At First Hate by K.A. Linde

Duke

April 5, 2010

Lora tipped her drink toward me. She’d been drunk for the last hour, and the game hadn’t even started. “So, tell me again… what happens if you win this bet?”

I leaned against the couch in Ash Talmadge’s off-campus house. Unsurprisingly, his parents had gotten him a place in Durham for college in the same way that Derek’s parents had, and he was throwing a national championship party. Because Duke was in the national championship.

“Technically, I’ve already won.”

UNC had fizzled out in the tournament, and Duke was about to clinch the title for the fourth time. Neither of us had called in for the end of the bet, even when UNC lost. It was as if we were both holding our breath to see how far this would all go.

“Yeah, but still…”

“She gets to get back at him for what he did… or something, right?” Brinley asked. “It’s a feud.”

I nodded. “We’ve been feuding since high school. He keeps fucking up my relationships, and I keep messing up his. So, now, we’re in a holding pattern.”

“Okay,” Lora said, tipping her cup forward and nearly pouring her drink out. “Hear me out. What if you just hooked up instead?”

I snorted.

Brinley cackled. “I said the same thing. But she swears that it’s platonic.”

“Yeah right,” Lora said. “You want him bad.”

I flushed at the comment. I did. I didn’t know what had happened over the last couple months. But Derek and I had started texting, and we hadn’t stopped. Not just about the bet. Actually, we never talked about it anymore. He was gone a lot for the tournament, and he sent pictures from wherever he ended up. What had gone from a feud and bet had morphed into something that I could hardly deny to my friends, let alone myself.

And then Derek walked into the house. Ash called his name, and they shook hands, laughing and heading to the kitchen to tap the keg. But for one split second, Derek turned away from Ash and glanced into the living room, as if he were looking for something. He found me, and his smile brightened. He’d been looking for me. My cheeks heated at that one glance. Then, he was gone.

“Girllll,” Lora drawled. “If you don’t fuck that, I’m going to.”

Brinley and I both burst into laughter. Lora wasn’t even going to make it through the game. I’d also been drinking steadily since I’d gotten here, but I didn’t want to get too drunk. I wanted to remember the game. And whatever might happen after.

Derek and Ash came back out of the kitchen with a bunch of Ash’s frat brothers. For the first time, I realized what Derek’s shirt said.

“You didn’t!” I said.

He arched an eyebrow. “What?” He pulled his shirt out for me to see. “You don’t like it?”

Duke was playing Butler in the national championship, and the bastard had gotten a Butler shirt to wear to the party. Such an asshole instigator.

“Where did you even get that?”

“Bought it online.” Derek sank into the open space next to me. Our knees and hips touched. I shivered slightly.

“I can’t believe you.”

“Had to support the correct team at a Duke party,” he said with a lazy smirk.

“You’re a dick,” Ash said with a laugh. “Why do I put up with you?”

“Because you’ve known me your entire life?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“So, Derek,” Lora said, batting her eyelashes at him, “what’s your plan after graduation?”

“Ahhh,” Ash said dramatically. He punched Derek in the shoulder. “Tell them.”

I looked at him expectantly. We hadn’t talked about the future. He was graduating in May. But we hadn’t discussed what would come next. As if we’d called a time-out on the clock moving forward.

“I got into Harvard Law,” Derek told them.

“Whoa,” Lora said.

“Like it’s hard?” Brinley joked. “That’s amazing.”

Then, he looked down at me, and I brightened for him, even as a slight panic formed in my chest.

“Congrats. Going to be just like your dad?”

He frowned. “Yeah. I guess so. Always thought I’d take over the law firm one day.”

And for a second, a chasm split between us. It had always been there, but it was another reminder of how different we were. I had big dreams, but I always worried about how to afford them and what was going to happen. He, on the other hand, was a legacy at Harvard Law. He would work for his dad right after graduation. Things were always so easy for Derek.

“Your dad’s an attorney too?” Brin asked.

He nodded, looking away from me. “Yeah. He owns his own practice in downtown Savannah.”

“Best in town,” Ash said.

I fell silent as everyone discussed their own hopeful plans for when they graduated. Lora would be off to DC, working for a lobbying firm. Ash wanted to move back home and help run the family business, which was essentially owning the entire town. Brin wanted to travel for a year and maybe look into international business. When it got to me, I told them what I’d been saying for years.

“I want to find a cure for dementia. So, probably a PhD in neuroscience and decide from there. Become a professor or work in the private sector.”

Everyone stared at me long enough that I flushed.

“That’s ambitious,” Ash said.

“Our girl is going to save the world,” Lora crowed.

I laughed just as the game got started, and the focus was pulled from me. Everyone zeroed in on the TV, but Derek was still looking at me.

He touched my leg and leaned in close. “Is this about your grandpa?”

I gulped and nodded. I’d told him over one of our chats about my Gramps’ declining health. It ran in his family, and his memory had been getting progressively worse. It was only a matter of time before it took him too. I hated thinking about it.

“They’re lucky to have you,” he said gently.

