Willow by Erin Osborne
Chapter Twelve
Trinity ‘Willow’ Walsh
I CAN’T BELIEVE Crave and Breaker. They’re going to move into my home because of something going on with the club. Crave fucking hates me and wants nothing to do with me. He can stay at the clubhouse because there is no reason for him to be with my gram or me. I doubt he’d do much to protect me anyway. Breaker is a pushy fucker. While he’s not hostile toward me, he doesn’t exactly need to be here either. I don’t understand why these two can’t just stay away from me or send someone else over to watch over the house. Like someone who doesn’t come inside the house and leaves me the hell alone. Neither one of these men will leave me alone, that’s about the only thing I’m sure of.
Knowing I’m not going to get anywhere with these two, I turn my head to face out the window on the drive to my house. I don’t want to look at either one of them, and I’m not sure I’ll ever want to look at them again. Before I know it, Crave is pulling in the driveway. Making sure my clothes are on right with the rush I put them on, I get out of the SUV and head straight for the front door. I know one of the ol’ ladies have been here with my gram, but I need to lay eyes on her to make sure she’s doing okay.
Paislie got here just after I had finished eating breakfast and had gram in the living room. I let the young woman know I’d already given her the meds she takes in the morning, and she’d already eaten before walking out the door and getting a ride to the club with her man. His name is Vanish and he didn’t say two words to me on the ride or when I thanked him. All I got in response was a chin lift. These bikers sure know how to be quiet when they want to be. Stepping through the door, I close it and hear the unmistakable sound of one of the guys running into it behind me. I guess they weren’t expecting me to shut them out.
“Gram, I’m home,” I say, entering the living room to find Paislie and my gram talking about something.
My gram has one of her picture albums in her lap as Paislie sits next to her looking over the pictures. I know exactly which book is in her hands based on the small amount of color I see on the edge. She’s showing off pictures of my mom, dad, and me as a baby. Tears fill my eyes as I step closer and see the picture of my parents, my mom heavily pregnant with me. They’re both smiling in this picture. My mom’s head is thrown back as if she’s laughing at something being said by someone not in the picture with them. It could have very well been my gram who made her laugh like that. Gram is my mom’s mother and loved her with every fiber of her being. She’s always told me stories of my mom and added my father later on when he came into the picture.
Apparently, they met in my mom’s first year of school. She fell head over heels in love with my dad the second she saw him. For my dad it took a while longer to even notice my mom. Not for her lack of trying though if the stories my grandma have told me over the years are to be believed. My dad was focused on school and getting the grades his parents demanded of him. It wasn’t until my mom joined one of his study groups that they began to date, and he fell in love. Within a month of them dating, my mom found out she was pregnant. Instead of running from the situation, my dad stepped up and stood by her side despite his parents threatening to cut him out of their will. He didn’t care about their money. All he wanted was to be by my mom and welcome me into the world.
My parents were the first people to leave me. They went out a week after I was born. All they were doing was running to the store for some groceries and things for me while I stayed in this very house with my gram. A drunk driver hit them in the middle of the day, and they were both killed on impact. Instead of letting me go into the system to be raised by strangers who might not have had the best intentions for me, my gram fought tooth and nail to keep me and raise me. I’m thankful every single day for her stepping up to raise me and teach me to follow in the same path as my mom and dad. The only difference is everyone I’ve ever thought of as a friend or anyone I’ve cared about has turned their back on me and walked away. I’m sure they had their reasons, but it doesn’t mean it hasn’t hurt me and taught me it’s not worth it to let anyone get close to me.
“Hi honey,” my gram greets me, a smile on her face as she turns from Paislie.
“How’s your day been so far?”
“It’s been good. Paislie has been keeping me company. We were looking at pictures,” she says, turning her attention back to the woman sitting next to her. “How was work?”
“It was okay. I’m gonna go in and make you some lunch before I get started on the housework,” I inform her. “Thank you, Paislie. It was nice of you to sit here with her.”
