Kiss My Ass by M.G. Rayne
Chapter Four
Reika
Someone needs to hit daylight with a brightness tax. Jesus, why is it so bright this goddamn early? I feel worse than I did last night. Rolling over to grab my phone “Shit!” Fuck, I forgot about my broken ribs. I didn’t shower or ice them before I fell asleep last night. Grabbing my phone, I find a text from Tom asking me to meet him downstairs. I stand up and make my way to the shower to get all the blood, grime and stink off me from last night. Flicking the light switch, I get a good look at myself in the mirror. My reflection confirms I look like hell. I have a slight bruise on the underside of my jaw. I lift my top so I can have a look at my ribs. I'm met with bright purple and blue splotches on both sides. Coffee and painkillers are needed. I switch on the shower and turn the temperature up, then head back to the kitchen to make a drink, giving the shower time to warm up. As I flick the kettle on, my phone starts to ring. Whoever is calling better be dying or trying to tell me we are having a zombie apocalypse. I look at the caller ID. Great, it's Mel. I’ve not got enough brain function for this. I click to answer and wait to see how cheery her mood is.
“Ry! You there?” Not so cheery. I might make it through a whole conversation.
“Someone best be dying, Mel. I’ve just woken up.”
“Really, dude? It’s 2:30.”
I turn to grab a cup and add two sugars, coffee and grab the milk from the fridge.
“Is there a point to you calling? I’m just about to grab a shower.”
“Such a grinch when you wake up, Ry. Will you come to the den with me tonight? That guy I’m dating wants to meet up but some of his friends are going to be there. Please, you’ll be doing me a solid.”
I add water to the cup and a dash of milk, just the way I like it. I would drink black coffee if I could, but that would be like getting an adrenaline shot just for the shits and giggles of it.
“What time? Honestly, I could use a drink after last night.”
“Is eight good for you? I can swing by and pick you up if you want?”
“Sweet. See you tonight.”
“Ry!”
“What?”
“Can you please be on your best behaviour tonight? I really like him. I don’t want you to run him off like you did James!”
“I didn’t run James off. I just explained to him the consequences of hurting my friend. Not my problem if he lost his balls somewhere.”
“Ry, you told him if he hurt me you would tie his ass up, remove his balls and feed them to him. Then remove his fingers and toes. Plus, when you got bored you would give him to the gators as a present.”
“Yeah and I was only telling him the truth. Not my problem he was a scared little bitch.”
“Mel, anyone would do the same thing for their sister from another mister and honestly, if they run because of that they aren’t worth your time. Period!”
“Yeah, yeah. Just please behave. Got to go. I’ll see you at eight.”
Having the quickest shower ever, I’m out and pull on my grey joggers with a white t-shirt. I throw my long hair up into a bun, slip my shoes on and head my way to Tom's office with a new coffee in hand.
“Dayyyyyyum! Ry, when are you gonna let me take your fine ass out?”
“Not in this lifetime, Mark. You need to find yourself a good girl. I'll suck your soul from your body and dance in the rain with it.”
“I’m not afraid to lose my soul, Ry.”
“You should be, not having a soul isn’t all it's cracked up to be! Catch you later, Mark”.
Walking through Tom's office door I’m met with a Starbucks coffee instead of the cheap shit I normally drink.
“Have I ever told you how much I love you, dude?”
“HAHAHA! All the time. Especially when I give you decent coffee.”
Sitting my ass down, my ribs twinge bringing a growl to my lips. “Before you ask, I was fighting last night. The big bastard broke some ribs.” After wiggling a bit, I get myself in the perfect position to ease the pain and get a better view of Tom, who is sitting across from me in the chair.
“Bastard? Ry, that sounds to me like you were fighting a guy last night. Please tell me it's bullshit?”
“Yep, yep and nope.” Here we go again. Tom hates it when I fight. He says I shouldn’t have to. He knows the reasons why I do but doesn’t like it.
“Fuck’s sake, Ry! Why the hell are you fighting guys? You could get seriously hurt.”
I can’t look him in the eyes. I know he’s begging me to stop. It's both an obsession and addiction to feel my flesh split when someone lands a punch, but the best thing of all is the numbness that comes with it. I feel like I belong, and I’m in control.
“If you need money, I’ll give you it. Please, I’m begging. Don’t fight anymore.”
“Tom, I love you like a brother. Thank you for the offer but you know it's not about money for me. It never has been.”
“You still blame yourself for what happened, Reika! You were a child. How could you have stopped it?” He’s pissed. All I ever asked of him and Mel was to never talk about what happened when I was younger.
“Don’t!” I warn.
