At First Hate by K.A. Linde

Savannah

Present

“Ican’t believe that you agreed to go out with Derek again,” Maddox said from Gran’s old chair.

“Me neither,” I admitted.

“He’s the enemy.”

“Yep.”

“How do you reconcile what he’s doing to us with seeing him?”

I shrugged and adjusted my dress in the mirror. “I try not to think about it mostly. They were going to contest the will either way. The fact that Derek is representing them is frustrating, but it would have been someone even if it wasn’t him.”

“I guess,” he admitted.

“You could come out with us. Bring that girl you’re seeing.”

He tensed. “I’m not seeing anyone.”

“From what I hear, you’ve been seeing a lot of someones.”

He arched an eyebrow. “So?”

“Got a bit of a playboy reputation, little brother.”

“You’re thirty-seven minutes older, Mars,” he groaned.

“Still counts.”

“Do you really want to talk about my sex life?”

I pointed at him. “Fair. No. Gross.”

He laughed. “Have fun with your ex.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “This is about Ash.”

“Don’t have fun with Lila’s ex,” he said with a smirk.

I smacked him upside the head and called the Uber to take me downtown. I’d just been picked up when my phone rang. Derek’s name popped on the screen, and I tensed, wondering what he could want. I was already on the way to see him against my better sense.

“Hey,” I said when I answered.

“Change of plans. Game is still on. Meet us at Dub’s.”

“What game? Duke has a bye week,” I said with a grin.

He huffed. “The only team that matters, obviously—UNC.”

“How’s it going?”

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, which said all I needed to know. “Tense. Just get here, Mars.”

Then, he hung up the phone. I giggled at him. The game must have been going really poorly for him to slip up and call me Mars. I hadn’t heard that name from him in years.

I leaned forward and asked the Uber to change the destination to Dub’s Pub on River Street. It was a large sports bar with pool tables and ping-pong tables, which were primarily used for beer pong. It’d been a few years since I’d been there, but nothing had changed. I found Derek, Amelia, and Ash seated at the bar. Derek was yelling at the screen. Amelia had her hands over her eyes and was shaking her head.

“What did I miss?” I asked as I approached them.

Ash had a shit-eating grin on his face. “Mars, you have to check this out.”

I glanced at the screen and then began to cackle. “Oh. My. God. Is UNC losing to App State?”

“Shut it,” Derek growled.

But I couldn’t stop laughing. Not that UNC or Duke were particularly good at football. We were both basketball schools through and through, but Appalachian State was a crap team. They’d pulled an upset over Michigan when I was in college, but they’d moved back into obscurity since then.

“We can still pull it out,” Amelia said with a wince. She peeked back up at the screen. “We’re almost set up for a field goal.”

Ash kicked back at the bar and threw peanuts into his mouth. He was enjoying this, which was a sharp contrast to how I’d seen him every other time. But hey, we both loved to watch UNC lose.

“Come on,” Derek shouted.

I took the seat next to Ash and watched the field goal get set up. “Ten bucks he misses,” I said to him.

Ash nodded.

Derek glared at me. “Watch your mouth.”

I couldn’t keep the grin from my face. “You’re losing to App State.”

He rolled his eyes and went back to praying. I could actually feel them hold their breath as UNC got the last-second field goal off that would tie up the game and send them into overtime. I’d been joking when I said he would miss. I hadn’t expected App State to block it.

I gasped. “Oh fuck.”

Derek’s head hit the bar with a loud groan. Amelia’s jaw fell. Ash tried not to look too smug.

“Should we go get drinks elsewhere?” Ash asked, patting Amelia on the back.

“I need one,” she said. “That was…”

“Terrible,” Derek groaned. “There goes the whole season.”

“Didn’t you lose last weekend too?” I asked.

Derek threw his hands out. “We beat South Carolina. I don’t get it.”

“You’ll probably still be bowl eligible,” Ash said like a consolation prize.

“Clemson is going to wipe the floor with us next week,” Amelia said as she hopped off the chair. “I don’t even want to watch.”

“But we will,” Derek said, following us out, “because we’re masochists until basketball season.”

“Admit it,” I said with a laugh. “You’re masochists during basketball season too.”

“Hey, didn’t Alabama beat you forty-two to three in your opener?” Derek asked.

“Shh, we’re talking about your defeat to an unranked App State right now.”

“It was pretty beautiful,” Ash said. “You wanted to cheer me up, and look, that made my birthday.”

