Willow by Erin Osborne
Chapter Six
Trinity ‘Willow’ Walsh
LAST NIGHT WASN’T good. I tossed and turned all night long and didn’t sleep hardly at all. Then, as soon as I did wake up from my light sleep, I had to rush to the bathroom to get sick. Bags fill under my eyes as I look in the mirror while brushing my teeth. As soon as I’m done, I start the shower to get washed up before making breakfast for my gram and heading to Legacies. I’ve got to return the SUV to them and make sure Tonya knows I’m going to start looking for another job. There isn’t much to do here in town, but I should be able to find something. It’s an entire day I’m not looking forward to.
After dressing in a pair of sweats and a sports bra, I put a tank top on over it so I can go down and make eggs and toast for my grandma. She’s used to me wearing sweats and sports bras at the house because we don’t ever get visitors or anything. When I clean, I wear old clothes and there is nothing I’m more comfortable in than shorts, sweats, or tank tops because I can do whatever in them and not worry about what I look like. Now, going to Legacies to practice dancing, I can wear the same clothes while I dance and move around the stage. The only thing I’m going to add is a pair of short spandex shorts I can dance in. There is no doubt in my mind about how hot it’s going to get on stage, and I don’t want to be in sweats when it happens.
“Good morning gram,” I greet my grandma as she shifts in her chair. “How did you sleep last night?”
“Good morning sweetheart. I slept okay. You start work today?”
“Yeah. Once I make you breakfast, I’m heading out. I’ll let Greta know to come check on you.”
“Okay. I’m not going to be doing anything other than sitting in my chair until I head back upstairs.”
“This is why Greta needs to know. She can get you lunch and dinner. I’m not gonna work if you aren’t going to eat while I’m gone. Besides, I shouldn’t be gone for very long. Before coming home I might stop at the store. Is there anything you want or need?”
“No. I’m okay sweetheart.”
Walking into the kitchen, I begin cooking for my gram. I hate feeling as if I’m lecturing her. She’s almost ninety-five and should do whatever the hell she wants. However, not eating is not something she needs to be doing. She needs to eat and make sure she takes her medicine. Which I grab with her glass of orange juice as the toast and eggs cook. Standing next to her, I wait until I know she’s swallowed them before going back to finish cooking and plating up our food. As usual, I sit down next to her on the couch, and we eat together. These moments are ones I can’t ever get back with her. I cherish them and will always remember the time I got to spend with her long after she’s gone.
When we’re done eating, I take our plates in the kitchen and rinse them off before putting them in the dishwasher. I don’t have the patience to hand wash them today because it’s going to be long and hard enough as it is. Once I have the dishes in the dishwasher, I walk back out and place a kiss on my grandma’s cheek noticing how pale she is compared to normal. Maybe I should stay home with her to make sure she’s okay.
“Don’t even think about it young lady,” she scolds me, her voice full of humor and concern. “I see the look on your face and know what it means. You’re going to work and not going to lose this job because you’re more worried about me than anything else.”
“Fine gram. I’ll go to work,” I tell her laughing a little bit.
Leaving the house, I make my way out and across the yard to Greta’s house. She immediately opens the door. Greta is in her late forties or early fifties and usually watches over my grandma if I have something going on. Once in a blue moon she’ll take her to an appointment if I can’t get out of work or something, but I try not to impose on the woman. She’s been our neighbor for the last ten years and is alone. Her children are grown and out on their own while her husband died a few years ago. It was sudden. That’s when I helped her through her grief, cleaning her house and cooking for her. Now, she helps out whenever possible because she feels as if she owes us a debt or something for me helping her out.
“What can I do for you?” Greta asks me, her voice bright and cheerful as normal.
“I start a new job today. Until I’m done with training I’ll have to go in during the day. Can you keep an eye on gram while I’m gone and make sure she gets lunch? I shouldn’t be gone more than a few hours for work. When I switch to nights, I won’t necessarily need anyone to watch over her for now. Unless something happens to her health wise,” I ask her, hoping she says yes.
“Of course I can. You know I have no problem helping you guys out at any time you need me. I’ll go over soon and sit with her for a while. Then, I’ll make sure she eats her lunch.”
