Chapter 17 ~ Sofie Von Bayern

 

I heard horses arriving outside. It sounded as if an entire army was arriving. Was it my husband?

If it was, then he was furious with me because I’d escaped. Would he beat me to death? Would I mind? I had wanted to escape him.

I heard the strong, impatient knock on the convent door, and I knew it was my husband.

I got out of the warm bed and backed into the corner, feeling that it would give me the most protection. There was nowhere to turn to that might give me safety. That was the predominant feeling in my marriage. I wanted to feel safe, and I hadn’t in so long.

The door swung open, and my husband filled the doorway. His head was ducked down so he could step in.

Tears were running down my cheeks. I cursed them. It was wrong to show weakness. I knew that he would punish me, and that I needed my strength for it.

But then, he did something that broke down all of my barriers. He called out my name as if he loved me, and then he wrapped me in his arms and held me.

Not knowing where to turn to, I let him hold me. I let my body sink into his, wanting to be close to him, wanting to feel protected and finally safe as I cried.

The Mother closed the door and left us alone.

“Never leave me again,” he told me in a soft whisper, giving me the feeling that he had missed me. Me personally, and not his wife, his property.

“I’m afraid of you,” I whispered back to him.

“You should be. This is not going to go unpunished. But for now, I need to hold you in my arms. Terrible thoughts went through my head when I heard that you were gone.”

“Please, let me stay here. I want to stay here. I’m probably already pregnant. You could take the child once he’s born. But please raise him gently.”

“I’m not going to take a babe out of your arms. As truly as I stand here, no one will ever take a babe out of your arms, not as long as I live. I swear that to you.”

“But I want to stay here,” I whined, knowing that I was doing it, and that he would hate having to deal with a whining wife.

“Sofie, you are a stubborn fool, but if you admit that you have learned your lesson, I’ll go easier on you. I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t trust you. The first moment I turned my back on you, you proved that I can’t trust you by coming here. However, I do understand why you did it. Nevertheless, you are my wife. You need to be at Burkhart Castle for all to see you. I won’t have anyone doubting that I’m the father to any child you give life to. Do you understand that?”

“Yes, but I want to stay here and pray to God to forgive me,” I pleaded with him.

“Do you mean that? That’s wonderful. Nevertheless, you can pray at our chapel in the castle, like you have been since we married.”

“But I would be safe here,” I argued.

His eyes closed. “No, Sofie. I won’t allow it. You’ll stay with me.”

“Because you need me to keep your lands together?” I asked him.

“It’s more than that. You’re mine. I won’t go without you,” he told me.

“Even though you know that I would be happier here?”

“I know that you will be happier with me at the castle, watching our children grow.”

“Yes, but will I survive you putting them in me?” I stepped out of his embraced and turned back to the wall. I sank down to my feet and cried.

At first, my husband didn’t do anything. I felt his eyes on me, watching me. Then he bent down and lifted me up.

“Please, don’t punish me. I can’t bear it anymore,” I pleaded with him.

“You’ll have to. No wife of mine can run away and not expect some sort of punishment.”

I couldn’t control my weakness, or the tears that came with it.

He sat down on my bed and twisted me so I was over his lap. My hands reached forward to the floor so I wouldn’t fall, and my feet were also only barely touching the floor. Only the very tips of my toes were. I felt as if I might fall, but my husband’s thick arm was wrapped around me, holding me down as well as the rack back home could do it.

“Only naughty little children run away from home. I’m going to spank you like a naughty little girl, because that’s exactly how you acted.”

“But I’m not a commoner. You can’t do this to a member of the nobility.”

“Were you never spanked as a child?” he asked me surprised.

“Of course not.”

“Well my father never heard that nobles don’t spank their children. He spanked me rather often. I’m a better person for it, and you shall be too.” He swatted his hand down on me. “Besides, I’ve spanked you before.” Then he lifted up my skirts. “I see your rump has returned to its original color. I fear it won’t stay that way for long. But perhaps once we get back home, you’ll behave a few days, and it could heal again.”

He was different. He was going to spank me, but he was talking to me differently. Before, I had been his villain wife, but now it was as if I were a real person to him. I wasn’t certain who I was now to him, but he referred to me as a little girl. That was better for me. Little girls were loved and cared for. If they got spanked too, then I could live with that.

He laid his hand down on my right hind cheek and caressed it, squeezing and rubbing it with his hand. “This lovely arse of yours is mine. You need to understand that. It’s mine to touch, and to swat when I feel like it, and to punish when I feel you need it. And believe me, you need it. This is going to take a while so I hope that you’re comfortable.”

“And if I’m not?”

“Then that is your problem.” The spanking started. It was so different from the punishments he had given me before. This one was a true punishment. There was nothing sexual about it. He was upset with me, and he wanted me to know it. His hand fell again and again as I gasped and cried, promising that I would never leave his side.

Somewhere along the way, I promised to give him a dozen children. He told me that he wanted a dozen obedient children, and that he feared that would never be the case if they were like me.

“I was a very good child,” I told him.

“Then it shouldn’t be difficult for you to be one again.”

“I promise I will be a good girl.” I meant it. I would do what I needed to make him be pleased with me.

~

After my spanking, he held me in his arms for a long time, scolding me to never run away again and giving accounts of what could have happened to me. He had suffered with worry while I was gone.

He laid me down in bed and covered me up as if I were a small child. Then he went to check on his men. He didn’t lock the door. He might be testing me, and I was too tired to fail him.

Later, he came back and slept beside me in my tiny bed.