Flipping the Switch by Brigham Vaughn

TWENTY

Logan’s heart clenched at the sight of Jude walking away. There was something wrong. Something had been off all evening. Whether it was the generous gift from Tony that had made Jude envious or something else, he had clearly been unhappy. On the surface, he seemed fine. He said the right things, he was as generous as ever with his knowledge, and he’d helped Logan set up and execute a gorgeous scene. But his usual sparkle and light was gone, and Logan needed to know why.

Tony was sleeping deeply so Logan slipped out from under him, sliding a pillow under his cheek in place of his thigh, and was relieved when Tony dozed on. Logan brushed his fingertips across Tony’s short dark hair, affection for him mingling with worry about Jude.

He found Jude in the kitchen, arms braced against the counter, every muscle in his body strung tight.

“Talk to me,” Jude,” Logan said softly.

“I can’t.”

The words came out like they were being forced between gritted teeth and Logan’s heart ached at Jude’s obvious pain. “Why not?”

“Because I’m a selfish asshole and I don’t deserve your time. Go take care of Tony.”

“Oh, Jude.” Logan sighed and closed the distance between them, pressing up against Jude’s back and wrapping his arms around his body.

Jude let out a wounded little sound that almost broke Logan’s heart.

“Tony’s sleeping. Please, talk to me. You deserve my time and attention as well. I need to understand what’s going on.”

“What’s going on?” Jude twisted and Logan stepped back so they stood face to face. Jude’s voice was low and furious. “I’m jealous as hell of Tony and I don’t even know why. We talked about the way the scene would go and I was fine with it at the time, yet I am still so riled up over it for some reason. I don’t understand it and I hate that I’m feeling like this.” Jude pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes.

“Look at me, Jude.” Logan made his voice firm and Jude obeyed, staring at him with hurting, wounded eyes that made Logan’s chest ache with a need to fix whatever was going on. “Did you want to be the one I was whipping?”

“Yes, but that wasn’t it.”

“You wanted to be the one whipping Tony?” he guessed.

“Maybe. But no, that wasn’t really it, either.” Jude’s expression was miserable.

“I can’t fix this unless I understand what you’re struggling with.”

“I don’t think you can fix it anyway.” His sigh was heartfelt. “I just … I feel like neither of you really need me anymore.”

“Oh.” Logan blinked at him, processing his words. “Oh, Jude no …”

“What’s the point of me being around?” Jude asked, his voice rising. “You’re a dominant and you have a submissive in Tony. I was here to help you get experience, teach you a few things but you have that now. At this point I’m really just a third wheel, aren’t I? You’re both too nice to say it but I am and it … it hurts.”

The pain on Jude’s face and in his voice was very real and Logan wanted to reach out and gather him close, hold him until he stopped doubting, reassure him that wasn’t true at all. But he kept his hands at his sides, wanting to make sure Jude said all he needed to.

“I never meant to make you hurt, Jude,” he said softly. “Not this way.”

“I know. And neither did Tony. But I’m extraneous now and—”

Logan shook his head. “You’re not extraneous, Jude. You’re every bit as important to this relationship as me or Tony.”

“I wish I believed that.” His sigh was heart-wrenching.

Logan frowned. He had an inkling of where this was coming from. How growing up, Jude had been made to feel that he was a failure. Logan understood too that his previous relationship had left scars as well, making Jude doubt that he would ever be enough. He needed someone to see that he was perfect just as he was. That his switchiness wasn’t a deterrent but a part of what made him wonderful and special and right for Logan and Tony.

“You are enough, Jude,” Logan said firmly. “I don’t want you to be anyone but who you are. I want you to be the amazing, wonderful switch you are because you make Tony and me complete.” He gestured to the cross. “Do you see that? Do you see the way it needs three points of contact with the floor to stand properly? No, not all three are exactly the same length. It isn’t exactly equal but it’s still stable, it’s solid. It’s perfect the way it is because of the way it’s shaped. God, if you and Tony would just see how amazing you both are, you would see how much you bring to this relationship. I couldn’t have done this without you both and I damn well don’t want to lose you now, Jude.”

“I don’t want to lose you either,” Jude whispered. He reached out and Logan took his hand, threading their fingers together. “I want you both, I care about you both, I just—”

“You want me? Like … for more than just fun?”

