Grand Love by JC Hawke

4

Mase

“Someone tellme what the fuck is going on?” I demand.

Charlie turns, picking up his jacket and sliding it on. “Nina works at The Earl Marks.”

“What?” I frown, trying to decipher what he’s saying. “No, she fucking doesn’t.”

“Yes, she does.” Elliot runs his hand across his face as he watches me. “She needed a job that would cover the bills.”

“The dance lessons do cover the bills.”

“No, they don’t. There are no lessons.” Charlie’s jaw tics at that confession. “She asked us not to tell you. You just presumed.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I yell, making them all wince. “When does she teach?”

“She doesn’t. She hasn’t danced since she had Ellis,” Lance voices. “Fuck, I’m sorry mate. I didn’t think when you told me this morning.”

My nostrils flare as I clench my fists. “What the fuck!”

“Calm down. She doesn’t work Fridays. We can get Jasmine out of there before her next shift.” Elliot tries to reassure me, but it does nothing to ease the rage I feel inside.

“Jesus Christ.”

I’ve put the woman who technically split us up in the hotel Nina works at?

And Nina fucking loves to dance. It was the only thing that ever meant something to her. How can she just give up on that? I think back to the night before, and what she was wearing. Her top and skirt hugged her slender body. I couldn’t look at her without feeling every fucked-up emotion possible. Why did I not notice the skirt? Nina doesn’t wear fucking skirts.

Lance stands. “I’ll go get Jasmine. Don’t stress on this, mate. Where’s Vin?”

“Fuck off, Sullivan, I’ll sort it myself.” I don’t need Vinny involved in this. I knew if I told him about putting Jasmine up and making her give up Betty, that he would meddle. Maybe if I had told him, then this wouldn’t have happened.

I pick up my suit jacket from the back of my chair and throw it over my arm, then grab my keys from the drawer. “Next time you fuckers think about lying to me, consider what that might mean for the person you think you’re protecting. Fucking interfering pricks.”

“She trusts us, Lowell,” Elliot says to my back. “You can’t blame us for trying to keep that.”

Without looking back, I continue through the door, pissed that he’s right.

* * *

Nina

Fridays at The Earl Marks—whatan eye-opener. I thought I had it tough on my Monday shift, but this is next level busy. When Rochelle called and asked me to cover today, I knew I had to do it. I at least need to be available for the first couple months to cover extra shifts. She said she needed someone who is flexible, and I’m only able to offer her two days a week. How I got this job is beyond me. Money, Nina. Think of the money.

With renewed determination, I heave up the sheets from the floor and place them onto the trolley, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand. Damn, it’s hot up here.

“Nina, you can stop for lunch now, lovely. Karen and the girls have already gone down,” Emily, I think her name is, tells me, poking her head in the door.

Everyone is so much nicer in housekeeping. That’s one thing I haven’t missed today. Rochelle.

“I’m just finishing up in here and I will come down.” I smile.

She checks out my trolley then comes into the room. “Well, two hands will get the job done quicker,” she says, rounding the bed.

“Thanks,” I tell her as she grasps the other side of the sheet I was fitting.

“You’ve taken to this quickly today; you normally work down on reception?”

“Yeah, although I hate it down there.” Crap, should I say that. “Not hate, hate is a strong word. It’s a lot some days.” God Nina, you work two days a week.

“It’s fine, everyone hates front of house, and there’s a quick turnaround down there. Other than Ash—she’s been here for years now.”

“I think that has more to do with—” I pause, would Ash mind me talking about this? I don’t even know Emily.

“Hadley?” She laughs. “’Cause you’re right if that’s what you were about to say.”

I relax, feeling like she is safe to rant to. “She is a saint!” I chuckle. “Rochelle is scary, Ashley puts up with A LOT.”

“Yeah, not many people click with her.”

“I get it. She’s the manager, but Jesus. Why be so mean? We call her the she-devil.”

“Nina—”

“It wouldn’t shock me if she grew actual horns.”

A throat clears behind me. I bring my eyes up to Emily, who is staring at me with wide eyes, giving me a barely noticeable shake of the head.

“She-devil?” Rochelle snaps.

I clench my teeth, cringing as my shoulders tense. Fuck.

“Please, at least get creative.” She looks me up and down as if I’m the filth on the bottom of her shoe. “You’re lucky to have the friends that you do. I’ve fired people for a lot less.”

“I’m really sorry, Roch—”

“No, you’re not.” She rolls her eyes and leaves the room.

“Oh my god!” Emily whispers, falling to the bed in laughter.

I can feel my cheeks burning, they must be bright red. “Stop! This is mortifying.”

She rolls to her belly and looks up at me in question. “Are you sleeping with one of the boys?”

“Who?”

“The boys? One of the sons?”

