Perfect Tragedy by Jennifer Miller

2

Junior high school is the worst. You would think that dealing with the wonderful world of puberty at this age would be enough, but no. Some of the girls at my stupid school make life a living hell. Not that the boys are any better - they may be worse. It’s a toss up. One minute they act like they like you and the next, they ridicule and make fun of you. It’s funny because I’ve heard some of the boys in my grade call the girls “drama” before, but there have been times I’m positive the boys’ antics would sell movie tickets. Just give me some popcorn and I’ll be set.

High school can’t come soon enough - it has to be better, right? I can almost taste how close I am to freedom - I just have to get through this year and then the next and I’ll be there.

Jack makes fun of me when he hears me say I can’t wait to get to high school. He tells me I’m going to be disappointed, that it will continue to be more of the same. I tell him I can’t wait to make new friends and date, but he says girls will still be mean to girls, and that no boy will date me if he has a say.

He’s wrong though, on both counts. I know it. Because sometimes it’s the only thing that gets me through the bad days.

It won’t be long and Jack will be able to give me a first-hand account and let me know if he’s right. He and Blake finish junior high this year and go on to high school, leaving me behind. Thinking about it makes my stomach drop and as the year continues to pass quickly, that feeling comes more frequently.

Jack and Blake are simply my best friends. Since the day we met Blake, it’s been the three of us - even though there are times Jack wished that weren’t the case. Initially, Jack tried to tell me to leave them alone, that just he and Blake were going to play and spend time together. I get it, the last thing he wanted was his little sister hanging around, but the thing is, I didn’t have anyone else. Even when Jack was always telling me to get lost, Blake would punch him in the arm, tell him to stop being mean and include me in whatever they were doing. He never acted like he was tired of me hanging around. When Jack was mean to me, Blake would stick up for me and tell Jack it wasn’t a big deal. Eventually, for the most part, at least when we were with Blake, Jack quit trying to get rid of me. And as I grew up there were certainly times I preferred to be alone anyway, but when I did hang out with them, I made it count.

No one was a bigger cheerleader for them than me. When they played video games, needed someone to judge who threw the ball fastest, who’s army guy fought best, or to decide who crossed a finish line first, I was their girl. Of course they weren’t dumb - there were times they took advantage of the fact they knew I’d do anything just to be included. I lied for them, covered for them, made them food - whatever kept them happy. I figured it was part of paying my dues.

It really came as no surprise when I followed them into junior high and found that they were extremely popular in their class. No doubt when they go on to Mason Creek High it will be the same. Everyone wants to be friends with them, or just be around them. I’ve seen kids act extremely stupid about it. One time, a boy in my class named Seth was literally run down by Jack as he ran backward to catch a football pass, not bothering to realize that Seth was standing behind him. Seth, who had his back to Jack, couldn’t get out of the way fast enough, hit the ground hard, slid and even cut his chin open. For days after, all Seth and his friends could talk about was how Jack was kind enough to help him up and mumble, “Sorry man.”

Boys are dumb.

If they knew what Jack looked like when he woke up, how he laughs every time he farts or burps any time he drinks soda, they may think about him differently. Sighing to myself, I roll my eyes, who am I kidding? I’m sure that would just make him rank higher on their cool meter.

I suppose I should be thankful for Jack and Blake’s cool status because by association no one messes with me… much. At least not when Jack and Blake are around. No one is that stupid. When they aren’t though? Well, then it’s open season.

Like today.

Jack and Blake’s whole eighth grade class went on a field trip to the history museum. They’ve been gone all day and I’ve done my best to ignore the teasing and ridicule that seemed to start as soon as they disappeared on the bus, but it’s not easy.

“You’re not so tough when your brother and Blake aren’t here, are you?” Justin Sanchez, the class bully, says with a cruel laugh. It only gets louder when I look the other way in an effort to ignore him. “Go on, say it. I dare you. Tell me again what you said to me yesterday when I told you that your hair is so gross that you were getting flakes of dandruff all over my desk.”

I wish he’d go away and leave me alone. They always say to ignore bullies, that not giving them the attention they want will make them lose interest.

They’re wrong. It gets worse.