“Thank you so much,” I tell her, turning and heading over to the SUV.
“You’re welcome,” Greta calls out as I move to the vehicle I won’t have after I get to Legacies.
The ride is short as I roll the windows down and let the cool, fresh air fill the interior with the music playing. Today, Hurt by Sevendust is playing as I make my way into the parking lot of the strip club. No one said anything about parking anywhere else, so I stop at the front of the building where Tonya’s truck is once again parked at the end of the bikes. This song fits my life to a tee, and I listen to it on the days where I’m getting lost in my own head. Or when I’m just sitting down in my room, and everything is overwhelming me. There is no way I can’t listen to this song right now.
After turning the radio down and rolling up the windows, I shut the engine off and pull the keys out so I can give them back to someone from the club or Tonya. Walking in the door of the club, Breaker and Crave are sitting at the bar with several men. Several women also stand around them, leaning on some of them while the group all talks and laughs together. Not a single one of them pay me any attention as I slowly make my way to the stage and begin to stretch out before this Heaven person gets here and we begin dancing. There is no way in hell I’m going to dance without stretching and risk hurting myself before I even begin working.
Pulling out my phone, I also grab my headphones. Placing my headphones in, I make sure they’re connected to my phone before turning on my playlist. Yes, I’m listening to the same song as in the SUV. With the volume turned up, I don’t hear anything going on around me. the last thing I want to see or hear are Breaker and Crave flirting and finding a piece of ass while I have so much other shit going on. They’ve wormed their way under my skin after seeing and talking to them for a few minutes at most. Yeah, it’s more than that with Crave, but at the end of the day, there is nothing significant that’s happened between the three of us. Unless you count being pregnant with Crave’s baby without him having any knowledge of it. With my back turned to the group at the bar, I focus on my music and loosening up my body.
I’m almost done stretching out and warming up when there’s a tap on my shoulder. I jump and turn my head to find Tonya and another woman standing behind me. Pulling out my headphones, I give Tonya a small smile before turning to face the new woman.
“Heaven, this is Trinity. She’s our new dancer. Go through your practice and then meet me in the office Trinity,” Tonya says, making the introductions.
“Okay. It’s nice to meet you Heaven,” I tell her, putting my phone and headphones in the pocket of my sweatpants.
I make sure to unplug the headphones in case Greta needs to get a hold of me. Even though music will be playing, and I’ll be dancing on the stage, I’ll still hopefully hear my phone since I’m not that far from it. No one knows where I’m working so there is no way in hell they’d call here for me.
“I’m glad to see you’ve already warmed up and stretched out. Why don’t we start with you showing me what you can do, and we’ll go from there?” Heaven asks.
“You’re the boss,” I say, standing up and waiting for Heaven to turn on some music.
We spend the next two hours dancing and Heaven showing me how to incorporate using the pole in my dance routines. It’s hard as fuck to ignore the men at the bar when I can feel their eyes not moving from me as I move around the stage. I’m covered in sweat, tired, and not sure how long this is going to take for me to actually get on stage for work, but I’m going to do whatever it takes for me make this work. So much is going to change, and I know it will take some time for me to get a handle on taking care of everything. In the meantime, I’ll be exhausted for a while until I get on top of everything.
“That’s enough for today. You’re doing really good, Trinity. Tomorrow we’ll see what else you can do, and I’ll let Tonya know what’s going on as far as you getting on stage,” Heaven tells me, her voice filled with pride. “Make sure you go see her before you head out.”
“I’m on my way there now. Thank you so much Heaven.”
Grabbing my things, I head for Tonya’s office. Heaven let me know where it was before making her way to the bar where everyone is still sitting. Other than a few seconds, I don’t pay attention to the men and women sitting at the bar. Especially Crave. He’s made it perfectly clear he wants nothing to do with me. Stopping outside the office door, I knock and wait for Tonya to let me know it’s okay to come in. When she calls out, I head inside to finish filling out the forms or whatever and hand over the keys to the SUV. I’m not going to accept it.
“Good practice,” Tonya says, as soon as I walk in the office and stop in front of her desk.