Derek shot him a look. “So glad that my defeat could bring you such joy.”

“Thanks, man.”

Ash stepped forward with Amelia, and I fell into step with Derek as we took the stairs up to Bay Street and walked toward City Market. Ash dragged us into bar after bar, and it became increasingly evident that Ash Talmadge knew every bartender. He got free birthday shots at them all. He was clearly a regular.

“How often do you come out?” I asked him when we stepped into Rouge Water and the tall blonde offered us another round of shots.

Derek passed his extra to Ash because he planned to drive home.

“Often enough.”

I glanced at Derek, and he shrugged. “Like every weekend or every night?”

“What does it matter?”

Because you’re a wreck, was what I wanted to say. But didn’t he deserve to wallow for a while? It had been three and a half months though. He needed to find a way to move on. And not just by getting under someone else.

“I know that look, Mars,” Ash said, leaning back against the bar. He didn’t even slur.

Meanwhile, I was having trouble standing from all the shots. Amelia was a beast because, somehow, she still seemed fine.

“Spit it out.”

“It’s your birthday. I’ll be nice.”

Ash snorted. “Since when does that matter?”

“Hey, I’ve been nice to you before!”

He nodded, his eyes going briefly distant. “Right. Yeah.”

Ash turned back to the bartender to order another shot. I grimaced. I hadn’t even brought up Lila, but clearly, it had made him think of her.

“Come dance with me,” Ash said to Amelia and dragged her out into the middle of the dive bar. Other people were sort of dancing, but it wasn’t the kind of place to dance.

“Good job,” Derek muttered. He turned to the bartender. “Can we get a few waters?”

“Maybe I’m not the right person for this job. I don’t have many memories of Ash outside of college that don’t include my best friend.”

“Ah yes, she who shall not be named.” Derek handed me a water, and I took it gratefully. “It’s fine. This is better than what he originally wanted to do for his birthday, which is all that matters.”

“What did he have planned?”

“It was a tie between sit at home alone and drink until he passed out or go out alone, drink until he nearly passed out, and take home some stranger.”

I cringed. “Gross.”

“I’d rather have him here with us. Less time to think.”

“Agreed.” I watched him dance with Amelia. He was definitely drunk, and the boy still managed to have good rhythm. It was kind of impressive. “He’s not going to try to hook up with Amelia now, is he?”

“I don’t think he’s that stupid.”

I remembered the one time I’d seen Derek throw a guy against a wall for touching his sister. But that had been years ago. He couldn’t still be that protective, could he?

“What? You wouldn’t want Ash and Amelia together?”

“I wouldn’t care if they were together. But I would beat the shit out of him if he tried a single fucking thing with my sister when his mind was still stuck on Lila.”

“That seems… fair.”

I didn’t think Amelia was interested in a dejected Ash Talmadge anyway. She was too smart, beautiful, and successful to settle for second best to anyone.

I finished my water and relented when Ash ordered us more drinks. Amelia and Derek decided against anything more. I thought Ash was going to reject Amelia’s idea to pop into Lulu’s next door for her delectable chocolate desserts, but he just shrugged, and we all stepped inside.

“Chocolate martinis?” I asked Ash.

He laughed. “That’s not exactly my style.”

“Who cares? It’s your birthday. I’ll drink one too,” I said, my Southern drawl coming out the drunker I got.

Ash shook his head at me and then held two fingers up to the waiter. “Two chocolate martinis, two chocolate chip cheesecakes, and a strawberry suspension cake.”

“Derek, you must get pictures of me and Ash drinking chocolate martinis.”

“Whoa,” Ash said. “Not that far, Mars.”

Amelia laughed. “It’s your birthday!”

When the drinks came, Ash posed with me, pinkies out and all. The drinks were to die for. Maybe better than the cake, which was two layers of chocolate cake sandwiching a layer of strawberries and cream, but never better than their cheesecake. We ate every last scrap of dessert to celebrate Ash getting another year older. And by the end of it, we were both too drunk to do much more than stumble around.

“I’ll get an Uber.” I pulled my phone out and immediately dropped it. I giggled and bent to pick it up. I nearly fell over, but Derek got an arm around me just in time. He picked up my phone, which was miraculously not cracked, and slid it back into my purse.

“I’ll drive you,” he said.

Amelia nodded. “Good idea. I’m going to walk Ash. It’s not far.”