Justin sits behind me in history class. The whole hour yesterday he kept flicking my ponytail with his finger or pencil. I knew he was just trying to get a reaction, so I tried my best not to give him one. My focus remained on my teacher and I copied notes from Mr. Callahan’s teachings from the board into my notebook, but he became incredibly distracting. Algebra isn’t my best subject either, so I require all the concentrating and notes possible to help me keep the B I have in that subject.

When Justin wasn’t getting a reaction from me by flicking my hair, he started pulling it instead. When that went ignored, he began pinching and poking my exposed neck. Finally, having taken enough abuse, I turned around, gave him a stern look and said, “Leave me alone.”

That went over about as well as expected. I actually flinched when he laughed. He continued to torment me adding that he was only doing it because my hair was “gross and flakey and snowing all over his desk.”

He was lying just to be jerky. Besides, I have great hair.

After a particularly hard pull where I could feel hair snap out of my scalp, I loudly told him, “Stop it, now! That hurt!”

Drawing our teacher’s attention, he scolded both of us initially. It continued to happen and we called each other names under our breath, until he pulled hard enough to make me yelp. There was more than a few strands of hair that time. Mr. Callahan busted him, gave him detention, and kicked him out for the rest of class. I was relieved.

But, today is a new day.

Turning to him, I glare, “What’s got you acting like a spoiled child again today, Justin? The fact you got detention yesterday, or are mommy and daddy fighting because daddy’s drinking too much again? Either way, get over it.”

I shouldn’t have said it. I knew I shouldn’t have. It’s not nice to comment on the rumors that run through our small town. My mom would be so disappointed in me, but I can’t take it back now. The rumors about Justin’s family are infamous.

Seeing his eyes widen in disbelief, I turn back around and do my best to ignore him the rest of class. A feeling of guilt settles in my chest and I know what my mom says is right, kindness goes further than cruelty, but I had trouble finding that kindness within me today. Besides, that great advice from my mom usually comes after Jack and I get into a fight, so does it even really count with someone like Justin?

I decide, no.

It’s no surprise that Justin doesn’t get over it - not at all. Instead, he continues to harass me all day. It seems wherever I turn, he’s there. At lunch, he makes a point of walking by me and sniffing loudly, yelling out, “Eww, why do you smell so bad, Sienna?”

This draws nervous laughs from the super mature classmates around me which only spurs him on further.

As if that’s not enough, my ultimate nemesis, Hailey Spellman laughs at Justin’s antics like he’s the funniest and smartest boy in the whole school. I see right through her and narrow my eyes. Well, at least I see through her now. At one time she had me completely fooled thinking she was actually my friend. We hung out and she even came over to my house a few times. I was a little annoyed when she came over because she wanted to hang out with me, Jack and Blake and not just me. The reason not dawning on me initially.

Until, one day I was in the bathroom stall at school when Hailey walked in with her friends Stephanie and Rebecca. None of them checked to make sure they were alone before Hailey began speaking about how she’s excited to hang out at my house that weekend. Stupidly, I smile to myself, also looking forward to hanging out with her and feeling kind of cool because she was talking about it with her friends. The plan was for her to stay the night too - not just come over for a few hours, and I was really excited. I’d never tell her, but it was going to be my first slumber party. I had a whole agenda planned out that included movies, popcorn, pizza, and manicures. I even had our movie selection picked out and planned on asking her which one she wanted to watch beforehand. Thinking I’d walk out and do just that, Stephanie’s words stopped me.

“How are you going to stand it?

My brow furrowed in confusion, my fingers paused from turning the lock on the door to step out.

“Like I do every time, duh,” Hailey responded. “I smile at her, and toss some attention her way like she’s a good little puppy craving attention. It’s called acting, Stephanie. I should get an Academy Award.”

Stephanie and Rebecca laughed.

“It works every time,” Hailey continued to brag.

“You’re so evil,” Rebecca said.

“Whatever. I’ll do anything I have to do. Blake will be my boyfriend. You wait and see.”

Clarity removed the rose-colored glasses I was wearing. My excitement for our slumber party scattered like ashes in the wind. It’s hard for me to understand how someone could be so cruel. Unshed tears burned my eyes and clogged my throat, but I did my best to swallow them down. Pushing my shoulders back, I flushed the toilet again even though I already had before they walked in. The sound was like thunder clapping in the bathroom, the lock sounded loudly as it turned and I walked out of the stall glaring at all of them on my way to the sink. While I washed my hands, I took great satisfaction in the shocked look on her face. I didn’t say a word, there was no reason to.