“Fuck you, Ry. You’re not a robot. You can feel pain, heartache, loss. It’s not healthy to close yourself off from the world and keep yourself on a destructive path. I can’t stand by and watch you destroy yourself.”
He’s really starting to piss me off. I don’t need a lecture. I'm happy with how my life is. Why can’t people just leave me be?
“My Past is my past, and it will stay that way. You wanted to talk, here I am. If you’re going to drag this other shit up, I’m out!” Standing up I turn to the office door to get out of here before we both say things that we regret. My fingers barely touch the handle when I hear, “Running again? I thought the Great REAPER never ran from anything! You’re still that scared little girl who can’t face her problems!” My anger is building, chest heaving. I try to reign it in. Why won’t he shut up? He sees what I am capable of when I lose my shit. 10….9….8…...7……6 “You’re lost, Reika. You never gave yourself closure!!!!!!!”
White hot rage flashes through my head. I spin fast and stalk across his office toward him. Looking at me with wide eyes he knows that he went too far. Throwing my arm forward I grab around his throat and sweep my leg to knock his legs out. I have murder clearly written across my face. I’m unhinged.
“R……R……..Ry, I’m sorry!”
I scoff, “Sorry! You’re fucking sorry!!!”
“Closure,” I seethe. “How the fuck would I get closure from seeing my family brutally murdered!!!” The edges of my vision begin dimming. I know that I am being dragged back to that horrific day, but there is nothing I can do to stop it. I fight to pull air into my lungs as Tom’s office fades. Slowly it’s replaced with the walls of the past.
I’m sitting on my bedroom floor reading; mommy will be in soon to tuck me into bed. The door flies open. “Mommy, what’s the matter?”
“Baby, I need you to come with me and stay as quiet as a mouse. Can you do that for me?”
Dragging me across the hallway toward the dining room, my mum spins to face me. “What do you need me to do?”
“Stay as quiet as a mouse!”
“Mommy, you’re scaring me.” She’s taken the hatch off the air vent and motions for me to get in. A crash comes from near the front of the house.
“Climb in, baby. Remember to stay quiet, Reika. Promise me. No matter what you hear, do not come out.” I am just about to say I promise when she clicks the hatch back into place and runs out of the room. Silent tears trace their way down my cheeks. I can’t make a sound, I promised mommy I wouldn’t. I must be as quiet as a mouse. Screaming starts. I hear my mommy asking for someone to leave them alone. A man comes into the room I am hiding in. I stay super still. I don’t want him to find me. Another man walks in, dragging my daddy with him. He has got blood all over his face and can’t stand. Another man comes in and takes a chair from the table and puts it in the middle of the room. The man holding my daddy sits him in it and starts putting something around his arms.
“No, no. Please leave them alone. They have nothing to do with this. It's me you want.” I’m shaking. I put my hand over my mouth to stop my breathing from being heard. I hear screaming getting closer to the dining room. Another man comes in, dragging my mommy by her hair.
“I found her trying to call for help.” Daddy starts moving around to get to Mommy. One of the men hit him on the back of his head. Someone whispers something in my daddy’s ear and he starts thrashing more and more. I’m trying so hard to stay quiet but I’m so scared. The man holding mommy throws her to the floor. She starts to crawl away; the man grabs her leg and pulls her back. He starts pulling at her clothes. The man climbs on top of her and I hear something clinking, my eyes are blurry, but I can see what is happening. Mommy is screaming, the man is making strange noises. I remember I found Mommy and Daddy once and they made strange noises. Mommy told me it was ok. Her and Daddy were playing a game. The noises are getting louder and Daddy is screaming. She is so quiet, she’s as quiet as a mouse but not moving. Another man comes, I cover my ears. I don’t know how long I’ve been in the vent but my body hurts. The men are laughing. The man stands up and pulls her up into his arms and puts something shiny to her neck. Daddy screams and the man holding Mommy laughs.
Blood, all I can see is blood covering my mommy’s face and clothes. The man lets her go and she falls. Daddy screams and tries to get to her. She hits the floor and doesn’t move. There is blood all over her. One of the men laughs and pulls something out of his pants and points it at Daddy. There's a loud bang and Daddy doesn’t move. The men all laugh and go somewhere. I stay where I am. What if the men come back? I made a promise. I look out of the vent as much as I can and see Mommy’s eyes. She's looking at me but the brightness that used to be there is gone.
I don’t know how long I stay in the vent; my chest and legs hurt. I open the vent, then crawl out.