Logan jerked in surprise at the sound of Tony’s voice and turned his head to see him standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but a blanket.

“Yes,” Jude said.

Tony turned to look at Logan. “And you?”

“Of course I do. I’ve been meaning to say something since I got back from Chicago, but I wasn’t sure if either of you wanted it and I’ve been a little hesitant to bring it up.”

“I wanted that too but I started to doubt that either of you would want me.” Jude gave him a weak smile.

Tony shook his head. “I had no idea that either of you might want something more serious, I thought this was just temporary for both of you.”

Logan looked up at the ceiling. “And here I thought we were doing so well communicating.”

Jude laughed a little wetly. “I thought so too.”

Logan lowered his head and gave both men a steady look. “Then let me fix this and be plain. I care for you both. Having both of you in my life feels right in a way I’ve never experienced before. If you’ll have me and if you’re willing to help figure out how we can make this triad work, I want a relationship with you both. I want to explore the idea of a future together. A solid, committed relationship with all three of us.”

Jude’s expression was conflicted. “I want it. You know I do. I care for both of you so deeply, but—” He closed his eyes. “I feel like I don’t deserve it.”

“Oh, Jude.” Logan squeezed his hand.

He grimaced. “I know I come across like … life is easy and nothing much matters to me and I’ll be fine no matter what, but there’s this voice in my head telling me that I’ve never amounted to much. That I will never be enough. No one has ever said I’m enough as I am and—”

“You are though,” Tony said. He stepped closer and took Jude’s hand too. “You are so amazing, Jude. I love that you’re so unapologetic and bold and real and everything I want to be. You’re an incredible Dom and you make me want to be a better sub.”

“Thank you,” Jude whispered.

Logan caught a glimpse of his watery eyes as he reached out and pulled Tony close. When they parted, Logan reached for Jude, holding on to both of his hands. “You know that voice comes from your family, right?”

Jude nodded.

“And maybe some baggage from your ex. But I want you to hear me when I say I agree with everything Tony said. You are an amazing man. I am constantly impressed by your zeal for life and your dedication to your career. Your ability to switch is nothing short of amazing to me. I love that we can top Tony together. I love that you can submit to me. I love everything about the dynamic we all have together. I want nothing more than to nurture it and see it grow. But you are going to have to let go of this idea that you aren’t enough for us.”

Jude’s swallow was audible. “I’ll work on it.”

“Every time you doubt yourself, I want you to hear me tell you that you’re enough. And that’s an order.”

Jude laughed, though he sniffled and pulled one hand away to wipe at his eyes. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good.” Logan leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips.

Together, they turned to Tony who stood there staring at them with a soft expression, blanket hanging low on his hips.

“Tony?” Logan prompted. “Are you in?”

“I want this.” He laughed shakily. “I want this more than you can imagine, but I’m a little overwhelmed. It’s a lot to think about.”

“I know it is,” Logan said softly. “I know you have so much on your plate right now and that you have to figure out how to sell the business to pursue what you love and that means dealing with your father. If a relationship is too much on top of that, I understand. But if you are willing, we’ll be there by your side through all of it. I promise I will help you in any way possible.”

“I will too,” Jude said.

Tony’s swallow was visible. “You mean it?”

“I do.” Jude reached out and tugged him closer. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to spoil our scene tonight.”

“It’s okay. You’re allowed to get scared too, you know?” Tony said.

Jude sighed. “I know. It’s just hard for me. Admitting I don’t always know what the fuck I’m doing sucks.”

“It’s never easy for anyone,” Logan admitted. “But that’s why we have one another. If one of us falters, the other two are there to pick up the slack. Tony, I don’t know if you heard what I said to Jude earlier, but I was thinking about your cross and the way it is shaped and how that reminds me of the three of us. I genuinely believe we’re all better together. Stronger together. Balanced in a way that couldn’t be accomplished with just two.”

“I do too,” Jude agreed.

“So do I but … I … can I really have this? Have both of you?” Tony said in a hushed voice.

Jude laughed wetly again. “If you want us, we’re yours.”

“I want you.”

Logan pulled them both in then, roaming his hands across their skin as he crushed all three of their bodies together and kissed them both. It was wet and messy and chaotic, and it took a while to figure out how they all fit but it was so right and real that a sharp pang of pleasure went through his chest. This was what he’d been wanting. What he’d been desperate to find. It was more perfect than he could have imagined and for a long while, he simply stood there and reveled in the rightness of the moment.