Needless to say, she never came over that weekend, or any other. Ever since, there’s been a seething hatred between us - not that she has any reason to feel that way toward me. I never even told Jack or Blake about it. What was the point? They don’t give her the time of day anyway.

Now, Justin and Hailey have appeared to bond in their mutual dislike for me. I do my best to ignore them, gather my lunch and leave. Tears fill my eyes and I hate it. I’m ashamed I’ve let them bother me. I’m tired of the moments I’ve spent wiping away a stray tear in secret because of them individually - them picking on me together is bound to be worse.

I don’t expect them to get up and follow me out of the lunch room. They walk behind me as I head toward our next class, and poke fun at me.

“Could she act any more like a boy? Hanging out with Jack and Blake - it’s like she thinks she is one,” Hailey says with a laugh.

Sometimes, when I’m alone and it’s quiet and I reflect on these moments, I wonder if being in the spotlight because I’m friends with Blake and related to Jack is worth it. Not that I can change who I’m related to, but at times I would much rather be left alone and have no one even know who I am.

My thoughts are interrupted when suddenly someone loudly says, “Leave her alone!”

Shocked, I turn around to find the source and I’m surprised to see Vanessa, a girl that I’ve only spoken to a couple times, has come to my defense.

“Shut up and stay out of it,” Justin, the charmer of the ladies that he is, snaps at her.

“You guys need to get a life. You’ve been bothering her all day and everyone knows you’re only doing it because Blake and Jack aren’t here. Once they find out, well, let’s just say I don’t plan on going to your funerals.”

I can’t help it, I laugh. Not only at her words but at the pure joy of her unexpected defense of me.

“Whatever, Vanessa. Get lost,” Hailey replies and she sounds so ridiculously whiny that I can’t help it - I laugh harder.

“What are you laughing at?” Hailey seethes. “You’re just a pathetic loser that has no friends and spends the whole day alone and lost when her brother and boyfriend aren’t here.”

“Blake isn’t my boyfriend,” I reply automatically.

“You just wish he were,” Justin sneers. “Thing is, he probably doesn’t even know you’re a girl, look at you,” he says gesturing to me and I do everything I can not to look down at my jeans and plain blue t-shirt. “Even I can’t even tell. No one can.”

Oh joy, another round of making fun of my appearance. Like they haven’t said this before. It doesn’t matter though, his words make a wave of heat run over me like a wave, embarrassment instantly burning my cheeks.

“Look how red her face is,” Connor, one of Justin’s minions, has joined the party.

“That’s because it’s true,” someone else calls; likely one of Hailey’s friends.

“Sienna loves Blake,” Hailey sing-songs, “Too bad you’ll only ever be his best friend’s annoying little sister.”

Don’t react, I instruct myself. It’s exactly what she wants.

“God, Hailey, just when I think you can’t get more pathetic, you take the cake again. You’re just a sad girl that’s so insecure she has to make herself feel better by being mean to others. Mommy and daddy still only paying attention to your stellar big sister, Rose? Picking on others to make yourself feel better is so predictable,” Vanessa says.

My eyes widen at her words. Everyone knows that Hailey’s older sister is the apple of her parents’ eye. Straight A’s in high school and everyone in town is talking about the college scholarship offers she already has rolling in. Her parents use each and every opportunity to brag about it.

“I think we all know who the real loser is here,” Vanessa adds, and before Hailey can respond she turns to Justin, “And you. Talking about Sienna’s appearance? Seriously? That’s funny coming from you considering your hair is so long and wavy you look like a pretty, pretty, princess from the back.”

Before he can retaliate with something scathing our teacher finally walks up to the locked door we’ve been waiting outside of while having our battle of wits. Mrs. Ripley apologizes as she tries to unlock the door with her hands full and I’m just thankful her appearance stops my torment - at least for now.