“Mommy, I’m sorry. I stayed quiet, but I hurt in there. Are you okay?” Nothing. “Mommy!” I touch her cheek and she’s ice cold. I can’t hear her breathe and she doesn’t move. “Mommy, Mommy wake up please, the bad men have gone! Mommy please, Mommy please, wake up...Mommy?” Nothing. She doesn’t wake up. I lie down and hug her. I know something is wrong. “Mommy. Mommy, please don’t leave me.” I hug her until my body is so cold, that’s when someone grabs me and starts carrying me away. “Noooooo!!!! Mommy, I can’t leave Mommy, nooooooo!”
Endless darkness. I can still hear the screams of the little girl, begging to stay with her parents. I hate when a flashback comes on as quickly as that one just did. My breathing techniques normally work. I've not had an episode like that in years. The fog is slowly lifting, my senses are slowly coming back. I can hear movement somewhere in the room, but it sounds muffled.
The brightness from the room is clearing the fog behind my eyes. “Ry… Reika, can you hear me?” Tom, he must be in the room with me. The darkness lifts and everything comes rushing back like a movie on rewind. Adjusting my eyes so I can see in the room after being in my memories, I realize Tom is beside me gently trying to shake me out of it. I feel ice cold, like there isn’t any warmth in my body at all. I’m so heavy, I slowly move to my knees and get my feet underneath me to stand. Closing my eyes to make sure everything stays where it's meant to be, I open them and look into a set of tortured blue eyes that are begging me to forgive him for what he said.
“Are you ok? Do you want some water or food?”
My stomach rolls at the idea of trying to eat or drink anything now. I look around wondering how long I have been lost to the memories this time. “How long was I under?” I ask quietly, still trying to get my brain to function properly.
“About twenty minutes. Ry, will you sit before you fall down?”
Years of work to build me into the person I am just shattered like they weren’t even there at all. I’ve been in control of my life since the day I started taking self-defence classes and learning everything I could to keep me in control of my world. The little girl from my memories is fading into nothing. That little girl who had dreams about sunshine and rainbows. About growing up, finding love and marriage, happiness, a perfect life, learned a hard lesson. It's not always sunshine and rainbows. I made a promise. I would never be that broken again. I’ve built myself up over the years to be stronger, better, more deadly than anything I’ve ever faced. To be in control and know how my life will work. To be prepared for the unexpected.
Shaking off the cold feeling and putting my emotions back into the box they have long been hidden in, I start to feel more like myself.
“Ry?”
“I’m fine. Nothing to worry about!”
“Ry, you just hit the deck. I tried to talk to you, but nothing. The fear on your face was pure terror.”
“Tom, I’m fine. It was an overreaction to being caught off guard. Honestly, there’s nothing to worry about.”
“R…”
“Enough! You asked me to come down because you wanted to ask me something. What was it?”.
“I….um!” Tom said as I picked my phone up from where it fell out of my pocket. “Fuck, it’s five. I’ve got to be ready for tonight by eight. Shit.”
Not even bothering to find out what he wanted, I bolt out of the door and up the steps to take me home. Once inside I start to relax. I throw a frozen pizza into the microwave and make another coffee. Making my way over to my sofa I tuck into my food. I do not get why we are friends sometimes. Complete opposites: she loves clothes, makeup, shoes, bags.
I love my boots, my leather jacket and my bike.
Twenty minutes later I have just sat down to dry my hair when I hear the door open. “Where are you at, biatch?” I knew it. Hmm, how long till she bitches about my outfit choice. She strolls into my bedroom done up to the nines with a little black dress, killer heels, make up on point and not a hair out of place. I turn a little green. Mel is gorgeous, always attracting the attention of men wherever we go, as if she’s a homing beacon for the male species. Me, I blend. I’ve never been one for makeup, honestly, I don’t even know what to do with the stuff. I tried once to put it on and I ended up looking like a Pennywise look alike who had a taste for heroin. I finish the last section of my hair and turn to Mel.
“You look gorgeous. From your outfit I guess you’re planning on getting laid tonight?”
“Damn right I am. Antonio is fiiiine! What are you wearing?”
“My usual.”
“Like hell you are! The den isn’t the run-down shack it used to be. You aren’t wearing jeans and boots. C’mon, Ry!”
Grinning, I wave my hand to the closet. I know that's what she wanted anyway. She disappears into my tiny closet and starts throwing my stuff over her shoulder. I need a beer; this is going to be torture. I grab a Bud from the fridge and head back to the room. After a lot of banging and swearing, Mel finally comes out with a grin on her face. I’m fucked! That look means she wants to cause trouble.
“What about this?” She holds up a black dress which would barely cover my ass. Where the hell did she find that? I don’t own any dresses.
“Where did you pull that from? I don’t own any shit like that.”
“I hid it here a while ago, hoping you might get over your no dresses rule.”