I lift the corner of the mattress and fold the sheet under. “I have no idea who you’re talking about.”

“The notorious Arlelly brothers. You must have some pull here to not be out on your ass.”

“No! I’m not sleeping with anyone! You think she should have fired me?”

“No, of course not. But she would have normally. She said, ‘you’re lucky you know the people you do’,” she mimics.

No, she said I was lucky to have the friends I do… I instantly think about Elliot and how he told me about the job.

Fuckers.

“Come on, get this done and we can grab lunch. Before the she-devil comes back.” She chuckles.

“Shhh.” I giggle. “We’ll be out on our arses in a minute.”

We finish up the room and are halfway down the corridor with our trolley when a flash of blonde catches my eye. A woman squeezes herself past us as she rushes to her room. I push forward on the metal handles, but something in my gut gnaws at me to turn around.

She is swiping her key card, and I can only see the side of her face, but she looks upset.

I think I recognise her.

As if she knows she’s being watched, she looks straight at me, her bloodshot eyes pinching in at the corners as they drop down my frame. I give a small smile, being polite. I can see she’s been crying. She isn’t like the other guests we have at The Earl Marks. She looks… a bit of a mess. She turns away, swiping her card again, and then disappears into the room.

“Come on, there will be nothing left in the kitchen in a minute.” Emily smiles, pulling on the trolley to urge me along.

* * *

I’m walkingtowards the lifts on my way back from lunch when I spot Mason. He’s climbing from his Bentley, his powerful legs eating up the asphalt as he makes his way to the entrance of The Earl Marks.

“Mason? Is everything okay?” I ask, concerned as I push out through the main doors. Lucy would have called me if something was wrong with Ellis.

His eyes go wide when he spots me.

“Nina, you don’t normally work today?”

“I’m covering, is something wrong? Ellis is with Lucy.” Mason shouldn’t even know I work here, which means Lucy, or someone has told him. Panic fills me. I pull my phone from my pocket to check for missed calls.

“Uh, no. No, Ellis is fine,” he tells me, rubbing his thumb over his jaw. “I could’ve had Ellis today. You should’ve called.”

“I know you work Fridays.” I shrug, feeling awkward. “Luce had holiday to use, it’s fine.” If Ellis isn’t the reason he’s here… “Why are you here?”

He stuffs his hands in his pockets, looking at the cars buzzing around us before bringing his eyes back to me. And he has me, just like that, locked in a stare so intense I’m bolted to the concrete beneath my feet. I wish I could see deeper into those eyes. I swear the depths of their darkness matches my soul. They feel like home, weirdly. “I have a meeting with a client.” His jaw flexes.

“Here?” I question, swallowing past the lump that sets my voice wavering.

He continues to stare at me, unrelenting. “Yes.”

“Oh.” I realise this is probably the most we have said to each other since Ellis was born, and the majority of the conversation is being spoken with our eyes. The thought makes my face flush. “I’ll let you get on then.”

I thought I’d hate him. I expected to hate him. But I don’t. The anger is still there in my gut, but it doesn’t burn as fiercely as it once did. I could never trust nor love him again, not willingly anyway. But if I can, I want to be amicable. For our son.

“I’m still picking Ellis up tonight. Five fifteen.” His gaze drops down the length of me, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

Is he doing this on purpose?

“Umm, yeah.” I nod. “Actually…” I consider asking him to come later. I won’t see Ellis until Sunday, and I’ve been at work since his nap this morning. But this is Mason’s time, and I can’t take that from him. It wouldn’t be fair. “No, never mind.”

“What is it?” he asks, tipping his chin up, and I can’t help but focus on the movement.

Why is he so fucking hot? It’s not fair. He has more than a day’s worth of stubble lining his angular jaw. He seems fitter, sharper. More. I’m completely transfixed on him. Shit. I snap out of it.

I need to get away from him. Now!

“It’s fine, honest, five fifteen is great,” I rush out, turning and jogging back inside without saying goodbye. Rochelle spots me hurrying through the door and gives me an evil eye.

Not now Satan.

* * *

Mase

I waituntil Nina is inside then turn around and walk back towards my car.

Of course, she’s fucking working today.

Pulling out my phone, I pull up Jasmine’s number. I haven’t checked on her today, and I know she will be upset. The social worker was there as promised this morning. Seeing Jasmine break down wasn’t high on my list of ways to start a Friday morning, but I know it was the right thing to do.

I dial her number and wait for her to answer but get nothing.

I call Vinny.

* * *

Lucy greetsme at the door when I arrive at Nina’s apartment. I take in the décor, noticing more than the last time I was here. It’s minimalistic, the walls plain white and pictureless. Nina isn’t a materialistic person, but I would prefer to see the place slightly more homely for them. Apart from the photos in her bedroom, you wouldn’t know who lived here.

