiling ear to ear. He gave me a high-five and then took a seat next to me.

"God, it feels so good to be naughty." He giggled and then put the back of his hand on his forehead dramatically. "Why should I be a good boy when being naughty feels so much better? It's like a hundred degrees in this costume, but it was so worth it."

I laughed at his antics and shook my head. "This is totally a one-off thing, though. Revenge felt so good, but if we continue down this path, soon we won't be able to distinguish between good and evil just like Kristen."

He rolled his eyes. "As if I'd ever go this extreme with my pranks if she wasn't such a jerk. Now, do you want to help me hide the evidence?"

We rushed up to Michael's room where he got out of the costume and hid it under the bed. Then we practiced our lines once more for when our Daddies arrived. There was a lot of time before they would come home, so we went downstairs and watched cartoons on the TV.

Michael lay on his tummy with his head in his hands, unconcerned and singing a lullaby when the ads came on. He was used to being naughty, but it was my first time.

Despite it being a perfect crime, I couldn't help but worry about getting caught. "I'm not very good at lying, Michael. Do you think we can get away with this?"

"Oh?" he said, pushing off the floor and sitting next to me. "You could read off a script if you're worried about forgetting your lines. Do you want to go over the lines once more? Or do you want me to do all the talking?"

Before I could reply, our Daddies barged through the front door with concerned looks on their faces.

"Oh, Jenna!" Daddy ran towards me and scooped me up in his arms, laying dozens of kisses all over my face. "Thank God you're safe. I was worried sick that something must've happened to you. We drove here as fast as we could when Kristen called us. Where's the gorilla? Did you call 9-1-1?"

By then, Michael was in uncle John's arms, gently being rocked back and forth. We hadn't taken into account the possibility of Kristen calling them up and worrying unnecessarily. I felt horrible for worrying them for no good reason. If the tables were turned, I would've cried my eyes out worrying about Daddy’s safety.

"We saw it leave after Kristen locked herself in the nursery," Michael said when I was too lost to say my lines. "I would've said hello and fed it some bananas, but it was in a hurry. It looked like it just needed some hugs and pets, but Kristen scared it away. I would've made friends otherwise."

"You'll do no such thing, young man," uncle John scolded. "We've talked about this a hundred times, Michael. When a wild animal approaches, you run."

"Where did the gorilla even come from?" Daddy asked as they carried us upstairs. "There aren't even any zoos around here."

When Michael cleared his throat and looked at me expectantly, I robotically spoke the lines he had prepared for me. "We were so worried about Kristen when we saw her run upstairs. We're just glad she's safe and nothing happened to her. We wouldn't be able to live with ourselves had we failed to protect her. Thank God I had Michael right by my side where I could see him, so I didn't have to worry about his safety too."

By the time it was Michael's turn to show some sympathy and imply that we were each other's alibi, Daddy pushed open the nursery door. Kristen stood in the middle of the nursery. We expected her to look scared, reflecting upon her rude behavior and how it was all karma for being mean to us, but instead, she looked furious.

"Oh, Kristen." Michael extended his arms toward her to give her a hug but she stood there giving us both cold glances. "Thank God you're alright. I know this is the second time you've been chased by a gorilla, but you've got to give them a third chance. They probably just want a hug, so try cuddling one the next time a gorilla comes charging at you. All I ask is that you give wild animals another chance. They’re just looking for a friend to hug."

Kristen scoffed and slapped Michael's hands away, rushing to the walk-in closet and returning with a life-like bear costume. "The walk-in closet was open when the power came back on, so I walked in and found a bunch of animal costumes. It was you, wasn't it? You knew I'm scared of gorillas so you dressed up as one to scare the daylights out of me."

Busted! Our Daddies looked at each other in disbelief.

I began shivering in daddy's arms worried about the consequences. It was supposed to be a foolproof plan and we would've gotten away with it, but we were so excited that we left clues behind.

I had to take full responsibility considering it was my idea to teach Kristen a lesson. I just couldn't bear to watch Michael get bullied. Maybe it had something to do with me being bullied all my life. After escaping that traumatic life, maybe I saw myself in Michael when Kristen bullied him. While back then I couldn't do anything about it, now I could.

Kristen crossed her arms as she continued, her furious expression turning into a calm and loving one, albeit a fake one. "I've looked after you like a brother and I've done nothing to deserve the cruel joke you've played on me. Everyone knows I have a big heart, so I'm willing to forgive you if you apologize."

Silence loomed in the room as all of us just stood there in disbelief.

"Wait," uncle John said as he shook his head. "You don't know Michael like I do. Sure, he's the naughtiest boy I know but I love him just the same. I wouldn't change a thing about him because it's just who he is. But surely, you're mistaken, Kristen. Even Michael wouldn't go that far with his pranks. He's always been careful not to hurt or scare someone because deep down, he's a very good boy "

When Michael looked to the floor disappointed in his actions, I just couldn't watch him suffer like that. Friendship was such a beautiful thing and if it meant taking his pain away, then so be it. He shouldn't blame himself, nor should he have to face the consequences for something I suggested.