It wasn’t until Tony hissed and flinched away that they all drew apart.

“Sorry.” Tony’s face screwed up in a little frown. “Only my back is sore and …”

“Let me see,” Logan said firmly.

Tony turned and Logan eyed the thin red lines crisscrossing his back. “You took it beautifully for me. It didn’t break the skin, but I’d still like to wash it and treat it.”

“Okay. But can we do something first?”

“What’s that?” Jude asked.

“I want to take care of both of you. You did so much for me today, making me feel so much better about restraint and whips and … I want you to get what you need.”

“Well, that’s my fault. I had a tantrum instead of actually talking like a grown up.” Jude rolled his eyes.

Logan rubbed Jude’s back. “You were struggling. That’s okay. I just hope that next time you’ll talk to me before you get all up in your head about things.”

“I will.” Jude’s expression was soft, but it turned mischievous. “If it’s being offered though … I wouldn’t turn down Tony’s suggestion.”

Logan chuckled. He loved Jude’s ability to bounce back. “How about Tony and I focus on you now? If you’d like, perhaps Tony can suck your cock while I whip you.”

“If I’d like.” Jude scoffed. “Yes please, Sir.” He dipped his lashes. “I can call you ‘Sir’ now, right?”

“Mmm.” Logan wrapped an arm around him and hauled him close. “If that’s a title you feel comfortable with, I would love it if you called me that. I just didn’t want to push.”

Jude’s expression was almost bashful. “I wasn’t sure if—”

Logan cut off his words with his mouth, threading his hand through Jude’s hair and kissing him deeply. “I love it. I wanted to hear it again. I didn’t say anything before because I wasn’t sure if it had just slipped out in the moment, or you’d meant it.”

“I meant it.”

Logan lifted his hands to cup Jude’s face. “You are perfect the way you are, remember that. I want you, and Tony, in my life for as long as you’ll have me as your Dom and your partner. I’m not naïve enough to think this will be easy but I will fight for you, Jude. I want you to know that. Whatever happens with your father, with anyone in the community, I want you and I will do whatever it takes to make you and Tony mine.”

Tears sparkled in Jude’s eyes, and he nodded. “Thank you, Logan.”

They both turned to Tony, who was standing there watching them. His expression was curious and open, and he came willingly when Logan tugged him close. “That goes for you too, Tony.”

“Thank you, Sir.” Tony’s voice was very soft and very heartfelt. He turned to Jude. “And you, Sir.”

Jude let out a little noise, half-startled, half-happy, and he grabbed Tony and pulled him in for a searing kiss.

When they broke apart, Logan leaned in, stealing a kiss from each of them. “Tell me what you want now.”

Jude squared his shoulders. “For you both to take me apart.”

Logan smiled. “It would be my pleasure.”

Twenty minutes later, Jude was bound to the cross, ass and shoulders glowing pink from the warmup Logan had given him with his hand and a flogger. Logan surveyed him with an appreciative sigh. The green rope was gorgeous on him, but Logan thought he’d do a deep rich blue for Jude sometime. His heart felt light as he patted Jude’s ass. “You ready for this?”

“So ready, Sir.” Jude’s lashes dipped.

Tony knelt nearby, waiting patiently for his instruction to join in. Logan took a deep breath as he walked over to the coffee table and picked up the whip. His arm would be sore tomorrow, but he wanted to give this to Jude, wanted to hear his little gasps and cries. Wanted to work with Tony to take Jude apart like he’d asked for.

Logan closed his eyes a moment, centering himself before he let the whip fly. A touch wide but it still landed with a crack on Jude’s ass, making him cry out and writhe like Logan had imagined. He’d gone harder than he had on Tony of course.

“Tell me how that was, Jude,” he prompted.

“So good. Hurts like the devil and I love it.”

Logan smiled. Whipping Tony had been rewarding. It had pleased Logan so much to see Tony trust him enough to try something he feared. And Jude’s happiness made Logan joyful.

“Then I guess I better keep going,” he teased.

Logan kept the hits slow and almost lazy at first, delighting in every cry and every pained wriggle, watching the stripes of color bloom against Jude’s smooth golden skin.