“Look who it is, Ell.” Lucy smiles, bouncing Ellis in her arms.

“Stop calling him that,” I tell her. “Uncle Elliot’s going to grow an even bigger head.”

“True.” She snorts.

“How’s he been? You could’ve called me. You didn’t need to take the day off.”

She gives me a look, as if what I’ve said is stupid. “I’m pretty sure it was more imperative that you were at work than me today. I make a pittance compared to you.”

“Ellis comes first, always.” I take him from her arms, kissing his full cheek. “How come Nina had to work?”

“Just picking up an extra shift. She’s saving for a breakaway with Ellis. She wants to show him the world. Doesn’t she, puds.”

Not without me, they’re not.

“When?”

She frowns, walking to the lounge to collect her things. “I don’t know.”

“She hasn’t said when she wants to go?”

“No! She’s a girl. We do this. We just need a goal to work towards sometimes.” She looks at me and her eyes soften. “Don’t stress about it. She would’ve told you first.”

I doubt that. Before Thursday, it had been radio silence for the past seven months.

“Has she seen Joey this week?” I ask shamelessly.

It still fucks with me that they grew so close.

“Do you actually want to know that? You know they’re friends, Mase.”

“Like you and Elliot are friends,” I challenge.

She rolls her eyes. “Exactly like me and Elliot. What’s with you people? You do realise Elliot and I have never so much as kissed.”

“What about his birthday last year?”

“We didn’t kiss.” She pops a brow.

I smile wide as she leans in and kisses Ellis’s head. “I need to get going, Nina will be home in about half an hour. You okay to wait? I think she wanted to see Ellis before you go.”

“Yeah, I can wait.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Luce.”

My eyes scan the apartment once she’s gone. Toys clutter the lounge and pillows are strewn around the floor. “How did the two of you make so much mess?” I ask Ellis, tickling his ribs and making him giggle.

“Da Da Da.” He claps.

“Good boy.” I place him on the floor, put on the football, then pick up some of the mess in the lounge.

* * *

It’s nearlyan hour later when Nina gets home. She rushes through the door looking a hot mess. Emphasis on the hot. She has her own clothes on now. Something I’ve missed. Her yoga pants hug her round hips, and her vest showcases more of her tits than I can stand to look at right now. I meet her eyes and see she has caught me staring.

“Hi,” I tell her, turning and placing the last of Ellis’s baby vests on the airer.

“What are you doing?” she asks, placing her bag on the kitchen island.

I walk to the lounge, bending and picking up Ellis. I feel like an ass for using my son as a shield, but right now I need him.

“You had some washing. I had time.”

“You don’t need to—”

“Well, I did.”

She nods her head, as if she doesn’t know what to say. “Sorry, I was later back than planned.”

“It’s fine. Did you want—” I move forward holding Ellis out for her to take him, but he grips hold of my shirt and starts to fuss.

“Ellis, baby, come here,” she coos.

“Say goodbye to Mummy, mate.” I turn him and place him into her arms, but he continues to fuss, leaning his little body towards me.

“I’m going to go get his things, give us a minute.” She takes off down the hall, Ellis crying for me the whole time.

All I want to do is reach out and take him.

I tell myself to give it a minute, let her calm him down. She won’t see him for the whole of tomorrow and then the best part of Sunday. They need a second alone.

It goes quiet, and then the sound of laughter floats from the hall.

My feet follow the sound.

“Do you? Does Ellis need Mummy snuffles?” I round the corner and stand in the doorway, watching as Nina runs her nose up Ellis’s belly and neck. He tries to wriggle away, but the sound of his gasping laugh tells me he loves it.

“You give Mummy kisses, you little monster.”

He laughs again, holding her face when she hovers above him.

“Da Da Da Da.”

“Yeah, I know.” She leans in and brushes her nose with his.

Ellis keeps her face held in his small hands as if he’s studying her face, a happy smile stretching his cheeks and exposing his dimples. He pulls her in and gives her a kiss with his mouth wide open.

“I love you, baby boy. So much.”

She watches him, her hair thrown over her shoulder as she rests her arms around his body. “I’ll miss you this weekend. Super snuggles in Mummy’s bed on Sunday, okay?” She kisses his head one last time and stands, lifting him from the bed.

She freezes when she spots me in the doorway. “Mason. Sorry, I was coming, I just—”

“It’s fine,” I cut her off. “I’m in no rush.” I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.

She gives me a tight smile then passes Ellis off to me. “I’ll grab his things.”

I leave her to pack his bag and wait in the kitchen. Seeing her with Ellis makes something inside of me burn.

My son and his mother.

Nina and her son. The way she is with him—it makes me proud. She’s everything I knew she would be as a mother.