Walking into the kitchen, I hear murmured conversation between my gram, Paislie, and the men. I’m just going to suck it up and do my best to ignore them. Pulling out what I need to make her a sandwich and an apple from the refrigerator, I stand in front of the counter for a minute. Strong arms wrap around my middle and pull me back into a hard body. Breaker. He smells of leather, oil, and a slight citrus scent. I’m not sure what it is, but I don’t act like it matters to me. Instead of savoring the strength and feeling of safety coming from him, I hold my body tight and rigid.
“You can’t ignore me forever, Trin. We’ll be livin’ under the same roof,” he says, his hot breath brushing against my ear and neck as he leans in closer to place a kiss against my neck.
A tremor runs through my body making it difficult to hold myself away from him. However, I’m not like the rest of the women who fall at his feet and let him have their way with them. The night I spent with Crave was a one off and not something I’ve ever done before in my life. Hell, I can’t count on one hand the number of men I’ve been with and still have fingers left over.
“You’re staying here because of some club business. Nothing is going to happen between us. I can assure you of that. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have to feed my grandma and start cleaning,” I state, trying to pull away from him.
“Where’s your lunch?” Crave asks, standing between the living room and kitchen. “You’re pregnant and need to take care of yourself as much as you’re takin’ care of your gram.”
I gasp because my grandma doesn’t know yet. There hasn’t been time to tell her of my pregnancy. Darting my eyes to my gram, she looks up at me with shock on her face and tears in her eyes. The smile she had seconds ago fades away as she stares at me with her mouth hanging open.
“You’re pregnant?” she asks, her voice almost a whisper.
Racing from the kitchen, I drop down in front of my gram and look at her. No words will come forth as I try to tell her what happened. Well, not all the details obviously.
“I’m so sorry, gram. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out,” I tell her, crying as my voice wavers.
“Why don’t we go into my room to talk about this,” she says, her voice raising slightly.
Nodding my head, I turn to glare at Crave while ignoring Paislie, her man, and Breaker. Standing up, I get behind my gram and release the breaks on her chair before pushing her through the hallway and into her bedroom. Closing the door behind me, I wheel her toward the bed and help her in before sitting down in the empty wheelchair right next to her.
“How did this happen?” she asks, trying to get comfortable on her bed. “I mean, I know how you got pregnant. When?”
“Remember that night I went out. It was my birthday,” I tell her, my voice turning to a whisper. “I met Crave while we were both drinking alone. After talking for a while at the bar, I went to a motel with him. One of the condoms broke. I just found out a little while ago I was pregnant. I’m three months now”
“That biker out there with the hate filled voice is the dad?”
“Yes, gram. I’m so sorry. I never wanted to disappoint you.”
“Shush child. You could never disappoint me. Well, I take that back. The only time you ever disappoint me is when you’re holding yourself back the way you do. You don’t let anyone in. Don’t let them get to know you or anything. Why?”
“You know why gram. Besides, Crave doesn’t want anything to do with me or the baby. I’m perfectly capable and happy to raise my son or daughter on my own. You did it and were a great role model for me. I love you so much gram and I never want to do anything to hurt or disappoint you,” I tell her, the tears still flowing from my eyes as she opens her arms for me to go to her.
“I love you more than anything in this world, Trinity. There is no reason for you to be all alone in life. Let those men in. I know you feel something for them. The same as they feel for you. It’s not wrong or any reason for you not to talk to them and see if you can make things work. Crave let me know him and Breaker will be staying here for a little while. It’s the perfect time for you to be getting to know one another and decide what you want,” she tells me, holding me close to her.
“Gram, I couldn’t stand it if they left too. It’s the only thing I know in life and it’s kind of hard to break free from knowing one day they’re going to leave me. Mom and dad left. All of my friends. No one stays long term no matter what they say,” I tell her, closing my eyes as I continue to lean on my grandma.
“Sleep child. All will be well when you wake up.”
Sleep claims me as I lay held by my grandma. My dreams are filled with two bikers who won’t leave me alone.
Waking up, my gram is sitting up in her bed watching her shows. She looks down at me with a smile on her face. Sitting up, I rub the sleep from my eyes and get out of her bed. I’ve been crowding her, and I know she wasn’t comfortable. However, I’ve been a bad granddaughter and caregiver to her.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her, trying not to let myself cry. “I didn’t make your lunch. I’ll get started on something now.”