“No way. I’ll drop you off too.”

“I’m a hundred percent fine.” She did a twirl to prove it. “I’ll catch an Uber from his place.”

“Text me when you’re home,” he said like the protective older brother he was.

She laughed. “Will do, Dad.”

Derek hadn’t released me, and I was pretty sure I’d fall over if he did. That last martini must have been potent.

“Derek,” I said as we headed toward the parking garage.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’m drunk.”

He laughed. “You’ve been drunk for a while.”

“How’d you know?”

“Your Southern accent came out.”

I glared at him. “I don’t have an accent.”

“Yeah, and I don’t like UNC.”

“I got rid of it,” I said. I’d purposely spent a lot of time getting rid of the accent that defined me as other. By the time I’d left Duke, no one would have even guessed I’d grown up in the South.

“Well, when you’re drunk, it always comes back out.” His gaze shifted to me. “I love your accent.”

I flushed. “Oh.”

He stopped in front of a sleek, brand-new black BMW. “This is me.”

“Of course it is,” I said, drawling the words and proving his point.

He popped open the passenger side with a laugh and helped me into the seat. Then, he got into the driver’s seat, pulled out onto MLK, and headed toward Gran’s house. I tipped my head in his direction, leaning my elbow onto the console between us.

“Why are you driving me home?”

He arched an eyebrow. “Because you’re drunk. I don’t trust an Uber to get you home.”

I dropped my head on my hand and fluttered my eyelashes at him. “That is very gentlemanly of you.”

“You know tonight was as much about you as Ash.”

I blinked, trying to clear my fuzzy head. “What do you mean?”

“He’s not the only one who is going through something. I know you’re sad about Gran.”

I swallowed and tried not to let memories crush me. Gran would have liked this car. She’d always loved Lulu’s chocolate chip cheesecake. She would want me to be happy. Not here and sad and dealing with all of this.

“Yeah,” I finally whispered and sat back in my seat.

“So, I’m glad we got you out. You looked like you had a good time.” He peeked over at me. “Did you have a good time?”

“The best. I liked watching UNC lose.”

He barely suppressed a smile. “Of course you did.”

A few minutes later, he pulled over in front of Gran’s house. I looked up at the big, empty house and sighed. Maddox’s Wrangler wasn’t here, which meant he’d gone home. So, that meant I had to go inside all alone.

I put my hand on Derek’s arm. “Thanks for driving me.”

“Of course.”

My eyes traveled from his hazel eyes and down to his lips. I was drunk, and this was a bad idea. And my brain couldn’t quite put the two together all at the same time.

Because without thinking, I crossed the divide and pressed my mouth to his. For a second, he did nothing. He sat there in apparent shock. Then, he moved with all the careful assurance of Derek Ballentine. His hands slid up into my hair, and he dragged me closer. We kissed with practiced ease. Chocolate still lingered between us, and it was sweet and decadent.

Everything superheated at that touch. Desire pooling in my core, sending fire down my spine. I wanted to crawl across the car and get our bodies closer together. To feel every inch of skin against skin. To feel him.

Then, slowly, ever so slowly, Derek pulled back and looked down at me. “Marley, I—”

“Do you want to come inside?” I interrupted.

He stiffened, and his eyes swept my body, landing on my lips and then back up to my eyes. I could see the struggle. The one that said he wanted what I was offering as badly as I did right now.

Finally, he pulled back. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

I jerked back into my seat, heat hitting my cheeks. “Oh.”

“You’re drunk, and I don’t want to take advantage of you. I don’t want you to regret anything in the morning.”

“Oh how things have changed,” I muttered and unbuckled my seat belt.

“Mars,” he groaned.

“It’s fine.”

He grabbed my arm before I could get out of his shiny, new Beamer. “Don’t be mad at me.”

“You’re right. This is a bad idea. Thanks for reminding me.”

He groaned and unbuckled his seat belt, following me out of the car. “Marley, you can barely walk. How can you be this mad at me when you’re struggling to get inside?”

“Being mad at you is easy,” I told him, too drunk to think clearly.

He grabbed the keys out of my hand and opened the door. Then, he took my face in his hands and kissed me softly. My eyes were still closed when he planted a tiny kiss on my nose and dropped the keys back into my hand.

“Don’t hate me in the morning when you sober up.”

Then, he turned and walked back to his car. I watched him, my body all needy and my brain all confused.

When had Derek Ballentine become a gentleman?