I looked up into his gaze and found him sincere. “Thank you.”

He nodded and went back to the game, but he didn’t move his hand from my leg. He stroked slow, methodical circles into my exposed skin. My breath hitched at the feel of him touching me and the heat spreading up my legs. It made concentrating on the game difficult.

At halftime, he got up to get a drink for us both, and I thought that might be the end. But he settled right back to where he’d been sitting. He passed me my drink, and then his hand returned right to where it had been before. Maybe an inch higher. I shifted my legs together, trying to reduce the growing heat in my core, and he glanced over at me with a knowing look on his face. I could barely meet that gaze. Damn him. I was turned on… and he knew.

But he didn’t say anything about it. Just left his hand on my leg throughout the rest of the game. Thankfully, no one else said anything about him touching me either. This was all new, and I didn’t know how he’d react to it. I didn’t know how I’d react to someone pointing it out. Because I didn’t want him to stop touching me… and I didn’t know how I felt about that either.

Duke won at the last second, and everyone in the room jumped up to cheer. Even Derek got into it, though when I looked at him, he just shook his head at me.

The party swelled and swelled. I lost Brin and Lora in the mass of people. Suddenly, it was just me and Derek in a sea of unfamiliar faces. I was tipsy from alcohol and drunk on the adrenaline of our win.

So, when Derek tipped my face up to his and pressed his mouth to mine, I didn’t pull back. I didn’t even consider it. I kissed him back. My fingers dug into the material of his stupid Butler shirt, and my body arched into him. His hands came around my back, holding me tight. I’d known he was tall and big. He was a college basketball player after all. But I’d never felt so small as when I was in his arms. As if I had been made to fit right into him.

He pulled back slightly. My eyes were still closed, and I slowly, lazily opened them to look up at him.

“I believe this means you won.”

“I guess it does,” I said, dazed.

He moved a stray curl from my face, and I leaned into him again.

He bent down and brushed his mouth against the shell of my ear. “It’s kind of loud in here.”

I shivered at that one touch. I knew what I wanted, and I was drunk enough to ask for it. “My place isn’t far.”

He took my hand without another word and drew me out of the party. I texted Brin to let her know that I was leaving. She probably wouldn’t see it until later, but it didn’t really matter. I wanted to let her know that I was safe.

Duke was on fire—both figuratively and literally—as we headed to my place. I was glad to have Derek at my side as we walked through the madness. I wouldn’t have felt safe otherwise.

Derek reached down for my hand and threaded our fingers together. I gulped and looked down at where we were connected and then back up at him. This felt surreal. How could this be happening? This was Derek Ballentine. He’d been my enemy for so long that it was disorienting how fast everything had shifted.

I opened the door to my place and let Derek inside. “Do you want a drink?”

He shrugged. “Sure.”

I went into the kitchen, reaching inside and drawing out two beers. When I turned around, he was there, taking them out of my hands and setting them down. I opened my mouth to say… who knew what. But before I got a word out, he had me pressed back against the fridge. His hands ran down my sides, and all my thoughts fled as his lips tipped forward against mine.

This wasn’t like any of the other kisses we’d had before this. Derek was claiming me. He wasn’t hurried. He was completely sure of himself in this moment. He knew what he wanted, and I was it.

“You’re so short,” he murmured against my lips.

His hands traveled down my ass and to the backs of my legs. He effortlessly hoisted me up, as if I weighed nothing at all. Then, he deposited me on the kitchen counter, pushing his weight between my legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as I was suddenly almost on his level.

“That’s better,” he growled.

He ran fingers down my bare legs and then up, up, up and under the hem of my skirt. His lips were back on mine, dizzy and disorienting. I wanted more, and yet everything was moving at lightning speed. Hands on my inner thighs, his pelvis pressed forward against mine, out lips wet and perfectly in sync.

I could feel the hard length of him even through layers of clothing, and everything in my mind went blank. I didn’t know quite when it had happened, but I could deny this no longer. I’d kept him on his toes so long that I’d done nothing but deny myself what I wanted. I didn’t want to deny anything anymore.

“Mars,” he breathed. His finger rested on the lace of my thong. He trailed the line of it experimentally.

My head dipped backward. “Oh God.”

“You like that?” he asked, deep and breathy.

“Yes,” I gasped as he touched the apex of my thighs and ran back and forth over my clit.

“You’re already wet for me.”

My cheeks colored at the words, but he wasn’t wrong. His teasing all evening had left me wet, and now, with his mouth on mine and his dick pressed against me and that finger trailing along my clit… I was positively soaked.

“Derek, please,” I groaned.

He grinned devilishly. “Oh, I like that.” He kissed down my neck, and I tilted my head for more. “Say my name again.”

“Derek,” I all but whispered.

“Again.”

He slipped under the material of my thong, and he dragged a slicked finger over my clit.

“Fuck,” I gasped. “Derek, oh God.”