“You’re beautiful like this, Jude,” he praised. “So gorgeous. Do you know that?”

Jude shook his head.

“You look so right strung up on Tony’s cross, covered in my rope and my welts.” He let a few more hits fly, trying to find a rhythm between them and his talking. “You’re both mine, you know that?”

Jude whimpered.

“You’re my submissive and Tony’s dominant and you are perfect just the way you are.”

Jude hadn’t heard that enough. Logan would repeat it over and over until the words stuck and he believed them.

“Tony is perfect too, but I love how very different you both are.” He struck hard, landing the whip in a beautiful hit that made Jude suck in a breath. He hung there, every inch of his body trembling as he shuddered through the pain and Logan became dimly aware of how hard he was. His cock pressed at the fly of his jeans, and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside Jude, but forced the thought from his mind and delivered another hard, stinging hit of the whip. And another. And another.

Jude panted and shivered as Logan stepped forward, the whip momentarily set aside. Logan pressed his body against Jude’s, rubbing his cock against his marked-up ass, knowing the denim would abrade the sensitive skin.

Jude whimpered again.

“How are you doing?” Logan asked, nuzzling Jude’s cheek, feeling the wetness there. He slid his hands up Jude’s torso to cruelly pinch his nipples, enjoying his pained gasp and the way he rocked against Logan’s erection.

“So good, Sir.”

There was a slur to Jude’s words and Logan dragged his blunt nails down Jude’s pecs, raking across his nipples and down over his abs. “Good.” He bit Jude’s shoulder. “I’m going to loosen these ropes around your waist and then I’m going to let Tony use that amazing mouth of his on your cock while I whip your shoulders.”

Jude’s desperate noises grew louder.

“Do you like that idea? I want to hear your words.”

“Yes. Please, Sir.” Jude’s voice was hoarse, and he licked his lips like his mouth was dry.

“Tony, get him something to drink,” Logan said.

Tony scurried to get one of the bottles of water Jude had set out earlier. He helped Jude drink and when Jude was done, he pressed his forehead against Tony’s.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Tony stroked his hair and kissed him, then stepped back to kneel again.

Logan reached out to toy with Jude’s cock. He was thick and hard, leaking against Logan’s palm as he stroked.

“What a gorgeous little pain slut you are,” he rasped. “Mmm. I love that this makes you so hard.”

He ground against Jude’s ass, half of him hating that he couldn’t feel their bare skin together, half of him loving that this was hurting Jude more.

“Can you feel how hard I am too? How much it turns me on to whip you like this? You and Tony are every fantasy I’ve ever had come to life,” he purred. Jude’s cock jerked in his hand and he squeezed more tightly. “And someday I’m going to see if I can whip you to an orgasm with nothing more than a plug up your ass and a good hard beating.”

Jude moaned low and long.

“But for now, I’m going to let Tony work his magic while I whip you. You may come when you’re ready, Jude. Tony, you may use your hands or mouth to get Jude off. Just keep it below the waist. I wouldn’t want to accidentally hit you.”

While he spoke, Logan had worked a knot loose, allowing Jude’s hips free movement, and stepped back.

Tony slid between Jude and the cross, kneeling between his spread legs. The angle was a little awkward, but this shouldn’t take long.

Logan stepped back and retrieved the whip, enjoying the wet sounds as Tony took Jude into his mouth. He’d grabbed the lube they’d set out earlier and Logan watched for a moment as he worked two fingers into Jude’s ass, opening him up. Jude’s moan was broken and desperate.

“Mmm, fuck. I love watching you two together like that.” Logan raised the whip and let it fly, satisfied when it hit Jude’s shoulders and made him jerk against the ropes. Tony choked—Jude must have thrust deep—and picked up the pace, fucking Jude’s ass harder with his fingers.

Logan felt a sense of rightness settle over him as he hit Jude’s shoulders over and over again, striping them with red. Need burned in his belly for release, but he kept going until Jude was trembling constantly, whimpering.

“Are you going to be able to come like this, Jude?” Logan asked.

“So close.” His breathing was ragged and desperate. “Need you, Sir. Please.”

“What do you need, Jude?” Logan hit him again—a solid crack that made his ears ring and Jude writhe against Tony’s mouth and fingers.

“Fuck me, Sir. Need you inside me.”