“Don’t worry about it. Breaker and Crave made sure I ate. Not as good as your sandwich, but I ate all the same. You didn’t move a single inch when they came in, when I turned on the TV, or anything else. Breaker and Crave sat in here talking to me a little bit and you still didn’t move. You need to take care of yourself Trin. Now, they’re waiting to talk to you. They’re making dinner too. I’m not sure what, but we’ll have something. How about you go talk to them and tonight we’ll all sit at the kitchen table,” she informs me as I nod my head and leave the room, closing her door part of the way behind me.
Crave and Breaker are in the kitchen. Breaker’s wearing nothing more than a pair of basketball shorts while Crave is wearing a pair of grey sweats and no shirt. Dammit! They’re not going to play fair.
“Sleepin’ Beauty, you’re awake,” Breaker jokes, walking over to me and placing a kiss on my temple.
“What are you guys making?”
“Spaghetti. It’s what your gram requested,” Crave answers, not leaving the stove. “Trinity, I’m sorry I spilled the news. I didn’t realize gram didn’t know. Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. You should both know something about why I am the way I am. I can’t let either one of you get close to me. See, when I was a week old, my parents were killed by a drunk driver. My gram had to fight to get custody of me and raise me so I wouldn’t be in the system. As I got older and started getting friends, forming relationships with other people, I let them get close to me. I’d go hang out with them; they’d come over here. I was in high school when my gram started getting sick. Nothing major, just her getting older. So, instead of going out, I started staying home to take care of her.
“My friends started to distance themselves from me because I wasn’t going out all the time or going boy crazy. The only boyfriend I had was in high school. He left for several reasons. Not only because I didn’t want to go spend countless hours watching him practice football and then go to his games on the weekend or hang out when he wasn’t at practice, but because I wouldn’t have sex with him. When I graduated from school, there was no party for me because I didn’t have anyone to invite to it. Then, instead of going to college, I stayed here to take care of my grandma. She sometimes forgets to take her medicine and other things. So, everyone I’ve ever cared about or loved has left me.
“From the time I was in high school, I’ve been alone. I’ve learned to stop counting on anyone to be there for me or to help with anything. Now, I’m pregnant by you, Crave, and you want nothing to do with me or the baby. That’s fine. Like I said, I have no problem being a single mom and I’m not going to come after you for anything. Breaker, I’m not sure why you’re so invested in my life all of a sudden. You’ve been there at the hospital and sat through the ultrasound with me. This baby is yours and I’m not going to force you have anything to do with him or her. Plus, you two have the power to absolutely destroy me to the point no one will be able to put me back together. Now you know why I’m not going to let you in and why I won’t get close to you. Why I won’t get close to anyone at the club. I’ll only be there until I can’t dance anymore,” I tell them, my voice wavering as Breaker wraps me in his arms.
“Why did you audition for the club knowin’ you’re pregnant?” Crave asks me, leaning against the counter with his muscular arms folded across his chest.
“On top of being pregnant and needing money to raise my son or daughter, I got notice from my gram’s insurance company. They’re not covering as much as they were for some of her medicines. I’ll be paying over five hundred dollars a month now instead of eighty. The only money we have coming in is her retirement and disability check. It’s not enough to cover everything. Now you know,” I answer, pulling from Breaker’s arms and putting some distance between us.
“That doesn’t work for me,” Breaker states, stepping up closer to him. “I’m goin’ to prove to you I’m not like the rest. Crave has his own demons he’s fightin’. They explain why he acts the way he does. But, he’s not ready to share with you just yet. For now, know I’m not goin’ to let you go. I’m gonna prove to you I’m here and I want to get to know you. You’re not forcin’ anythin’ on me just because I want you. I want you in my bed and in my life. Everyone in the club will be there for you if you let them. We’re not ones to let you go once we decide your part of the family.”
“We’ll see.”
Leaving the kitchen, I let the men cook dinner while I begin my routine of cleaning. I let Breaker’s words play in my mind on a loop. In reality, I want to believe him so much. Breaker doesn’t seem like he has to lie or say pretty words just to get in a woman’s pants. Time will tell what his true agenda is and what’s going to happen.