“I don’t usually pack clothes. Lucy said you have everything he needs.” She passes me the bag, then starts busying herself in the kitchen without looking at me once. She knows I have everything I need for Ellis; it’s been the same routine for months.

Is she nervous?

“Yeah, we’ve got everything he’ll need. I’ll drop him back Sunday if that’s okay.”

“Okay.” She doesn’t turn and I frown as I look at Ellis who is watching me from his spot in my arms.

Is she not going to say goodbye?

“We’re going to head out,” I tell her, feeling awkward.

“Bye.”

Do I just leave?

“Nina?”

“Please, just go, Mason,” she croaks out.

Is she crying? “What’s the matter?” I ask, stepping into the kitchen.

“Nothing, I’m okay. It’s the long weekend. I struggle with this bit; you just need to leave.” She swipes at her cheek and I stand frozen, wanting to reach out and wipe her tears away.

God, is this how it always is? How did I not know this?

“Please, Mason, just go,” she begs, turning away from me and wiping down the worktop I only just cleaned.

I go to turn but stop short. Fuck. How do I leave now?

“Nina.”

“Mason, go!” She spins towards us, her eyes red. “I need you to go!” Her lip trembles.

“Ellis can stay, I don’t have to take him,” I offer, not thinking what that means for myself.

“Stop!” she cries. “Stop being…” Her shoulders slump, her eyes filling even more. “Sorry.” She walks to the door and slips out, leaving her apartment, and me. Again. How has she walked out on me again, and in her own fucking apartment?

* * *

Nina

My knuckles rapon the door once, and then I walk in, knowing Joey won’t mind me being here. I wish I was stronger than this, but every time Ellis leaves me for the weekend, it splits my heart open until he comes home again. I struggle not having him with me.

Joey lives two buildings away from my apartment in a small flat. He moved to be closer for work, but it also allows him to be closer to me. Times like now when I need someone to escape to. I can’t stand to be home alone—which is odd considering I spent so much of my childhood alone.

“Joe?”

“Yo. In here,” he calls from his room.

He’s sitting up in bed with his laptop resting on his legs, but he looks up when I step through the doorway. His arm comes out as if he knew I’d be coming, and I go willingly, needing the comfort.

I curl up under his arm, resting my head on his chest.

He doesn’t say a word.

He knows how much it hurts for me to be away from Ellis. He has had his fair share of hardship in his own life.

“Sunday will be here before you know it.” He kisses my hair. “Wanna order in or do you have plans with the girls?”

I shrug, catching a tear on my lips as it rolls over them.

“I hate this.”

“I know you do.” He pauses, adjusting the lighting on the photo he’s working on. “I wish it could be different for you. I really do.”

* * *

“Nina. Nina.”

My eyes slowly part as Joey wakes me from a deep sleep. The room is blanketed in darkness.

“I left you as long as I could, but I thought you’d want food.”

“What time is it?” I ask.

I can see his smile even in the dark. “Just gone nine. You slept for three hours.”

“Crap.” I sit up and rub my eyes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ll plate up.”

I slide my phone from the nightstand and check the screen. How did I sleep for three hours? Once I’ve freshened up in the bathroom, I make my way to the kitchen.

“Mason texted and called you.”

“He did?” I frown, stopping short in the doorway.

“I didn’t answer but after the fifth message I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t to do with Ellis.” He looks at me apologetically.

“Joey, it’s fine. Was everything okay?”

“Yeah, but I’m presuming he was at your apartment tonight?” he questions.

“I told him to pick up and drop off from now on. It wasn’t fair on Ellis being passed from pillar to post.” I start to fill my plate with the Chinese food.

“I agree.” Joey nods, pulling out some cutlery for us both. “I texted him back and told him there’s a spare key here. He was worried you wouldn’t be able to get back into your place.”

“You texted him?” I panic. “Did you say it was you?”

“Yes.”

I close my eyes and begin counting to five.

“Is that a problem?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No. But it won’t make my life any easier.”

“Why? I thought you said things were done between you two?”

“It is. We are. Things are just… Fucked. And hard. Really freaking hard.”

“Did he say something?”

I snigger. “No.” He’s barely said a word to me. “I left him, and I vowed I’d never let him back in.” I take a deep breath, not wanting to share this much with Joey. I need my girls. “I just didn’t expect to feel so much after all this time. That’s all.”

“Nina, you have a history with him. It’s okay to be confused.” He lifts his plate and goes to the sofa, sitting down and turning on the TV.

Joey has been a rock for me recently, and I’ve found myself telling him everything. But I don’t voice that he’s wrong, because I’m not confused. I know exactly what I feel when I look at Mason Lowell. It’s the same feeling I felt the first night I met him, the same feeling I felt standing on the Palais Garnier stage, the same feeling I know I will live with for the rest of my life.