Sneaky bitch. I wondered why she keeps disappearing into my room when she comes to visit. How much more shit has she hidden without me knowing.
“Nope, not happening. I’m not wearing that. My pussy and ass would be hanging out!” Rolling her eyes, she heads back in to hunt down something else. I hope her ass gets lost in Narnia. Snorting to myself, I sit down on my bed and wait. Ten minutes, that is all it took for her to screech, she’s found it.
“I’ve got it. You don’t do dresses, so I’ll make you a deal.”
“Hmmmm...”
“Wear this and the only thing I'll do is put makeup on you!”.
Someone please kill me now. She’s jumping around like an excited puppy. “Fiiiine,” I groan.
She hands me the clothes. Huh, never thought to put these together. Pulling my leather pants up and over my ass, I grab the ACDC top she’s pulled out with it. I love this top; I’ve not worn it in years. It's ripped in places and barely stays together. Putting it on and pulling it down, it shows my stomach and falls off one shoulder. Before I get to check if my bruising is showing, Mel grabs me. She pushes me into a chair so she can do my makeup.
God knows what has been put on my eyes, eyebrows, lips and cheeks. After a couple of touches to my hair, so it falls in waves down my back, she finally allows me to look in the mirror. Looking at my reflection I am surprised at what I see. My makeup looks fierce with dark eyeshadow, to really make my grey eyes pop, and red lips. I have the whole look of a sexy AF woman. With my no shit attitude it all works. I like where this is going. Fuck it, I have been ghosting my fuck buddy lately. He wants more than I am willing to give. Time to find a new one.
Mel applies more lipstick when we pull up. Soon we are heading to the line. I start walking to the back of it when she grabs my arm. “We don’t have to wait, Ry.”
“Mel, have you seen the amount of people here?”
“Trust me, we don’t have to wait in line.”
Heading to the door I see the bouncer. The guy is fucking huge, like a minotaur and Godzilla had kids. Tattoos run up his arms. He has a bald head and a don’t fuck with me expression. He spots Mel as we are making our way over. “Hey, Cam. What’s it like in there?”
“Busier than usual. Who’s your friend, Mel?”
“Ry, this is Cam. Cam, this is Ry.” Does he have to be any more predictable? It's written across his face that he likes what he sees and is about to spew some shit.
“You fancy a drink when I get off work, gorgeous?”
I can’t be arsed with any more drama today. I want to get pissed and dance my ass off. Giving a wink, we walk past him into the club. According to the groans and the WTF shouts, the people in the line are pissed. Halestorm's “I Miss the Misery” is blaring from the speakers. It’s definitely changed, not what I remember. There's a dance floor in the middle now, tables around it giving a perfect view. Booths line the back wall behind the DJ box, probably for VIP’s. The bar is lit up in blue lights to my right.
“What do you think?” She leans into me, shouting in my ear so that I can hear her.
“Definitely different. I’m going to get a drink, do you want one?”
“Nah, I’m gonna look for my date if that’s ok with you?”
“Go, I can look after myself. Find me when you find him. Don’t worry, I’ll be on my best behaviour,” I say dripping in sarcasm. She will find her date and I won’t see her for a while. Instantly she melts into the crowd.
“What can I get you, gorgeous?” I was in my own little world thinking it would be a while with the amount of people here. Looking at the voice that has spoken, there stands a blond-haired, blue-eyed guy with a couple of tattoos and a cheeky grin. He's cute, but not my type of cute. Too friendly and a happy vibe is coming from him. I need someone a lot darker.
“You finished checking me out, gorgeous?”
“Yeah, you're cute, darling, but I’m not your type. Can I have a bottle of Bud?”
“Not my type? What do you think my type is?”
“The bubbly cheerleader types.”
“Wrong. That’s not my type at all.” He passes me my drink, looking slightly offended by my comment. I laugh. Don't ask a question if you're easily offended. Taking a drink of my beer a blonde-haired pretty girl strolls up to the bar and asks him if they are meeting up after he finishes work. Lifting my eyebrow, I smirk at him. Spotting a table free, I squeeze through the crowd. Some cheeky git managed to grope my ass on the way. Thank God I’m not wearing heels. Mel is nowhere to be seen, but I’m not bothered, honestly. I enjoy my own company. Still I scan around the room as far as I can see to try to spot her. If my girl is getting shit then you know my ass will be there. On my return scan back to where I started, I see a tall blond-haired guy looking straight at me. Huh, weird. I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere before. Fuck knows. “Mi Gente” by J Balvin comes on. Finishing my beer, I make my way to the dance floor. The beat is building, my hips are moving, I throw my head back and just feel. Everything is bliss. The best feeling ever.