"Michael had nothing to do with this." I gulped and then continued. "In fact, it was…"

"No," Michael interrupted as he realized I was taking all the blame, looking up at his Daddy with big apologetic eyes. "Kristen is right, Daddy. I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't realize how far I was going until it was too late. When Jenna was downstairs, I got dressed in the gorilla costume, cut the power, and scared Kristen. Then I convinced Jenna to be my alibi."

Turning to a smirking Kristen, he put his head down and spoke quietly. "I'm ashamed of my actions and I hope you forgive me, Kristen. I promise it won't happen again."

Walking over to Michael, she ruffled his hair with a gleeful smile. She could hardly contain her happiness knowing he was going to get his bottom busted.

Michael turned back to his Daddy and put his head on his shoulder, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. "I'm sorry I disappointed you, Daddy. I hope you can forgive me too."

I could hardly believe Michael's self-sacrifice. He was willing to go through physical pain just to save me from it, something I was willing to do for him too. Never had I seen such an act of friendship towards me, so naturally it brought a tear to my eye.

"Oh, Little one." Uncle John frowned and clicked his tongue. "You aren't getting away with an apology this time. You've earned yourself some spanks and I don't mean the fun kind. It hurts me more than it hurts you, but I hope you remember them the next time you decide to go too far. Grab yourself a paddle and follow me into the bedroom. I haven't used a paddle in months but it's important to teach you a lesson."

I mouthed thank you and he nodded ever so slightly. He stood on the floor when Uncle John let him out of his arms, still finding it hard to look his Daddy in the eye as his eyes turned red and he began to sniffle. He was too embarrassed to cry before us.

"Sorry, Daddy," he managed to say with a shaky voice.

Rushing to the dresser, he grabbed the paddle out of the drawer and handed it to his Daddy. He held onto his daddy's hand and looked away in embarrassment. He didn't want us to see him crying.

Uncle John led him out of the nursery but Michael was walking so slowly he was barely moving. Who could've blamed him? Receiving punishment wasn't exactly exciting or something to look forward to.

"Let's wait downstairs," Daddy said when they left. "I don't know if the sleepover is still on."

Instead of carrying me downstairs, Daddy led me by hand and Kristen followed. Soon they sat on the couch while I paced around the living room nervously. Occasionally I would stop in my tracks and give Kristen a death stare, but it didn't affect her. She looked pleased with herself for getting Michael punished.

When I looked over to Daddy, he was staring at me with narrow suspicious eyes. Did he somehow know that I was equally responsible? He did seem awfully quiet and distant. Maybe it was the guilty expression on my face. I smiled sheepishly at him before continuing to pace around.

The spankings were so loud we could hear them downstairs along with Michael's counting and whimpers. Soon they joined us downstairs, Michael's hand covering his bottom as he occasionally winced. Imagining his pain caused me to wince too.

Michael trailed behind his Daddy, walking ever so slowly from a sore bottom. His free hand rubbed his red eyes and the poor boy was still looking to the floor. I wanted to run to my dear friend and throw my arms around him, to tell him that I didn't think of him any less, that in truth he was a hero and I was cowardly for letting him suffer for my mistake.

I looked to Daddy for guidance and when he nodded, I ran to Michael and gave him a tight hug before whispering. "I'm sorry, Michael. Thank you for being such a good friend."

When I broke the hug, he briefly smiled through his tears before continuing to sniffle as his lower lip wobbled. The pain probably wasn't as bad as I imagined, but everything was amplified when in a Little headspace. Not just joy, but also pain. sorrow and embarrassment.

Uncle John cleared his throat as he took a seat on the couch. "Since Michael decided to be bad today, I can no longer let him have a sleepover. Kristen, I'm very sorry you had to go through this and I hope you forgive my boy. I'll ring up your daddy and apologize to him too. He'll come pick you up. As for you, Jenna. I hope you've learned something from this today. There's a difference between being naughty and being mean. What Michael did today was the latter. Michael's grounded but once he's back to being good again, you can have a sleepover."

I fidgeted with my fingers and feet. I wanted to tell uncle John that it was Kristen who was mean to us, that what Michael did was extreme but justified, that he was only being a good friend. But instead, I decided I'd set the record straight later on when emotions weren't running so high in the room.

We bid everyone goodbye and soon we were on the road heading back home. I was lost deep in my thoughts, restless about the injustice. Halfway through I realized Daddy hadn't said a word to me.

"How was your night, Daddy?" I asked, just to see if he was still talking to me.

"It was going great," he said with no expressions whatsoever. "But then somebody decided to be naughty and we had to come back home because of a nonexistent threat. You know how I feel about lying."

I gaped at him, surprised at his use of the word somebody instead of Michael. He probably wasn't convinced that I had nothing to do with this. Blood froze in my veins as I pictured being punished when we reached home. I could probably end up having a sore bottom and teary eyes soon. My best bet was to jump into bed the moment we reached home and pretend to be asleep. There was no point in being brave and taking the punishment when Michael had taken the blame.

My heart raced in my chest as I pictured Daddy smacking my bottom in a not-the-fun kind, as uncle John had put it. Physical pain itself wasn't as scary as the possibility of Daddy hating me. I had seen the disappointment in uncle John's eyes over his boy's behavior and I couldn't bear to see it in Daddy's eyes over my mistakes.

Maybe he wouldn't hate me if I willingly told him the truth and begged for his forgiveness. To confess or not was now the predicament.