“Um, I’m sorry I didn’t see you out there watching.”
“I wasn’t. I was in here. Cameras are all over the place and I can see every part of the main floor. Look, I don’t normally get involved in the lives of my dancers when it’s obvious they don’t want to talk about themselves. However, I couldn’t help but notice you not paying attention to the men at the bar. Just like I saw you glance their way when you walked in and I noticed the hurt that came over your face when you spotted the large group of them talking and laughing. After what you told me, is one of those guys out there the father?” Tonya asks me, her voice filled with concern.
“I’d rather not answer. Tonya, there’s a lot going on and this is just one part of my life right now. He’s going to be told about the baby as soon as I find the right time. I just need a few days. Can I sign the papers you need so I can get home?”
“Of course. Make sure you tell him. No matter what’s going on he has a right to know he’s about to be a dad. I’m not going to pressure you about doing anything. These guys are my family, and I will protect them at all costs. You’re not ready to let us in and that’s okay. Please don’t let this go on for too long,” Tonya tells me, her voice stern and I don’t miss the warning. “Here are the papers you need to sign. It’s just two. One is for taxes while the other one is showing you understand what’s expected of you and what we’ll cover and not cover as far as uniforms.”
Signing my name and filling out the necessary information, I slide them back across the desk to my new boss. I’m not going to talk to her about looking for another job just yet. I have to think about things more. However, I do pull my sweats up over my shorts and reach into the pocket. Grabbing the keys for the SUV from my pocket, I set them on the desk and slide them across the table toward Tonya.
“What’s this?” she asks, her voice full of confusion.
“The keys to the SUV Breaker and Crave dropped off to me last night. I don’t need it,” I tell her, not sure what’s going on that she doesn’t know about me getting one of the vehicles from the club.
“Why are you giving them back?”
“I don’t need them. I appreciate the offer, but I can wait for my car to be done. Then I’ll make sure I put a portion of all my checks toward the cost. Have a good day, Tonya,” I tell her, turning on my heel and leaving the office before heading out of the club.
Walking straight through, I don’t say a word to anyone sitting at the bar. As I leave the club, I slide my tank top back on and begin walking home. It’s definitely going to take me a while to get there, but I don’t want to feel indebted to the club any more than I currently do. Pulling out my phone, I plug my headphones in before turning on my music. A short way down from the club, I begin to jog. I can still workout even though I’m pregnant. At least I think I can. I really need to get in to see a doctor about the pregnancy and make sure everything is okay.
Just before I get home, the roar of engines fills the air. It vibrates the ground under my feet. I don’t slow down since I’m a street away from home. Just a little bit farther to go and I’ll be home where I can get a drink and take a shower before worrying about anything else. However, the bikes slow down and pull up on either side of me. Turning my head from one side to the other, I take in Breaker and Crave as they slow their speed down but don’t stop. I do stop jogging and begin walking between them. There is no sense in trying to talk because their bikes are so damn loud. Even with my headphones in, the rumble of their bikes are drowning out my music. They trail me the rest of the way to the house and park in the driveway.
Pulling out my headphones, I keep moving and walk up the steps to the porch. When I go to open the door, the air around me suddenly goes silent. I know the men didn’t ride off, but I don’t look back either. Heading inside, I come to a complete stop. The TV is still playing but Greta is nowhere to be found. What I do see is my gram lying on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. Rushing to her side, she’s not moving.
“Gram!” I call out as the sound of boots racing closer to me.
Blood covers the floor of beneath my grandma and she’s not waking up. I continue to call out her name and don’t pay attention to Breaker or Crave. Not until Breaker kneels down next to me. He places his fingers at my grandma’s pulse point and nods his head to me without saying a word. Distantly I can hear Crave talking on the phone to someone behind us. He’s right behind me but I can’t care about him. All I care about is my gram.
“The ambulance is on the way, Trin. They’ll get your grandma taken care of and find out what’s wrong with her,” Crave assures me, finally resting his hand on my shoulder.
“Thank you,” I tell him, my voice wavering as tears begin pouring down my face.