Hailey and Justin shove past me into the room, which is fine. Turning, I face Vanessa, still surprised that she came to my defense. I try to smile, but given my mixed emotions, I’m afraid it’s more of a grimace. She doesn’t seem to mind because she smiles at me reassuringly and something within me relaxes a little. It feels good to have someone in my corner. Not knowing how to say thank you and feeling more than a little embarrassed at the whole thing, I dart into class and take a seat.

Once class is over and we’re dismissed, I leave as fast as I can and make a beeline for the restroom and shut myself into a stall. Taking deep breaths, I do my best to calm myself and push the cruel words spoken earlier from my mind. All during English class they kept replaying in my mind over and over, my insides feeling like the words were actually chewing me up. This time, I can’t resist and I do look down at myself. I’ve got my favorite pair of faded blue jeans on and my blue t-shirt has a character from one of my favorite TV shows on it. I loved it and begged my mom to get it for me when it was at one of my favorite stores in the mall. I guess maybe I do wear it a little too much.

My Vans are also well worn and my hair is in its ever-present ponytail since I prefer it out of my face. I may not be wearing a dress or skirt like some girls, but that doesn’t mean I look like a boy.

Hailey and Justin’s words cut to the quick because I do have a secret crush on Blake. I have since the day we met, and they’re right, I’m only Jack’s little sister. Sometimes, I can convince myself that maybe he likes me too. Each time he smiles at me, flicks my ponytail, teases me or winks at me, I feel hope inflate like a balloon in my belly. I want to think it’s more than just some young girl’s imagination and fantasy.

The bathroom door opens and I realize a few tears fell down my cheeks. Grabbing toilet paper I wipe them away as my stomach drops, fearful Hailey has found me. Taking a deep breath, I prepare to open the door.

“Sienna?” A soft voice calls.

Relief rushes over me like a cool breeze and I open the door to find Vanessa standing there with a concerned look on her face. “I waited outside the door for you,” she gestures toward it, “but got worried,” she shrugs.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you worried? About me?”

I look closely at Vanessa. I don’t see humor twinkling in her eyes or find a hint of a mocking smile on her face. Her light blonde hair is pulled up into a ponytail like mine, but she’s got a ribbon tied around it that matches the red dress she’s wearing today. She’s one of the most mature girls in my class, body wise. It’s true, I’ve found myself wondering a time or two if my boobs will ever get as big as hers already seem to be. Certainly no one would ever mistake her for a boy, that’s for sure.

She shrugs, “I like you. You’re cool. And Hailey and Justin are assholes,” she says and a genuine smile comes over my face at the sound of her cursing.

“Yeah, they are,” I agree and place my backpack on the floor before I begin washing my hands in the sink. Keeping my focus on them, I add, “You don’t have to worry about me though, I can handle myself.”

“I know you can, but you don’t always have to alone. We can all use a friend sometimes too. I’d like to be yours.”

Hesitantly, I raise my eyes to her and again evaluate her face closely. She seems genuine. I’ve never seen her fawning over Jack or Blake so I don’t think this has anything to do with them. In fact, I suppose I haven’t really seen her hang out with any particular group of people. She seems to be a bit of a loner too, like me.

“How about tomorrow we sit together at lunch?” She asks me.

“I’d like that,” I admit.

“Me too.”

We both smile, and with a nod we head out of the bathroom and toward the next class we both share, already late, but I could care less.

The rest of the day is decent, Hailey and Justin get in little digs here and there, but I ignore them. Vanessa and I pass notes back and forth during History class when our teacher isn’t looking. Phones aren’t allowed in class, so good ‘ol paper and pen has to do. We get to know each other, asking things like what our favorite animal is, our favorite celebrity crush, movie, and what food we’d eat the rest of our life if we could only choose one. I had to think for a while on that one.

When school is finally over, Vanessa and I are standing at the front entrance, our phones finally in hand, exchanging numbers. Cars pull in and out picking up students and I wait for Jack and Blake to return because we always take the school bus home together. Vanessa says her mom always picks her up.

We’re talking about our last class of the day - our elective drama - and giggling about the fact our teacher had some of her lunch left in her teeth. I tried to tell her - raised my hand to point it out - but she sternly told me it wasn’t the time for questions or comments and to pay attention. I decided I didn’t care that much about telling her after all and instead tried to hide a laugh when Vanessa looked at me and exaggerated scratching the front of her teeth.