He nipped at my collarbone and then withdrew. I whimpered at the loss of him, but he just hoisted me up off of the counter. His hands on my bare ass as he carried me out of the kitchen. Our drinks forgotten.

I pointed him in the direction of my bedroom, and he toed the door open before dropping me back on my bed. Then, he sank to his knees before me, drawing my thong over my hips and discarding them onto the floor.

“What are you…” I managed to get out before he descended onto my clit, sucking and licking me. I gasped, my hands fisting into the comforter. “Derek!”

He pushed my legs open, spreading me wider for him. I bucked off the bed at the first touch of his fingers at my opening. He spread my lips apart and then trailed lazily through the wetness at my sensitive core. Expletives left my mouth at his practiced touch. Then, without notice, he sank two fingers deep inside of me, plunging in and making me cry out in pleasure. All the while, his mouth was still attached to my clit, building everything to a crescendo.

Suddenly, everything went cataclysmic. My body seized and then exploded in waves as I came at the behest of his mouth. I shuddered all over, covering my face with my hands. I came down from the high to find him still on his knees, just watching me. He slowly pulled both hands away from my face and pressed a kiss to my lips.

“That was hot.”

I laughed, too tipsy to even care. “I never thought you would call me hot.”

“That’s because you’re beautiful,” he said, kissing me again, slow and unhurried.

I was all flustered from that comment. Hot was one thing. Beautiful was… I didn’t know. It didn’t sound like a word Derek ever used.

“We need to get you out of this ridiculous shirt,” I said, pushing the Butler shirt up to reveal the six-pack underneath.

As he drew it up over his abs, I gaped. Was it a six-pack or more of an eight-pack? Because, holy shit, he was all muscle. Straight muscle. Arms and chest and abs, and I ran my hands over every inch of him.

“You’re huge,” I muttered without a thought in my head.

He chuckled, and I could see the dirty thought form without saying a word.

“Oh my God, that isn’t what I meant.”

“Isn’t it?” he asked with a wink.

He took my hand and pressed it down farther and farther, over those miraculous abs to the waistband of his pants until my hand rested over his dick. I took it in my hand through the material of his shorts. He groaned and grasped my hips, dragging me closer to him on the bed. It only made me grip him harder as I felt the full length of him. My eyes widened the entire way. Because shit. He was huge.

“Derek,” I breathed, wanton.

Neither of us could move fast enough. A bubble had been popped at the thirsty way I said his name. I yanked off the rest of my clothes, and he stripped out of his shorts. A condom appeared from his wallet, and then he rolled it into place. He crawled over me on the bed, all six foot five of him towering over me. My breath caught at the first feel of him pressed against my opening. He took his time easing into me, and at that final push, where he seated himself fully within me, we both released harsh breaths.

His hazel eyes met mine. A half-smile cracked on his face, and then he was kissing me with fervor. I clutched at his back, wanting him closer. So much closer. He complied by pulling out and then slamming back inside of me. It jerked me upward at the force of the momentum, and I didn’t care for a damn minute. I just wanted more. I’d denied myself this for so long. Ignored every single part of me that said I didn’t want him. I didn’t want this. And now, we were here, and I could feel every single lie break down and dissolve into nothing.

I wanted Derek Ballentine. I wanted him more than anyone else in my entire existence. And here, right now, was the climax of a long-held desire. It didn’t seem like I was the only one. He responded to every single little squeak and moan out of my mouth with vigor. Attentive to my every move, as if he could read my mind.

He grasped my leg and braced it against his shoulder, diving even deeper inside. I gasped as everything shot through my body. I was so close. So fucking close.

“Mars,” he ground out, raw and earnest.

“God, yes,” I said.

His finger slipped down to my clit, and he rubbed me in circles as he pushed in. “Come with me.”

And I did, letting loose all at once at the command in his voice and the overload of his hands and dick and mouth. Everything coalesced into one earth-shattering orgasm that left me speechless and seeing stars on the ceiling. Derek thrust a few more times, his body tensing around the buildup. Then, he grunted and came hard and fast inside of me. He dropped forward over me. We were both panting, our bodies slick with sweat.

He got up briefly and tossed the condom before falling back onto my naked body.

“Derek,” I breathed, running my fingers through the slight curl in his dark hair.

“Hmm?” he said groggily.

“Does that make you my prize?”

“I guess it does.” He chuckled against my chest, and then his lips moved over my sticky skin. Kissing my neck, chest, and then down to my breasts. Taking one nipple into his mouth while massaging the other breast.

I was entirely spent and yet somehow still aroused by his touch.

“We just finished. You’re going to get me all hot again,” I teased.

His eyes lit up at my words, and he moved to the other breast. I squirmed under him. He braced a hand against my hip, holding me in place.

“If I’m the prize, then I should make sure you get off a few more times, right?” he asked with a naughty glint in his eyes.

I gaped at him. “I just came twice.”

But then there were no words as he sucked a nipple into his mouth while his hand traveled south again. There was only gasping and crying out and coming. There was only round two and round three and collapsing into bed, exhausted and spent and never wanting the morning to come.