Time seems to slow down and speed up at the same time. I don’t leave my grandma’s side as we wait. Breaker and Crave don’t leave my side. When the paramedics rush into the house, Crave pulls me back away from my gram as they begin working on her. never taking my eyes off them, I watch every single thing they do. The words they’re saying don’t even penetrate my brain. As they load her up on the gurney, Crave nudges me.
“Will you be following us to the hospital miss?” one of the paramedics asks me.
“Can’t I ride along with her? I don’t want to leave her side.”
“Of course you can.”
Following the paramedics from the house, I wait for them to load my gram in the back of the ambulance. Once she’s locked in, I climb in the back and forget all about Breaker and Crave. On the way to the hospital, I hold my gram’s hand even though she’s still not waking up. The paramedic keeps working but I’m not sure what he’s doing and don’t take my eyes from the woman who has raised me and made sure I knew I was loved and taken care of since I was a baby. The tears continue falling down my face and hitting the floor of the ambulance.
When we pull up to the hospital, the paramedic lets me know to head to the waiting room to wait for the doctor’s to let me know what’s going on with her. I nod my head in response because the last thing I want is for anything to get in the way of my grandma being treated. As the back doors are opened up, I don’t bother waiting around to follow them inside; I’ll just be in the way. Walking to the waiting area, I stop at the desk to grab any paperwork I have to fill out for my grandma.
Sitting down alone, I bend my head down and begin filling out the paperwork. I deal with doctors and my grandma’s insurance so often, I don’t even need her card any longer to fill in the information. Tears fall down and hit the paperwork in my lap. Stopping filling it out, I close my eyes and tip my head down even further. My chin hits my chest and I let the tears fall freely not really caring where they hit or if they smudge anything I’ve already written.
“Baby girl don’t cry. Let’s get this paperwork filled out so we can sit back and relax while you wait on news,” Breaker’s voice fills the silence as he sits on one side of me and Crave sits on the opposite side.
“What are you doing here?” I ask them, looking between the two men.
“Weren’t gonna let you go through this shit alone,” Crave tells me as I pick up the pen and finish filling out the paperwork.
Walking up to the nurse’s station, I hand over the clipboard and papers I’ve filled out. As I go to turn around, the world spins and I begin to stumble and fall. Strong arms catch me as I look up to see Crave with his body wrapped around me, stopping me from hitting the floor.
“Miss, are you okay?” a nurse rushes to my side.
“I don’t know what happened,” I respond, still not feeling right.
“Get her back to an exam room,” the nurse orders as Crave picks me up in his arms and follows the woman to the rooms in back.
We stop in one of the first rooms and Crave lays me down on the bed. Breaker enters the room behind him and closes the door. The nurse begins taking my vitals, asking me a ton of questions. I don’t hesitate to answer any of them until she asks if I could be pregnant. Closing my eyes for a second, I take a deep breath before opening them up and avoiding looking at Crave. Nodding my head, I let her know I’m pregnant.
“Have you been to see a doctor?” the nurse asks me.
“No. I took a home test a few days ago,” I respond.
“Okay. I’ll make sure it’s marked down and let the doctor know. We’ll do a blood test to verify the pregnancy. I’m going to let the doctor know what’s going on and get him in here quickly. You’re also waiting on word of another patient?”
“I am. My grandma was brought in by ambulance.”
The nurse leaves the room, not sensing the tension filling the small exam room. Crave is pacing back and forth in the small area on the side of the bed while Breaker sits next to me on the opposite side. He’s holding my hand as my eyes lock on the man pacing. I’m sure he’s putting two and two together as he finally stops and looks at me. Anger fills his eyes while his face turns red and a vein begins popping out of his neck.
“You’re fuckin’ pregnant?” he practically yells out.
“I am. I just found out a few days ago,” I answer him, my voice quiet.
Without another word, the big biker storms out of the room. Breaker looks from him to me but remains sitting by my side. Closing my eyes, I lay my head back and wait for the doctor to come in my room. Breaker thankfully doesn’t say anything but keeps me company. This day couldn’t get worse than it already is. Well, I hope it doesn’t at any rate. I can’t take much more.