Suddenly, a body slams into my shoulder and knocks my backpack off my arm. Wincing in pain, I lean down to pick up my bag. “Look, it’s Sienna and Vanessa. Together again,” Justin’s voice rings in the air.

Hailey joins in, “First you defend her, then you hang out the rest of the day, and now you’re here. Wow. I didn’t know you were into girls, Vanessa.”

Feeling my face burn, I pick up my bag and spin to face Justin and Hailey, so tired of their antics. Before I can fire off the words on the tip of my tongue, Vanessa simply rolls her eyes, “Oh, good one. Take you two all afternoon to come up with that one?”

Something about her reaction calms me and I take a cue from her and bravely add, “I’m sure it did, V,” I give her a nickname like we’ve known each other forever. “After all, they do seem to be two peas in a pod today themselves. Like tweedle dee and tweedle dum, emphasis on dumb.”

Vanessa laughs outright. Shock, humor and something that looks like pride cross her face. As if she’s happy I fought back. “It’s a toss up which is which, huh Sienna?”

Justin’s face instantly screws up in anger and he takes a threatening step toward me until he’s in my face and his hands are squeezing the tops of my arms. His grip is so tight, I’m sure he’s leaving imprints of his fingers.

“Get off of me!” I shake my arms, but he only grips me tighter.

“You’re a stuck up bitch who thinks she’s more important than she is. Stay out of my-”

“What the hell is going on here?”

I almost sag at the sound of that voice. It’s as if the stress and humiliation from the day all release and I suddenly feel heavy. Worn out.

Looking past Justin I see the very, very, angry faces of Jack and Blake making their way toward us. Jack’s hands are clenched at his sides, his eyes angrily stare at Justin’s hands.

“Get your hands off my sister. Now.”

Justin releases me, but not before giving them once last squeeze which makes me flinch.

“Are you okay?” Blake is immediately at my side and once I nod, he too turns to Justin. Several of Jack and Blake’s friends form a wall around us as well, blocking our view from any teachers or parents in vehicles picking up their kids.

“Want to tell me why your hands were on her?” Jack asks. He’s so close to Justin’s face it’s amazing Justin isn’t peeing his pants.

“She’s been running her mouth all day, man. You know how chicks can be. She and I just needed to sort out a few things. That’s all.”

“Cut the crap, Justin. You’ve been on her case all day long tormenting her like crazy. She finally stands up for herself and you act like the victim? I don’t think so,” Vanessa says and I know I could catch flies with my mouth, as my mom would say. Where has Vanessa been? Why is she just now being my friend? I don’t know, but I’m grateful.

I didn’t think it was possible for Jack to get any more in Justin’s face, but he manages. Justin’s face instantly flushes and I feel great satisfaction at seeing that. He tries to step back a step, but Jack only follows.

“Don’t ever let us catch you with your hands on her again,” Jack says.

“Don’t even let us see you looking her way,” Blake adds.

“Understood?” Jack asks.

“Y-yes,” he nods jerkily.

“That goes for when we’re not here too. Don’t think for one second that we don’t know what goes on when we’re not here. Even when we don’t go to this school anymore, we’ll still know what happens, and we will be here, and we will find you if needed. It would be in your best interest to remember that,” Blake adds, his voice full of venom.

Jack pushes Justin away from him after Blake speaks and Justin scrambles away as fast as possible. “Are you sure you’re okay?” my brother asks.

“Yeah. Thanks.” Turning to Vanessa I smile, “Thank you as well. For everything you did today.”

“You don’t have to thank me.”

Jack and Blake start walking toward the waiting bus, “Come on, Si,” Blake calls stopping to wait for me when he sees I’m not immediately following.

“Okay, I’m coming.”

I’m stopped in my pursuit by Vanessa’s hand on my arm. “Hang out tomorrow too?”

A smile moves over my face like a flower blooming in the sun. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Vanessa and I became almost inseparable after that day. It made the eventual graduation of Blake and Jack into high school easier to handle knowing I wouldn’t be alone.

There was also joy in the fact that Vanessa was my friend, for me. It had nothing to do with who my brother and his best friend were. Junior high finally started to not suck after that day.