“So needy,” Logan replied. He laid another stinging hit on Jude’s shoulders and tossed down the whip. “But I will always take care of your needs, Jude. Tony, stop for now.”

Logan stripped out of his clothes as fast as he could manage and walked over to the cross. Jude was too tall for him to fuck like this, but he worked the remainders of the knots loose, and Jude sagged back against his body. He braced himself, taking his weight. “Can you get over to the couch?” he asked in Jude’s ear.

“Yes.” Jude’s words were slurred and his forehead was sheened with sweat, making his hair cling damply to it and his face was a little red. Logan thought he’d never looked more beautiful. But Jude stumbled a little as Logan tried to guide him across the room.

“Help me lower him to the floor, Tony.”

Tony did and in moments they had Jude on his hands and knees on the soft rug. He trembled, eyelashes wet, but his cock was as hard as ever. “Suck him, Tony.”

Tony stretched out under Jude, feet toward Jude’s head as Logan fumbled with a condom. Jude whimpered when he eased inside, but whether it was from the press of Logan’s cock or the feel of Tony sucking him Logan wasn’t sure.

Too worked up for finesse, Logan pushed deep. He didn’t have words, only desperate touch as he gripped Jude’s hips and drove in and out of him.

Jude’s sounds were equally desperate, ragged breaths and little cries that spurred Logan on. Tony’s hands brushed against his thighs as he did something to Jude and Logan cried out at the answering clench of Jude’s body.

“I need you to come apart for me, Jude,” Logan said breathlessly. “I want to feel you coming around me.” He closed his eyes and gripped his hips harder, slamming into him at a brutal pace.

Jude let out a choked cry and threw his head back, body strung as tight as it had been on the cross. He clamped around Logan’s cock, whimpering helplessly, wracked by the most intense orgasm Logan had ever seen.

And then an equally powerful one hit Logan, boiling up from his balls and spreading outward in heated waves until he gasped, bent over Jude’s, anchored by the touch of Tony’s hand against his thigh.

Logan shook for a few moments, panting desperately, head fuzzy as he lost himself in pleasure.

Eventually, Logan pulled out, discarding the condom on the floor and mentally apologized to Jude for messing up his place. With Tony’s help, Logan eased Jude to the floor.

He lay sprawled on his stomach, panting heavily, his back red with marks and glistening with sweat.

“How are you doing, Jude?” Logan asked.

“S’good, Sir,” Jude slurred.

He didn’t seem to be able to manage more than that, but a blissful expression crossed his face. Logan rubbed his lower back where there were no marks. “What a good boy you were for me.”

Logan sighed contentedly and looked over at Tony. He looked happy too, though he was still hard.

“You didn’t come.” Logan wished he had it in him to fuck Tony, but he would be lucky if he could manage a hand job. His right arm ached from the whipping and his muscles trembled a little with the exertion.

“No, Sir.” Tony’s eyes were wide. “But that’s okay. I like that sometimes.”

“Oh, do you?” Logan gave him a curious look.

“Yes, Sir. It pleases me to make you both happy and I like being denied if it’s an order.” He bit his lip.

“Well, that’s very good to know.” Logan leaned over Jude’s still-heaving back and pressed a kiss to Tony’s forehead. “Then I’m ordering you to not get off until tomorrow morning. I might fuck you tonight once I’ve recovered but even if I do, you’re not allowed to come.”

Tony’s face lit up. “Thank you, Sir.”

“Thank you both,” Logan said. He resumed running a hand across Jude’s skin. “The two of you are more than I ever could have dreamed of.”

“Me too,” Tony whispered. Jude mumbled a drowsy sound that Logan took for agreement.

Once they’d recovered sufficiently, Logan coaxed them both into the shower and ordered Tony to gently wash Jude. Jude was still a little loopy and he wiggled happily when Tony toweled him dry. Logan got him to lie down in bed and Jude fell asleep halfway through Logan gently rubbing soothing cream over his welts. He took care of Tony next, smoothing the ointment over his lighter marks and taking the time to kiss him and tell him what a good boy he was.

After, Logan settled on one side of Jude while Tony took the other. He reached out and clasped Tony’s hand over top of Jude, who murmured sleepily.

Logan closed his eyes and sank into sleep, knowing his dreams could never be as good as reality.